Saying No

posted in: Blogging, Life 114 comments

Quote about saying no

Most of us, by nature, find it difficult to say no (yes, based on my very scientific method of personal experience and talking to a few friends).

I was of that variety – a Yes Girl. I would agree to clean up the equipment we used in chemistry class in school, wanting to be amicable and liked. I said yes to dinner parties with people I didn’t really know, while in university in a new country, in the guise of making new friends. I raised my hand for projects which ate into my study time, as part of a student committee for foreign students, to ‘pad my resume’ (and to be liked – see the pattern?). I got roped into extra activities at work at my last job because I didn’t want to be known as that girl who said no.

I wrote an average of one guest post a week in my first year of blogging, in part to boost traffic to my blog, and in part because I just couldn’t say no. I joined linky parties and participated in blog hops when I was asked by blog friends in the early days, because I didn’t want to come off as a snob by saying no.

I couldn’t say no because I wanted to be liked, accepted, looked up to, loved, be relied on, be trusted, be the go-to-girl. I couldn’t say no because I didn’t want to hurt feelings, cause a misunderstanding, disappoint, or make someone feel rejected.

Because I said yes when I wanted to say no, I was exhausted, tapped out, guilty and resentful.

Things had to change. I started saying no.

I said no to a baby shower invitation because in the 3 kid-free hours I managed to wrangle, I chose to go for a haircut instead.

I said no to doing product reviews on this blog because I realized I was faking it til I made it. To write as yourself while raving about a product, turned out to be really, really hard. Kudos to those of you who pull this off regularly. I just can’t do it. Although I have a review on a writing resource next week – that, I found useful, so I said yes. Exception made.

I said no to many guest posts from fellow bloggers because I was all out of good writing, and I always want to put my best foot forward. I was barely doing enough good writing on my own space, and selfish as it seems, I want to save my good writing for me.

Because I chose to say no when I meant no, I feel freer, I feel more like me, I feel in control. I don’t feel guilty, trapped, or stressed.

So please understand that when I say no, it doesn’t mean I love or like you any less, or that I don’t respect you. I’m just looking after my own sanity.

Do you have a hard time saying no?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In other news, my post about the 7 deadly sins on blogging is featured at BlogHer today! Pop over, share some sparkles and love, and spread the word, could you? Would you? Thank you!

Featured on BlogHer.com

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  • February 20, 2013 Poppy

    Yes! Life is too short to do what others want you to. I like to be helpful, but not at the expense of myself. I remember when you were all over the place and I thought you were CRAZY! Glad you learned to take care of you and hope you love your haircut.
    Poppy recently wrote…The Booty MobileMy Profile

    • February 20, 2013 Alison

      Poppy – I WAS crazy! I did enjoy it. At first. Then it just became harder and harder to keep up. I do love my haircut!

  • February 20, 2013 Kathy Radigan

    Me, have a hard time say no, never!! Lol! I so relate to this post. I have learned to say no more often, but it’s not always easy, especially when it’s family. When I listen to myself and say no it always feels so freeing. Thanks for a great post!
    Kathy Radigan recently wrote…Skinny Thai Chicken and Peanut Noodles by Skinny KitchenMy Profile

    • February 21, 2013 Alison

      I actually find it easier to say no to family – because they know what I’m like already :) Thanks for reading, Kathy!

  • February 20, 2013 ilene

    I have always had a hard time saying no. I never wanted to disappoint or lose a friend or defy someone’s expectations. However this year was a game changer for me – becoming a single parent has forced me to say no and while it’s a shame it took THAT to change my tune, I do feel like I am the owner of my own life and my time. I NEVER would have said no to a boss before or to help with a fundraiser in school – but I am much more aware of my limits now and am more willing to respect them. And it feels good! Great topic!
    ilene recently wrote…Me and JTMy Profile

    • February 21, 2013 Alison

      You need to look after yourself and your kids first, in your situation. It’s empowering, isn’t it?

  • February 20, 2013 vanita

    girl no comes really very easily to me. so when i say yes to something, it means i really want to do it. and that is a big stress relief in itself. so glad you’re feeling freer. so proud of you for taking that step for yourself.
    vanita recently wrote…Bounce Rate Defined Series: Your Irrelevant SEOMy Profile

    • February 21, 2013 Alison

      V, you’re seriously my hero and inspiration!

  • February 20, 2013 tracy

    You know how mad I’ll be if you ever say no to me???? xoxoxo
    tracy recently wrote…Shabby Apple $50 Gift Card GiveawayMy Profile

    • February 21, 2013 Alison

      I’ll never say no to YOU. xoxoxo

  • February 20, 2013 Suzanne

    Good for you for! My mother has only recently started saying no *sometimes* and she is 64. She is a people pleaser and routinely overloads herself because of it. Good for you for figuring this out earlier and making life easier for yourself, People won’t like you any less (and if they do, they’re not great friends).
    Suzanne recently wrote…A Little ExplanationMy Profile

    • February 21, 2013 Alison

      I feel bad for people pleasers, because I used to be one of them – though I fought hard against it and came off as a bitch because I decided to take some control back, and said yes TO ME. Can’t win them all :)

  • February 20, 2013 thedoseofreality

    Oh my yes. I totally understand this post in every way. I used to have the disease to please, but I honestly do not anymore. It has been hard in some ways to become a more selfish person (at least that is how it feels when you are trying to break the habit of always saying yes), but it is very freeing. And empowering. And totally a lesson I want to instill in my girls.

    • February 21, 2013 Alison

      Someone in the comments said , saying no to others is saying yes to ourselves. So in a way, it’s selfish. But a good kind of selfish.

  • February 20, 2013 Kimberly

    Saying no has gotten easier for me, though I do still need to work on it. You’re right, our own sanity comes first. I need to remember that.
    Kimberly recently wrote…Daily BuzzMy Profile

    • February 21, 2013 Alison

      I’ll remind you, happily. :)

  • It depends on what I’m saying ‘no’ to. I’m more of a maybe type of person.
    Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes recently wrote…A first for my second, another last for meMy Profile

    • February 21, 2013 Alison

      Hah! The non-committal. I do that too, sometimes. In real life. Not online though.

  • February 20, 2013 Tracie

    I have a hard time with “no,” but I am getting better at it. It seems that the more you say it, the easier it gets.
    Tracie recently wrote…Thoughts, Questions, And Monday MorningsMy Profile

    • February 21, 2013 Alison

      Oh yes, definitely practice makes perfect.

  • February 20, 2013 Julia

    I have the hardest time saying, “no” and I really need to work on this. I always say I’m going to start saying no more but I always find myself saying yes to invites and projects that my heart really isn’t in. Good for you, it must feel great.

    • February 21, 2013 Alison

      It does feel good. Do try it. :)

  • February 20, 2013 Alexandra

    Oh, goodness.

    You’ve caught my breath with the way you tell the truth.

    WIth the risks taken when someone says no.

    Of how people feel slighted/pushed away when we reach a point where we cant do what we were able to do in the beginning.

    Things grow in an exponential fashion online. One post becomes times three and that grows and soon you have to begin saying no or else you’re never at your blog and then people stop coming by because you’re never home, but if you start saying no then people are hurt because well….. you said yes to the others.

    No one can understand an individuals’ situation. No one can know what else is going on off screen.

    Again, you’ve opened dialogue.

    Incredible, woman.
    You don’t know the work you do.
    Alexandra recently wrote…Pre-Marital Quiz – Can You Say “I Can” To ThisMy Profile

    • February 21, 2013 Alison

      You have no idea how impactful your comments are, Alexandra. I didn’t think this was a conversation starter/ dialogue opener – I just wanted to tell it as it is.

      It is hard, when you say yes to someone, but no to someone else (and I’ve done this, many times, will continue to do so), and it’s difficult to explain it to the hurt party. Now, I have this post, so I’ll just send them here.

      Tell the truth, that’s what writing is, isn’t it?

      xoxo

  • February 20, 2013 Nancy

    Love this post! I have a hard time saying no. I’m working on it. And it’s not selfish if you want to save your good writing for you. It’s smart.
    Nancy recently wrote…Tips For Raising More Charitable ChildrenMy Profile

    • February 21, 2013 Alison

      Thank you, Nancy! It’s good to know that it’s smart, not selfish. Or greedy. Or self-serving. Okay, maybe a little self-serving. :)

  • February 20, 2013 Lauren

    What? New haircut? I wanna see

    • February 21, 2013 Alison

      It’s just the one I’ve always had before I let it grow out. :)
      You’re the busy one, let me know when you’re free!

  • February 20, 2013 Kim

    I have a really hard time saying no – always have. And when I do say no, I often feel guilty. Rationally, I know that is OK to say no – good sometimes, even – but it doesn’t come naturally to me.
    Kim recently wrote…WeirdnessMy Profile

    • February 21, 2013 Alison

      It didn’t (and sometimes, still doesn’t), come naturally to me. It’s a process. :)

  • February 20, 2013 Natalie

    You’ve got to do what is best for you…and saying no is a must! We can’t be everything for everyone all the time. Good for you!
    Natalie recently wrote…My Go-To MealsMy Profile

    • February 21, 2013 Alison

      Yes, that – can’t be everything for everyone all the time. Lord knows I tried. :)

  • February 20, 2013 Susi

    Alison, I have such a hard time with that and I totally understand why you do it. I really need to say “No” more often. It might be liberating!
    Susi recently wrote…The tale of two girls and a funnel cake {Wordless Wednesday}My Profile

    • February 21, 2013 Alison

      Oh it is, Susi, you must try it!

  • February 20, 2013 Olga

    Alison, I can relate very much! It’s very difficult to say no. And to me this continues to be a problem. The only way I’ve found to help myself through this is to remind myself that if it’s hard to say “no” to others it should also be hard to say “no” to myself!
    Olga recently wrote…To The End of LoveMy Profile

    • February 21, 2013 Alison

      Saying no to others is saying yes to yourself – if you turn it around, it might be easier? :)

  • February 20, 2013 Jessica

    I do have a hard time saying no but I’m getting better about it.
    Jessica recently wrote…Knitting For A CureMy Profile

    • February 21, 2013 Alison

      That’s good. Keep practicing! :)

  • February 21, 2013 Tess

    I have a friend like that. Ive found myself taking advantage of her without realizing it. Life is too short to please others. Find a way to spoil yourself!
    Tess recently wrote…Campbell’s Slow Kettle Style Soups Review and COUPON!!My Profile

    • February 21, 2013 Alison

      I am very careful before I say yes, and even more so when I say no. I take many things into consideration, and top of the list, my children. If I say yes to something, am I taking something away from my kids? (e.g. time, etc) If yes, then my answer will be an easy no. Life is too short indeed, which is why certain things/ people need to come first for me.

  • February 21, 2013 angela

    I am getting better at it, but I still struggle and say yes a little too much.
    angela recently wrote…Finding Their ValentinesMy Profile

    • February 21, 2013 Alison

      You’re too nice, Angela. :)

  • February 21, 2013 Kimberly

    I am that “yes” girl. Hate that aspect of myself. I used to be that nurse who would take on more than she could handle just to keep the peace. Although I refused to bag a dead person because I am scared of dead people.
    The only person I’m hurting in all of this is me. I wish that I could see it more clearly when the time arises.
    Congrats on the blogher post xo
    Kimberly recently wrote…You’re A Dick…LOLMy Profile

    • February 21, 2013 Alison

      You need to look after YOU, sweetie. Truly.
      Let someone else bag the dead people for once.
      xoxoxo

  • February 21, 2013 Crystal

    Saying no has become easier to do as I have aged. I have to say no to some things because I am maxed beyond capacity. Love this post. :)
    Crystal recently wrote…5 Things Charlotte’s Web Taught Me About Being a MomMy Profile

    • February 21, 2013 Alison

      We can only give so much, yes? Good for you for saying no.

  • February 21, 2013 AnnMarie

    Totally and completely guilty of this! I did say no to the kids’ PTA when asked to be a room mom because I knew trying to find a sitter for Gia and then deal with a classroom full of kids hyped up on sugar was NOT how I wanted to spend the day. But the blogging thing, I get it.
    AnnMarie recently wrote…I am FlawedMy Profile

    • February 21, 2013 Alison

      AnnMarie, you do too much, seriously. I don’t know how you manage without pulling your hair out. Say no more, it’s awesome!

  • February 21, 2013 Kristin

    I actually don’t have a hard time saying no. At least not anymore. I think it’s an age thing – the older I get, the more I can’t be bothered with stuff that just doesn’t suit me. If it’s extremely important to my family or a friend, then I’ll certainly take one for the team. Otherwise, I have no problem saying, “No thanks, I just can’t swing that right now.”
    Kristin recently wrote…If You’re Happy, Do You Know It?My Profile

    • February 21, 2013 Alison

      I think it’s fab that you know what you want and you have no qualms saying no. That’s great!

  • February 21, 2013 Nina

    I used to, like you, suffer from too much yes. Now I wonder if I suffer from too much NO! ;) I definitely went the other direction. That’s for sure.
    Nina recently wrote…Reply All With Caution: A Plea From Inboxes EverywhereMy Profile

    • February 21, 2013 Alison

      That can happen, yes! I pretty much say no 90% of the time now.

  • February 21, 2013 TOI

    Great writing. No hard feelings, I still love and respect you :). I am another Yes girl, maybe I will work on that next here. I agree that we have to say no sometimes for our own sanity :).
    TOI recently wrote…SufferingMy Profile

    • February 21, 2013 TOI

      Meant next year
      TOI recently wrote…SufferingMy Profile

    • February 21, 2013 Alison

      I’m so appreciative of your understanding!!

  • February 21, 2013 Kayla

    You’ve pegged me right on the nose! I’m a Yes girl and it really does get tiring a lot when you just CAN’T say no. I also have issues with feeling guilty all. the. time o.O So as you can guess, it’s not a healthy mix!

    Since starting my blog and online business, I’ve slowly learned to say no but it’s definitely still an ongoing process.

    As for the product reviews, I kind of find you and are are at opposite ends of the spectrum. I wish I could write beautiful and involving posts like YOU do, I just haven’t really found my inspiration or ‘voice’ yet I guess.
    Kayla recently wrote…Thorne Manor & Other Bizarre Tales *Book Review*My Profile

    • February 21, 2013 Alison

      It will get easier, promise!
      And thank you for your kind words.
      Your voice is your truth. Just write your truth.

  • February 21, 2013 Missy

    I’m so much better at it than I used to be, but it’s still hard sometimes. I never want to miss out, and yet, in order to maintain my sanity I simply have to miss out every now and then.

    No, when used appropriately, is very powerful!
    Missy recently wrote…Puppy Update and MoreMy Profile

    • February 21, 2013 Alison

      Yes, it is!
      The fear of missing out (FOMO) is actually a social media phenomenon which has been discussed widely on the Internet. Crazy, right?

  • February 21, 2013 Kate F.

    Over 3 years ago I had an eyeopening experience. It really made me see how precious my time was. It also made me relize that saying no – meant saying yes in so many ways to myself. At first it was hard to say no. (You get really good at raising your hand after so much practice!) But the more I said no, the easier it got. And now I know that (most) all of the things I say yes to are things that are important to me. I’m still busy. I still sometimes have too much on my plate. But at least everything I am doing is something I love… That’s really important to me. GOOD for you for working “no.” :)
    Kate F. recently wrote…The Busy, On-the-Go Momma’s 3-Step Guide to Maintaining Work-Life Sanity: STEP 3My Profile

    • February 21, 2013 Alison

      You said it so much better than me! And yes, saying no to others = saying yes to ourselves. Great perspective, Kate.

  • February 21, 2013 Ginnie

    Hi! I can relate to most of the things you said. And true, saying No is also a good thing. Beautiful post. Thanks for sharing. :)

    • February 21, 2013 Alison

      Thanks for reading, Ginnie.

  • February 21, 2013 Leslie

    I have a much harder time saying no in my day-to-day life. Because of personal circumstances, I don’t find it difficult to say no to affiliate or sponsorship offers…I just don’t do them. And it was honestly a big turn off to join a linky party and then get a bunch of people saying “hey I have a linky too..come join!”. So, yeah, I keep my networking very organic and almost entirely to commenting on other’s blogs – it’s pretty much all I have time for!
    Leslie recently wrote…{Weigh in Wednesday} Week 7My Profile

    • February 21, 2013 Alison

      That’s really the best way to do it anyway, Leslie!

  • February 21, 2013 Katie

    Oh my yes. {see what i did there? I said yes.}

    I have a bigger problem saying yes with my students. As in “can I bring it tomorrow?” yes. “Can I still turn that in?” yes.

    I create SO much more work for myself by taking late work, it’s ridiculous.

    Or “Can I come in at lunch to make up that quiz?” yes.

    There goes my “duty free” lunch.

    It is my weak spot.
    Katie recently wrote…the green-eyed monsterMy Profile

    • February 21, 2013 Alison

      Katie, you sound exactly like my sister, she’s also a teacher. I keep telling her off. :)
      But this is what makes you guys GOOD teachers.

  • February 21, 2013 Keely

    Omigawd, seriously. I was just telling Peej about my inability to turn down writing gigs and he was all like- So turn them down…? Which makes total sense, but I still wanted to pinch him.
    Keely recently wrote…Dental Care, As Performed By A 3 Year Old.My Profile

    • February 21, 2013 Alison

      Your husband is like the yin to your yang. Or something.
      Listen to him.

  • February 21, 2013 Amanda Jillian

    I think you would classify me as a No girl. My first response was usually no.
    Amanda Jillian recently wrote…Getting Crafty With Valentines LeftoversMy Profile

  • February 21, 2013 Christine

    I have had a hard time saying no because I wanted to please friends and family, didn’t want to ruffle any feathers or be a pain, didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. But I’ve gotten better over the years because there’s only so much that I can give give give before I’m completely empty and burnt out and have nothing left. And yes, when I say no, I feel freer too. PS congrats on the BlogHer feature!
    Christine recently wrote…Sneaking in workoutsMy Profile

    • February 21, 2013 Alison

      We have to fill our buckets first, before we fill others.
      And thank you!

  • February 21, 2013 Stasha

    I have a hard time saying no but I have learned to be better at it since I became a mom. Plus haircut takes precedence !!
    Stasha recently wrote…GlassesMy Profile

    • February 21, 2013 Alison

      Oh yes, haircuts. Sanity savers.

  • February 22, 2013 Runnermom-jen

    I don’t have trouble saying no anymore…although I used to.
    Congrats on your BlogHer post!!!
    Runnermom-jen recently wrote…Dreaming…My Profile

    • February 22, 2013 Alison

      Yay for that, and thank you!

  • February 22, 2013 Angela

    I agree with you completely, I write book reviews on my blog but only for books I WANT to read. Here’s the thing, if I don’t WANT to read it, I’m not going to probably write a good review anyway. I just don’t have the energy to BS my way through much of anything. :) Great post!
    Angela recently wrote…Snow Days: Tips for Work from home Mom’sMy Profile

    • February 22, 2013 Alison

      Yes, exactly!! Also, I think readers can totally see through the BS. :)

  • February 22, 2013 Abigail

    I have a really hard time saying no. I am a huge people pleaser and it pains me to let others down. It’s difficult to maintain a balance for sure.
    Abigail recently wrote…Maternity Photos (part 1)My Profile

    • February 22, 2013 Alison

      I work off the theory that if my friends and family understand the reasons for my saying no, they will be less likely to be hurt and disappointed. However, if they decide to be anyway, there’s not much I can do. It’s not easy, that’s for sure.

  • February 22, 2013 Jessica

    I have in the past. I think what changed with me was realizing that at the end of the day, it’s me who has to live with the person who always says “yes.” It’s me who cries and feel overwhelmed and resentful. So I stopped. I now have no problem saying “No.” I don’t think saying “No” makes me a mean person. It makes me a person who understands her limitations and value.

    Kudos to you for saying “No.” You deserve a break!!

    • February 22, 2013 Alison

      Yes! It doesn’t mean we’re being mean, we’re just being human.

  • February 22, 2013 greta

    I absolutely have a hard time saying no. Partly because I don’t want to hurt feelings or leave someone in a bind, and partly because I like to feel needed/wanted/helpful. I don’t really have trouble saying no when it comes to invitations, though. I don’t get out much, so when I do, it had better be for something good.
    greta recently wrote…An Examination of Self. Or Something.My Profile

    • February 22, 2013 Alison

      Yes, me too. Part of the reason I didn’t haul ass to that baby shower was that it was a full-blown party with over 50 people attending, none of whom I knew. I only know the mom-to-be (well, new mom now, she had the baby 36 hours ago!), and only met her husband twice. I knew it’d be awkward for me, so instead of making excuses etc, I just said no thank you and went for my desperately needed haircut. :)

  • February 22, 2013 Natalie

    Yep, I have a hard time too. I’ve just been trying really hard to draw boundaries. But it’s still a struggle. Good luck!
    Natalie recently wrote…Essence of Now (February 22, 2012)My Profile

    • February 22, 2013 Alison

      And good luck to you too!

  • February 22, 2013 Maureen

    Yes, yes, yes…I’m having a hard time saying no that’s for sure but lately I’ve learn to say no more especially since I’m back being a working mom. I remember seeing your posts across the blogosphere and I admire you for being very active, Alison but your post here is spot on! Sometimes we have to say NO indeed :)
    Maureen recently wrote…A Gorgeous Reception Plus An AccidentMy Profile

    • February 22, 2013 Alison

      There’s a time for being active, and a time to not be. Seeking a balance and saying no is the only way :)

  • February 22, 2013 Lady Jennie

    Yes – SO hard! I know I need to say no to something soon, but I have no idea what! I am living so much for other people and not enough for myself. It’s a really hard habit to break.
    Lady Jennie recently wrote…Dogs Are GrossMy Profile

    • February 22, 2013 Alison

      It’s time to take something back for you. You deserve it, you know that right?

  • February 23, 2013 Arnebya

    It IS freeing, isn’t it? (Said by the woman who still occasionally lets the yes slip out before the no even has a chance.) I HATE that feeling of doing something I truly don’t want to do just because I couldn’t say no. And it shows, I’m sure. I work hard at doing only the things I want to do, making rare exceptions for things that deserve it. It’s hard, but it’s worth it.
    Arnebya recently wrote…And Then I Auditioned for LTYM DC While I Had Alcohol PoisoningMy Profile

    • February 23, 2013 Alison

      Oh yes, it definitely shows if you do something you really wanted to say no to.
      (congrats on LTYM!)

  • February 23, 2013 julie gardner

    Oh honey, I hear this LOUD AND CLEAR even though we are half a world away from each other.

    I’ve been a YES girl for 44 years. And only recently (with several events beyond my control) gained the word NO in my vocabulary.

    I suppose it’s a cop-out because I’m still using excuses – I still feel like I need to explain or rationalize when I opt out of something presented to me.

    The fear of not being liked is real. Silly as it may be.
    But rest assured you could say no a thousand times to me and I’d still adore you.

    p.s. I promise not to ask for anything, anyway :-)
    XO
    julie gardner recently wrote…How To Not Write a NovelMy Profile

    • February 23, 2013 Alison

      I adore you and could never say no to you. Ask away. :)
      You’re just a sweetheart, that’s why people love you. Not because you’re a yes girl (even if you were).

  • February 23, 2013 Charlotte

    Yes to everything in this post. I often have a really hard time saying no myself, but find that life is about balance and that means that sometimes we have to make time for ourselves, too. This often means turning down some obligations to focus on things that WE need, too. Don’t feel too guilty. Your friends will understand. Chances are, they’d rather see you when you are true to form, right??

    XOXO
    Charlotte recently wrote…keep her in your heart for awhileMy Profile

    • February 23, 2013 Alison

      I should hope that my friends do, yes!

  • February 23, 2013 Robin

    You know, I’m not sure I do have a problem saying no. I’m really motivated by my introvert-ism. :) But I totally get the need to do what you want and need to, and nothing more.

    PS Want to guest post for me? ;)
    Robin recently wrote…Living in the LightMy Profile

    • February 23, 2013 Alison

      I think my increasing introvertism (or rather, the increasing emergence of it), is helping this saying no business along.

      Re: guest post – no. Thank you. ;)

  • February 23, 2013 My Inner Chick

    Alison Lee,
    have I told you lately that I love you?

    xxxxx
    My Inner Chick recently wrote…I Rise I Rise I RiseMy Profile

    • February 24, 2013 Alison

      Hee! Only twice a week. Love you too!!
      xoxoxoxoxo

  • February 24, 2013 Adrienne

    Good for you, Alison!

    Saying no has been something that I have (and still do at times) struggled with. I’m really good about saying no to things that used to always be a yes, like baby showers, birthday parties, and family events I just don’t want to squeeze into the only free family WE have. Those kind of things are easier now. But, I still struggle to say no to other things in my life. I’m still learning.
    Adrienne recently wrote…Mabel’s Labels Household Products GiveawayMy Profile

    • February 24, 2013 Alison

      I’m still learning too. It’s definitely easy now to say no to dinners, baby showers etc, than it is, say, a guest post. For some strange reason. :)

  • February 24, 2013 Brittany

    I do but I am getting better and it is so very worth it! It gives you the space and freedom to say yes when you really want to! I found that I was forced to say no to things I wanted to do because I had said yes to things I should have passed on. This lesson takes a long time to learn but is worth it!

    • February 25, 2013 Alison

      Yes, exactly! I would hate to miss out on things I really want, just because I couldn’t say no to something else. It’s definitely a lesson that took me years to learn.

  • February 26, 2013 Elaine A.

    No. Oh cool, that worked. ;p

    Seriously, I am better about it than I used to be. It does save you a lot of time and sanity if you can learn to practice the art of saying “No”.
    Elaine A. recently wrote…Here I AmMy Profile

    • February 26, 2013 Alison

      It’s one of those things that truly get easier with age. :)

  • February 26, 2013 Rach (DonutsMama)

    I used to have a VERY hard time saying no too. I didn’t want to hurt feelings, I wanted to be nice. I think having a child really changed that b/c at times I absolutely had to say no. After that, it was easier to say no and I have found that everyone is happier if I set appropriate limits and know what I am and am not capable of.
    Rach (DonutsMama) recently wrote…It’s Not FairMy Profile

    • February 26, 2013 Alison

      It really works out for the best when everyone knows what each other’s limits are.

  • March 1, 2013 Julia's Math

    Don’t have a huge issue saying no, but the guilt is terrible- hey, as a mom and a Catholic I’ve got a black belt in guilt!
    Julia’s Math recently wrote…Cold Cold Cold HOTMy Profile

    • March 1, 2013 Alison

      I figure I’ve got enough to feel guilty about :)

  • March 2, 2013 Mary

    Yes, um, well, yes, I totally relate. Wanting to be liked, wanting to be accepted, wanting to be everybody’s person. That gets to be exhausting really quickly. A couple months ago, I told my husband that I’d agreed to be on the youth advisory board at our church, and he said, “Of course you did.” It was like an arrow of self-awareness shot right through my heart. Of course you did…he didn’t say it but “because you say yes to everything and everyone and then what little bits of you are left for us are exhausted and stressed and overburdened.” Ouch. Learning to say no.
    Mary recently wrote…Please don’t let me screw them up.My Profile

    • March 3, 2013 Alison

      Ouch indeed. I find it easier to say no now, also because I see it as saying yes to myself, to my family, to the things I REALLY want to do. That may help you, perhaps? :)

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