I have written about this in a different form, maybe more than once, over the last nearly-two years of blogging.
This crippling self-inflicted issue of low self-esteem, which grips me seasonally.
I’m not good enough.
Everyone else is better than me.
I should quit.
I should be good at this, why am I not good at this?
Why do I feel the need for validation?
I am all woe-is-me for a few days (okay, weeks), and I truly question myself. I doubt everything I do. I second-guess every decision I make. I want to curl up in a corner and eat chocolate. I berate myself endlessly. I talk myself into a tizzy of not-good-enough.
Then, I come crashing down in a pile. I lie there, and I just don’t want to face it, whatever it is.
Eventually, I raise my head. I push myself up. I reach out to a *trusted friend. I pour my heart out. I ask for advice (not for validation). I am asked some hard questions. I try to find answers. I am talked off the ledge.
Slowly, I come back to life. I find a renewed sense of purpose. I feel the energy coming back. My mind is buzzing again, with good vibes. There is light at the end of the tunnel. I feel a little more like myself.
I tiptoe gingerly around the things that brought me down in the first place. I look at them objectively. I talk to people. I approach it from another angle. I realize, it’s not that bad after all. I am not that bad after all.
Crisis in confidence – over.
Until we meet again in a few months.
* Thanks, Vanita, for being there for me, and lending me a listening ear.
How do you overcome any confidence issues? Do you have confidence issues?