In My Bed

posted in: Babies, Motherhood, NaBloPoMo, Twins 78 comments

They’re in my bed. I said it wouldn’t happen again, but it has. It’s just so much easier than getting in and out every hour or so, those eight steps from my bed to their crib feeling like I have lead in my feet, eyes struggling to stay open. Especially because their father is out of town for business, what’s a gal to do with a king-sized bed?

Why wouldn’t I want my babies in my bed? My first child kept me up all night for 18 months. I don’t know how I survived that time. The moment he slept in his own bed in his own room, we both slept through the night for what felt like the first time in forever (for me anyway). My second son thought 4.00 am was the start of the day. With two kids and little sleep, life was looking bleak. Co-sleeping with #2 just wasn’t working. Again. And off he went, back to his crib. Voila, sleep came back.

So the twins are in my bed. They don’t always wake up at the same time for a feed. I’ve tried to sync them – wake one when the other is up. Do you know how hard it is to stick a boob into a sleepy baby’s mouth? By the time it happens, the first one has finished and fallen asleep. The second one is just starting. And the second one is pissed off because I woke him/ her up. 

I am allowing natural rhythm to happen. Sometimes, the stars align and they are synced, oh happy days (or rather, nights). Most nights, it’s a rhythm of sleep an hour, wake up to feed one for half an hour, sleep 30 minutes, wake up to feed the other, sleep an hour. Repeat. 

Trudging from bed to crib to nursing chair adds too many minutes. 

A big bed is a lonely place when you’re just one.

And so they’re in my bed. 


Alison Lee is a former PR and marketing professional turned work-at-home mother. After a 10-year career in various PR agencies, and of the world’s biggest sports brands, Alison traded in product launches and world travel, for sippy cups, diapers, and breastfeeding. Alison's writing has been featured on Mamalode, On Parenting at The Washington Post, The Huffington Post, Everyday Family, Scary Mommy, and She is one of 35 essayists in the anthology, My Other Ex: Women’s True Stories of Leaving and Losing Friends. In 2012, she founded Little Love Media, a social media consultancy specializing in blog book tours, and because she doesn’t sleep, is an editor at BonBon Break, an online magazine. Alison lives in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia with her husband and four children (two boys and boy/ girl twins).

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  • November 4, 2014 Sisters From Another Mister

    You know all of those wonderful moments you want to remember from each day … well, you need a little sleep to actually enjoy them πŸ˜‰
    Sisters From Another Mister recently wrote…Personal grooming of a personal kindMy Profile

    • November 10, 2014 Alison

      Hah! Indeed. Indeed.

  • November 4, 2014 Kir

    They belong there…for now. Or forever. (Hey Jacob is still in my bed.)

    It’s the pictures that keep taking me back, those first few months of small babies and tiny feet and sleepy days. You’re an incredible mama. (oh the pictures and oh my heart)

    Kir recently wrote…Why I’m Not Participating in NaBloPoMoMy Profile

    • November 10, 2014 Alison

      I’m glad to be part of bringing back some happy memories for you, my dear Goose. xoxo

  • November 4, 2014 Julia

    They look so happy in your bed. Do whatever works for you.
    Julia recently wrote…So You Are Going To Host Thanksgiving DinnerMy Profile

    • November 10, 2014 Alison

      They are! And I will.

  • November 4, 2014 Janine Huldie

    Omg, they are just too cute for words and can see why you would want them in your bed. On a side note, my first also kept us up all night for the first 18 months, still not sure how I had my second when my first was 16 months, but we just do what we have to where our kids are and babies are concerned πŸ™‚
    Janine Huldie recently wrote…Christmas Cookie Swap Linky PartyMy Profile

    • November 10, 2014 Alison

      How did we survive all that sleep deprivation?!

  • November 4, 2014 angela

    My goodness, mama, you do what you need to do πŸ™‚

    They won’t be there forever, and stealing even a few extra minutes each night can make the difference in the morning.
    angela recently wrote…Let’s banish the dinner prep microphoneMy Profile

    • November 10, 2014 Alison

      Oh yes, it does help! Especially this month when I need all the energy I can summon to write daily. πŸ™‚

  • November 4, 2014 Jennie Goutet

    It’s when I see photos like this that I can truly appreciate how remarkable it is to have twins.

    And they honestly look super comfortable in your bed!
    Jennie Goutet recently wrote…Fondation Louis VuittonMy Profile

    • November 10, 2014 Alison

      When I look at the two of them, I still marvel at the fact that we have twins. TWINS.

  • November 4, 2014 Shannon

    I love, love, love the pictures of your twins.
    Wishing you rest, in whatever way you can get it.
    Shannon recently wrote…HomecomingMy Profile

    • November 10, 2014 Alison

      Thank you, Shannon. Truly.

  • November 4, 2014 Susi

    They are so cute. How can you not want them in your bed to snuggle with? I was never able to co-sleep with my kids. I was just too scared of something happening and when they were little each of them slept in a bassinet right next to my side of the bed. I imagine the logistics are quite different with twins… Hope you will get some sleep again soon!
    Susi recently wrote…An egret and a sunset… {Wordless Wednesday}My Profile

    • November 10, 2014 Alison

      The logistics is just like with one – multiply by two, lol.

  • November 4, 2014 Kerstin

    I want a king-sized bed πŸ™‚ My kids never co-slept and it was partly because they slept way better alone and partly because I slept way better without feet in my face/ribs/anywhere… Do whatever works for you, because sleep! xo
    Kerstin recently wrote…Experience2014 – October Round-UpMy Profile

    • November 10, 2014 Alison

      I sleep better without someone’s appendage/ limb on any part of my body either, haha!
      Also, put that on your bucket (not fucket) list – king sized bed.

  • November 4, 2014 Kari

    My oldest was in my bed until she was…..gasp…..four.
    My youngest was for the first two weeks.
    Now, at ages 6 and 14, I JUMP at the chance to have them in bed with me.
    Kari recently wrote…The Things I KeepMy Profile

    • November 10, 2014 Alison

      Snuggles when they’re older, is extra special, isn’t it?

  • November 4, 2014 K

    I’ve learned as a parent to never say never and to never apologize for doing what works for me. Babies in your bed? Awesome. Babies in their own bed? Awesome.
    K recently wrote…Dinosaur museum with friendsMy Profile

    • November 10, 2014 Alison

      You’re absolutely right!

  • November 4, 2014 Leighann

    we co-slept with our daughter too, it made it so much easier.
    Leighann recently wrote…Better than ChristmasMy Profile

    • November 10, 2014 Alison

      It is a lot easier. And rather nice.

  • November 5, 2014 Greta

    SO SWEET. I’d do the same thing if I were solo parenting with bitty babies. And when I wasn’t, mine were always in a bassinet right next to the bed for the first few months (and ended up in my bed when I fell asleep feeding them in the middle of the night). You do what you have to do!

    • November 10, 2014 Alison

      Yes, they start out in their own beds, and it’s definitely easier when they just stay in the bed during middle of the night feeds!

  • November 5, 2014 Jennifer

    I love them.
    Jennifer recently wrote…Fancy FoodMy Profile

    • November 10, 2014 Alison

      Thank you, they love their Internet aunties too!

  • November 5, 2014 christine

    Oh, how can you not want them in your bed!? They are adorable and beautiful and perfection all in one…or two. πŸ˜‰ That’s what king beds are for, right?
    christine recently wrote…On Complicated Grief and Love and a Little BoyMy Profile

    • November 10, 2014 Alison

      Oh I do want them! Until they don’t want to be. πŸ™‚

  • November 5, 2014 Elaine A.

    Awww. NO way could I kick those little snuggle bugs out. I still have a 7-year old who comes to sleep with me so I have NO room to talk (or sleep – LOL)!

    • November 10, 2014 Alison

      Aw, 7? So sweet!

  • November 5, 2014 Sara

    Mine spent so very many nights in my bed. You do what you need to in order to make it through these long early days – and nights – and enjoy those sweet babies.

    • November 10, 2014 Alison

      Oh yes I will, thank you Sara!

  • November 5, 2014 NJ

    They’ve got the rest of their lives to sleep in their own space!
    NJ recently wrote…November 2014 Smart GoalsMy Profile

    • November 10, 2014 Alison

      Hah, yes they do!

  • November 5, 2014 Kimberly

    So there was a half eaten sucker in my bed…so there’s that.
    Not as cute.
    Definitely a tragedy.
    I mean, who just leaves a half eaten sucker…wait….husband!!!! You’re such an assssshhhhoooo….
    Kimberly recently wrote…No TherapistMy Profile

    • November 10, 2014 Alison

      Bloody husbands!!!

  • November 5, 2014 Lisa

    I am exhausted just thinking about it! I said I wouldn’t co-sleep either, but did at some point or another with all of mine, too. Sometimes it’s just about survival and you have to do what works.
    Lisa recently wrote…If I Could Turn Back Time . . . .My Profile

    • November 10, 2014 Alison

      Survival – that is the right word indeed. πŸ™‚

  • November 5, 2014 Leigh Ann

    We slept with the twins for a few months. For the same reasons. They had mild reflux and just weren’t sleeping well in their crib. Before you know it this will be a blip on the timeline. πŸ™‚

    When they were maybe 3-4 months, I stopped trying to sync them at night, and only synced during the day. I’d feed them whenever they each woke up, and then they would both eat first thing in the AM, since they usually woke up at the same time. I think. Sometimes that meant I was up every hour with one or the other, but I just can’t stand to wake a sleeping baby.

    • November 10, 2014 Alison

      That’s exactly how it is with us – just one after the other, short breaks in between. I can sync one or two feeds during the day, but that’s it. I’m sure it’d all be a blur soon!

  • November 5, 2014 Susanna Leonard Hill

    They’re in your bed and look how happy they are πŸ™‚ Right where they want to be! And yes, those 8 steps are too much even with ONE baby to nurse never mind two – you need your rest. Take it where you can get it πŸ™‚
    Susanna Leonard Hill recently wrote…The 2014 Halloweensie Contest Finalists – VOTE For Your Favorite!!!My Profile

    • November 10, 2014 Alison

      They do love being with their Mama. πŸ™‚

  • November 5, 2014 Natalie

    Awww they are too cute! Praying for longer stretches soon!

    • November 10, 2014 Alison

      Thank you Natalie, I sure need the prayers for extra sleep. πŸ™‚

  • November 5, 2014 Keely

    Holy moly. The cute. The CUTE. (Of COURSE they’re in your bed.)
    Keely recently wrote…Nora’s Best-Ever Birthday a.k.a. Thanks, Wishcraft Workshop!My Profile

    • November 10, 2014 Alison

      I think so although I AM SUPREMELY BIASED.

  • November 5, 2014 Tamara

    Oh dear, that photo. My heart can’t bear it and my body is telling me I need to have twin babies.
    Scarlet was never in my bed. Des was often in my bed. Now it’s the reverse that they’re not babies. Scarlet is a snuggly co-sleeper on occasion. Des… no.
    Tamara recently wrote…This is Halloween, Everybody Make a Scene.My Profile

    • November 10, 2014 Alison

      Oh go on, have more babies!!!!!

  • November 5, 2014 Emily

    It wasn’t so long ago they were in your belly! I loved sleeping with both of my girls when they were newborns. Eliza is already in her crib full-time and I miss all that snuggling. Your babies are so cute and fuzzy! Lovely photo
    Emily recently wrote…On IntuitionMy Profile

    • November 10, 2014 Alison

      It certainly didn’t seem that long ago, does it? And thank you. Hope you and your girls are well!

  • November 5, 2014 Chris Carter

    aw!!!!! SO PRECIOUS!!!! Let nature takes its course my dear. Embrace those night time moments and your sweet bed with your babes. I totally get it. I did the same thing!!!
    Chris Carter recently wrote…Clash of the Couples is HERE!!My Profile

    • November 10, 2014 Alison

      I will, Chris, and thank you!

  • November 5, 2014 Allie

    The first and last rule of having twins? DO WHAT WORKS FOR YOU!
    The boys spent the first three months in a co-sleeper and it worked perfectly for all the reasons you mentioned.
    Allie recently wrote…My Love/Hate Relationship with AppleMy Profile

    • November 10, 2014 Alison

      Yes, THANK YOU. That’s the philosophy I’m embracing now.

  • November 5, 2014 Kim

    When the boys were babies, they started out in their own beds and then came in our bed once they woke. It was just so much easier than the up and down. They ate, and we went back to sleep. The half and half worked for us. I guess it is always a trial and error somewhat, to figure out what works for each of us.
    Kim recently wrote…Confessions of a Car SingerMy Profile

    • November 10, 2014 Alison

      Yes, we’re now on half and half most nights, and it works for us. πŸ™‚

  • November 5, 2014 Bev

    They are so so sweet together! You do what you gotta do and what allows you as much sleep as possible. It’s amazing to me how far away those frequent night feeds seem, despite Eve having been born just under a year (!!) ago.
    Bev recently wrote…{Vlog No. 1} What a crafter’s studio space really looks likeMy Profile

    • November 10, 2014 Alison

      Is Eve almost one?? OMIGOSH.

  • November 6, 2014 Mirjam

    I cannot tell you how many times my youngest has slept in my bed..
    And I am not a fan of co sleeping.
    Mostly it was because with three kids I was way too tired to bring her back anyway.
    What works, works right? That’s the thing about being an experienced mother, you know that it is not about rules and regulations, it is about what works for you.
    Mirjam recently wrote…Misty.My Profile

    • November 10, 2014 Alison

      Yes, this being child #3 and #4 has certainly given me a perspective I wouldn’t otherwise have – just do what needs to be done so everyone gets some sleep!

  • November 6, 2014 Janice

    Whatever gets you more sleep, because if you’re not rested enough, it’s not good for anybody! PLUS, they DO look like they belong there anyway! πŸ˜‰
    Janice recently wrote…Photography :: Three AmigosMy Profile

    • November 10, 2014 Alison

      I personally do think they’re where they should be πŸ™‚

  • November 6, 2014 Robbie

    sweet and cuddly and it looks like they are sharing a secret. Out of 3 kids I had 2 co-sleepers. My daughter ALWAYS wanted her own space.

    • November 10, 2014 Alison

      Hah, I like that part about sharing secrets. I know that will definitely happen in the future.

  • November 6, 2014 alexandra

    At one time, we had five in the bed. It was the only way we could all sleep. And believe me, without sleep, mama is not a happy person.

    • November 10, 2014 Alison

      I wonder if anyone of us could sleep if we fit all 6 of us into one bed….. there’s enough space for sure. πŸ™‚

  • November 6, 2014 Rebecca

    They are so perfect! I don’t know why I always assumed twins were constantly synced…damn, now that I know better, you need a massage! That’s so exhausting, you sleep with those damn twins in their soft swaddles! I love those specific swaddles you’re using. Softer each wash! Dylan still requests his “deka” every night, they’re his favorite

    • November 10, 2014 Alison

      Aden & Anais is a preferred brand in this household!

  • Whatever works! The babies are precious!
    Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes recently wrote…On griefMy Profile

    • November 10, 2014 Alison

      Yes, indeed! And thank you.

  • November 8, 2014 Jin Ai

    Congrats Alison on your two lovely, adorable twins! Been catching up here on your birth story (after a long blogging absence) and wow… I’m amazed at how fast it happened and glad everything is now well. Your four are so blessed to have you!
    Jin Ai recently wrote…TrustMy Profile

    • November 11, 2014 Alison

      It was a quick birth! And thank you.

  • November 8, 2014 Arnebya

    I let Z in my bed the other night after a nightmare. It was glorious, the closeness, the snuggling, the soft strokes of my face as he fell to sleep. Not so much after a while when his knees were in my lower back, but still. I wouldn’t change a thing.
    Arnebya recently wrote…Why Homework at Every Level Can Kiss My Entire AssMy Profile

    • November 11, 2014 Alison

      Aw, that’s sweet. Especially so since he IS your baby.

  • November 20, 2014 Andrea

    OH they are sweet. And snuggly. And cuddly. I’m just gonna focus on that instead of all the sleep they’re stealing. xoxo
    Andrea recently wrote…Trying to Hang OnMy Profile

    • November 20, 2014 Alison

      Me too. Or I’d be a raging insane woman. πŸ™‚

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