I want to talk about my boobs today.
(Come back, don’t run away, I promise not to show you a picture of my boobs.)
They’re mine again. I got them back. The 22-month old toddler has finally weaned.
I had been trying for four long months to wean him. I figured, 18 months is a pretty decent amount of time. I weaned my first at 18 months, gradually over a week, and it was painless and fuss-free.
There is nothing like trying to wean a breast milk addict to remind you that your children, no matter how similar they look or act, ARE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT from each other.
I tried cutting down feeds. I rubbed freshly sliced ginger onto my boobs. I dipped them in vinegar. I ate spicy food. I told him no. Each was an epic fail. He still climbed up onto my lap, said, “Milk”, pulled my shirt up and my bra down, and helped himself.
I felt like a vending machine.
I knew it was a crutch. He didn’t need breast milk. But he needed to nurse when he was upset or sad. He nursed to help him fall asleep (though he could easily sleep without). He nursed because he liked it. It was like a hobby.
Last week, I was away from the boys for about 24 hours. It was a great opportunity to cut the little one off of my boobs forever. He had gone without nursing for 24 hours, and hadn’t once asked anyone where I was. Great. AWESOME.
12 hours after that, he woke up in the morning, and demanded his usual morning feed. I said no. Sorry buddy, no more milk. It’s all gone. Finished.
There were big tears, and a lot of dramatics on the floor. I had to resist just stuffing a boob in his mouth just so he would stop screaming at 6 in the morning. After 5 minutes, I managed to distract him with a gummy bear. What?
For two days, he asked and was told no. For two days, he wept and wailed like his world had ended.
Then just like that, he stopped crying when I told him no. He nodded wisely, as if he knew what I would say, then run off to do whatever toddlers do.
Four days after we stopped cold turkey, he stopped asking altogether.
Jubilant does not begin to describe how I feel about getting my boobs back.
If you breastfed, how long did it take you to wean your baby?