Such has been my attitude to almost everything lately – benign neglect. (My definition) An attitude of “it can take care of itself, or if it cannot, it doesn’t really matter right now”.
My boys, at 4 and nearly 2, have become fast friends. There is less pushing, shoving and snatching, and more sharing, caring, hand holding, conniving, ganging up together on me, and general getting along-ness happening on that front. Because they entertain each other, I don’t need to anymore. I am now merely the snack fetcher, the water bottle filler, the crumb cleaner upper. I sit on my comfy corner (be it on my chair in my writing nook or on the couch – these days, most likely lolling around on the latter) and watch, thinking briefly, maybe I should break out some crafts or sit down and play cars with them. I banish such thoughts quickly, because why disrupt something that’s working? They’re playing together. They’re concocting games together. They’re mischievous, up to no good, and getting creative. Who am I to get in the way? Benign neglect.
The house is still clean, because I cannot stand it otherwise. On the surface, it’s all shiny, but in the cracks and crevices, there is dust and possibly sticky substances left by children. I would not need to clean up if a friend visits, and I’ll leave my books askew as they are, the million toy cars we own scattered around, and gasp, the dish drying rack will probably be full (but at least there are no dirty dishes). Benign neglect.
The laundry gets done and put away. But there’s a week’s worth of ironing untouched. There are a couple of hundred of new photos I’ve taken of the boys and everything else, but they’re not organized in any way. There are toys to be sorted through for either throwing away (because cars are useless without wheels) or to be donated, but they’re still there, in the toy box. Benign neglect.
And this blog. This blog. I write when I can, but lately, inspiration has dried up. Instead of panicking that I don’t have a post ready, I say, meh, and click away. I pull out a good book instead. When I do write and publish, I barely remember to promote it. I don’t take my own advice as a social media consultant. I reply to comments a week late, and I have many, many unread blog posts in my Feedly reader. I think briefly about my blog friends and hope that they understand. Also, I won’t be inserting a picture into this post to break up the text. Benign neglect.
I can say that life matters more than the blog blah blah blah. Truth be told, my blog is part of my life, but one that just needs to take a backseat for now, while I sit in my corner with my book, watching my boys make cars fly through the air.
I’m totally okay with that.