20 Blog Posts I Will Never Write

posted in: Blogging, Humor, NaBloPoMo 76 comments

This post was inspired by Alexandra’s Titles of Posts I Will Never Be Able To Write A Body For.

Cupcakes Are Bad For You

10 Glitter Crafts You’ll Love!

5 Favorite Artichoke Recipes

50 Ways I Love 50 Shades of Gray

I Know It All, Trust Me

How To Move From Blogger To WordPress

How To Move From WordPress To Blogger

HTML 101: So Easy

How To Sew Anything

Paleo Is The Way To Go

I Gave Up Sugar, Here’s Why

Five Children, Why Not?

I’m Giving Up Social Media Forever

5 Ways To Jazz Up Your Wardrobe

10 Reasons I Love Leggings

How I Wrangled My Way Into A Reality Show

Gummy Bears: A Rant

Our Epic Voyage … To Find The Best Non-Drip Water Bottle

A Vlog: I’m Dancing!

I’m Blogging Daily For A Year! 

NaBloPoMo_November

What blog post will you never write?

Alison
Alison Lee is a former PR and marketing professional turned work-at-home mother. After a 10-year career in various PR agencies, and of the world’s biggest sports brands, Alison traded in product launches and world travel, for sippy cups, diapers, and breastfeeding. Alison's writing has been featured on Mamalode, On Parenting at The Washington Post, The Huffington Post, Everyday Family, Scary Mommy, and DrGreene.com. She is one of 35 essayists in the anthology, My Other Ex: Women’s True Stories of Leaving and Losing Friends. In 2012, she founded Little Love Media, a social media consultancy specializing in blog book tours, and because she doesn’t sleep, is an editor at BonBon Break, an online magazine. Alison lives in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia with her husband and four children (two boys and boy/ girl twins).
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  • November 24, 2014 Maureen

    Hahaha you are hilarious! The last one? I can’t even imagine blogging for 30 days πŸ˜€
    Maureen recently wrote…I Mustache You Some QuestionsMy Profile

    • November 26, 2014 Alison

      I couldn’t either. Still can’t believe I decided to do NaBloPoMo. (almost at the end, thank goodness!)

  • November 24, 2014 Janine Huldie

    Yup, never writing that I cupcakes are bad for you either, but the migrating from Wordpress to Blogger or vice versa, I could and have written πŸ˜‰
    Janine Huldie recently wrote…For the Next Birthday – Four Years Later with Lily…My Profile

    • November 26, 2014 Alison

      I know! I’m leaving these bloggy tech posts for the experts like you. πŸ™‚

  • November 24, 2014 Kari

    These are AWESOME.
    Once I read a quote on Pinterest about how glitter is the herpes of the crafting world.
    I think that pretty much says it.
    Kari recently wrote…What I Wish People Would Write On FacebookMy Profile

    • November 26, 2014 Alison

      Bahahahaha! I’d say that’s accurate.

  • November 24, 2014 Andrea

    These are great. I love e the HTML 101 one. It is most certainly Not easy.

    • November 26, 2014 Alison

      It isn’t, is it? I can’t figure it out. Too many letters and numbers and whatnot.

  • November 24, 2014 sarah reinhart

    ruh-roh. what’s wrong with leggings? I live in them. LIVE in them. I think I have maybe 20 something pairs. Leggings, tunic tops, boots. It’s my uniform. Do you think less of me??? πŸ™‚

    • November 26, 2014 Alison

      I do not because I LURVE you. But I can’t wear leggings, they are just very unflattering on me.

  • November 24, 2014 tracy

    Ha! Love this!
    tracy recently wrote…How To Take A Selfie With Your CatMy Profile

    • November 26, 2014 Alison

      Thank you! Love you!

  • November 24, 2014 Leigh Ann

    gummi bears: a rant. Ha! Awesome non-posts.
    Leigh Ann recently wrote…an office space with uncommon goodsMy Profile

    • November 26, 2014 Alison

      Heh. Thanks! It was fun to write.

  • November 24, 2014 AwesomelyOZ

    Ha I tried to give up sugar and it’s failed – I LOVE desserts and I can’t live without it. I HAVE cut back on added sugar like adding it to my coffee and cutting back on sodas and drinking water or natural juice. I think that’s helped me feel a bit better so I count that as a success. I wouldn’t write how to go from Blogger to Wordpress or vice versa either; I’m not an authority on that. Lol I almost pulled my hair out doing it! Funny topic love and have a great one Alison! -Iva
    AwesomelyOZ recently wrote…A Stroll through the Breakers EstateMy Profile

    • November 26, 2014 Alison

      I don’t take sugar in tea or coffee either. But like you, I love my desserts and sweet treats too much!

  • November 24, 2014 Sarah

    These are hilarious! Let’s see… a post I could never write, how about “Balancing Full-Time Work and Motherhood while Keeping a Clean House – If I Can Do It, So Can YOU!”
    Sarah recently wrote…Preschool Journal: Babies, sharks, and crayons on the beachMy Profile

    • November 26, 2014 Alison

      Omigosh, I think someone MAY have written that post already! (Not me, most certainly not me)

  • November 24, 2014 Echo

    All of these are spot on! I think I could right almost all of those!
    Echo recently wrote…A Charming Gift!My Profile

    • November 24, 2014 Echo

      *write

      I shouldn’t comment before my second cup of coffee.
      Echo recently wrote…A Charming Gift!My Profile

    • November 26, 2014 Alison

      Sisters from another mister! (and totally understand the not-enough-coffee-typo)

  • November 24, 2014 Lindsey

    Laughing out loud. So good.

    • November 26, 2014 Alison

      Heh. Thank you, Lindsey.

  • November 24, 2014 Elaine A.

    Ha ha! you forgot “Cashews Are SO Delicious!” ;-p

    These are awesome… I may come up with a list too…

    • November 26, 2014 Alison

      Hah! Yeah, I should (not) write “I LOVE NUTS!”

  • November 24, 2014 Rudri Bhatt Patel

    Love this! Blogging. Every. Day. Could not do it. Thanks for the chuckles this morning, Alison.
    Rudri Bhatt Patel recently wrote…Books of a LifetimeMy Profile

    • November 26, 2014 Alison

      Having done it for 25 days now, I can tell you that I will never, ever do it again.

  • November 24, 2014 Julia

    A dancing vlog, that’s something I think you should reconsider, jk lol.
    Julia recently wrote…Toddler Gift GuideMy Profile

    • November 26, 2014 Alison

      HAH!! NO. WAY. πŸ™‚

  • November 24, 2014 Susi

    Sounds like posts I would never write either. Give up sugar? Oh no no no…
    Susi recently wrote…Ipsy Glam Bags – October/November 2014My Profile

    • November 26, 2014 Alison

      Right? I’ve cut down, but I can’t give up my beloved cupcakes and such.

  • November 25, 2014 Greta

    Ha! I would be worried if I saw any of these from you. But I’d blame it on sleep deprivation. πŸ˜‰ (I am learning to love the fleece-lined legging this winter, though!)
    Greta recently wrote…Getting the Behavior I WantMy Profile

    • November 26, 2014 Alison

      If I lived in a cold country, I MAY embrace leggings. MAYBE. They are just not flattering on me.

  • November 25, 2014 Bev

    Haha, this is great! I was laughing out loud by the end.
    Bev recently wrote…I have some holiday surprises up my sleeve!My Profile

    • November 26, 2014 Alison

      I love making people laugh. Thank you for saying that. πŸ™‚

  • November 25, 2014 Tove Stakkestad

    I seriously just laughed… I’m so there with you on the dietary blogs!- and dancing! Ha ha ha!
    Kudos to you for writing daily for a month! That takes gusto!
    Tove Stakkestad recently wrote…Ten Organizing Shortcuts: Live Clutter-Free for Good!My Profile

    • November 26, 2014 Alison

      Gusto, and a slightly unsound mind. πŸ™‚

  • November 25, 2014 Clare

    Ha, I love this list, hilarious and I really think you absolutely should write about 10 reasons I love leggings!!! I would never write very personal posts, no spilling on my blog.
    Clare recently wrote…My Childhood BooksMy Profile

    • November 26, 2014 Alison

      I don’t wear leggings because they make me look short and stumpy. So a post like that would be full of lies, lol.

  • November 25, 2014 Amber

    Haha, same here on a lot of those. Especially the glitter one. I feel like we always have glitter around the house.
    Amber recently wrote…Things I Won’t Be Doing On ThanksgivingMy Profile

    • November 26, 2014 Alison

      I have a little girl now, and though it’d be years before she does any crafting, I’m pretty sure there will be glitter. Oh god.

  • November 25, 2014 Allie

    OMG these are hilarious and I would agree to most of them! One post I will never write: Running Is Bad For Your Knees!
    Allie recently wrote…The Rundown: RebuildingMy Profile

    • November 26, 2014 Alison

      But some of these are health posts that you would write, maybe? No?
      I take it back, you wouldn’t, no. You’re one of the most well-balanced fitness/ running bloggers I know. You work out hard, and you enjoy your food. πŸ™‚

  • November 25, 2014 Christine

    haha. These are great! Although I pretty sure I could write the leggings one πŸ™‚
    Christine recently wrote…Philadelphia Half Marathon RecapMy Profile

    • November 26, 2014 Alison

      That’s because you look GOOD in them. πŸ™‚

  • November 25, 2014 Tamara

    what a cool idea! I just might use it one day!
    Mine would probably be, “Why I have a whole drawer full of white socks.”

    Or “How I gave up chocolate for a year.”
    Tamara recently wrote…The Heart of the Matter.My Profile

    • November 26, 2014 Alison

      You should totally write this one! I can’t imagine YOU in white socks. Heh.

  • November 25, 2014 Jen

    Oh my gosh these are too funny! I don’t know which is my favorite! Probably the vlog look I’m dancing one πŸ™‚
    Jen recently wrote…Hosting A Frozen Palooza For Under $40My Profile

    • November 26, 2014 Alison

      Hah, thanks Jen!

  • November 25, 2014 Courtney

    No vlogs for me. Ever ever.
    Courtney recently wrote…Rookie Small Business and InvestorsMy Profile

    • November 26, 2014 Alison

      Never say never? I said that too, and I ended doing some, though not for a long time now.

  • November 25, 2014 Alexandra Rosas

    These made me laugh!!!!

    • November 26, 2014 Alison

      I’m glad, A!

  • November 25, 2014 Robbie

    What a hoot! I saw this on Alexandra’s blog and thought about following her inspiration as well. I do love leggings though. I have loved them my entire life…ask anyone who knows me.
    Robbie recently wrote…Reasons I SkippedMy Profile

    • November 26, 2014 Alison

      You should totally write yours! I’ve never ever worn leggings, they just don’t work for me.

  • November 25, 2014 Tonya

    You crack me up! I’m like you, there is a lot of things I will never write about. My sex life Is #1 on that list! I, to have grown so tired of the XX ways to…

    • November 26, 2014 Alison

      Oh god I would NOT go there either!

  • November 25, 2014 K. Renae P.

    I loved this. Too funny! I made my own list. Like Chicago said, “You’re the Inspiration”.

    • November 26, 2014 Alison

      I’m glad you did! It was fun to read.

  • November 25, 2014 Jennie Goutet

    These really had me giggling; I know you so well. πŸ™‚
    Jennie Goutet recently wrote…Forty-Five Is When I Love MyselfMy Profile

    • November 26, 2014 Alison

      I love that you know me well. πŸ™‚

  • November 26, 2014 Lisa

    Ha! I don’t think I will be writing any of those either!! I will never write a post titled “Why I’m Giving up Chocolate Forever!” πŸ™‚
    Lisa recently wrote…Right Now, I ‘m Thankful for . . . .My Profile

    • November 26, 2014 Alison

      I think there will be lots of those non-posts about chocolate, heh. #WeLoveChocolate

  • November 26, 2014 TeachingTravel

    Witty, very witty.

    Imagine writing everyday, geez.
    TeachingTravel recently wrote…Is a TEFL or CELTA worth it?My Profile

    • November 26, 2014 Alison

      Thank you. And I have been posting daily on the blog this month – NEVER AGAIN!

  • November 26, 2014 Nina

    Gummy Bears: A Rant LOL!
    Nina recently wrote…November Friendship AdviceMy Profile

    • November 26, 2014 Alison

      Heh. πŸ™‚

  • November 27, 2014 Brandy

    Oh my goodness! I love this. I also will not be writing about how to sew anything or about giving up sugar or social media. Lol
    Brandy recently wrote…Dare2Give: Give BackMy Profile

    • November 27, 2014 Alison

      Heh. Glad you liked it Brandy!

  • December 9, 2014 Rabia

    LOL! Great list! Except I love artichokes! When my husband and I were dating, I made them for dinner for him, but didn’t explain anything. He had never eater one and just stared at it for the longest time. I laughed when he finally got the nerve to ask about it!
    Rabia recently wrote…Animal Trackers Club {Review}My Profile

    • December 9, 2014 Alison

      Hah! I really tried to like them. But, I don’t. πŸ™‚

  • Too funny!!
    Glitter crafts… *shudder*
    I would never read an article titled ‘Cupcakes are bad for you’ anyway

    • December 10, 2014 Alison

      Only the fitness nuts would love a post like that πŸ™‚

  • December 20, 2014 Ellie

    If I ever wrote about Fifty Shades of Grey, it would be about how inaccurate it is with the BDSM community, promotes women being subsmissive in everyway of life, and how rape is okay because it’s during “roleplay”. Also how being an asshole is what women want and if you’re hot, everything is okay. And that women will forever be sixteen even in their twenties. This is the type of book I’d burn and books are my life.
    Ellie recently wrote…December Challenge//Winter Break GoalsMy Profile

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