If you are gullible, you would believe me if I told you I was an awesome teenager.
Okay, I was an awesome teenager.
I was in the top class in my year (never mind that I was at the bottom of the top students). I was in the choir. I was active in after school activities, holding some fairly important posts. I played piano. I did my homework. I did not hang out in the school yard with boys (okay I was in an all-girls school, whatevs). I did not smoke. I did not drink.
You can see a ‘but’ coming, don’t you?
Here it is.
I did a lot of stupid shit too.
Most of it involves my friends, who shall remain nameless as I’m sure they’ve cleaned up their acts now, just like I have. Ahem.
There was the birthday dinner in a Thai restaurant. My friend was celebrating her 16th (or was it 17th) birthday, and her parents unwisely allowed us to dine unsupervised.
A decision they surely regret.
Let’s just say the evening ended with mayonnaise prawn on the windows.
There was also the time at a pizza place, when we decided to pretend we didn’t have any money to pay for our meal, and started pulling out coins from our pockets to “see if we have enough”. I will never forget the look of horror on the poor waitress’s face as she watched us count out our measly stash. We nearly got booted out (we did pay in the end).
And who could forget when we decided to pour ketchup into the salt and pepper shakers at this fancy restaurant who foolishly allowed four teenagers to enter their premises.
Then there was the time when a bunch of us were escorted to the manager’s office in a mall for a glass breaking incident. I swear, I wasn’t involved. I was merely a witness. PROMISE.
The doozy to this list of stupid shit I did as a teenager?
It involved an unused condom and the school principal’s car.
I’ll let your imagination run wild here.
Fortunately, I escaped unscathed and went on to grow up to be a decent adult.