Midnight: Ragtag family tumble into musty-smelling apartment. Children are far too hyper for this hour. Children are really, really happy to be home.
12.05 am: Open one bag and give up because, too tired. Children are still running rampant.
12.10 am: Pick self up off floor, grab clean PJs for kids and not bother with cleaning of either (sticky) child. Put clean PJs on children (who are eating Cheez-Its).
12.12 am: Strip oldest child’s bed and change sheets.
12.15 am: Palm oldest off to husband to put to bed. Drink a load of water. Smallest still running around like a ball of energy.
12.20 am: Get into bathroom while husband handles the toddler. Cannot find facial products as they’re in suitcase somewhere, so make do with soap and water.
12.22 am: Have to
drag dead legs walk to living room to get clean nursing bra. Note to self: either buy more nursing bras or wean the child.
12.23 am: Shower, finally.
12.24 am: Stupid drain in shower is clogged. Thoughts of long hot shower shelved. Unless willing to risk flood in bathroom.
12.25 am: Dry off, change.
Crawl Walk slowly to bedroom. Nurse toddler. Sleep.
12.25 – 6.59 am: Wake up at least twice to nurse toddler. Really need to wean this child. And sleep train. Again.
7.00 am: Wake up, still tired. Why is the sun up already? Toddler stirs. Try not to move. Toddler wakes up anyway. Lie in bed thinking that it’s good to be home.
7.05 am: Get up. Stick child into crib with books, while I shower. He’s not happy.
7.10 am: Littlest and I go into living room. See unpacked bags. Sigh loudly. Start putting random things away.
7.12 am: Toddler has made a mess in the kitchen. Clean up.
7.15 am: Resume putting things away. Find dirty clothes in random places in all four unpacked bags.
7.18 am: Do first load of laundry.
7.20 am: Give toddler breakfast.
7.25 am: Unpack my bag. Realize I left a pair of jeans in Australia. Fuck.
7.35 am: Open the kids’ bag. Close kids’ bag.
7.36 am: Open husband’s bag. Find my laptop. Search for 10 freaking minutes everywhere for laptop charger, to no avail.
7.48 am: Oldest wakes up. Give him some food. The kids play. The great thing about vacation is that when they come home, all their toys seem new to them. Watch them for a few minutes, enjoying the sight of them playing together happily and noisily.
8.00 am: Husband wakes up. Husband makes coffee. I am grateful.
8.01 am: Check email and Facebook. Ignore shit lying around everywhere. Children still playing together. Vacation has brought them closer. How awesome is that?
8.45 am: Change kids. Still ignoring unpacked bags. Throw first load of washed clean clothes into dryer.
8.50 am: Take kids to their grandparents place. Watch their grandmother scoop them up with joy.
8.55 am: Head off to breakfast with the husband, marveling at the fact that we are just-the-two-of-us for the first time in nearly two weeks. Feel no guilt.
9.10 am: Leisurely breakfast (OMG!).
9.45 am: Stroll into grocery store to pick up a few things.
10.15 am: Get home. It’s quiet. And unpacked bags are calling. Suddenly productive. I’m sure it has nothing to do with the 3 cups of coffee I’ve already consumed.
10.18 am: Strip bed and crib. Second load of laundry. Change sheets. Fold first load of laundry. Unpack all the bags. Put allthethings away.
11.20 am: Put second load of laundry into dryer. Start third (and final) load of laundry. Look at clothes to be ironed. Contemplate ironing for about 2 seconds. Shelf stupid ironing idea.
11.25 am: SIT DOWN. Do some quick work catch up. Fart around on Facebook. Write this post.
What’s the first thing you do when you get home from vacation? Unpack? Clean? Do laundry? Nothing?