Conversations With My Children

posted in: Monkey My Son, Motherhood, Parenting, Scrumplet 103 comments

Quote about conversations

Growing up, I don’t remember much about conversations with my parents, beyond talking briefly about school, my future and what we were having for dinner. We were not a talking family – at least, not from my recollection.

Let me add that this is my perception, my memories – my siblings’ experiences may be very different.

I’m a talker. I like to ‘talk things out’. I don’t do well with vague suppositions. I hate stewing. I want my words out there. I want to have conversations.

Having conversations with my children, is one thing I’ve always looked forward to as soon as I became a parent. When Monkey starting jabbering away at 11 months, I was imagining long discussions with him. I looked forward to him peppering me with questions, or surprising me with great insight the way only children can.

However, my firstborn is 3, and we have yet to have any conversations. This speech delay is throwing a wrench in the works. We are working on it, but we have a way to go before we can have the kind of talks that moms have with their kids, that I read about all the time.

I know it will happen, I just wish it was happening now. I already have so much I want to talk about with my boys.

Such as,

“Why is the sky blue?”

“What were you like at 4 years old, Mama?”

“What do you mean I have too many toys?”

“I want to tell you about school!”

“Want to know who my best friend is?”

“Why is Big Bird so tall, and Elmo so small?”

“What makes you happy?”

“Why do you write, Mama?”

“What is a blog?”

“Why is broccoli green?”

“What’s your favorite book?”

“What is kindness?”

“How do cakes rise when they’re baking?”

“How does toothpaste get into the tube?”

“How do cameras work?”

“Who decided that there’d be 24 hours in a day?”

“What’s your favorite movie?”

“What super power would you like?”

“Can we have a dog?”

“What is love?”

What conversations do you want to have with your children?

Alison
I am a former PR and marketing professional turned work-at-home mother to two boys, born December 2009 and May 2012. After a 10-year career in various PR agencies, and of the world's biggest sports brands, I traded in launch parties, product launches, and world travel, for sippy cups, diapers, and breastfeeding. Aside from this blog, I am a contributing writer at Everyday Family. My writing has also been featured on Mamalode, Families In the Loop, andThe Huffington Post.
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  • February 6, 2013 Alexandra

    Our most beautiful moments are spent in the car, when i drive my boys to their after school sports and music lessons. I love to listen to them tell me how much they love what they’re doing. I love that. How they want to tell me things, still.

    I hope I am always this lucky.
    Alexandra recently wrote…On Feeling LonelyMy Profile

    • February 11, 2013 Alison

      You are blessed. I can’t wait for the day when my boys talk my ear off.

  • February 6, 2013 Lady Jennie

    My kids’ conversations are life-changing. About Pokeymon and ninja rabbit. ;-)

    I have to learn to appreciate it more instead of going “mm-hmmmmm.”
    Lady Jennie recently wrote…Life in the Trenches – Chapter 5My Profile

    • February 11, 2013 Alison

      Ninja rabbit!!! I want to know more. :)

    • February 13, 2013 anymommy

      This!! I second. I need to learn the skill of actually caring what happened on the Pink Panther and not just nodding while my brain cells jump over cliffs ;-)

      More seriously, this is a beautiful post and the last list of questions made me think about what I could ask to get into better conversations with my children.
      anymommy recently wrote…In livingMy Profile

      • February 13, 2013 Alison

        Listening, it’s so much harder than talking, yes?
        I’ve had a lot of time to think about the questions. STILL waiting for my 3 year old to talk. :)

  • February 6, 2013 Kim

    I am a talker, too. :) My favourite conversations are sometimes just little things that we notice in the world that evolve. They often happen when we are walking together or in the car.
    Kim recently wrote…Love LetterMy Profile

    • February 11, 2013 Alison

      Car conversations seem to be popular! :)

  • February 6, 2013 Kimberly

    As much as some of the conversations don’t make sense coming from my 3 and 2 year olds, they really are the best. I love the questions and watching them stare off as they process everything I tell them.
    Kimberly recently wrote…My ReflectionMy Profile

    • February 11, 2013 Alison

      I bet your household is NOT a quiet one. :)

  • February 6, 2013 Johanna

    I used to love talking to my kids on the way to places, in the car, or on our bikes. Neutral territory brings out the best and most memorable conversations.
    Johanna recently wrote…How to lose weight – even if you can’t stick to a diet.My Profile

    • February 11, 2013 Alison

      It seems to be the common theme here, neutral territory!

  • February 6, 2013 Tracie

    As my daughter gets older, our conversations just get better and better. You will get there.
    Tracie recently wrote…That Is Not How Goodreads WorksMy Profile

    • February 11, 2013 Alison

      Oh I know, I just can’t wait.

  • February 6, 2013 Mrs. Weber

    My mom used to always say she couldn’t wait until I could talk politics with her. Well, now is the time…We don’t talk, we argue! Be careful what you wish for ;)

    But in all honesty, I love having those candid convos with her, and I also look forward to the day my gals can chat about current events and such with me — with their own opinions that I probably won’t agree with, of course.

    No worries – Monkey will get there in due time!
    Mrs. Weber recently wrote…Disney On Ice Presents “Dare to Dream” Coming to Detroit March 14-17 {+Giveaway}My Profile

    • February 11, 2013 Alison

      I sure hope so! I also really look forward to the day when my boys can talk to each other.

  • February 6, 2013 tracy

    I have three girls – thus someone is ALWAYS talking in my house. And giggling. What I love the most though is sitting in other room while I listen to my girls talk to each other. Now that is some good stuff.
    tracy recently wrote…So I Met The PresidentMy Profile

    • February 11, 2013 Alison

      Oh yes, I bet. I cannot wait til the boys talk to each other.

  • Be carefull what you wish for! Conversations with your kids have weird side -effects like googling “how to build a solar system” after your 4 year old asks you how the sun and moon work.
    Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes recently wrote…About a beltMy Profile

    • February 11, 2013 Alison

      I am happy to deal with chatter. Much better than worrying about a non-conversational 3 year old.

  • February 6, 2013 Blond Duck

    Love it!
    Blond Duck recently wrote…Us AgainMy Profile

  • February 6, 2013 Elaine A.

    My oldest has started to want to take his own long bath, instead of a shower, at night. He asks me to come in while he’s “soaking” and we have our best convos in there, just the two of us. Sometimes he asks his Dad to come in instead. It’s pretty awesome.

    And you’ll get there. And it will be so great! xo
    Elaine A. recently wrote…We’ve DONE Mardi Gras!My Profile

    • February 11, 2013 Alison

      Aw, that IS awesome.

  • February 6, 2013 AnnMarie

    I am a talker, too. Surprise, surprise. I enjoy my conversations with Nico the best. He’s going to be 15 and he still seems to care a lot about my opinion. It is a challenge not to just lecture him and I love walking away from a conversation with him after he hugs me and says, “Thanks, Mom.” Belle’s are a little more “drama-filled” and Tommy’s are “google-filled”. And Gia, sweet Gia…she cracks me up but a lot of ours are still me guessing what she is trying to say and some of the expressions on her face when I guess wrong are pretty funny. I hae a feeling you are going to be having those conversations in no time. :)
    AnnMarie recently wrote…5 Things Making Me Happy Right NowMy Profile

    • February 11, 2013 Alison

      I KNEW you were a talker!
      It’s so great that Nico values your opinion, that’s so awesome.

  • February 6, 2013 angela

    Conversations with kids are amazing (and sometimes frustrating.) Abbey talks over Dylan a lot, so our conversations are more about her ideas. (Today on the way to school we talked about why people can get sick when they go to new countries.)
    angela recently wrote…The Obvious Game – A ReviewMy Profile

    • February 11, 2013 Alison

      So fun!!

  • February 6, 2013 thedoseofreality

    I genuinely enjoy hearing my girls’ take on the world. Because they are such different ages right now, it is even more fun! :)
    thedoseofreality recently wrote…LEGO My Toys!My Profile

    • February 11, 2013 Alison

      I bet! I am dying to know what’s going on their heads.

  • February 6, 2013 Jessica

    Your conversation days will come. And once they do they won’t stop until the kids are teens. And then they will start again after the teen years.

    Or at least that’s what I remember from when I was a kid.
    Jessica recently wrote…21 Day Oral Health Care Challenge – The BeginningMy Profile

    • February 11, 2013 Alison

      Oh yes, I remember I didn’t really talk to my parents when I was a teen :)

  • February 6, 2013 Mama Melch

    Recently Annika keeps asking me,”mama, when are you going to be finished with your book? Will you be a doctor then?” Suggestions for explaining a PhD to a preschooler?
    Mama Melch recently wrote…Wordless Wednesday: A Family Day at Audubon State ParkMy Profile

    • February 11, 2013 Alison

      Oh, that’s a tough one. Good luck with that. :)

  • February 7, 2013 Andrea

    This post is beyond adorable. As the mother of a two and a half year old I can tell that conversations with your child is the best. Even before she was able to shower me with 1000 questions, she and I had many conversations. Her kick to my belly when I wouldn’t eat in a timely matter was conversation. Her reaching out to me as an infant was conversation. You and your little one have plenty of conversation. Relish in it! Love this post. Visiting from SITS.
    Andrea recently wrote…Fourplay, The Act, The LoveMy Profile

    • February 11, 2013 Alison

      I love that perspective, Andrea. Thank you!

  • February 7, 2013 julie gardner

    I know that you will one day have all these talks and more. Because you’re committed to it. And you’ll be there, listening, responding, loving your boys.

    p.s. So. Can we get a dog???
    julie gardner recently wrote…So we had a fireMy Profile

    • February 11, 2013 Alison

      I am SO committed.

      (yes, yes you can)

  • February 7, 2013 Kristin

    I’m sorry you’re still struggling with Monkey’s speech delay, Alison. My daughter is a huge talker – to the point when I find myself getting annoyed with her incessant jabbering, I think of parents whose children can’t or won’t talk and remind myself that I am blessed.

    I always love hearing Lil’ Bit’s view of the world, seeing it through her eyes. A few weeks ago, she explained to me how precipitation works and the difference between night and day. It’s a blog post waiting to happen – Science According to a Three-Year-Old. :)

    I also love it when she surprises me. Last week we were driving home from school and came to a stop sign and she suddenly blurted out, “That’s an octagon!” I knew they were working on signs at school, but still… color me impressed.
    Kristin recently wrote…I Can’t Do Maths, But I Do Know How to GoogleMy Profile

    • February 11, 2013 Alison

      Oh yes, color me impressed!

  • February 7, 2013 Stasha

    Love how inquisitive children are. Also our parents did not have google so answering our questions was a tall order ;)
    Stasha recently wrote…Wordless WednesdayMy Profile

    • February 11, 2013 Alison

      I think people were more imaginative before Google. :)

  • February 7, 2013 Tess

    I try to have meanful convos with the kids but it’s hard to get the teenager to speak to me other than “Im fine”. At least my youngest will still talk to me! lol
    Tess recently wrote…Chocolate Covered Banana Cupcakes-Together At LastMy Profile

    • February 11, 2013 Alison

      It will come to that, won’t it? Silent teens. Sigh.

  • February 7, 2013 Natalie

    I agree with Kimberly it’s so fun to talk to Nolan–even though at 2 sometimes it doesn’t make sense…but it’s so cute to see his brain work and trying to verbalize his thoughts. The best times are right after naps and before bedtime…he becomes a little chatterbox.
    Natalie recently wrote…Little Moments Like This…My Profile

    • February 11, 2013 Alison

      Monkey does jabber still, I am DYING to know what’s going on in his head. :)

  • February 7, 2013 Jessica

    Monkey will begin with conversations in no time! Have your doctors determined what’s causing the delay? I ask because I have some friends with children with speech delays and have learned that the reasons for delays vary widely.

    I enjoy talking with my three year old because it’s nice to get inside of her head. My one year old understands me, but she can’t talk back. I look forward to the day when she begins with conversations and am anxious to hear my two daughters’ conversations with one another. :)
    Jessica recently wrote…Short Little BitsMy Profile

    • February 11, 2013 Alison

      It’s a speech delay, and I think it’s partly due to his being stubborn. :)

      I can’t wait for the boys to talk to each other too!

  • February 7, 2013 Not a Perfect Mom

    oh, just you wait….sometimes I’m on the verge of tears begging my children to stop talking to me and asking questions…
    and questions they do ask…
    what are boogers made of? Does a whale breathe out its mouth or blowhole? Why do we have blood? How does the baby get in your tummy? How does the baby get out of your tummy? Why do toe nails grow? Why is the corn in my poop? Why are foods different colors? Why Why Why?
    Not a Perfect Mom recently wrote…Effective Birth Control For Your Four Year OldMy Profile

    • February 11, 2013 Alison

      Oh gosh, such awesome questions!

  • February 7, 2013 Sue

    Of course you will have every single one of those conversations with him – Every. Single. One – in due time. But you already know that. :)

    Me? I’ve been mulling over a conversation that I need to have with The Twins. As they’re twelve and in sixth grade, they’re watching some of their friends pair off into little boyfriend/girlfriend couples…I even heard talk of a liplock (gasp) between two of their mutual friends in a neighbor’s basement over the weekend.

    I need to talk to The Twins…separately, as a young man and young woman…about how to approach a “relationship.” How to honor someone of the opposite sex, and how to honor themselves in the process. How to be your own person even as you pair off with someone else one day.

    Yeesh. It’s easier to have that conversation with you, my friend, than it is with them. :) Wish me luck.
    Sue recently wrote…Open Letter to Mom from The Small OneMy Profile

  • February 7, 2013 Leslie

    I can imagine that Monkey’s speech delay must be extremely frustrating. If I had any any advice to offer, I’d do it. In any case, I’m sending hugs from halfway around the world. Just remember, it’s not forever. You may look back on this post in thirty years and smile, finally knowing all the wonderful conversations yet to come.
    Leslie recently wrote…{Weigh In Wednesday} Week 5My Profile

    • February 11, 2013 Alison

      Thank you Leslie, for your support and hug!

  • February 7, 2013 Christine

    It’s funny because I don’t remember much about conversations with my parents either aside from school (i.e. grades), food, logistics and schedule. Maybe it’s an Asian thing?? :-)

    I love having conversations with my boys. With E, I love hearing the random, nonsensical stories that he pulls together in his mind. And he speak them as if they are the truth. With J, our conversations have become a bit more interesting since he’s almost 6. It’s not so much the subject of the conversation that I love but seeing the way that his mind works and pieces information together. It’s fascinating.
    Christine recently wrote…Decisions. Decisions.My Profile

    • February 11, 2013 Alison

      It must be an Asian thing!

      I am dying to know what’s in my boys’ heads, seriously.

  • February 7, 2013 Abigail

    I really can’t wait to just hear about his perspective on his day. I want to know who he thinks is his friend and why. I just love how little minds work and the simplest thing is amazing to them. I can’t wait to rediscover the world through my son’s eyes.
    Abigail recently wrote…Thanks teenage meMy Profile

    • February 11, 2013 Alison

      It would be so awesome!

  • February 7, 2013 Laura

    Every once in a while I am just floored at how incredible it is that Cameron can tell me things and share with me in such a verbal way. It is breathtaking. He has started to talk in big long sentences in the last few months, and the conversations have begun. He’s not into the WHYs yet, but it is still nice to just talk about our days together.

    I wish this for you too, my friend.

    I grew up in a TALKING family. I used to need my dad to come to my room at night so I could talk through things in order for me to decompress and fall asleep. As a teenager, I lived in a different city from my parents and we would drive together each weekend, and those car rides would be full of conversation. I hope that I have such an open relationship with my kids.
    Laura recently wrote…Great ExpectationsMy Profile

    • February 11, 2013 Alison

      And you will, Laura! You’re well on your way there. :)

  • February 7, 2013 sarah

    I do treasure the conversations I have with my kiddos. The best ones come out of the blue. Like, you can try to set them up with a question…but really my favorites have always been initiated by them. So interesting to hear their side of things! I know you’ll experience that with your monkey Alison. I bet his head is just brimming with wisdom!
    sarah recently wrote…#ippp: it’s all about the brambles, babyMy Profile

    • February 11, 2013 Alison

      Oh I know it too! I’m just impatient.

  • February 7, 2013 tracey

    I can’t imagine how difficult that must be. 3 year olds have so much to say and it must be frustrating for him…. My nephews all have speech delays and it is hard. That said, once they learn to talk, they make up for lost time. It’ll happen.
    tracey recently wrote…Blue really isn’t my favorite color anymore…My Profile

    • February 11, 2013 Alison

      Oh I do hope so, Tracey.

  • February 8, 2013 Rabia

    I love talking to them about what they want to be when they grow up.. The boys are young enough that their aspirations are silly and change from week to week. My daughter is set on being a vet and even at 9 wants to be working towards that goal.
    Rabia recently wrote…Valentine BraceletsMy Profile

    • February 11, 2013 Alison

      See, that’s what I want, and can’t wait for. :)

  • February 8, 2013 Kir

    like Alexandra, I love the drive to and from school in the car with my boys. I love asking about their days, I love hearing them sing “ADULT SONGS” and “KID SONGS” , I love listening to their little minds try to get all their thoughts out into the universe.

    I also love that sleepy time right before sleep, when they are telling me that they love me, or they love Harry Potter and why is Voldemort so mean, why is Ron’s hair read and why , why , why does WIlly Wonka have oompa loompas.

    Like most moms, I sometimes get soooo tired or the questions of hearing “Mom?” but the truth is that I LOVE it..I love every single conservation I have with my babies, just watching them grow into themselves.

    I loved this post xo
    Kir recently wrote…You Should Be Mine {Master Class, Scriptic}My Profile

    • February 11, 2013 Alison

      Oh I know you love it, you’re a talker, just like me. xo

  • February 8, 2013 Jenny

    Thanks for stopping by my blog today. I love to head back over to read commenters’ blogs when I can, and I am really glad I could today: I loved your list of imagined conversation-starters. (Wouldn’t some un-Googled, no-Wikepedia-crutch answers make a great little novelty book?) My 4-year-old has a language delay, and he and I didn’t really begin to have real conversations until the past few months. It is such a relief to finally be able to get to know him better, now that he can tell me what’s going through his little head. (Yesterday he told me had a dream in which he was carrying a dead angel that had been a rainbow. Huh?) My daughter talked well before she was two, so it was that much harder for me to wait for this stage with my son. There is just nothing like pillow talk with a little preschooler, is there?
    Jenny recently wrote…Colic, Sleep Deprivation, and the Dangers of DogmaMy Profile

  • February 8, 2013 Greta

    The conversations I have with my kids are seriously one of my favorite things about having kids. The 3yo asks questions to see what I’ll say. The 5yo is learning so much, and reading, and making friends. The 7yo is developing intense interests and it’s so much fun to hear him so excited. Soon enough, you’ll be wishing for quiet once in a while hen your boy’s NOT talking. :)
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    • February 11, 2013 Alison

      I will? I don’t know. I can’t wait to hear his thoughts. I’m sure I can listen to him for a while. :)

  • February 8, 2013 Roxanne

    I am lucky in that T and I have always had great conversations. It’s given me a chance to see into his mind, and to help him explain the world around him. I look forward to all of our future conversations – about everything.
    Roxanne recently wrote…A nerd’s dream dateMy Profile

    • February 11, 2013 Alison

      It’s going to be so great, Roxanne.

  • February 8, 2013 Courtney Kirkland

    How DOES toothpaste get in the tube? I don’t remember having a whole lot of deep indepth conversations with my family either. Something that I’m determined to remedy with my boys. Not just talking…but LISTENING to what they have to say.
    Courtney Kirkland recently wrote…Jonah: 2 monthsMy Profile

    • February 11, 2013 Alison

      Yes! Two way – talking and listening. Absolutely.

  • February 8, 2013 tori nelson

    I’ve tried to explain a blog to my toddler and it is too abstract for him to understand. I’ll catch him reading a story book or coloring a picture and he assures me he is fixing his blog :)
    tori nelson recently wrote…Love StinksMy Profile

    • February 11, 2013 Alison

      Aww, that’s so cute!

  • February 9, 2013 Angie

    Having three children, we have lots of conversation going on in our house. The conversations have evolved over the years and I have learned when each of them is most interested in talking – not necessarily when I want them to talk to me. :) My oldest son is chatty at bedtime, my daughter suddenly wants to chat when it is time to shower, and my youngest wants to talk all the time!

    You are in store for lots of great conversation ahead, especially when he starts school. Kids are very observant!
    Angie recently wrote…Video of the Day: Washed By The WaterMy Profile

    • February 11, 2013 Alison

      Sounds like you’re always talking then :)

  • February 9, 2013 Stacey

    My daughter is 17 now and we talk all the time. She loves to talk about her relationships with friends. How they annoy her, what she loves about them, the parts of them that remind her of herself. She talks of boys and her dream of having a boyfriend who is not a jerk! We discuss politics, TV shows, quirky news stories, and celebrity gossip. The tattoo/piercing craze, desserts, ideal vacations, her fears, aspirations, and college.

    I have enjoyed talking with her even before she was born and I still do.

    Great post. Lovely reminder ;-)

    Visiting from SITS
    Stacey recently wrote…The beauty of imperfectionMy Profile

  • February 10, 2013 Amanda Jillian

    Mostly very odd ones with AJ about how if you spank him with a knife you will cut his butt. While true I have to wonder where in the world it came from!

    • February 11, 2013 Alison

      Hah! Too funny.

  • February 11, 2013 Katie

    People always told me, when I was wishing for Eddie to talk, that someday I would take that wish back.

    Those people were totally wrong.

    Eddie makes the funniest observations and asks the best questions. Our chats always make me smile or break my heart. Sometimes some of each.
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    • February 11, 2013 Alison

      I wouldn’t wish it back either. I really won’t. I am so dying to hear what he’ll say.

      I love reading about your chats with Eddie.

  • February 11, 2013 braintomahawk

    I hope for you to one day hear all of these questions, and more, in the course of a day :)
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    • February 11, 2013 Alison

      Oh I hope so!!

  • February 11, 2013 Marnie Byod

    Conversation with our little ones at home is a great help to them with their development.
    They will become more aware about the world too. Sooner, I want to do the same thing also with my kids.
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  • February 11, 2013 Julia

    Yes, conversations with little ones are amazing. I do love talking to my son and learning how his mind processes information. You WILL have these conversations, too. And those are some great questions you have up there. :)
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    • February 11, 2013 Alison

      I know I will. Cannot. Wait.

  • February 12, 2013 Nellie

    I agree with a previous commenter, once it happens they will make up for lost time, then you will have a snappy/talkybacky 3 year old like mine :) It will come.
    Nellie recently wrote…I Got A New Toy!My Profile

    • February 12, 2013 Alison

      I can’t wait!

  • February 12, 2013 Alexa

    Ha and you’ll get some far funnier than that! Like “If fire and metal were in a fight, who would win?” and “Will eating hot dogs make my wiener longer?” “Does God fart?” Yes, I too hope one day to have meaningful conversations with my son!!! :-)
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    • February 12, 2013 Alison

      Haha the hotdog one made me laugh!

  • February 13, 2013 Alma

    I love conversations with my kids. At dinner time. Or when my 11 year old bursts through the door from school. On the walk back from picking up my little girl from pre-k. But my favorite time has to be before bed. We spend time with both kids talking about life and tickles in between. I treasure that time the most.
    Alma recently wrote…Nourishing the SpiritMy Profile

    • February 13, 2013 Alison

      Sounds like great joy (and fun!).

  • February 13, 2013 Leah

    Conversations are so precious… And you have to make them a top priority because as they get older they end up wanting to share at moments that you might be exhausted, busy, running late etc…, but, if you are always up for it, the most special moments and best conversations happen at the weirdest times!

    • February 13, 2013 Alison

      I know I’ll love those moments when they want to talk to me. They won’t always want to right? Must treasure those moments. Always.

  • February 16, 2013 Venassa

    My daughter is 17 months, and is just starting to say some words. Her favorite right now is ‘no’. But I can’t wait to have conversations with her someday :)
    Venassa recently wrote…How much do you indulge?My Profile

    • February 16, 2013 Alison

      It will be so much fun!

  • Your little monkey will get there and the questions will never stop. :) But how DOES toothpaste get in the tube? Ellen
    Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms recently wrote…Facebook Follow-Up Friday #1My Profile

    • February 17, 2013 Alison

      I watched a Discovery documentary on that, but I don’t remember how :)

  • February 18, 2013 Kayla

    I think that’s so wonderful of you actually WANTING to take the time out with your kids and actually discussing everything and anything with them. That’s something I bet they’ll remember far into their adult lives!
    Kayla recently wrote…Jake² Thursday(2/14)My Profile

    • February 18, 2013 Alison

      Ever since my first was a baby, I’ve been dying to talk to him. :)

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