The Things He Says

posted in: Humor, Husband 109 comments

My husband’s a pretty funny guy.

It’s why I married him.

Well, of course I married him for his good looks first.

The husband with Monkey who was 7 months old in this picture


Sort of.

He’s also all kinds of helpful with the kids, so there’s that.

Oh, he also gets me cake, cupcakes, chocolate, ice-cream.

You get the idea.

What is most awesome about this man though (other than his elephant memory), is his sense of humor, and the things he says.

Such as:

“Would you like to nibble on my nuts?” (offering me some roasted peanuts)

“Do you know anything about car bras?”

“He’s a rubber bandit!” (pointing at our cat who loved playing with rubber bands – back when we still had cats)

“He looks like a little old man taking a nap.” (referring to the sleeping baby)

“Who wears pants at home?”

Thank you, Husband, for being my rock, especially these past few weeks.Β 

What do you love about your other half?

Alison Lee is a former PR and marketing professional turned work-at-home mother. After a 10-year career in various PR agencies, and of the world’s biggest sports brands, Alison traded in product launches and world travel, for sippy cups, diapers, and breastfeeding. Alison's writing has been featured on Mamalode, On Parenting at The Washington Post, The Huffington Post, Everyday Family, Scary Mommy, and She is one of 35 essayists in the anthology, My Other Ex: Women’s True Stories of Leaving and Losing Friends. In 2012, she founded Little Love Media, a social media consultancy specializing in blog book tours, and because she doesn’t sleep, is an editor at BonBon Break, an online magazine. Alison lives in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia with her husband and four children (two boys and boy/ girl twins).

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  • June 4, 2012 tracy

    Awww…he sounds(and looks..ahem) amazing. Are you looking for a sister-wife perhaps? xoxo
    tracy recently wrote…Project 365 Week 22My Profile

    • June 4, 2012 Alison

      I thought we’re already sister-wives? xo

  • June 4, 2012 Robin

    Aw, that’s awesome. Good husbands are the best. And he’s hot, too. πŸ˜‰
    Robin recently wrote…The Envelope PleaseMy Profile

    • June 4, 2012 Alison

      That comment will get into his head and it will explode. πŸ™‚

  • June 4, 2012 Christine

    Your husband does say some pretty amusing things πŸ™‚

    I’m pretty sure that I wouldn’t survive my two kids without my husband. One of the things that I love about him is how he is with the boys – the time, care and attention. I swear to God he’s the primarily caregiver.

    PS love the pictures of Monkey and Scrumplet. 2 is HARD both the age and the number of children. It’s only been a few weeks and it’s an adjustment. It’s a lot for a 2 year old to process but I’m pretty sure that you are doing an amazing job letting them both know that they are loved.
    Christine recently wrote…Green Smoothie ChallengeMy Profile

    • June 4, 2012 Alison

      Your husband sounds like a keeper!

      And thank you for your encouraging words. xo

  • June 4, 2012 Kerstin

    Love the thing with the nuts… I accidentally said something like “I don’t mind nuts on my chin” (when I was eating macademia nuts) and that kind of stuck. They did not forget…

    My husband and I have been married for 12 years and we have our ups and downs, but we have the same sense of humor, that it definitely one of the things that keeps us together.
    Sometimes I just laugh at the funny things he says in English (and then I blog about it), but most of the time we just have to look at each other and start laughing because we’re thinking the same thing.

    All in all, I would have to say it’s the whole package that I love about him (no pun intended). We make a really good team, while each keeping our own identity and now trying to change into something we’re not.
    Kerstin recently wrote…HomeMy Profile

    • June 4, 2012 Kerstin

      …uhm, of course I meant to say that we are NOT trying to change into something we’re not… πŸ˜‰

    • June 4, 2012 Alison

      I love your non-pun! πŸ™‚ It’s fab that you and your husband can laugh together after all these years. Humor keeps a marriage together!

  • June 4, 2012 Jen

    There is nothing sexier than a funny guy except a really hot, funny guy. Throw in one who will fetch you ice cream and cake? Dreamy!! So glad you’re getting lots of support. xoxo
    Jen recently wrote…Three WishesMy Profile

    • June 4, 2012 Alison

      Totally dreamy. πŸ™‚

  • June 4, 2012 My Inner Chick

    He is Totally CUTE!

    Cute + Funny = HOT

    Great photo, Mama. Xx
    My Inner Chick recently wrote…Sinful Oreo Stuffed Chocolate Chip CookiesMy Profile

    • June 4, 2012 Alison

      Heh, thank you Kim. I’m a lucky girl!

  • June 4, 2012 vanita

    Girl let me tell you, my dear hubby is hubby #2. When my first marriage went to crap and I was left raising two little girls on my own, I was sure I would never marry again. Well I was sure until this guy that I had a super crush on for the longest stumbled his way through asking me to have a drink with him after work. He had me from the first nervous stiffer and his fake excuse that he had an old family photo and heard that I could restore and reprint it. What makes me love him is the same reasons why i agreed to marry him 6 months later, in random order.
    1. He believes women are stronger and more courageous than men and he can give you multiple examples.
    2. He supports me in everything I do.
    3. He gave my daughters a complete family and the best father they could have.
    4. He never ever raises his voice.
    5. He’s a no bullshit kinda guy.
    6. He can bloody cook and does it without being bribed.
    7. My new last name is shorter, sexier and higher up in the alphabet.
    As u can see I can go on and on. Lol

    We can start a club for wives of outstanding hubbies! πŸ˜‰ so glad ur hubby is such a sweetheart and so supportive. Makes my heart smile.
    vanita recently wrote…Where Chaos Takes UsMy Profile

    • June 4, 2012 vanita

      OMG silly autocorrect and my big fingers. ** nervous stutter not stiffer. Lmao! OMG
      vanita recently wrote…Where Chaos Takes UsMy Profile

    • June 4, 2012 Alison

      Vanita, it sounds like you have a KEEPER!! A man who can cook? YIPPEE-DEE-DOO-DAH!

  • June 4, 2012 Alexandra

    Good Looks is right!!
    Alexandra recently wrote…What The World Can Learn From The Quiet OnesMy Profile

    • June 4, 2012 Alison

      Hee! Lucky me.

  • June 4, 2012 Barbara

    He sounds like a great catch!
    Barbara recently wrote…Do-overMy Profile

    • June 4, 2012 Alison

      Most days, I feel that way! Hah! Kidding. He totally is. πŸ™‚

  • June 4, 2012 Mark

    Your post made me blush a little.
    What I love about Fred is that he wears a tool belt to fix things. It really does it for me.
    Mark recently wrote…I’m not deadMy Profile

    • June 4, 2012 Alison

      Hee! Gotta love a man who fixes stuff. I love you and Fred together.

  • June 4, 2012 JDaniel4's Mom

    I love watching how he plays with our son. Oh! and that is does dishes.
    JDaniel4’s Mom recently wrote…Royal Jubilee Snack- A Crown PizzaMy Profile

    • June 4, 2012 Alison

      Ooh a man who does dishes! Lucky you!

  • June 4, 2012 Galit Breen

    Lovely, you.

    There’s anything like appreciating our other half, is there?

    (And humor and help and sexy are at the top of my list, too! :))

    Galit Breen recently wrote…Motherhood MantrasMy Profile

    • June 4, 2012 Alison

      Your Jason is a keeper, sweet friend! xo

  • June 4, 2012 Sue

    “Who wears pants at home?”


    You hold onto that man of yours, Alison, you hear me? He’s a keeper. I should know.


    The One Whose Groom Wears Business Socks with Shorts at Home
    Sue recently wrote…I’m Not Sexy. And I Know It.My Profile

    • June 4, 2012 Alison

      Sue, my man ALSO WEARS BUSINESS SOCKS WITH HIS SHORTS. BOXER SHORTS. You too, hang onto your groom.

  • A man who brings you chocolate is a keeper.
    ‘Would you like to nibble on my nuts’ is something my husband would say and then he would wonder why I laugh…
    Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes recently wrote…Not how I thought my Saturday would beginMy Profile

    • June 4, 2012 Alison

      Chocolate wins us over, men should learn that fast. You need to write a post about the stuff your husband says!

  • June 4, 2012 Jessica

    H.O.T.T. Alison! A few of my favorite things about the one who balances the scales in my life: his work ethic, his sense of humor, his ability to fix anything, he ALWAYS assumes good intent, he will stay up way too late talking with me because we always have so much to say.
    Jessica recently wrote…Of Reaping and WeepingMy Profile

    • June 4, 2012 Alison

      I just love reading your posts about your Farmer. You are such a wonderful couple. Truly.

  • June 4, 2012 Life As Wife

    He is so handsome!

    Does he know how lucky he is to have you??!
    Life As Wife recently wrote…Blog Bash, Part IMy Profile

    • June 4, 2012 Alison

      I remind him of that DAILY!!!

  • June 4, 2012 Kimberly

    Okay, the ‘nibble on my nuts’ comment made me laugh out loud. Yes, I AM a 12 year boy. Whatever.

    He’s a keeper, for sure! I hope he knows how lucky he is to have you, too!
    Kimberly recently wrote…I’ve Been A Busy BeeMy Profile

    • June 4, 2012 Alison

      Dude, I nearly pissed myself when he said that. So yeah, I’m a 12 year old boy too. Heh.

      He knows – I remind him of that fact daily!

  • June 4, 2012 Mrs. Weber

    Humor is seriously the secret to a good relationship, I’m convinced. So glad he keeps you laughing, all the while helping out with the boys. And you’re right — he’s not too shabby to look at either πŸ˜‰
    Mrs. Weber recently wrote…#MyMichMemory: Giveaway with the Detroit Zoo + Linky!My Profile

    • June 4, 2012 Alison

      Oh humor is totally the key ingredient!

  • June 4, 2012 Kristen

    It must be a lot of fun in your house! Just wait until the boys are older and can join in on the nuts humor!! That will make for great posts!!
    My husband makes me laugh too! What attracted me to him though was his brain. We worked together and besides being a totally cutie…he was so smart. It was a total turn on!! I still love to listen to him talk about work. It’s all greek to me but I love it all the same!
    Kristen recently wrote…The Infamous Black Rat SnakeMy Profile

    • June 4, 2012 Alison

      Intelligence is a biggie for me too!!!

      I’m pretty sure my boys will inherit their father’s toilet humor. πŸ™‚

  • June 4, 2012 Heather C

    I married my husband for his sense of humor too. There’s nothing better than a man who can make you laugh. πŸ™‚
    Heather C recently wrote…Hangin’ Around.My Profile

    • June 4, 2012 Alison

      Yes, absolutely!!

  • June 4, 2012 Katie

    supportive husbands are the greatest.

    and it helps when they are hot.

    I think we both win in BOTH of those departments.
    Katie recently wrote…the taste of summerMy Profile

    • June 5, 2012 Alison

      Yay US! πŸ™‚

  • June 5, 2012 Bonnie Way

    Aw, that’s funny! My hubby also has a pretty good sense of humour – he’s known for being “punny.” On the weekend, he noticed I wasn’t having a great day so he bought me flowers. πŸ™‚
    Bonnie Way recently wrote…Book Review: Heaven in Her ArmsMy Profile

    • June 5, 2012 Alison

      Hah, punny! And a man who brings his wife flowers? Sweet!

  • June 5, 2012 Jaime

    The laughter part is almost the most important part in a marraige. the cut epart is important too, lol
    Jaime recently wrote…Six YearsMy Profile

    • June 5, 2012 Alison

      Haha, cute certainly is a bonus!

  • June 5, 2012 Jessica

    I told my husband he’s not allowed to be as funny as me. πŸ˜‰
    Jessica recently wrote…When Pretzels AttackMy Profile

    • June 5, 2012 Alison

      Good advice which I hope he’s taking πŸ™‚

  • June 5, 2012 Nikky44

    NO Comment πŸ™
    Nikky44 recently wrote…My First Best FriendMy Profile

    • June 5, 2012 Alison

      Hugs, you.

  • June 5, 2012 Elena

    Love it! Our cat – who loves rubberbands also – I’m so using the rubber bandit on my husband to see if I can get a laugh out. Although, he’ll know I didn’t remotely come up with it because I’m not that clever. πŸ˜‰
    Elena recently wrote…35.My Profile

    • June 5, 2012 Alison

      Hey he may just!

  • June 5, 2012 Kristin

    Wow, a picture of the elusive husband of Alison – it’s like spotting the Yeti! πŸ™‚

    My husband is a man of few words but he can bust out some hilarious one-liners. I can’t think of any right now because my brain is enveloped in a sleep-deprived fog, but he’s definitely come out with some gems over the years. And the things he teaches Lil’ Bit to say are even better – he taught her how to say “mullet” and also how to quote Ned Ryerson from Groundhog Day. I really need to devote an entire post to all the interesting toddlerisms she’s picked up as a result of him.
    Kristin recently wrote…Pathetically ApatheticMy Profile

    • June 5, 2012 Alison

      Haha, that’d be his new nickname!

      Yes, you should write that post!

  • June 5, 2012 angela

    This is lovely πŸ™‚ I’m glad you have a rock. A good looking, funny rock πŸ™‚

    I like when my hubs and I laugh together. It’s my favorite.
    angela recently wrote…Choosing JoyMy Profile

    • June 5, 2012 Alison

      Laughing together keeps a couple together πŸ™‚

  • June 5, 2012 AnnMarie

    Love that you are getting support from your hot husband over there. Mine keeps me laughing when there isn’t much to laugh about. That and he is hot as well. πŸ™‚
    AnnMarie recently wrote…My Birthday: Part 2My Profile

    • June 5, 2012 Alison

      Laughter, good looks – what more could a girl ask for?

  • June 5, 2012 Bruna

    What a funny guy that husband of yours! Love the pic of him and baby Monkey πŸ™‚
    Bruna recently wrote…family photosMy Profile

    • June 5, 2012 Alison

      That’s one of my favorite photos πŸ™‚

  • June 5, 2012 Erin

    How funny!!! Sounds like a keeper πŸ™‚ Any guy who gets you what you want when you want it needs to stay around πŸ™‚
    Erin recently wrote…Summer ActivitiesMy Profile

    • June 5, 2012 Alison

      Oh yes, absolutely πŸ™‚

  • June 5, 2012 Jessica

    So sweet, I’m glad that you have him. What I love most about my husband is the same as you, he is definitely my rock and “home” to me.
    Jessica recently wrote…Superhero in my houseMy Profile

    • June 5, 2012 Alison

      We are lucky girls!

  • June 5, 2012 Anna

    I really think a good sense of humor is not only important but one of the best qualities a man (esp. a husband) can have. Getting chocolate and ice cream and looking good doing it doesn’t hurt either πŸ™‚
    Anna recently wrote…Today’s Featured MomMy Profile

    • June 5, 2012 Alison

      Looking good while giving you the chocolate you asked for? Seriously, a girl could not be happier πŸ™‚

  • June 5, 2012 Runnermom-jen

    Anyone who brings you cake, chocolate, and ice cream is a keeper in my book πŸ˜‰
    Seriously though, this is really sweet.
    Runnermom-jen recently wrote…SummerMy Profile

    • June 5, 2012 Alison

      Heh, thank you Jen. πŸ™‚

  • June 5, 2012 julie gardner

    He’s gorgeous, in all the ways that count.

    And even the ones that don’t matter as much.
    (Because being hot is never a bad thing, right?).

    And I mean that about your man and MY better half, too.

    Hooray for gorgeous. (Nuts and all.)
    julie gardner recently wrote…And now for something completely different…My Profile

    • June 5, 2012 Alison

      Gorgeous nuts!!!

  • June 5, 2012 Not a Perfect Mom

    my husband can cook…
    and he’s funny…
    and seriously the best lover I’ve ever had…
    TMI? ha!
    Not a Perfect Mom recently wrote…Why Kids Are Assholes-Part 1My Profile

    • June 5, 2012 Alison

      From you? Not TMI at all!

  • June 5, 2012 Susi

    So sweet! I love it when my husband brings me chocolate… and flowers!!! It’s the greatest when they help out with the kids. I always loved seeing him asleep on the couch with one of the babies on his chest.
    Susi recently wrote…Summer MemoriesMy Profile

    • June 5, 2012 Alison

      Nothing like a man and babies!

  • June 5, 2012 jamie

    What a great reminder, Alison. Sometimes we get too overwhelmed by the world that we forget what made us fall in love in the first place.

    • June 5, 2012 Alison

      That’s right, Jamie!

  • June 5, 2012 Leslie

    So sweet! Looks like we were thinking similar thoughts…I was writing about my husband today too!
    Leslie recently wrote…{Mama Monday} RelaxedMy Profile

    • June 5, 2012 Alison

      Great minds think alike!

  • June 5, 2012 Missy

    Have you ever put a picture of him on here? I don’t remember ever seeing one!!! Love those quotes.
    Missy recently wrote…This summer I will . . .My Profile

    • June 5, 2012 Alison

      I have, on about 3 occasions? πŸ™‚

  • June 5, 2012 Stasha

    Bizarre how I just had the car bra conversation with my hubs this week and did not know that is how they call them. He is very handsome. Clearly helped him score a pretty wife.
    Stasha recently wrote…Monday ListiclesMy Profile

    • June 7, 2012 Alison

      Isn’t it wonderful, learning new things like car bras? And nice way to turn the good looks thing around!

  • June 5, 2012 Natalie

    I’m so glad your husband has a good sense of humor! It sure helps to get through the tough times πŸ™‚
    Natalie recently wrote…A Wedding Weekend!My Profile

    • June 7, 2012 Alison

      Oh yes, it sure does!

  • June 5, 2012 Megan (Best of Fates)

    Wait, husbands bring cake? I need to get me one of those.
    Megan (Best of Fates) recently wrote…Andrews Air Show (USO Volunteering Gone Lazy)My Profile

    • June 7, 2012 Alison

      Only the best ones!

  • June 6, 2012 Lady Jennie

    He is funny – the rubber bandit comment cracked me up the most.

    My husband is funny too and I love that almost no one else knows that but me because he is so reserved. I also love that he is not rash – I am rash.
    Lady Jennie recently wrote…Un Bouquet de BisousMy Profile

    • June 7, 2012 Alison

      Sweet little ‘secret’ – yay!

  • June 6, 2012 Carolyn

    Very sweet.
    I love that he bakes!
    Hope you are doing well, it seems you are!
    Carolyn recently wrote…10 Minute Microwave Brownies {Honestly, 10!}My Profile

    • June 7, 2012 Alison

      He doesn’t bake, but he does bring me baked goods!

  • June 6, 2012 Jenni Chiu

    There’s nothing like a man who can make you laugh…

  • June 6, 2012 Blond Duck

    The car bra cracked me up!
    Blond Duck recently wrote…Creative Woman of the Pond: StoritellingMy Profile

    • June 7, 2012 Alison

      Isn’t it a hilarious name for a product??

  • June 6, 2012 Kimberly

    Nibbling on the nuts is something my husband would say only he would literally mean nibbling on his nuts.
    He’s a pervert that way.
    You’re a lucky lady xox
    Kimberly recently wrote…1…2…3…BreatheMy Profile

    • June 7, 2012 Alison


      I am, I am. xo

  • June 6, 2012 Jessica

    Your husband sounds like an awesome guy! I love my husband for many of the same reasons you’ve stated when talking about your hubs. I like his humor, that he’s a great dad, and that he supports me and is my BIGGEST cheerleader.
    Jessica recently wrote…My 10k race playlist, making parent friends, & hazelaidMy Profile

    • June 7, 2012 Alison

      That’s so important, being your cheerleader. Lucky girl!

  • June 6, 2012 Natalie

    He sounds funny to me! And humor is key. Especially now, right???
    Natalie recently wrote…Revisiting Hard DecisionsMy Profile

    • June 7, 2012 Alison

      Oh yes, especially now.

  • June 9, 2012 Tonya

    Glad you got a good one. I’m pretty happy too. My husband is SO easy going and I need that. So much. He calms me in a way that no one else can. He makes me giggle too with his very dry sense of humor. We love people watching together and sometimes he doesn’t need to say anything about someone other than, “uh oh” and it cracks me up every single time.
    Tonya recently wrote…Vacation HighlightsMy Profile

    • June 9, 2012 Alison

      So glad you found your true love!

  • June 9, 2012 Amanda

    Exact same thing I love about my Hubs, and it sounds like his sense of humor is pretty similar!
    Amanda recently wrote…May MarvelousnessMy Profile

    • June 9, 2012 Alison

      Yay for us!

  • June 10, 2012 grace

    awww, I like the rare pic of your hubs. Don’t think I’ve ever seen him before. I can sort of imagine what you two would look like next to each other….and it feels like you two make an adorable couple. (so weird right, but what ISN’T weird about making friends over the internet??) =)
    grace recently wrote…The Cost of a ChildMy Profile

    • June 10, 2012 Alison

      It’s not weird at all! πŸ™‚

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