Blogging and Social Media Peeves

posted in: Blogging, NaBloPoMo, Social Media 76 comments

I’ve started this post four times, and I really don’t know how to introduce a topic like peeves without sounding whiny and negative right off the NaBloPoMo journey, so I’ll just dive right in.

Blogs which do not list email addresses 

I am a blog book tour coordinator, which means I scour hundreds of blogs regularly to find a good fit for my clients. When I do, the next thing I look for is an email address. When I don’t find it, I give up and move on to the next blog. Okay, it’s just a book review, but what if I was looking for paid opportunities on behalf of my clients? The blogger who doesn’t provide an email address anywhere on the blog, will have missed out. Also, contact forms are not the same thing. If I must, I use it. But I’d rather just email. Plonk your email address everywhere – in your social media icons, in contact and about pages, and even on your Facebook page. 

Bloggers who do not reply emails

I’ve emailed you. Then I wait. I think two to three days is a decent amount of time to expect a reply. A week is stretching it, but I understand that bloggers are busy people with lives. So I wait. When it’s 10 days and still nothing, then I get peeved. As a friend pointed out, saying you don’t have time to check email is almost ridiculous because bloggers live on the Internet. Or reading and not replying, which is poor form, because it really only takes a minute to say yes or no to simple requests for reviews or sponsored opportunities. It doesn’t reflect well on you if you can’t be bothered to go through your inbox regularly, and take the time to respond to legitimate requests. It almost guarantees that the same person/ brand/ company, will be unlikely to contact you in the future. 

Linking and running

Linkys are a great way to share your content, and to meet others, and share their content. This is the circle of good karma bloggers count on, and love. I’ve noticed though, in the last couple of years, through hosting my own linky and participating in others, that many bloggers ‘link and run’. That means they link up their post, and do not bother visiting other blogs, commenting or sharing. Which is kind of the point of a linky. It’s not just about self-promotion. Please don’t link and run. 

Spammy self-promotion

In the sea of blogs and bloggers, everyone wants to stand out. You want people to know and remember you. So you go to a Facebook page, and say, I liked you from this page, please like me back. Or you go to a blog post, don’t read it, and comment, “Great post! I blog at Shamelessly Self-Promoting, please visit me!”, then cut and paste that onto a hundred other blogs. Or you automate a direct message (DM) on Twitter, “Thanks for the follow! Check out my blog!”. No, no, no, no. Please be genuine. Comment on a post. Like a Page. Tweet someone. LIKE A HUMAN BEING. From personal experience, I can tell you that I’m more likely to follow you/ like you/ engage with you if you do the opposite of the examples above.

Next post? Good blogging and social media practices! 

What’s your blogging and/ or social media pet peeve?

(I should create a Pinnable graphic, right? But I’m not, because, blogging every day. So I’m just going to go ahead and use this one here.)


Alison Lee is a former PR and marketing professional turned work-at-home mother. After a 10-year career in various PR agencies, and of the worldโ€™s biggest sports brands, Alison traded in product launches and world travel, for sippy cups, diapers, and breastfeeding. Alison's writing has been featured on Mamalode, On Parenting at The Washington Post, The Huffington Post, Everyday Family, Scary Mommy, and She is one of 35 essayists in the anthology, My Other Ex: Womenโ€™s True Stories of Leaving and Losing Friends. In 2012, she founded Little Love Media, a social media consultancy specializing in blog book tours, and because she doesnโ€™t sleep, is an editor at BonBon Break, an online magazine. Alison lives in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia with her husband and four children (two boys and boy/ girl twins).

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  • November 2, 2014 Janine Huldie

    Geeat list of blogging pet peeves and with you on all of the above, especially the email responses, because nothing is worse then emailing a blogger and not getting a response in a timely manner. It is just rude. I understand we all have lives outside of blogging, but still a timely reply would be nice and courteous, too.
    Janine Huldie recently wrote…Finally Halloween 2014…My Profile

    • November 3, 2014 Alison

      Yes, exactly! Not replying is like ignoring someone who comes up to you and says hi. At least, in my books.

  • November 2, 2014 Vanessa D.

    I hate it when people link and run, which is why I tend to avoid the bigger link parties. I can understand not commenting on every linked post, but linking and running is like being invited to a dinner party and dropping your children off while going out to a movie instead.
    Vanessa D. recently wrote…Sometimes They Need To Come BackMy Profile

    • November 3, 2014 Alison

      Omigosh, I like your analogy! Yes, I absolutely agree that one does not need to read and comment on ALL the posts, but at least 2 or 3, right?

  • November 2, 2014 Elaine A.

    Okay, I will admit I am somewhat guilty on the second one but I get SO much of it. Although now that I have read this from you, I will be more earnest in my replies from now on. ๐Ÿ™‚

    And I TOTALLY agree with the third one since I host a monthly link up and only a few of the people who link up actually visit others… “Link and Run” bugs me A LOT!!

    Good post, Alison!

    • November 3, 2014 Alison

      I understand the number of emails one gets. I think it’s just a matter of prioritising the kind of mail we get – what should be responded to first, the rest can follow. But to respond, whenever that is, that’s what matters. I am not bitching on you, I hope you know that!

  • November 3, 2014 Bev

    Those automated DM messages on Twitter are so annoying, especially when they also ask you to like them on Facebook. Didn’t I just follow you on social media? And yes, linky parties are really frustrating especially when no one seems to read them! I always make a point to read at least 3 others blogs on a linky, but usually don’t get any luvin’ back ๐Ÿ™
    Bev recently wrote…Five things you might not know about me: the food editionMy Profile

    • November 3, 2014 Alison

      Oh yes, I know the ones you mean! #HateAutoDMs
      I’m sorry you haven’t been getting any lovin’ back, so frustrating.

  • November 3, 2014 Kari

    All of these 100 % agree.
    And now I get to read you every day this month.
    Are you a superhero?
    Because I think you are.
    Kari recently wrote…“Five Random Things About Me”. Also Known As “Just Things About Me”.My Profile

    • November 3, 2014 Alison

      No, I’m just crazy, hah!
      If you read me every day, that makes YOU a superhero.

  • November 3, 2014 K. Renae P.

    We share social media peeves including not having an email link. That’s a little hypocritical on my part because I don’t have an email link or contact page set up on my blog. You have inspired me to get my behind in gear.

    My $0.02: I hate people who overdose on social media: They have a blog, Twitter, Facebook, Tumbler, Instagram, Google+, Igmur, Linkdin, Vine, Youtube page, Scoop it, online newspaper, online flyers, Ning for their social media community, Sign-up Genius for their bloghop, Reminder app for that blog hop people signed up on Sign-up Genius… The only social media interaction they have is talking about ways you can interact with them via social media. /rant

    • November 4, 2014 Alison

      I hope you’ve added your email address somewhere. ๐Ÿ™‚
      Oh yes, I don’t get the overdoing of social media. I can barely keep up with the 4 or 5 that I am involved with.

  • November 3, 2014 Denise

    I’m totally with you on those. Although I am guilty of not emailing back to folks. Mostly when I think it is a form email though that is mass sent.
    Denise recently wrote…Writing and Stress #NaBloPoMoMy Profile

    • November 4, 2014 Alison

      I understand the mass emails. I was referring to legitimate ones though. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • November 3, 2014 Keely

    GAHHH, for real. The shameless self-promotion hurts my eyeballs. It’s like, is anyone BUYING that?? (Also, I’m in awe of you. NaBloPoMo? Take a NAP, sister.)
    Keely recently wrote…Five. One Whole Hand.My Profile

    • November 4, 2014 Alison

      A nap? What’s that?

  • November 3, 2014 Robbie

    This is fantastic info and I agree with all of it! Pretty sure I might be doinlg some of it as well…the no email addy possibly.
    Robbie recently wrote…NaBloPoMo 2014My Profile

    • November 4, 2014 Alison

      Sometimes, it’s an honest omission. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • November 3, 2014 Kimberly

    I have lost a lot of my readership due to shit ton of sponsored posts because I am a money whore anyways, I am trying to focus more on writing so I started whoring it up on links. Well them bitches never EVER visit. I visit and they never EVER visit. Like isn’t that the point?!
    Hell, even some of the people hosting it don’t!!!
    Kimberly recently wrote…In Your Closet. In Your HeadMy Profile

    • November 3, 2014 Emily

      Alison, I cannot believe you’re doing NaBloPoMo with two brand-new babies! Go, you! It almost drove me crazy last year, partly because I would go and rework posts and ended up spending so much time on it. But I look forward to following along. Also, you might like to know, that I started a new email for my blog, (which was listed on my contact), and accidentally forgot about it this summer. Thanks for the reminder (oops!). I agree about the linkups! So annoying!
      Emily recently wrote…Currently: with 2My Profile

      • November 4, 2014 Alison

        Oh, I am not planning to go back and rework anything. In fact, I’m barely editing the ones I’m writing and posting now. ๐Ÿ™‚

    • November 4, 2014 Alison

      I don’t understand when the host doesn’t do the visiting – I think those just host linkys to get more page views and follows.

  • November 3, 2014 Kerstin

    Amen. Especially the emails. Not just among bloggers. Ugh.
    Kerstin recently wrote…Experience2014 – October Round-UpMy Profile

    • November 4, 2014 Alison

      I know. I don’t understand how things work when people don’t respond to emails etc. Ugh.

  • November 3, 2014 Nina

    Nailed this. Of course. I have personally been railing against the DMs on Twitter for a long time. The 2nd one can be harder, but I get where you’re coming from. It’s rude not to respond. Sometimes I feel like I’m in a weird position when I get a request for a review from a blogger/writer (or her PR person) who has perhaps followed me on Twitter, but we have never really interacted nor has she read anything I’ve ever written. It’s not like I expect it to be tit-for-tat (like of course I don’t expect that someone has read all my blogs posts regularly before asking for a review.) But should they have read at least one? Responded to at least one tweet perhaps? I think so. There are too many requests coming not to at least show that the blogger knows who they are asking. Like why ask ME? What does my blog or readership have to offer that is a match for you book? That said, I do get a request from every Jewish person who has written a book so I guess they have at least glanced at my bio! ๐Ÿ˜‰
    Nina recently wrote…The First Day: Writers on Writing SeriesMy Profile

    • November 4, 2014 Alison

      I admit I don’t personally know all the bloggers I approach on behalf of my clients. I DO however, research each one before I email them – reading a few posts, checking out their Twitter feed and Facebook page. Like the kids book I’m plugging now, I only approached bloggers who have kids in the age range that the book is for.

      • November 5, 2014 Nina

        Hey Alison, just stopped back to make sure you know I did not in any way mean to imply that you have EVER been anything but professional. It would be crazy to expect that every writer and PR person knew each blogger well through social media or in person. What I object to are getting the very generic requests that make it very clear they did not even glance at my blog. You know what I mean? I saw a comment below saying someone couldn’t imagine turning down a request for a book review. I think because I also help run a book review site I get more requests than usual. I simply cannot say yet to every one. I also like to leave lots of room to just pick up books that sound interesting to me, not because I owe someone a favor or because I feel obligated in any way. I want to read everything and help everyone. But it’s truly impossible. Okay, sorry I seem to be getting so far off topic. Your tips are amazing and everyone should listen!!!
        Nina recently wrote…The First Day: Writers on Writing SeriesMy Profile

        • November 7, 2014 Alison

          Nina, don’t worry about it, seriously! I did not take your comment the wrong way, only as you intended it. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • November 3, 2014 Leslie

    That irks me too, not leaving an email address. Isn’t it all about networkin? I don’t understand why you wouldn’t. Happy Sunday!
    Leslie recently wrote…ABCโ€™s Of MeMy Profile

    • November 4, 2014 Alison

      Yes, exactly right!

  • November 3, 2014 Maketta

    Hello Allison,

    It bothers me too when I email someone and they do not respond. That is so rude in my book. If you can’t respond then maybe you shouldn’t be blogging (I’m just saying). I don’t think anyone is really that busy. It really makes you look bad. What if someone is asking a question and they really need help or they want information about a product you are promoting. That’s a fast track to lose readers and customers quick.

    I don’t know why people continue to spam either. It doesn’t get results. It just makes you look desperate. I can’t stand when people come to communities and just spam them to death. I’m like. Seriously?
    Maketta recently wrote…5 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Only Follow Big -Time BloggersMy Profile

    • November 4, 2014 Alison

      I know, the self-promoting spammers (who are real people), drive me crazy! It’s not like we don’t have enough of them automated robot spammers.

  • November 3, 2014 Sanovia

    I just want to say thank you posting this. I found you through BlogHer NaBloPoMo. Trying to spread my support to fellow bloggers. Anyway your post helped me a lot today. I keep forgetting to have my email posted somewhere on my site. I might have missed paid opportunities because of it. So thank you!!! By the way I don’t know if this count as me being a blog-whore but I did promo myself on Google+ and Facebook and Twitter. But through my own account. Not by copy and pasting to everybody pages.
    Sanovia recently wrote…Sour Sundays @ The Girl From the WellMy Profile

    • November 4, 2014 Alison

      Happy to help! ๐Ÿ™‚
      Oh, self-promoting on your own social media accounts is totally okay – that’s the point of them anyway, right?

  • November 3, 2014 Tracie

    Yes yes yes yes yes!

    These all are on my list of peeves.

    I really can’t imagine anyone not wanting to respond yes to an offer for a book review. That is just not within my realm of possibilities.
    Tracie recently wrote…The Smell Of Cold Fills The AirMy Profile

    • November 4, 2014 Alison

      Hah! Right? (though to be fair, right now I’m promoting a children’s book, not everyone’s cup of tea)

  • November 3, 2014 Lisa

    Perfect list. The DMs on twitter really bug me–some even start by saying ‘I hope this is ok to send’ and I feel like I should tell them it’s NOT ok, but then that seems rude, too ๐Ÿ™
    Lisa recently wrote…No Sparkly Shoes for YouMy Profile

    • November 4, 2014 Alison

      Oh yeah, silly DMS, seriously.

  • November 3, 2014 Alexa

    I really, really hate it when people don’t return to my blog after I’ve been to theirs. I know that is not a requirement, but when someone makes a heartfelt comment, I always try to get back to their blog and just check it out. They may not be a fit for me to follow and read every day, but I’d like to check them out at least once. Now, I know Jill Smokler is not going to come to my blog and read my posts, that is just crazy to think. But there are other bloggers that I visit ALL THE TIME who are not big time who never make an effort to return my way. Or if they do, I don’t know because they don’t comment or share. I know it really sucks to have to play this blogging game, but those of us who know the game should know better. Unlike you – even in your business, you still make time to come back. I love that! Thanks Alison. Hope those babies are being good for you!
    Alexa recently wrote…Clash of the Couples Launches Today!My Profile

    • November 4, 2014 Alison

      Oh, I absolutely know what you mean! I’ve stopped reading those blogs. They clearly don’t care about community. I mean, sure, write for yourself etc, but to return a visit once in a while is just a nice thing to do.

  • November 3, 2014 Susi

    I definitely do not like the link and run. It’s always so strange to me when people link up posts that have nothing to do with the linky. I try very hard to link, visit at least 5 other blogs and comment and most importantly comment on the linky owners blog!
    Susi recently wrote…An egret and a sunset… {Wordless Wednesday}My Profile

    • November 4, 2014 Alison

      I think those are the shameless self-promoters! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • November 3, 2014 Tamara

    Ugh, I have so many and despite the fact that the email thing happened with the two of us the other day, I hate no replies either! And I’m so sorry. I usually flag emails with a star that I can’t get to immediately but will within a day. Especially from YOU! I accidentally sent your first email to another folder. Argh!
    Anyway. People who don’t reply to comments or who link and run or who have no desire to connect? Not for me.
    Tamara recently wrote…Maybe You Should Quit Your Day Job.My Profile

    • November 4, 2014 Alison

      I totally didn’t think of you when I was talking about the email thing! You’ve always responded, so I figured it was probably your sister’s wedding, photo shoots and editing, and blog reading that you had to catch up with that delayed your reply.
      I’ve been guilty of replying to comments as late as 4 weeks after, but I always respond.

  • November 3, 2014 Stacey

    “Link and run” (love the name of that!) is my pet peeve. Nothing degrades a community faster than people who show up just for the sake of having people read their blogs (rather than giving anything back).
    Stacey recently wrote…Work Smarter: 5 Tips for Checking Writerโ€™s Notebooks Efficiently ย My Profile

    • November 4, 2014 Alison

      Yes, well said, Stacey!

  • November 4, 2014 lisacng

    All very good, especially not being able to find contact information, being email or social icons. Link-and-run is one of the reasons I don’t join link-ups because I don’t have time to actual visit other blogs. But you’re right, link and run is bad, and so are spammy comments. Grrrrr…or those that leave like 5 links to their blog and social accounts in their comments. Argh.
    lisacng recently wrote…Picture Practice: HalloweenMy Profile

    • November 4, 2014 Alison

      Oh yes, the links in comments, stop already, people!

  • November 4, 2014 alexandra

    Years ago, someone would come to my blog, Just leave the link to their site. That was all. That was their comment. Just their url. I’m not kidding.(wasn’t a spammer either… I clicked over.. it was a personal blog!)

    • November 4, 2014 Alison

      I remember those too! I think people are savvier now – they start with, “Great post!”, then leave a link.

  • November 4, 2014 Kim

    Great list!

    One of my pet peeves is when people write comments like the one above and don’t expand on their thought. It makes me wonder if they even read the post…and if they’re doing nothing more than spammy self-promotion by dropping a link in the form of a pseudo comment.

    As for linkys, ugh. I’ll admit to being guilty of this a few times (not intentionally though) but I do try every time to to participate. I usually scan the list of those who have already participated and look for posts I might be interested in reading. If I don’t find something I think I can contribute, I don’t share a link. It’s not fair to others.
    Kim recently wrote…Why I WriteMy Profile

    • November 4, 2014 Alison

      I agree with everything you say, Kim!
      With linkys, I try to visit at least 3-5 blogs that look interesting to me.

  • November 4, 2014 Charlotte

    Oh, my goodness, Alison. Yes, Yes, and MORE YES. It’s funny… I have started working with a company over the past few weeks that works directly with bloggers and so I’ve noticed good/bad form a lot more in recent weeks. The not including an email address anywhere thing REALLY irks but so do the sharefests/linkys where people don’t return a follow. I try always to visit at least 2-3 bloggers and say where I’m coming from; but I don’t always get a single response. And as you mentioned, the bloggers who don’t EVER respond? It takes a lot of effort to send out those emails and often I find myself playing a really annoying waiting game where I’m hoping to get responses from a lot more bloggers than I would like. I know you read this email! LOL, anyway, thanks for this. I am here applauding you ๐Ÿ™‚
    Charlotte recently wrote…#CelebrateInStyle event with Single Edition MediaMy Profile

    • November 4, 2014 JoAnne

      I completely agree! Now, I only have my actual email address written in one place and linked in some of my articles… but it’s at least there and easy to find. Everything else I do a better job on.

      The BlogHops are the thing that bother me the most. The point is, after all, to be part of a community so when no one actually makes an effort to drop by at least a FEW of the blogs that are involved it can get to be awfully frustrating. It’s sad, too, because if you fail to check out ANY of the other blogs then you are missing out on the opportunity to find and grow your own community. Writing is often a solitary endeavor, but if you want to succeed in both your career and your life then you have to engage with others.

      • November 5, 2014 Alison

        You’re right, the engagement is so much part of what makes blogging fun, it’s a shame when people choose not to do that.

    • November 4, 2014 Alison

      The non-response is really frustrating, isn’t it? How often should we email and how many days in between do we give them, before it’s considered stalking? LOL.
      The non-visitors in linkys is a more recent thing, I noticed. When I first started blogging in 2011, people were great at reading/ commenting on other blogs.

  • November 4, 2014 Julia

    First you are a crazy woman for blogging every day : ) But maybe I should follow in your shoes and do the same thing, though I already missed 2 days…. I agree with all your pet peeves especially the last one, I hate when I get those messages I followed you please follow me back. But I always follow back.
    Julia recently wrote…Dinner and Drinks Week 3My Profile

    • November 4, 2014 Alison

      You can always jump in now! You can register your blog in their blogroll until November 5!

  • November 4, 2014 Amy

    These all make sense. As does your awesome list, but I confess I’m not as good at some of those. I have a tendency to get overwhelmed and/or intimidated by some of the sharing etc so I just let it slide, which is lame. I think a lot of that stuff takes practice in order for it to feel less cumbersome. Also I really like to sleep so sometimes I choose to do that instead. (I don’t understand how you do it all!)
    Amy recently wrote…This sign was on a toiletMy Profile

    • November 4, 2014 Alison

      Oh yes, I totally understand that not everyone can and should do everything above. Sleep? What’s that?

  • November 5, 2014 Kim

    The self-promotion is grating for me, too. I like genuine interaction. I like to feel like I am getting to know someone – not that I am just another number in their Like count.

    • November 5, 2014 Alison

      Yes, exactly!

  • November 6, 2014 KAREN MICHAELS

    this is such a great list! and, I guess I feel so dumb! I don’t have my email address visible…I didn’t know I should do that! thanks for that little piece of knowledge, I am going back and adding mine right now!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

    • November 6, 2014 Alison

      It’s not dumb! Sometimes, it’ just an honest omission. ๐Ÿ™‚ Glad to be of help.

  • November 6, 2014 Mirjam

    (By now, I am afraid that you will respond to every comment that I am leaving. Please donยดt! I am just trying to catch up bit by bit. I donยดt want to take up anytime from you that you could be spending hugging your babyยดs.)

    Oh yes, the link ups. You spend all the time you can visiting and commenting on all the other linkers, and then two people visit your post.. Been there way too often. Linking up is still fun though.
    Mirjam recently wrote…Misty.My Profile

    • November 6, 2014 Alison

      I’ll reply, slowly ๐Ÿ™‚ Thank you for reading all my posts, Mirjam!

  • November 6, 2014 Rebecca

    I love your pet peeve list! I am so bothered by the automated messages and generic comments! I didn’t realize it was a pet peeve of mine but now that you’ve said it, it’s on my list! The self promotion thing is a shame. The blogging world is a community and it works when we all support each other honestly, and not push everyone else so you can get ahead. Add that one to the list as well lol
    Rebecca recently wrote…How To Piss Off Your ToddlerMy Profile

    • November 7, 2014 Alison

      Yes, that’s a good one!

  • November 9, 2014 Ella

    Going to add my e-mail address to my blog right now. *Hangs head in shame*. My blog is super brand new so I’m still trying to get it together but I will definitely be adding my e-mail address. I don’t even know why I didn’t think about it before hand. Thanks for posting this!

    • November 13, 2014 Alison

      Hey, you’re new, that’s totally okay! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • November 13, 2014 Rabia

    You prompted me to go back and answer an email I had put off. I have a bad habit of putting it off until I get to my computer because I don’t like replying on my phone. I will work on a better management system so that I can be more prompt with my replies.
    Rabia recently wrote…Cranberry Chicken {Recipe}My Profile

    • November 13, 2014 Alison

      I’m glad I helped! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • November 13, 2014 BritishMumUsa

    New to blogging and have reached out and made a small community for myself. I love it. What i dislike is when I take the time to read your blog and then leave a detailed thoughtful comment i either get no reponse or… Thanks for stopping by. Seriously? I read your blog. I took time to detail a response and you don’t want to converse on it. Now the first thing I do is see if they respond to a comment. Then I read and comment.

    • November 13, 2014 Alison

      I totally understand that. I also do understand that some of the bigger blogs who get hundreds of comments are unable to get to all of them, but at least a return visit once in a while? Or reach out via Twitter to engage perhaps? There are so many ways to build engagement and community, and it does make me sad that some bloggers (not the big ones) who don’t do that.

      Thanks for stopping by! ๐Ÿ™‚

      • November 13, 2014 BritishMumUSA

        I see your point, and agree to a point. The big blogs, could stop by and say hi once in a while to their comments. They got big because we took the time. The little ones, it makes me sad. I like to interact, and chat and start a conversation.
        BritishMumUSA recently wrote…Where do you Blog?My Profile

        • November 13, 2014 Alison

          Yes, they could. Some do (like Jill from Scary Mommy!), and that’s awesome.

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