Many years ago, my husband and I watched documentaries about the Universe, how it came to be, how big it all is, and the one thing that stayed with me was how tiny I felt, like I am merely a speck in this existence.
It struck me that life is truly short, if you think about it in a macro sense – how things and people have existed and died over thousands of years, and that our time here on Earth, is but a blink.
Now that I am a mother, I have a complex relationship with time. There are parts of parenting that are hard, and I admit, I wish that they would pass, and pass quickly. But there are so many things about it that I love, and wish I could just stop time and hold that moment forever.
When I watched this video (below) by Jason Silva for the first time, I had tears rolling down my face, and I found myself exhaling when it finished. I didn’t even know I was holding my breath, or that I was crying. I have watched this many times now. A dozen times, at least. The effect is the same. Breath-holding, tears-rolling.
Our lives are short, in transience, impermanent. We all know this. Is this why we are always desperate to dig through our family histories? To beg our grandparents for stories about their youth? Is it because we want to know that things DO go on, that the ones who went before us felt that too, and are leaving us a thread to hold onto, for us to then pass it on to our children?
Is this why we have words, pictures, video to memorialize moments, to freeze something in time, that we can read/ look at/ watch over and over? I think this is why I feel such a great urge to write, to photograph, to blog. I want to do my part to defy this impermanence. I want future generations to know what and who came before them. I want to never, ever forget, or let go. I want to live life to the fullest. All the parts – the good, the bad, the ugly. Because this is our life, short and impermanent as it is, physically.
How do you feel about the impermanence of our existence?
If you’re up to reading something a little less deep, but equally thought-provoking, I have a post about potty training struggles at Everyday Family. Check it out? Thank you.