Yes, we’re expecting boy/ girl twins, and couldn’t be happier! (For the record, I’m 3 for 3 on ‘guessing’ all my kids’ sexes before confirmation – I’m never right about things usually)
I’m now 18 weeks along, and the twins are growing right on track, and they’re the exact same size. We do have our little lady’s name decided upon, but after two boys, we’ve run out of boy names we both like that a) goes with our clunky surname, b) Arabic enough without being ‘too Arabic’ (OMG), c) easy to pronounce and spell, and d) an awesome name. So that’s still under discussion. I have a name I’ve been campaigning for since child #1, but have never won this debate because we did have other names that we liked a lot. At the moment, we’re unoriginally referring to them as ‘the twins’, going against experts’ advice on clumping these two individuals together from the start. Ah well. Anyone have good nicknames to suggest?
I have distinct feelings about having a daughter. I feel like I’m being an asshat to my twin boy. Because as much as I am excited about the two of them, that we’re going to have another little boy, because I love my boys and I know how to mother a boy, I am over-the-moon-thrilled to be expecting a girl. A daughter. I’m going to have a DAUGHTER. I have never felt like I missed out on a girl when we only had our two boys, and thought we were done having kids. However, now that we know we are going to have a girl, I cannot wait. I want to go out and buy little girl clothes, and research mother-daughter things to do when she’s older. I wonder who she’ll look like. What her eyes will be like. Her lips. Her personality. Will she be a spitfire? A soft, sweet child? Will she need to find her place among her brothers?
I know I will fall in love with my littlest boy too. I already love him, so very much. I know he will have two big brothers to rough and tumble with. I know his father is looking forward to his third boy. I know he will forever be enmeshed with his sister, and that is truly a blessing. To be a twin.
Still, I feel like an asshat. I feel like I need to celebrate both equally. Because both of my youngest children fit into our family puzzle just right, in their own ways. Maybe we mothers just find reasons to feel guilty about everything.
Perhaps that is the asshattery of it all.