Blogging, Social Media and Negativity

posted in: Blogging, Social Media 137 comments

This week, I’m feeling drowned in negativity. I want to turn off my laptop and dive into a book. But I can’t – social media is my business, blogging is my love.

The blogging world is in uproar over a dad blogger’s post about stay-at-home mothers (he’s for it). Counter and rebuttal posts emerged and were syndicated everywhere. Friends shared them on their Facebook pages, and dissected this man’s intentions, and some called him some unsavory names. Some people even criticized the people who shared his post, saying how stupid and clueless these women are, don’t they know that this idiot is just writing this crap to get page views (I wonder if they thought about how they made people who did share that post feel).

I did not participate.

Then, the Martha Stewart faux-pas happened (“bloggers are not experts”). It did not take long for the first blog posts to emerge, telling Martha where to stuff it. I was similarly shocked at her statements, and yes, I felt defensive. I do consider myself pretty good at social media (hence, my business), and whenever I post a recipe, I am sufficiently confident that it does taste good, because I have tried it. I said so on a friend’s Facebook page, and left it at that. Everywhere I looked, I read comments saying what an asshat Martha is, she’s a felon, yada yada.

I am not writing an open letter to Martha Stewart.
(A good respectful one has already been written.)

I do think that bloggers are entitled to their opinions, whether I agree with them or not. Bloggers have a right to respond to what they see around them, speak up when they’re hurt and insulted, take a stand and say their piece. I applaud their convictions.

I just wish they did not all come from a place of negativity. It’s sucking the joy out of my social space. For the rest of this week, I just want to read happy things. Call me deluded, stupid, unreasonable – just not in my face or my social media. 

Rainbows and unicorns for me for the rest of the week! 

Positivity quote by Mahatma Gandhi

Did you read, write or find something happy and positive this week? Share it with me in the comments!

Have a toddler and don’t want to spend money on toys? 8 moms share their DIY toys with me at Everyday Family!

And, want to know how to create a successful linky party? I share 10 tips on how to do that at The SITS Girls!

Alison Lee is a former PR and marketing professional turned work-at-home mother. After a 10-year career in various PR agencies, and of the world’s biggest sports brands, Alison traded in product launches and world travel, for sippy cups, diapers, and breastfeeding. Alison's writing has been featured on Mamalode, On Parenting at The Washington Post, The Huffington Post, Everyday Family, Scary Mommy, and She is one of 35 essayists in the anthology, My Other Ex: Women’s True Stories of Leaving and Losing Friends. In 2012, she founded Little Love Media, a social media consultancy specializing in blog book tours, and because she doesn’t sleep, is an editor at BonBon Break, an online magazine. Alison lives in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia with her husband and four children (two boys and boy/ girl twins).

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  • October 17, 2013 Kim Tracy Prince

    Thumbs up on this one. I agree that people should take a stand without being mean. Also, your site is very pretty.
    Kim Tracy Prince recently wrote…Martha Stewart Is Kind of RightMy Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      Thank you, and thank you!

  • October 17, 2013 Runnermom-jen

    That Gandhi was such a smart man. Love that quote of his. I might live under a rock, because I haven’t seen any of these things around the internet…maybe that’s a good thing.
    Rainbows and unicorns unite!!! Let’s be so happy, we pee glitter!
    Runnermom-jen recently wrote…Summer Favorites Photo Dump and a Little Rambling…My Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      Oh yes, it is a good thing!!

  • October 17, 2013 Kerstin

    Yes, yes and yes. To every single thing you said.
    I know I sound like a broken record (or do people nowadays say broken cd?) – but at the end of the day it comes down to being respectful and kind. Show some respect for other people’s opinions and give them the benefit of the doubt, even if you can’t stand it. It’s not like we don’t have a choice – we can always move on and read something else, so let’s not give those people power to ruin our happy parades πŸ™‚
    I know where I’m going this week – to your blog and to your Facebook page! xo
    Kerstin recently wrote…Talking TeenagerMy Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      Aw, thanks Kerstin! There is enough ugly, heartache and stupid shit out there. So I want to do my part to keep unicorns alive. More rainbows! More glitter! And definitely more respect.

  • October 17, 2013 tracy

    Exactly – I saw some pretty ugly posts out there. I need more funny. And unicorns.
    tracy recently wrote…Kellogg’s #LoveYourCereal Kit GiveawayMy Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      I’m so glad to have you in my world, because I can rely on you for the funny. And unicorns. xo

  • October 17, 2013 Gal

    I haven’t read anything particularly happy, but we watched the Lorax (2012) over the weekend and it’s fantastic!! πŸ™‚ good for kids too πŸ™‚

    I relate – sometimes the name calling on the web goes a bit too far. I just ignore most of these (although my job is not in social media, so it’s easy to do). Hope next week will be better? πŸ™‚

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      I sure hope so! Have a great weekend, Gal!

  • October 17, 2013 Ashley

    It’s always something. Someone always said something wrong, someone always attacks, and the vicious circle goes round and round. My biggest problem with a lot of it is how much it hurts bloggers’ reputations as a whole and demonstrates the unprofessionalism that bloggers are so often accused of possessing.

    But, no matter the outcome, the cycle continues. And I’m with you- sometimes, enough negativity is enough. Especially with that first subject and those like it. Let’s hear something else, something better, and something genuine.
    Ashley recently wrote…Easy & Delicious Mini Chicken Pot PiesMy Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      Right?? And the same bloggers complain about being viewed as unprofessional. I am SO TIRED of it. People should just do their own thing and mind their own business. Sigh.

  • October 17, 2013 Kristen

    Oh yes, I could really use some rainbows and unicorns this week! Sometimes, the negativity I see hurts. Every time I see it, I start to sing the War song “Why Can’t We Be Friends?” in my head. Weird, but it makes me happy.
    Kristen recently wrote…Midweek RandomnessMy Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      Not weird when it makes you happy! May we all have a unicorny week ahead!

  • October 17, 2013 Amy

    Sounds like I picked the right week to be tuned out of social media. Eesh. I’ll just stay over here in my corner, riding my unicorn, until the weekend.
    Amy recently wrote…Disease-free at lastMy Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      I’m kinda envious of you!

  • October 17, 2013 Nina

    How out of it am I that I didn’t even know about either one!?
    Nina recently wrote…A New Baby to NameMy Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      Nina, I am so jealous that you didn’t know about these things. πŸ™‚

  • October 17, 2013 MomWithaDot

    I’m totally with you on this. Loved the positiveness quote, wondered that it seemed familiar, almost congratulated you for writing it and then read the author name – Duh!! lol
    MomWithaDot recently wrote…“Be careful what you wish for……..My Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      I am not that wise! lol

  • October 17, 2013 Ma Teresa Grech Racal

    I guess part of the “world” we live in, whether in the blogging world or the world itself, is that THERE WILL ALWAYS BE negative people who will suck out the positivity in other people. I guess the only thing we could do is just avoid them or just let them be, if that makes them happy so be it. There are more positive things and people around us. I agree with you as well, that whether a “blogger” shares his/her own piece cause we are individuals with different beliefs and all. Nice post again… πŸ™‚
    Ma Teresa Grech Racal recently wrote…The Sunshine Award: 11 Random FactsMy Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      Thank you. You’re right, there are all kinds, online and offline. We can’t control their behavior, but we can control our reactions. Here’s to more positivity!

  • October 17, 2013 Maureen

    Keeping the joy…I’m all about that now. There are so many negativity in and out of blogosphere already. I saw the dad blogger controversy because a friend posted a video of her less than 3 years old little girl reading outloud what her stay at home mom does all day.
    Being on different opinions are fine and I respect people’s different perspective even when it doesn’t agree with my own like how we are different on the Maria Kang’s picture thing but hey, I still love cake(s) and chocolates πŸ˜€
    Maureen recently wrote…In Those Little MomentsMy Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      Respect – that is the key thing. And people forget that frequently. You and I are a good example of how we can disagree, have a civil discussion, and still remain friends. πŸ™‚

  • October 17, 2013 Taynia

    Yay for this. I so often find myself discouraged due to the negativity I read in social media. It’s easy to criticize when you’re protected by a screen. Bring on the butterflies and flamingos.
    Taynia recently wrote…5 Influential People – It’s PersonalMy Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      Technology seems to have blunted our filters and manners, hasn’t it? Sigh.

  • October 17, 2013 Amelia

    Sometimes we just need a break from the Internet in general. We clog our minds with too much news, gossip and negativity. I think you should still try and read your book, I am way overdue to read a book too!

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      You’re right, stepping away is sometimes the best solution to regroup.

  • October 17, 2013 Lady Jennie

    I love that quote!! I think I’ve read it before, but it really hits me today.

    Bloggers are experts enough for celebrities, companies, foundations and charities to want to reach them and use them. We may not be able to perform heart surgery, but in our own field of expertise, our voice does matter.

    And so does yours. I don’t have a cheerful post to send you today because I’ve been offline a lot this week, but here’s a big hug instead – from someone who loves to read your words.
    Lady Jennie recently wrote…Sunshine After the StormMy Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      Loving the hug, thank you!

  • October 17, 2013 Katie Sluiter

    I swear the interwebs have been crabbier than usual lately. Just before coming here I saw a pile of outrage over a baby carrier. As Jill (from Baby Rabies) said, the comments made me roll my eyes into my head. To be honest, I feel like people need to get a damn life. There I said it.

    I love that you always back the positive. Always. It’s why I love coming to this space. I am sure I am not alone in that opinion.
    Katie Sluiter recently wrote…noiseMy Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      OMG, seriously? People really need a life (I agree with you!). And fight over something that’s more important. And thank you, I love having my rainbow/ unicorn advocate friends in this little (but glittery) space!

  • October 17, 2013 Herchel S

    I read lilblueboo’s choose joy story this week and it reminded me that I can take control of my life and choose to be positive. It also forced me to reconsider my blogs and realize that I didn’t always have to give advice or tips and that I write for myself first and foremost.
    Herchel S recently wrote…Disney Day trips: What I Pack in my Rucksack! Fall/winter with preschooler and kindergartnerMy Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      That’s the best attitude to have!

  • October 17, 2013 Tamara

    Rainbows and unicorns for me too then. I actually missed both of these things! I guess I’ve been hiding under a log this week, but it’s a happy log.
    Tamara recently wrote…5, 4, 3, 2, 1…Blastoff.My Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      Can I join you under that log?

  • October 17, 2013 Kir

    you always say it well. Always.
    More happy, more unicorns.
    Kir recently wrote…For When I Wish I Had all the AnswersMy Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      Thank you. Yay for unicorns and happy!

  • October 17, 2013 Catherine

    It is perfectly fine to disagree with anyone on the internet, but what is not fine, is being mean about it. How can adults teach kids not to bully another, when that is what they are doing with some of their horrible negativity?
    Catherine recently wrote…Assisted suicide should be a choiceMy Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      Yes, exactly!

  • October 17, 2013 Kim

    I am all for happy and unicorns. I think we tend to see the negative on the web more than the positive – in the same way the negative headlines grab all the attention.We have to search harder for the good, glittery stuff. I wish we didn’t have to do that all the time. I think there are ways to say what is on our minds without all the negativity. Also, I really love that quote – so much.
    Kim recently wrote…Five Favourite Blogs – Old School BloggingMy Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      There should be a way, shouldn’t there?

  • Yes, my Mother gets to go back to work soon!!!! She works at NASA and she’s 66 so it’s a big deal. πŸ™‚
    @PamelaMKramer – A Renaissance Woman recently wrote…Pretty in PinkMy Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      That’s awesome!

  • October 17, 2013 vanita

    i absolutely ignore this kind of negativity. wanna pet my unicorn? she’s here everyday. πŸ˜€
    vanita recently wrote…Are you hurting your blog traffic when sharing on Google Plus?My Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      Hah! Yes please. πŸ™‚

  • October 17, 2013 Adrienne

    I agree wholeheartedly, Alison. Sometimes you just have to move on to something more fruitful for your heart and mind!
    Adrienne recently wrote…I’m back! (but not really…)My Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison


  • October 17, 2013 Amy

    Yikes. I’d heard about Martha, but I hadn’t heard about the other post. The blog world is interesting because sometimes I feel like everyone is writing posts that are so inspirational and I’m just in blog lovey dovey land. And then other times I read things that I disagree with, or I see posts that are just off (or responses to posts that are off), and I get frustrated.

    I just read this blog post today, and it really spoke to me. Maybe you will enjoy it too!
    Amy recently wrote…Louisiana Chickpea GravyMy Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      There are all sorts out there in the blog world! Just like in real life. Thank you for sharing the post, I’ll have a read.

  • October 17, 2013 Nicole

    I’m all about the rainbows and unicorns, sprinkled with a healthy dose of wit and sarcasm! Life is WAY too short to spend it berating others. What a miserable existence! I’d rather lift others up!
    Nicole recently wrote…T Minus 5 Weeks and Freaking OutMy Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      Right? Me too, Nicole. Me too.

  • October 17, 2013 Ilene

    I have not read the dad blogger’s post – but I read a few really angry rebuttals. I just didn’t feel like getting into it any deeper so decided to stop investigating. And maybe some bloggers aren’t experts but others are! A lot of bloggers blog to support their businesses which are certainly their areas of expertise. And I would hope that as discriminating adults reading these blogs, we get to decide which expert advice to follow and which advice is not really that “expert” after all. Well stated, Alison.
    Ilene recently wrote…What If I Told YouMy Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      Don’t go down the rabbit hole of the back and forth with that dad blogger SAHM post and all the rebuttals! And thank you. πŸ™‚

  • October 17, 2013 Leigh Ann

    This always reminds me of Alex’s (Late Enough) post about the weekly internet moral outrage cycle. I may have my opinions about Martha’s interview (which I didn’t seen until the open letters started rolling out) and Matt’s attitude, but I keep them between friends. I just don’t see the point of the open letters and taking your outrage to your blog unless it’s something truly important. I did enjoy Lyz’s post because she did make good points. I enjoyed Kristin Howerton’s essay in response to the Mrs. Hall post because she made very good and informative points on kids and sexuality. But when everyone else feels the need to write about it, and it just gets old quick.
    Leigh Ann recently wrote…This is how you know you found the oneMy Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      Yes, I hear ya, Leigh Ann! I think everyone is entitled to their opinion, and when they make good points like Lyz and Kristen did, then that’s awesome. What really got me writing this post was when I saw comments on a friend’s status update on the Matt Walsh thing – and they were actually going after the people who shared the post. Maybe it was a little sensitive on my part, because I shared it, as you know. I just thought it was uncalled for to imply that people who shared it were idiots. That’s when it crossed the line for me.

  • October 17, 2013 Shannon

    Sometimes we all just need to take a deep breath and pause before letting our fingers touch the keyboard or allowing words to roll off of our tongues. I think Gandhi would approve of that, as a rule. The highlight of my week, which I intend on posting about tomorrow, was seeing a little boy in the store go completely crazy (in an adorably happy way) over the bacon his mother was putting in the cart. Sometimes, we all just need to breath. And smell the bacon.
    Shannon recently wrote…Shots of Happiness – Three Kids and a DogMy Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      I loved your post, Shannon! Thank you for the sunshine.

  • October 17, 2013 Greta

    If it’s not one thing, it’s the next. I try not to get involved, because then I have to hear what everybody has to say. And you know, I’m no expert, so I stick to what I know. πŸ˜‰
    Greta recently wrote…The California Coast #iPPPMy Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      Hah! Right? I don’t ever like to get involved ever. Though I did take issue (just within myself, maybe a little in this post) when I saw a comment implying that people who shared the Matt Walsh post, were idiots. That just crossed the line for me.

  • October 17, 2013 Jessica

    What goes around comes around, right? So why not spread the positive so that it comes back to you. Or at least that’s what I think. But then again, I’m just a blogger.
    Jessica recently wrote…Essence of Now: The Graffiti ArtistMy Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      That’s what I think, Jess!

  • October 17, 2013 Jenny

    Hi Allison, As a relative newbie in this blogging world, I am AMAZED at the things people will say/write in a social framework online vs. what they would have the bravery to say in person. Didn’t their mamas teach them if they don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all? I know many people dislike Martha already, but I always really admired her. I often thought if she were a man she would be revered for her business savvy. I do think it is more difficult for a woman to find the right balance between being assertive vs. being seen as a witch (with a b) in certain situations, but what she said does make her look out of touch and insensitive. It’s hard for Martha to inspire woman when she’s criticizing them for putting themselves out there. Isn’t that what she originally did so well? Give credibility to everyday things and raise the creativity bar? I hope it was just a slip of the tongue and not necessarily intentional. I know I have said plenty of things I regret saying. I hope some rainbows and unicorns made their way to your neck of the woods!
    Jenny recently wrote…Blinking, Marbles, Mud & GirlfriendsMy Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      Thank you for your thoughtful comment, Jenny. I agree with you – my basic principle for acting online is this: I will never say to someone online, what I won’t or can’t tell them in person. And thank you! I did have a lovely weekend!

  • October 17, 2013 Shana Norris

    Wow – I’m out of the loop, apparently. I didn’t know about either of these. Life is too short to get mired in all the negativity and hatefulness. I choose rainbows and unicorns, too, Alison.
    Shana Norris recently wrote…What We Eat :: Pumpkin Bars with Cream Cheese FrostingMy Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      It’s a good thing you didn’t see either of these things, Shana. Life is brighter without all this crap anyway. πŸ™‚

  • October 17, 2013 Elaine A.

    I tend to shy away from the controversial stuff lately. I just can’t take it. I only saw a tweet about the Martha Stewart thing yesterday and I just laughed. And I didn’t even know who that Matt guy was. I just thought he was standing up for his wife and all the hard work she does at home with 2 little babies. I may be somewhat naive but I think that is okay.

    And yes, Down with the negativity! Ghandi was so wise…

    Oh and I posted about my kids (as you know) and us enjoying family time (even if we did sweat) and that’s the kind of stuff I like to read too. πŸ™‚

    Elaine A. recently wrote…Fall-ish FunMy Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      I felt the same way about the Matt Walsh thing too. People just get their panties in a twist over the stupidest things.

      I love reading your blog – it’s always a happy place. xo

  • October 18, 2013 My Inner Chick

    Cant wait to comment and read this entire post when I get home from work.

    Xxx LOVE.
    My Inner Chick recently wrote…Barbie, Miley, Malala, & Believing In Your Authentic SelfMy Profile

  • October 18, 2013 Stasha

    I am sending you some virtual pink cupcakes with purple frosting and unicorns with rainbow saddles. They are not Martha tested so they might not be expert approved but they are from my stay at home mommy heart πŸ˜‰
    Stasha recently wrote…Lost dogMy Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      Those are the best kind! xo

  • October 18, 2013 Laura

    Looking for the positive is always a healthy thing to do. Because if you look for the negative, you will always find it. I get outraged over people getting outraged about people being outraged about something. It is a vicious circle. I’ve promised myself not to participate (though there have been a few poignant posts I’ve decided to share by people I love, even if I am trying hard not to participate in these conversations.)
    Laura recently wrote…Home for the HolidaysMy Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      I think sharing something that touched you in some way is okay. It’s the name calling I just can’t take. Sigh.

  • October 18, 2013 Jennifer

    Hear, hear! I’m finding this more and more. I’m also finding that it bleeds out into other areas of life. I find myself asking more and more often, “what happened to grace?” “what happened to kindness?” I’m searching, but it seems like they are getting harder and harder to find.
    Jennifer recently wrote…Advise This, Real Life Advice – FrenemiesMy Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      It is, isn’t it? Sigh.

  • October 18, 2013 Christopher D Drew

    This is a great point. I have been feeling a bit heavy of late with negativity as well. Stay positive!
    Christopher D Drew recently wrote…Amore Earth’s Own- ReviewMy Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      Yes, stay positive indeed!

  • October 18, 2013 Angela Youngblood

    I needed to read this right now. Feeling a little overwhlemed with the negative, angry stuff out there too. We hear stories of the kids and online bullying, but the adults aren’t much better. Ugh. But then there are posts like yours and comments on your posts that are reaffirming and it all seems a little better. Thank you for the positivity.
    Angela Youngblood recently wrote…Smiling At ChipmunksMy Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      Thank you, Angela! Yay for positivity!

  • October 18, 2013 Keely

    Rainbows forever! Something nice I read…? My friend Alison wrote this heartfelt and lovely piece… πŸ˜‰
    Keely recently wrote…Bloggers Are Not Experts. (Except When They Are.)My Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      Aw, YOU ARE SO NICE! xo

  • October 18, 2013 Jin Ai

    Negativity is the last thing I need right now. My latest post was about the hard stuff happening (remembering what you said about writing it!) and hard as it was, there was that silver lining.
    Jin Ai recently wrote…Regroup, Recoup, RecoverMy Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      It was a good post! Loved it.

  • October 18, 2013 FitBritt

    It seems like we tumble from one controversy to the next these days. I like your idea to focus on the positive. Besides spending a lot of time with family recently, there is nothing particularly great or positive that I’ve seen or read but I am going to keep my eye out now!
    FitBritt recently wrote…A Little California Sunshine in Palm SpringsMy Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      Spending time with family IS a positive thing!!

  • October 18, 2013 Natalie

    I must be living under a rock b/c I just saw the Martha Stewart thing today..that’s the way with blogging…it does sometimes become a place to rant (I am guilty of this as well) b/c it’s an outlet for people…and then take it a step too far. Unicorns and rainbows my friend…unicorns and rainbows πŸ™‚

    (As my 1 year proceeds to throw all the trains on the floor and scream at me..I am thinking rainbows!) πŸ™‚
    Natalie recently wrote…Don’t Stop BelievingMy Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      Sometimes, positivity is the only way to get through the hard days!

  • Alison, I could not agree more!

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      Thank you, Tinne!

  • October 18, 2013 Dana

    Sucking the joy out of out my social space – exactly, Alison. Rainbows and unicorns are extremely underrated. When I feel too much negativity, I go straight to the humor bloggers. That helps every time.
    Dana recently wrote…Squirrels suck, but the blog award doesn’tMy Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      Thank goodness for the funny gals.

  • October 18, 2013 Susanna Leonard Hill

    Here, here, Alison! I’m with you on the let’s not be negative score! And I love that Gandhi quote!
    Susanna Leonard Hill recently wrote…Would You Read It Wednesday #109 – Iris The Rainbow Girl (PB) PLUS The September Pitch WinnerMy Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      Listen to Gandhi, he’s wise. πŸ™‚

  • October 18, 2013 Brian Sorrell

    All the reactionary snark is probably exactly what sets Martha Stewart’s teeth on edge, as well it should. To me it always feels like shouted feelings of powerlessness and dissatisfaction. Bit in the bigger picture, there are little kids waiting for us to be happy with them, kick a ball back and forth, press sand into buckets and build castles and tell tales til the tide washes them away, make cheeseburgers and ice cream cones and ride bikes to the park. For my part, I’ll continue cooking up positive, celebratory posts, and let the snarkers scrap for the viral reactionary flavour of the day.
    Brian Sorrell recently wrote…Clouds & DreamsMy Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      I can’t tell you how much I love this comment, Brian. Yes, yes, and yes. Thank you.

  • October 18, 2013 Andrea

    I’m all for all things positive. My default is to be really cynical and critical and complain-y, so I work really hard at balancing that side of me, because I am aware that not everyone needs to experience it all the time. Like you, I search out the positive, because it’s better for my brain and my outlook.
    Andrea recently wrote…SuperMy Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      I don’t think you’re critical or complainy at all!

  • October 18, 2013 Tonya

    Love that quote, hate the negativity. You nailed it with this one!!
    Tonya recently wrote…My First Time AroundMy Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      Thank you, Tonya!

  • October 18, 2013 My Inner Chick

    OMGosh, Seriously,

    I’ve read several posts, opinions, & beliefs, which I disagree with, but I would NEeeeeVER be mean, nasty, judgmental, or a bitch about it.

    One single word pretty much covers this: ((( R E S P E C T )))

    Have you heard of this, you icky yucky sucky people?

    Unless, of course, you are spreading hate, violence, or you’re a member of the KKK…..Then I might need to speak my mind!

    Xxx KISS for you, my sweet Alison Lee.
    My Inner Chick recently wrote…Barbie, Miley, Malala, & Believing In Your Authentic SelfMy Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      YES, respect! Absolutely! You nailed it as always. xo

  • October 18, 2013 Leslie

    Wow. I”m so glad I’ve got my head in the sand at my job most of the time. I hadn’t even heard about these posts. I do have to wonder why Martha would say something so short sighted. Bloggers have promoted her image and brand so many times over the years. Not to mention all the blogging-related events she hosts. It’s just not productive. Hopefully you have plenty of wonderful moments to come for the rest of the week.
    Leslie recently wrote…{Weigh In Wednesday} Week 42My Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      I wish I had no idea either!
      And thank you, I did have a good rest-of-the-week.

  • October 18, 2013 Robin

    I’ve read barely anything this week because I’ve been doing my Kindergarten homework. And working. And folding laundry. And you know what? I’m happy for not being exposed to all this crap. πŸ™‚
    Robin recently wrote…On High Standards and Hating MyselfMy Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      Lucky you. Can’t believe I’m saying this but I kinda wish I had kindergarten stuff to keep me busy.
      Wait, kindergarten homework?!

  • October 18, 2013 Jennifer Hall

    One thing that made me stop and go Hmmm in the midst of all this back and forth he said and I think this about that stuff is that the dad blogger in question was accused of writing what he did just for pageviews. But then I thought, couldn’t you say the same thing about those who wrote responses? Couldn’t you say they just wanted to ride his pageveiw wave?

    Or is that a chicken and egg kind of question?

    Anyway, I too was feeling the negativity, so I hear you.
    Jennifer Hall recently wrote…The View From Here: That Gut FeelingMy Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      Y’know, Jennifer, I have to say I thought the same thing, and I think some bloggers genuinely had to say something, regardless of page views. But I do feel many did it to get a rise out of people, and yes, page views.

  • October 18, 2013 Tenns

    I try to keep my blog as positive of a place as possible. It is in fact my happy place, the place I go to as an outlet. When life gets negative I tend to turn to my blog or social media to escape it. Yes, every blue moon I might post a rant, but its never to the point of being riddled with negativity. I’m a huge proponent of being objective. Its a huge goal of mines and extremely important to keep my as positive and objective place as possible. I, like you, do wish more would follow suite and not let their emotions get ahead of the.
    Tenns recently wrote…Ultimate Southern Style Cheddar Cheese GritsMy Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      As much as possible, I do want my space here to be positive. Although sometimes, when I get honest, it gets a little ugly here. But it’s not anyone’s negative, just mine to work through.

  • October 18, 2013 Susi

    Alison, leave it to you to be the voice of reason. I don’t like all this negativity either and I generally try to stay out of these debates and keep my opinions to myself. I try to keep my own blog space happy and filled with things that make me smile and things I love. I happen to adore that quote and one of my favorite sayings is this: “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all!”
    Susi recently wrote…Yellow/Shine {Nurture Photography Challenge Fall}My Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      That is a good saying, Susi!

  • October 18, 2013 Charlotte

    First things first: HI ALISON!!!! I have REALLY missed you and it’s lovely to be back today πŸ™‚ hope all is well with you, little ms. sunshine (I like this rainbows and unicorns thing you have going on here).

    I feel like I’ve been so out of the loop lately, because I haven’t heard of either of these stories. But it did make me think of the mother of three boys who recently posted a meme about getting in shape post-baby and how everyone got up in arms about it and, like you said here–all of the comments just felt so fueled by anger and negativity.

    Also, Martha just needs to shut the hell up. Okay, I admit–that sounded angry and negative, but I don’t like when people make inflammatory statements about a group of people as a whole. Hmph. Will have to read up on this dad blogger’s comments…
    Charlotte recently wrote…Ireland recapMy Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      Oh yes, Maria Kang. I just didn’t even want to touch on that here. Women and body images is totally a minefield. Not. Going. There.

      As for Martha, I think she slipped up. I let it bother me for 5 minutes, then got over it.

  • October 18, 2013 Kimberly

    Oh sweet baby Jesus knitting a sweater with Martha Stewart….
    I did not hear about this at all and frankly, I don’t really want to find out.
    I agree that negativity sucks you under even when you’re in the best of moods. In the worst of them too, you need to surround yourself in uplifting reads.
    I wrote about turkey day.
    I made out with it like a boss. xo
    Kimberly recently wrote…Over TimeMy Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      Oh, you rock! xo

  • October 19, 2013 Amy

    Agreed. On the flip side, I get tired of reading blogs with everyone almost creating this false reality with how productive they are, how brilliant their kids are, how successful their careers are, etc. I often take a week off without touching reading much of anything on the Internet. But, I guess that’s how it works, right? Take the good with the bad? (I bet you just sang The Facts of Life song!). Have a good weekend!
    Amy recently wrote…Still Alice – Book ReviewMy Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      I know what you mean. Some people write the same posts over and over – about finding joy, loving on their children, etc etc. No flaws life. Um, really unreal. I don’t mind raw and honest, I do some of those too. Just not negative name calling BS.

  • October 19, 2013 Kim

    There’s a time and a place to rant and speak one’s mind. While I agree (and disagree) with many comments made by people and the posts that were written in response to both the dad blogger (I read it) and Martha Stewart’s remarks, I felt the name calling and criticisms were too harsh. When we did resort to such rude and childish behavior? It made me so annoyed to see others called idiots or other not so pleasant words simply for disagreeing with someone. Can’t we all just get along even if we do disagree?

    Now, who wants to sing Kumbaya with me? Anyone? Bueller?
    Kim recently wrote…Why I Refuse to Fight Writer’s BlockMy Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      I agree. I think it’s okay to voice an opinion, even a dissenting ones. But when people go into name calling territory, nope. Not my cup of tea,

      I’m Kumbaya-ing with you!

  • October 19, 2013 Deirdre

    I missed out on the first event. My feeds was filled with Martha reflections. What a week! I love the quote you selected.
    Deirdre recently wrote…Spider Letter Swat- Alphabet ActivityMy Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      It was a tremendous week!

  • October 19, 2013 Rorybore

    I saw all that negative stuff to and just decided to click away.
    Which is not to say I don’t have an opinion on such matters; whether it be “expert” or not; but rather I am continually stunned that anyone would think they could have a truly meaningful dialogue on the internet. I get the need to add your 2 cents worth, but many of the issues ARE important ones to consider, and I just fail to see how they can be discussed at length in the comment sections of a Facebook or blog post, or over Twitter. Why get in a war of words with some faceless person who you do not know? And those that leave a bashing, hurtful comment and run? They should know the internet is not quite so anonymous as one might think.
    So, yes – I tend to try to make my own spaces more positive. If I do have a rant — I’d hope it would end with some kind of hopeful or uplifting message: and not just be a Rant.
    Ultimately, the hopeful positive side of me wants to believe that we are looking for connections so that we can work towards solutions for such issues; but the pessimist in me suspects most would probably just rather b%tch about it.
    Rorybore recently wrote…Focus On Mom: Silly In LoveMy Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      I so agree with that last line. I think people do like to bitch more than discuss things intellectually. It’s easier and “more fun”. Which pains me, but I guess, if I don’t like it, I can just turn away from it. If only social media wasn’t so in your face!

  • October 20, 2013 nikkiana

    So with you on this. I feel like an alarming amount of the sharing I see on social media is negative. Someone’s always up in arms about something someone else said, and because they have the platform to run commentary on a strangers opinion and choices they do… I think I spent two or three hours this week reading different bloggers feelings about the whole Martha Stewart thing, time I could have spent on something more productive.
    nikkiana recently wrote…The DetourMy Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      Me too, Nikkiana, me too!

  • October 20, 2013 Stacey

    The negativity can be so overwhelming. I very rarely contribute my 2 cents worth when there is so much negativity because it seems to just multiply. I wrote my very first Just write piece this week about the joy of solitude Hopefully, it might lighten your space a bit!
    Stacey recently wrote…Packing school lunch: FavoritesMy Profile

    • October 20, 2013 Alison

      Thank you Stacey – I will most certainly check it out! Have a great weekend!

  • October 21, 2013 another jennifer

    I’ve been so busy with my business, family and volunteering that I haven’t had time to pay attention to the negative stuff. I heard about these stories but have stayed away. I agree that sometimes it’s better to just leave things alone. We’re only adding fuel to the fire when we get negative and defensive.
    another jennifer recently wrote…Philanthropy Friday: Simple Giving LabMy Profile

    • October 21, 2013 Alison

      I think people love the drama so they fuel the fire. Sigh.

  • October 22, 2013 Christine

    So I’m really glad that I was tucked away and secluded last week and that I didn’t read or see any of this. I saw some mentions about the Martha Stewart thing but didn’t read it. And there was also the bit with the mom of 3 and her “what’s your excuse” for not exercising bit. I too wish that all the reactions and commentary didn’t just come from a place of negativity and that rather we have civil and respectful conversations.
    Christine recently wrote…Yoga Teacher Training: Week-long IntensiveMy Profile

    • October 22, 2013 Alison

      I didn’t want to go down the Maria Kang road. Women + body image? Fuel to fire. πŸ™‚

  • October 22, 2013 Slap Dash Mom

    I love this post. I think it’s difficult to remain positive when you write 10 positive posts in a row and they get little to no interaction – then you write a negative one and it gets nearly 200 comments. Yes, that happened to me this week. My positive posts DO inspire.. I get it.. but they don’t give me feedback because people just smile and move on. However, when I write a negative post, I get tons of people agreeing and disagreeing with me and actually engaging. Their responses give me ideas for future posts, because I get to know them better. I think that we should work hard to be conscious of the negativity and even it all out – I don’t think it should all be rainbows and unicorns, but I don’t think it should all be negative, either.
    Slap Dash Mom recently wrote…Easy Spaghetti Casserole RecipeMy Profile

    • October 23, 2013 Alison

      A bloggy friend recently commented that when she wrote about something sad and tragic, her traffic spiked to a place it’d never been before. Then she wrote a more uplifting one, and…. crickets. People are drawn to sadness and negativity and drama. It’s natural (though in her case, it’s probably because more non-bloggers read her post because they related to her loss). So I understand where you’re coming from.

  • October 23, 2013 Gina Jacobs Thomas (

    Not sure how I missed this the last few days. Oh wait, I do. Because I took a break from the internet and blog reading for this exact same reason. Add the Maria Kang event in to the mix and I couldn’t stand all of the cynicism. Slowly making my way back, though, trying, like you, to sift through all of the noise to find what makes me happy. Thanks for putting things in perspective.
    Gina Jacobs Thomas ( recently wrote…Underbirds’ “Bright Leaf” on Kid Tune Tuesday…My Profile

    • October 23, 2013 Alison

      I didn’t want to touch the Maria Kang issue!
      Taking a break is a great idea. I love my Internet-free weekends!

  • October 27, 2013 Michelle

    I tend to ignore a lot of the controversial stuff I see. I’m not in this for a fight. Personally I think Martha’s comments were lame…because bloggers help sell her product. But for the most part when I see those things, I don’t comment (although I think I did somewhere on the Martha controversy)…I just stop reading that person, or I stop buying their product. Fueling the fire only gets them more of what they wanted in the first place…notoriety, or page views, or maybe its something else.
    Michelle recently wrote…Getting Spooky with our Halloween Bash {Ladies Only Blog Share}My Profile

    • October 27, 2013 Alison

      I think sometimes, people get hooked on the page views/ notoriety side of things. Sigh.

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Alison Profile PictureI'm Alison. Writer, a mother of four (two boys and boy/ girl twins), social media enthusiast and book lover. A believer in the power of chocolate and hugs. Chugging coffee as I type. Want to know more?

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