“The most beautiful moments always seemed to accelerate and slip beyond one’s grasp just when you want to hold onto them for as long as possible.”
– E.A. Bucchianeri, Brushstrokes of a Gadfly
You think that when you write a blog, have numerous social media outlets in which to express yourself, you’d record down every moment in words and pictures, because time is an asshole and it makes this whoosh sound as it flies by.
Truth: you live in those moments long enough to capture them in your heart, but your (almost) 38 year old brain can’t remember them afterwards. Then you think, well, I better write them down now, blog every moment, because isn’t that the point?
Then you get distracted by the idea of coffee with a bite of chocolate, and your 2 year old spots you scoffing down your secret stash of chocolates, and all hell breaks loose. You then think, well, I better write THIS down – my 2 year old has good eyes, and he can’t be fooled! And I better find a new hiding place for my treats.
So you sit down to write something, then your 4 year old tells you he has to go to the bathroom NOW, RightThisSecond, despite the fact you asked him a dozen times if he had to the past 30 minutes. You get up, make sure he pees in the bowl and doesn’t try to touch the pee water with his hands, and that he flushes. Also, wash hands thoroughly, my boy.
You get back to your laptop to write that down too, because there will come a time when all your kids are old enough to go to the bathroom on their own WITHOUT touching allthethings (because time, asshole).
Then you spot your kids hugging, OMG, must take a picture and post it on Instagram, because all the cuteness! You run and grab your phone, and fuck, why are your fingers so fat, why is it not going to the camera function, oh there it is, and boom, the moment is lost, because you spent too much time trying to figure out your smart(er than you) phone. So you not only missed most of the hug live, you missed taking a picture of it.
You troop back to your laptop dejectedly, sit down and drink your now-getting-cold-coffee. The 4 year old starts drawing on his new easel, and OMG, he drew the sun! You run over to cheer him on, phone in hand, making sure you know where the camera function button is, and voila, he erases it and starts writing numbers. Okay, you can still capture this, because, awesome.
Then you think, damn I’m a douche, I should VIDEO this for his father! Then you of course, fail to press the record button (fat fingers, asshat phone), and he rubs it all off again, and decides to go do something decidedly less exciting.
As you make your way back to your laptop, you realize that really, you should sit down and watch the kids do their thing, even as a spectator, because not a helicopter mom, hell no, but you shouldn’t be a always-on-a-device-mom.
Then you think, damn I’m going to miss when they’re 4 and 2, and do your best to remember all this anyway.
Is your phone an asshole too?