posted in: Friendships, Life 79 comments

A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same. ~ Elbert Hubbard

You, the one who has seen me at my best and worst, and still stuck around. You, the one who I’ve partied with, shared a house with, cooked with, ate with, went on a crazy one-day road trip with, talked to, confided in, fought with, laughed with. It’s been more than 10 years but it doesn’t feel that long because when you have a good time together, time flies. I know we don’t see each other as much now (and very soon, not even as little as we do already, because you’re moving 4 hours drive away) but you are one of my best friends. I hope you know that, D.

I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar. ~ Robert Brault

You, the one I met pretty late in life, you are my unexpected friend. Our only commonality then was becoming mothers at almost the same time. You, who have commiserated with me for hours over toddler difficulties and never once told me to shut up. You, who bring me nourishment at a time I needed it, both physically and emotionally. You, who brought me cake when I said I needed some, taking time out from your busy life to be there for me. Thank you, L, I’m glad I met you when I did.

It takes a long time to grow an old friend. ~ John Leonard

You, the one I’ve known nearly all my life (over 30 years!) you have the title of ‘oldest friend’ in my life. The years we were not in touch or together or talking may be far greater than the years we did spend picking up where we left off, but our friendship is something I’ve never questioned or doubted. I’m so glad we found time to reconnect these past few years. Here’s to another 30 or more years, M.

I’ll lean on you and you lean on me and we’ll be okay. ~ Dave Mathews Band

You, the one I’ve never met in person. We connected immediately when we read each others’ words. It’s like we were separated at birth (only that I’m years older than you). Through this keyboard and screen, we have formed a friendship that goes beyond distance and time differences. You, who I know I will meet someday and we will hug and talk like we’ve known each other all our lives, because it sure feels that way, K.

And yes, you all survived the great Facebook friend list cleanse of 2012.

Who’s your best friend?

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Alison Lee is a former PR and marketing professional turned work-at-home mother. After a 10-year career in various PR agencies, and of the world’s biggest sports brands, Alison traded in product launches and world travel, for sippy cups, diapers, and breastfeeding. Alison's writing has been featured on Mamalode, On Parenting at The Washington Post, The Huffington Post, Everyday Family, Scary Mommy, and She is one of 35 essayists in the anthology, My Other Ex: Women’s True Stories of Leaving and Losing Friends. In 2012, she founded Little Love Media, a social media consultancy specializing in blog book tours, and because she doesn’t sleep, is an editor at BonBon Break, an online magazine. Alison lives in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia with her husband and four children (two boys and boy/ girl twins).

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  • June 27, 2012 Robbie

    This makes me think of one of my favorite quotes-Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave and impossible to forget.
    Robbie recently wrote…SOC: Telling My StoryMy Profile

    • June 28, 2012 Alison

      Oh, good one, Robbie!

  • June 27, 2012 Kimberly

    Well now I’m crying. I have found an amazing friend in you and I can’t thank you enough for always being there for me. We may live oceans apart, but you are always in my heart. I love you. xoxo
    Kimberly recently wrote…We’re Still LearningMy Profile

    • June 28, 2012 Alison

      Aw, Kimsley, I love you too! xoxo

  • June 27, 2012 Barbara

    Such a beautiful tribute to your friends!
    Barbara recently wrote…The Boys are Back in TownMy Profile

    • June 28, 2012 Alison

      Thank you Barbara!

  • June 27, 2012 Jessica

    I love this, Alison. Friends are so important in life, but I think sometimes, it’s easy to lose sight of who are friends are with the advent of technologies that make “friendships” seem so easy and disposable. But whether online or off, real friendships are the same. They’re composed of people who genuinely care, respect, and adore one another.

    • June 28, 2012 Alison

      Thank you Jessica. You’re right, technology does make friendship easy – easy to make, easy to break!

  • Oh this is lovely! I’ve got few friends but those that I have have a special place in my heart.
    Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes recently wrote…How to make your sure you enjoy your glass of wine to full effect.My Profile

    • June 28, 2012 Alison

      It’s quantity over quality at my age!

  • June 27, 2012 Jessica

    As *always*, that was beautiful. I hope you aren’t tired of me saying that because it is typically my first response to your blogs! I have made a surprising and tight friendship with the woman who tutors my dyslexic son. She is a retired teacher, older than my own mother, and I love her like a BFF. We really “get” each other and are able to share in unexpected and connecting ways – we are kindred spirits. My very best friend, however, is and always will be my baby sister.
    Jessica recently wrote…Crunchy hair and other crunchy things.My Profile

    • June 29, 2012 Alison

      I never mind when someone describes my posts are ‘beautiful’ – keep it coming! 🙂

      So glad you have a BFF, we all need one. My sister is my absolute best friend too, goes without saying.

  • June 27, 2012 angela

    Oh, that is so very lovely! You have a perfect list of all the friends a woman needs.
    angela recently wrote…Energy, PersonifiedMy Profile

    • June 29, 2012 Alison

      I do, I’m so lucky!

  • June 27, 2012 Jaime

    I love how when you have a true friend, it doesn’t matter how much time has passed. When you see/talk to each other again, it’s just like it’s always been. You’re very lucky to have your best friends.
    Jaime recently wrote…The Drive In!My Profile

    • June 29, 2012 Alison

      Yes! True friends can pick up right where they left off – that’s the beauty of it.

  • June 27, 2012 Jenni Chiu

    Love it…
    and the Facebook cleanse… needs to happen every so often. Too much clutter is bad for the soul. 🙂
    Jenni Chiu recently wrote…MommyNaniBoobooTube – Making You Infinitely Cooler.My Profile

    • June 29, 2012 Alison

      Yes, exactly! I feel…. light (maybe even a little high).

  • June 27, 2012 Mark

    I’m 44 now and I still have Friends that I met when I was Four. How freaky is that!
    Mark recently wrote…My Secret GardenMy Profile

    • June 29, 2012 Alison

      That’s because you’re irresistible. Truth.

  • June 28, 2012 Leighann

    So great to have people we can talk to and count on
    Leighann recently wrote…Fighting Sharks in the Passport OfficeMy Profile

    • June 29, 2012 Alison

      It is. Absolutely.

  • June 28, 2012 Elaine

    This is so cool because I can put a name (or two) by each one of those descriptions of your friends. There are SO important in this life. Great post, my FRIEND! ;D
    Elaine recently wrote…You need some Fresh Produce!My Profile

    • June 29, 2012 Alison

      Thank you Elaine. I’m glad you have good friends too – a girl needs her girlfriends!

  • June 28, 2012 Natalie

    This is so sweet! It’s amazing how our friendships can vary person to person but it all fits together so nicely.
    Natalie recently wrote…It’s HOT, HOT, HOT!My Profile

    • June 29, 2012 Alison

      That is absolutely right! And you know something? None of these 4 ladies know each other. Weird, right?

  • June 28, 2012 AnnMarie

    I love this post. I’m having a tough time trusting my friends in real life right now. I’ve been hurt a lot lately and it’s been the friends that I have met through blogging that are holding me up, making me giggle and showing an enormous amount of support. I have 4 sisters that are my best friends, too. 🙂
    AnnMarie recently wrote…Wisconsin DellsMy Profile

    • June 29, 2012 Alison

      FOUR sisters? Lady, you are blessed. My sister is my absolute best friend 🙂 And I’m sorry your real life friends aren’t quite there for you – thank goodness for blogging besties!

  • June 28, 2012 Robin

    Such blessings. I miss my friends. 🙁
    Robin recently wrote…Imagination and the Giant’s ForestMy Profile

    • June 29, 2012 Alison

      🙁 I hope you will form firm friendships where you are now. For now, you have your bloggy buddies!

  • June 28, 2012 vanita

    this was a beautiful tribute to your friends girl. absolutely loved it. hold on tight, because good solid friends are hard to find.
    vanita recently wrote…The Busy LifeMy Profile

    • June 29, 2012 Alison

      Hanging onto them SO TIGHT, it’s not funny 🙂

  • June 28, 2012 Stripeyhorse

    Oh so lovely – I work for a mental health friendship program – I am totally stealing your beautiful friendship quotes!

    • June 29, 2012 Alison

      Steal away! I er, borrowed them anyway 🙂

  • Having jus spent the last two weeks with friends I love this piece resonated deeply with me. Beautiful. Thanks for the clear-eyed reminder. Erin
    Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms recently wrote…Happy Half-BLirthday!My Profile

    • June 29, 2012 Alison

      Thank you Erin! And lucky you, spending 2 weeks with friends. I need to take more time out to be with mine.

  • June 28, 2012 Katie

    I can relate to each and every one of these types of friends.

    this is such a beautiful collection of letters and love to your very best friends.

    (and yes, K is pretty damn awesome. I love bloggy besties!)
    Katie recently wrote…rain, rain, go away. on second thought…My Profile

    • June 29, 2012 Alison

      I love how you saw this as love letters – I guess they are!

      (bloggy besties are the best!)

  • June 28, 2012 Julie

    Look at you all sappy! This is wonderful. Sometimes we forget to stop and tell our friends that we remember what they’ve done for us, and this is a great reminder.

    Also, I love that you and K are close. One of the best gifts blogging ever gave me was a friend like a sister.
    Julie recently wrote…What a way to beat the heat! #iPPPMy Profile

    • June 29, 2012 Alison

      Yes, occasionally, I do get all soft, squishy and sappy.

      K is one of the best ‘outcomes’ of blogging that I’ve had. 🙂

  • June 28, 2012 Christine

    Love this. Each of those different kind of friends really do come into your life at just the right moment, no?
    Christine recently wrote…Back on the water: Stand Up Paddleboard (SUP)My Profile

    • June 29, 2012 Alison

      Yes, absolutely. I’m very lucky.

  • June 28, 2012 Tonya

    Two of my favorite things, quotes and friends. Nice job. And I LOVE that you included a DMB quote. I have friends from all walks of life and it’s interesting to see who sticks around for what.
    Tonya recently wrote…This Time Last YearMy Profile

    • June 29, 2012 Alison

      Thanks Tonya! When I saw that DMB quote, I actually thought of you, remembering your love for them 🙂

  • June 28, 2012 Erin

    No one knows you like your girl friends . . . they are the best!

    You totally made me tear up on this one!
    Erin recently wrote…Love/Hate Link UpMy Profile

    • June 29, 2012 Alison

      They certainly are!

  • June 28, 2012 Kiddothings

    What a lovely tribute to your friends.

    Glad I survived the cleanse 🙂
    Kiddothings recently wrote…Picnesday – Hmmm…My Profile

    • June 29, 2012 Alison

      Thanks G! 🙂

  • June 28, 2012 tracy

    Friends are truly the best. xo
    tracy recently wrote…ConfidenceMy Profile

    • June 29, 2012 Alison

      They are. I’m glad you’re my friend. xo

  • June 28, 2012 Kir

    once again, you take every single emotion in me and make it WEEP out of me, this was so beautiful.
    honestly, I just feel lucky to be your friend. TRULY and FOREVER.
    Kir recently wrote…Trifecta: At 33My Profile

    • June 29, 2012 Alison

      And I, you. xo

  • June 28, 2012 Runnermom-jen

    Awww, this got me all teary-eyed. Beautiful, Alison.
    Runnermom-jen recently wrote…Be HappyMy Profile

    • June 29, 2012 Alison

      Thank you, Jen.

  • June 28, 2012 Maureen

    Beautifully written, Alison. I can feel your love and how beautiful your friendships are.

    • June 29, 2012 Alison

      Thank you Maureen. These particular friendships ARE beautiful.

  • June 28, 2012 Susi

    So sweet. Friends are so important… old, new, in-between… they all matter. A wonderful post to your besties!!! 🙂
    Susi recently wrote…Scenes from the neighborhoodMy Profile

    • June 29, 2012 Alison

      Thank you Susi! They do matter. Friends are family we choose for ourselves after all, yes?

  • June 29, 2012 Leslie

    Love this post. Friends are so important!
    Leslie recently wrote…Pardon My Absence…My Profile

    • June 29, 2012 Alison

      They are, absolutely important.

  • June 29, 2012 Sue


    Not sure I can pinpoint a *best* friend. Like you, I have a few different kinds of besties for different reasons. I like it that way.
    Sue recently wrote…On Parenthood and Grime BlindersMy Profile

    • June 29, 2012 Alison

      It’s really the best way, isn’t it?

  • June 29, 2012 Kristin

    Although I was not mentioned here, I’m also flattered to have survived the Great Facebook Friend List Cleanse of 2012. If only because I know it means you either really like me or think my status updates are awesome (because I know we’re not related). 😉
    Kristin recently wrote…Thanks for the MammariesMy Profile

    • June 29, 2012 Alison

      You, I really like. Your status updates are absolutely awesome. I’m keeping you around for a while, my friend!

  • June 29, 2012 julie gardner

    As I was reading off your descriptions, I was ticking my own boxes of friends who meet each criteria…

    We are lucky ladies indeed to love and be loved by such wonderful friends.

    Thanks so much.

    For the reminder.
    For being my friend.
    For keeping me on Facebook 😉

    julie gardner recently wrote…Today I’m just plain excited…My Profile

    • June 29, 2012 Alison

      I would NEVER unfriend you from Facebook. Ever. Pinky promise. xo

  • June 29, 2012 MonkeyMomma

    MonkeyMomma recently wrote…Car Carts and Bumper StickersMy Profile

    • June 29, 2012 Alison

      Thank you so much!

  • June 29, 2012 Tina

    I so needed to read this since I’m going through a rough time w/one of my closest friends. Thanks for this 🙂
    Tina recently wrote…How To Carve A T-Rex WatermelonMy Profile

    • June 29, 2012 Alison

      Oh Tina, sorry to hear that. I hope you work it out. xo

  • June 29, 2012 Galit Breen

    You’re so very lucky to have so many friend-loves in your life. xo
    Galit Breen recently wrote…So Very SorryMy Profile

    • June 29, 2012 Alison

      Friend-loves – yes, that! And I am blessed.

      Also, thank YOU for being my friend. Truly.

  • July 1, 2012 Jessica

    You will have a great time with Assycakes when you finally meet her in person.
    Jessica recently wrote…Practicing In Manual PhotobombMy Profile

    • July 1, 2012 Alison

      I know it!

  • July 1, 2012 Kimberly

    I am so glad I made the cleanse. Whew…talk about meat sweats.
    I need to give my FB a laxative for real.
    Kimberly recently wrote…Secret Mommy-hood Confession SaturdayMy Profile

    • July 1, 2012 Alison

      I could never unfriend you. Who else would say stuff like meat sweats?

  • July 3, 2012 Lady Jennie

    I have a couple best friends from my church in NY and the one in Paris. I have a best friend from my old neighborhood who’s 12 years younger than me and as staunch a Muslim as I am a Christian, and yet we’re super close.

    And I’m starting to make new ones here. But I get the sense that unless they live here for at least ten years there will always be a barrier to intimacy. The French can be hard to get to know.
    Lady Jennie recently wrote…Deductive ReasoningMy Profile

    • July 4, 2012 Alison

      It’s fabulous when age, race and religion make no matter when it comes to being friends. That’s what it’s about!

  • July 11, 2012 Nikky44

    Loved this post!!!
    Nikky44 recently wrote…Reader’s Love and appreciationMy Profile

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