Sometimes, I fantasize about being the Master of the Universe. Because if I was, these would be my Universal Laws, for the good of mankind (and our sanity).
Totally Reasonable Universal Laws
Mothers cannot get sick when the children are.
We should not get any pimples after the age of 15.
Toast should never burn.
Showers must last longer than 5 minutes, baths, at least 20 minutes.
Legos will not injure feet.
Children will sleep as soon as their heads hit the pillows.
Couches will self-clean.
Laundry will self-fold.
Clothes will never be wrinkled.
Ironing will be obsolete.
Cars will only break down when the person who knows how to describe the problem to the mechanic, is driving it.
Coffee machines should last forever, and not stop working the very morning we need that coffee.
We should never be stuck in a traffic snarl when we really need to pee.
Children should automatically know how to go to the bathroom the year they turn two.
Facebook will stop being an asshat.
Grocery stores should be quiet and empty when parents have the chance to go there by themselves.
The school pet should not die/ get sick when it’s your child’s turn to bring it home for the weekend.
The chocolate at the store should be on permanent sale.
Boobs will remain perky even after 3 years of breastfeeding two children.
Allergies should not exist.
Schools should remain safe for the kids and teachers.
Drinking and driving should not be in one sentence.
Love is equal. Love is love. People should be able to marry who they love.
Gay and rights should not be a phrase, because it should be ‘human rights’.
What would you add to this list?