What’s Going On?

posted in: Motherhood 117 comments

The past week has been somewhat of a haze. It’s a hectic kind of chaos, with ever-shifting priorities and schedules turned upside down.

Our new normal.

Except not quite, as we haven’t found out rhythm just yet. We are going with the day-to-day (maybe even minute-to-minute) flow. We have help from family, which is permanent, but again, we’re not sure what will work long term. Right now, we’re just doing what it takes to keep our heads above water.

The toddler has been spending a lot more time with his grandparents, while I recuperate and regain my strength, and try to nurture a newborn. I miss my firstborn. We try to spend the first two hours of the day together before he heads out for the day to spend time with two people who love him very much. He loves his little brother but is a little exuberant, and I’m not sure if he understands when I tell him not to squeeze his brother’s legs. But I see him sometimes, gently stroking the baby’s arm and kissing his head, and I think, he knows to be gentle, he does. Most of the time. And I remember, he is only 2.

2 year old

My second son in his first few days, was pronounced as considerably easier than his brother as an infant. I think it’s because I’m a little more experienced now, and probably a lot more patient. However, the past 3 days or so, he’s been increasingly fussy and always at 8 o’clock at night. It’s a frustrating 90 minutes to two hours of checking and rechecking diapers, nursing, burping, puking (him, not me), rocking, singing, talking, questioning (me, not him), and finally sleep, blessed sleep. I suspect he overeats. I have a ‘problem’ of oversupply.

Which means sore, rock hard boobs that find no relief in nursing. My son can’t drink that much, my breasts don’t understand. When he does, he gets tummy trouble and is fussy, and we suffer a frustrating 8 o’clock. And I walk around the whole day with boobs bigger than his head, constantly self-expressing a little here and there, and even resorting to an ice pack to find some relief. Please, I beg my boobs, please adjust to what the baby needs.

It’s not all doom and gloom. And I’m not complaining. We’re all adjusting. For the most part, our days are filled with sweet baby smells, involuntary smiles during sleep, wide-eyed curiosity and good sleeps in the daytime and most of the night. My mornings are filled with toddler-isms, a constant singing of ‘Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star’ and ‘Down By The Station’, Blues Clues, big toddler hugs and kisses on the head and spilled chocolate milk.

7 day old baby

And once both children are quiet in bed, it’s my time. I spend it catching up with the husband, who has been so helpful with the kids, and keeping me grounded and sane. I go online to catch up on some blog reading and commenting, because my online friends keep me sane as well. And I write, because I need to. This is my sanctuary. Is that selfish? Yes it is, and it’s okay.

What’s going on with you?

Memories Captured is here again and we have Kimberly Muro Designs as our sponsor this month! Kimberly is a dear friend of mine who blogs over at Mama’s Monologues – not only is she a wonderful writer, she’s a kick ass designer. Our one lucky linker this month will win a complete blog makeover from Kimberly, worth $245. The linky is open from May 14-18 (closes 9pm Eastern). Link up now!


Alison
Alison Lee is a former PR and marketing professional turned work-at-home mother. After a 10-year career in various PR agencies, and of the world’s biggest sports brands, Alison traded in product launches and world travel, for sippy cups, diapers, and breastfeeding. Alison's writing has been featured on Mamalode, On Parenting at The Washington Post, The Huffington Post, Everyday Family, Scary Mommy, and DrGreene.com. She is one of 35 essayists in the anthology, My Other Ex: Women’s True Stories of Leaving and Losing Friends. In 2012, she founded Little Love Media, a social media consultancy specializing in blog book tours, and because she doesn’t sleep, is an editor at BonBon Break, an online magazine. Alison lives in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia with her husband and four children (two boys and boy/ girl twins).
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  • May 16, 2012 Krystyn

    Oh that new normal is such an adjustment!

    Our second had the screams from like 7-9pm and then just went to sleep. We did (and do for #3) gripe water when I remember…and I was told to google the “I love you” massage and that really seems to help. What also helped was making sure they were eating every 2-3 hours during the day…

    (How’s this for unsolicited advice?)

    I remember missing my older girls, too, it’s tough in the beginning, but you get back to it quickly:)
    Krystyn recently wrote…Happy 3 Months, Sweet E. ClaireMy Profile

    • May 16, 2012 Alison

      Krystyn, I’ll take any advice I can get! I feel like a first-time mom sometimes 🙂

  • May 16, 2012 Julie

    Your poor boobs. I’m sorry. 🙁 I remember that part more than I remember the no sleep.

    It sounds like you’re holding up well!
    Julie recently wrote…To honor and be honoredMy Profile

    • May 16, 2012 Alison

      I have help and support, thank goodness!

      The boobs – I hope it’s something that will resolve soon once the little one gets better at latching and feeding and eating enough for him.

  • May 16, 2012 Robbie

    My oldest are 25 months apart and I remember the new normal too well. It is difficult b/c the oldest just isn’t able to understand and verbalize. You are very fortunate to have help from family. Enjoy your boys!
    Robbie recently wrote…Ten Things about MotherhoodMy Profile

    • May 16, 2012 Alison

      I am indeed fortunate!

  • May 16, 2012 Christine

    Not selfish at all. You need your space/place too. The new normal will settle into a more routine normal (as you know) but I definitely remember feeling unsettled during those first weeks trying to balance the older one and his set schedule and the younger one and his lack of schedule/predictability. Thank goodness for loving grandparents who are nearby.
    Christine recently wrote…Injury Update – Progress!My Profile

    • May 16, 2012 Alison

      I’m so grateful for my in laws, truly. I know we’ll settle in eventually, can’t wait!

  • May 16, 2012 Life As Wife

    Dear Alison’s boobs:

    Please give her a break. She’s my friend and you need to give her and scrumplet a break.

    Respectfully,
    Sam
    Life As Wife recently wrote…Family Summer of FunMy Profile

    • May 16, 2012 Alison

      Hahahahaha!! Thanks Sam, I’ve passed on the message 🙂

  • May 16, 2012 Kristen

    It isn’t selfish at all. We mamas all need a bit of something for ourselves to make it through those days where are boobs are so swollen with breast milk that we could put out a fire with them if released from the pressure!
    Try frozen peas…they mold and form and don’t completely freeze you to death either.
    Kristen recently wrote…Will The Spark IgniteMy Profile

    • May 16, 2012 Alison

      And I happen to have a bag of frozen peas in the freezer!

  • May 16, 2012 vanita

    with Natahsa being 2.5 i still remember her first week home and her brother’s amazement. he is only 14 months older. he didn’t talk much at the time but he knew how to say “baby go home now?” we didn’t have anyone to help at the time so he spent every moment with me and his sister, learning to share mommy. it was a great time. Natasha also had that fussiness. we were able to get through those first few weeks by allowing her to sleep in the bouncy chair. being semi upright helped a lot. we got the idea from when damian was 6 weeks old and started in with colic. he spent almost 2 months sleeping in the car seat.
    i’m so happy for you girl. i’m sorry about the boobs though. i kind of remember a cocoa butter soothing cream…
    vanita recently wrote…How To Embrace the Google PenguinMy Profile

    • May 16, 2012 Alison

      Awesome that you managed 2 kids under 3 all by yourself! I’m so lucky my in laws are nearby and happy to help.

      Thanks for the advice!

  • May 16, 2012 Elaine

    You are blessed to have the help but I’m sorry for the 8 o’clock witching hour. Those first few weeks were always a little rough. You (and your b00bs!) will adjust soon, I’m sure. Thinking of you and baby (and toddler!)
    Elaine recently wrote…Trading it in for JoyMy Profile

    • May 16, 2012 Alison

      Yes, we will adjust. My boobs will adjust. I am just repeating that over and over and over 🙂

  • May 16, 2012 Kimberly

    Those first few weeks of adjustment are hard. I think Monkey knows, too. He has a sweet heart.
    Kimberly recently wrote…Just What The Doctor OrderedMy Profile

    • May 16, 2012 Alison

      Oh he knows. And he’s doing remarkably well under the circumstances.

  • May 16, 2012 Jess

    Your normal will be constantly changing for awhile but eventually you will get a rhythm.
    Jess recently wrote…To The Menace Of Northwest RenoMy Profile

    • May 16, 2012 Alison

      Yes, that is true. Can’t wait til we get into a rhythm.

  • May 16, 2012 Delilah

    Oh yes I remember trying to find that new normal. It’s such an adjustment in the beginning until it all starts to flow. I had oversupply issues with my son and it took several weeks before my body figured it out. Husband missed those size 36K boobies once they were gone. Me…not so much. Ha! He’s adorable and every picture makes my ovaries twitch!
    Delilah recently wrote…So What?My Profile

    • May 16, 2012 Alison

      I figure it’d take a few weeks for my boobs to get the message – sooner rather than later though! And thank you!

  • May 16, 2012 Tammi

    I think finding my rhythm and balance with my second child was hard at first too, but after a few weeks we all figured out that balance. Your sons are adorable and congrats on your new little one!
    Tammi recently wrote…The Unknowns Of TomorrowMy Profile

    • May 16, 2012 Alison

      Yes, I can’t wait until we find a good balance. And thank you!

  • May 16, 2012 Amanda

    Such an exciting time! I’m sure the haze will soon lift – just keep enjoying the sweet moments.

    Have you tried cold cabbage leaves for relief? Not only does the cold feel good, there’s something in the cabbage that actually helps relieve oversupply.
    Amanda recently wrote…Baby Bucket ListMy Profile

    • May 16, 2012 Alison

      I used cabbage leaves when I was weaning the Monkey. Was advised it’s best not to use them now when we’re trying to establish good breastfeeding habits. Will have to try other things first!

  • May 16, 2012 Stasha

    You are rocking this two boy family thing. I know it is an adjustment but you are rocking it. I get fussy around 8 too 😉
    Stasha recently wrote…Wordless WednesdayMy Profile

    • May 16, 2012 Alison

      Hah! So chocolate can fix your fussiness?

  • May 16, 2012 Mirjam

    I’ve been thinking about you! This first time can be so hectic and there’s hardly time to yourself. It usually takes about three weeks to find a new some sort of structure. You are right, Monkey’s just two. As long as you never leave him alone with the baby it will be fine.
    And you will discover soon enough how tough those second baby’s can be. I remember how my son sometimes forgot that the baby was not a puppet, while being totally sweet and gentle sometimes.
    And oh, the boob thing, I had that! Three times..
    Whatever you do, don’t use a breast pump just now. Take your baby of your breast for a moment when the milk starts flowing. (nursing on your back helps too.)
    And keep your baby up for at least 15 min after every feed, to let all the air out.
    And the best tip I can give you is to make sure you have alone time with Monkey, even if it’s 5 min a day. Even if it’s reading the same book together every day, that will help him adjust to all of the changes. He will be sure that however hectic, whatever is changed, he will get those five minutes of mommy all to himself.
    So, I did it again, commented with a novel :/
    Mirjam recently wrote…I’m a toddler and I know itMy Profile

    • May 16, 2012 Alison

      I don’t mind your novels, Mirjam!

      Thank you for all the advice. Don’t worry, I haven’t whipped out the breast pump yet.

      Love the advice for Monkey – yes, I do try and spend one-on-one time with him every day. Even if it’s just sitting together on the sofa watching TV. Good perspective on Monkey knowing he has that time with me every day.

  • May 16, 2012 Katie E

    It sounds like you’re doing well – I have some vague memories of life with a two-year-old and a newborn, and I think it was just like you’ve described here. And it will keep getting easier!
    Katie E recently wrote…Memories Captured – MayMy Profile

    • May 16, 2012 Alison

      Thank goodness for that!

  • May 16, 2012 Erin

    You are not selfish!!! You need things for yourself too. Things will get better one day at a time, I’m sure you are aware of this. Those little guys are so stinking cute!!!! Good luck and take care of yourself 🙂
    Erin recently wrote…I was simply HIS MommyMy Profile

    • May 16, 2012 Alison

      Yes, I do know 🙂 And thank you!

  • May 16, 2012 Mark

    Sorry for your humongous and killer boobs. I’m sure your husband is totally suffering, huh? Just don’t go seeking relief in the ice-cream section at the grocery store.
    Happy Wednesday!
    m.
    Mark recently wrote…LOSTMy Profile

    • May 16, 2012 Alison

      Hahahahaha! Thank you for always making me laugh, my friend.

  • May 16, 2012 JDaniel4's Mom

    What wonderful help you have! I hope the eight o’clock adventures end soon.
    JDaniel4’s Mom recently wrote…We Get It: Self Centered ChildrenMy Profile

    • May 16, 2012 Alison

      I’m so fortunate my in laws are around and happy to help!

  • May 16, 2012 tracy

    So glad you have some family around to help. Been thinking about you..and your boobs..maybe a little more about your boobs.
    tracy recently wrote…If You Give a Mom an iPad…My Profile

    • May 16, 2012 Alison

      Hahahaha! You can think about my boobs anytime.

  • May 16, 2012 Mrs. Weber

    So glad to hear you are adjusting – it’s not an easy job that’s for sure, but it will get better each day, right? Thinking of you! And if you can get ahold of a pump – that would help the rock hardness a lot!
    Mrs. Weber recently wrote…A Mother’s Day Tea PartyMy Profile

    • May 17, 2012 Alison

      Yes, it MUST get better each day, or I’ll go insane 🙂

      The milk supply issue seems to have resolved itself!!

  • Welcome to life with two kids! You’ll do just fine don’t worry.
    About the boobs : could you pump and donate to a ‘milk bank’? We have this in Belgium, if you have a surplus of milk you can donate the extra to the milk bank at the hospital and they use it to feed those children who were born prematurely.
    And your sons are so cute I could eat them whole.
    Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes recently wrote…The hidden evil within : Fruit Ice creamMy Profile

    • May 17, 2012 Alison

      I don’t know about any milk banks here. And my supply seems to have adjusted accordingly since this post published!

      I nom on my children all the time.

  • May 16, 2012 Kimberly

    I am queen of colic.
    I was an ER pediatric nurse and dealt with it long before Chunky came a long.
    Have you tried heating a blanket in the dryer and wrapping it around his belly?
    I have tons of tips…email me girl….I’ll overwhelm the shit out of your brain with tips…wait I didn’t mean to scare you.
    SEriously though. Email me.
    Kimberly recently wrote…Poppy: It’s Not Just A FlowerMy Profile

    • May 17, 2012 Alison

      Thank you for the tips. Love your face. xo

  • May 16, 2012 AnnMarie

    I love seeing your boys. So cute. I just wrote about my own selfishness of writing. I so get that. I remember those days of missing the other kids. It was worse when my oldest was 3 and the twins came along. He still needed me but my hands were full. I learned to really appreciate him when we did have our moments alone and I think he did too. It was a tough transition with a lot of spilled chocolate milk (I love that). Glad you are doing well!
    “What’s going on?” A whole lot of chaos over here (which is why I am stealing some sanity right now)!

    • May 17, 2012 Alison

      Thank you AnnMarie! Oh I can’t even imagine TWINS, I am just keeping my head above water with ONE baby. I’m doing as well as can be 🙂

  • May 16, 2012 angela

    You sound like you’re doing wonderfully (now if your boobs will just figure it out…)

    And that photo of Scrumplet reminds me of your Memories Captured photo! So cute 🙂

    • May 17, 2012 Alison

      I think my boobs MAY have figured it out. After this post was published, they seem to hurt less!

      And oh yes, we do have the same expression! I didn’t even realize 🙂

  • May 16, 2012 Mom Photographer (

    oh… how I wish I had some help after the second was born. And yes my daughter,too, understand what gentle means but more often she forgets about it with the new one. she kisses her sister head and stroke her back but EVERY SINGLE MINUTE I have to remind her: “be gentle, be gentle…”.
    It will bet better, Alison, just hang in there!
    Mom Photographer ( recently wrote…MomPhotographer: @denisermt thant you for the mention to my blog post 🙂 have a wonderful day!My Profile

    • May 17, 2012 Alison

      Yes, I have to say “be gentle” all the time! So sorry you didn’t have help, I am so fortunate.

  • May 16, 2012 molly

    First of all, CONGRATS! I said it on FB but not on here.

    I went through the exact same transition period with my boys. Although it is wonderful to welcome a new child into your life it can also be very difficult to get a new rythym and make your biggest one understand they are here to stay.

    I’m sure everyone says this (and you already know it) but it does get easier with time.

    Enjoy this amazing new journey!
    molly recently wrote…The MailMy Profile

    • May 17, 2012 Alison

      Thank you Molly! Can’t wait for it to get easier 🙂

  • May 16, 2012 Kristin

    I guess pumping wouldn’t really help with the over-supply since that would only cause your overactive boobs to keep producing too much milk, huh? But maybe if you just did a little bit at a time to ease the pressure?

    I began pumping after a month, in part to start building a supply for when I went back to work and, in part, so that my husband could be able to enjoy the bonding experience of feeding Lil’ Bit, too – he started giving her a nightly bottle of breast milk around five weeks old, which also happened to be when she started STTN. (No idea if the two were related.) In any case, I’m not sure how set you are on exclusive breastfeeding, but I just thought I’d throw pumping out there as a possible option. I never had the “problem” of over-supply, so I’m no help whatsoever.

    Glad to hear you guys are all adjusting. Those first few weeks with a newborn are so hard; I can’t even imagine throwing a toddler into the mix as well! But you’ll hit your stride soon – I have faith. 🙂
    Kristin recently wrote…So Much DayMy Profile

    • May 17, 2012 Alison

      Yes, pumping will just let my boobs think they need to make more. Thanks for your suggestion though! And the issue seems to have resolved itself – less soreness, yay!

      I’m definitely exclusively breastfeeding, just like the first time. Since I don’t have to work 🙂

      It’s hard, but it’s rewarding and there are so many sweet moments.

  • May 16, 2012 Katie

    the transition is quite difficult. I mourned my time with Eddie for a few weeks after Charlie was here. And then it got better. It did. Our time changed and was even more special. And I now I treasure my time with each boy for the very reason that I know time is such a beast and will steal these little boys from me and replace them with big boys…and then pre-teens…and then teens…and then men.

    You are doing fabulously, momma. And yes, take your “sane” time. It’s selfish in a way that it will keep you going and keep you happy. And that is important to your family!
    Katie recently wrote…Being RecruitedMy Profile

    • May 17, 2012 Alison

      I’m trying my hardest to make time for the toddler. One on one time. And he hangs out with me when I nurse the small one. He’s easily distracted so I give him my phone 🙂 He just wants to be near me and the baby, so I think that works. At least for now.

      And thank you! Being selfish is okay. Yes, it is.

  • May 17, 2012 Julia

    Good luck with your “new normal” your boys are too cute.
    Julia recently wrote…Kid’s DayMy Profile

    • May 17, 2012 Alison

      Thanks Julia!

  • May 17, 2012 julie gardner

    When you wrote that part about your boobs being bigger than his head, I couldn’t help laughing. I so remember thinking, “This giant breast must be terrifying!” when I’d shove it in Jack or Karly’s face. Ah, the grace of motherhood.

    I remember with Karly, I’d been directed by the pediatrician to nurse her constantly and on demand since she was born under-sized. This scared me into worrying she wasn’t feeding enough because she was fussy and rejected my nursings often.

    So. I would put her in my arms and do the mom bounce (more slowly, kind of like lunges to the left and to the right) which calmed her while she nursed.

    I did this All. The. Time. For months. Can you believe that crap? Oh what our kids do to us. What we do for our kids.

    I’d completely blocked that out, but you reminded me of the lengths we go to to secure our babies’ health and happiness.

    On the upside, I lost my pregnancy weight quickly. All those damn lunges. And Karly thrived.

    So. Silver linings and hugs coming your way from me to you, my friend. Hang in there with your massive boobies. All will be well.

    Eventually.
    julie gardner recently wrote…Then and NowMy Profile

    • May 17, 2012 Alison

      Oh Julie. Your comment made me giggle. Shoving a giant boob in the baby’s face. *snigger*

      My supply seems to have adjusted since I wrote this, so that’s good. The baby is still struggling to latch properly so we’re working on it. Also, stupid hiccups. It annoys him so much.

      And I found out that he loves to be bounced. I discovered that today when I started bouncing on the bed and he fell asleep promptly! Oh and I tried the lunges. My knee wouldn’t have any of it.

      I’m hopeful on the pregnancy weight loss. Yay.

      And thank you. My massive boobies thank you. And love you.

  • May 17, 2012 Susi

    Those first few weeks are always a little hectic, a little confusing. Hopefully, you’ll be able to get to some kind of routine soon. He’s beautiful your little Scrumplet. And I’m sure the Toddler loves spending extra time with the grand-parents.
    Susi recently wrote…A Swinging Good TimeMy Profile

    • May 17, 2012 Alison

      Thank you Susi. I know for a fact that the grandparents love the extra time with the toddler 🙂

  • May 17, 2012 Runnermom-jen

    Not selfish at all!!!! It’s so good to hear you have help. Those first few weeks with your newborn are priceless.
    I had an “overabundance” of milk too…I hope your boobs adjust soon 😉
    So glad to hear everything is going well for you my sweet friend.
    xo
    Runnermom-jen recently wrote…The GiftsMy Profile

    • May 17, 2012 Alison

      My boobs appear to have adjusted right after this post published!

  • May 17, 2012 Carolyn

    Sweet update. I’m glad it is going so well.

    I found it took us a bit to get into a routine because newborns don’t really have one, you know? But we all adjusted, and I think well.
    Carolyn recently wrote…Marriage Takes WorkMy Profile

    • May 17, 2012 Alison

      Yes, newborns really have no schedule! We will adjust. Soon.

  • May 17, 2012 Shelly Miller

    I am new here and so impressed with your ability to write after just having a baby and other children at your feet. I couldn’t even have a cohesive thought after giving birth. what an inspiration you are. Thanks for visiting me. so glad to find you.
    Shelly Miller recently wrote…Mind the Menagerie After the GapMy Profile

    • May 17, 2012 Alison

      Thank you Shelly! I have to make time out to write – I need to write, it’s a sanity saver from the chaos. Thank you for coming by!

  • May 17, 2012 Lola

    Congratulations Alison! What a gorgeous baby! Reading your post brings me back…way back. I’m a bit nostalgic, I will admit. Unfortunately my eggs are a little past their expiration date 🙁
    No more babies for this mama!
    Lola recently wrote…At Least I’m Trying To Read Something.My Profile

    • May 17, 2012 Alison

      Thank you Lola!

      I think my egg factory is closed too.

  • May 17, 2012 Jessica

    Yes! It’s perfectly okay. It’s perfectly normal.

    Reading this I was reminded of our first two weeks back home. It was rough. I felt happy, yes, but also a bit nostalgic for how things once were, how easy they once seemed. It was in those moments that I would remind myself to breathe.

    I hope you are breathing now. I thought I’d share that post that I wrote during that time just in case you needed a reminder:

    http://www.mommyhoodnextright.com/2011/10/just-remember-to-breathe/

    Get some rest! And be well! I hope your supply issues balance themselves out, soon!
    Jessica recently wrote…Stay at Home Mom vs. Working MomMy Profile

    • May 17, 2012 Alison

      Thank you Jessica, I remember reading that post. And thank you for the reminder. I truly need it 🙂

  • May 17, 2012 Missy

    Sounds like for the most part, you are adjusting well. As far as the boob/supply issue – have you thought about pumping the extra? It’ll give you relief and you can freeze it to have for him if he needs it. I built up a 9 month supply that way because I had a similar issue. It might have had something to do with the 3000 calories a day I ate at that time. 🙂
    Missy recently wrote…Yep. I DO Judge and I’m Not Sorry for itMy Profile

    • May 17, 2012 Alison

      Well, the boob issue appears to have resolved since this post was published!

  • May 17, 2012 Leslie

    I can only imagine that it must be pretty crazy around your house right now. Eventually you’ll find a groove for the whole family. (btw, if the littlest one is consistently puking after eating, it could also be reflux. We had to give Ranitidine/Zantac to T for almost her first full year…and even as a young toddler she would sometimes puke up a little when playing. If it doesn’t resolve after your supply evens out, you might want to ask your doc)
    Leslie recently wrote…Teacher Appreciation PrintablesMy Profile

    • May 17, 2012 Alison

      I’m waiting for that groove!

      The little one isn’t puking much, just a couple of times. It’s mostly gas and hiccups – he’s still struggling with latching properly which is a problem, but totally fixable. Wish me luck!

  • May 17, 2012 Ado

    What a great post. I’ve been thinking of you and wondering how you are doing. It’s a rough transition going from 1 – 2. I found it v. different than the firstborn experience where all you really had to do was think of the two of you (and ok, the husband). But factoring in the feelings of the firstborn + your feelings of missing that “couple” you once were – tricky. And it’s funny although I remember everything about that firstborn experience, the 2nd is all a blur. On one hand I was more relaxed w. #2 but there was an increased anxiety and worry around “how do I handle TWO” – “I’m outnumbered.” Also, there was less attention on me since I’d already done it before so people didn’t know how fragile I really was. I’m blathering now. Just…hang in there. It’s ok to feel shocked occasionally and to complain because it can be hard until you find your groove!
    Ado recently wrote…Chicken Little Was RightMy Profile

    • May 17, 2012 Alison

      It’s not been easy, no. Mostly, I feel guilty for not being able to be there as much for Monkey. I know he’s getting plenty of attention, but I know he misses me, as much as I miss him. We’re getting to a point where we are starting to get used to the new normal – where at least the time I AM with him, I’m fully present (not like before, where I find myself distracted with my phone occasionally).

      So, yes, we’re finding our groove, slowly but surely.

      • May 17, 2012 Ado

        That missing each other is one of the gray areas of parenting where you may never quite figure out what the answer is, you know? To give you some perspective Fi is 10 and she still misses that “us.” As do I. But I get so involved and pulled away tending to the “group” dynamic that it gets pushed aside. And I know it’s still there. So what I do: occasionally (not all the time, just when I can) I make special “just me and mommy” dates where I am all hers (or all Ella’s). Even tho I don’t do this often – it really goes a long way to help diminish my guilt and increase her sense of “us-ness.”
        Ado recently wrote…Gift Of The GabMy Profile

  • May 17, 2012 Natalie

    I’m seeing a little peek into my future…oh those first few months are definitely the hardest…I better get game face on!
    Natalie recently wrote…The Beach-Bike and Golf StyleMy Profile

    • May 17, 2012 Alison

      Yes, you are!! You’ll be okay, I know it.

  • May 18, 2012 Coffee Lovin' Mom

    So I read both posts and commented about both on the last one. Glad to hear it’s resolving itself – my advice probably would have gotten you bigger boobs! Your boys have the sweetest faces – sweet sweet sweet!
    Coffee Lovin’ Mom recently wrote…They Really Do Love Each OtherMy Profile

    • May 18, 2012 Alison

      Thank you, they’re totally nom-worthy.

  • May 18, 2012 Not a Perfect Mom

    it always took me about a month to find my groove…
    hang in there…
    and I always had to pump out the extra or my boobs were on fire
    Not a Perfect Mom recently wrote…Another Example of Not a Perfect MomnessMy Profile

    • May 18, 2012 Alison

      A month? Okay, we’re a third of the way there!

  • May 18, 2012 Lady Jennie

    So sorry for the advice but have you tried the cabbage leaves?

    You’re so lucky to have help! And your kids are so sweet. Isn’t life good, even when it’s not?
    Lady Jennie recently wrote…Senior (Citizen) HottieMy Profile

    • May 18, 2012 Alison

      I was told cabbage leaves might be too drastic, as it might stop the production altogether (I did use them for weaning the first time round). But my boobs are behaving better now, thank goodness!

      I am indeed lucky to have help. Life IS good.

  • May 18, 2012 Charlotte

    It’s so wonderful to see you blogging again. I have no idea how you find the time but kudos to you for getting it all done, girl 🙂 And your little ones are just so precious. Enjoy every moment, as I know you’re doing. Hope things calm down some with the whole breastfeeding sitch. I wish I had some advice to offer, but I’m sure there are many mommas on here who can help a bit more 🙂

    XOXO and am always thinking of you and sending good vibes.
    Charlotte recently wrote…About a dressMy Profile

    • May 18, 2012 Alison

      The boobing thing has calmed down somewhat. I think they’re going through an adjustment period too 🙂

      I do all things blogging when the kids are sleeping! Thank you for your good vibes, they’re much appreciated as always.

  • May 18, 2012 Nikky44

    You Have so much love for your little family Alison. That is so nice!!
    Nikky44 recently wrote…If I blink, I will be punishedMy Profile

    • May 18, 2012 Alison

      Thank you Nikky!

  • May 18, 2012 Ann

    Hi Allison! I’m glad that things are going smoothly for you! I’ve been busy cooking, visiting with friends, having lunch and on Monday, I’ll be heading to Disney for a week. Then I’m headed out of town for most of June…traveling with Honey Bunny!

    • May 18, 2012 Alison

      Yay for vacations, have a great time!

  • May 18, 2012 Jessica

    It sounds like you are finding a rhythm already. I had the same boob problem, I used to pump after I got them to sleep and freeze it for later. Our freezer was an insane milk tank.
    Jessica recently wrote…Running AheadMy Profile

    • May 18, 2012 Alison

      Y’know, I haven’t even pulled out my breast pump! I’m hoping to hold off on pumping for a couple more weeks, let the boobs adjust naturally first.

  • May 18, 2012 Elizabeth

    So sorry about the boobs! Ugh. Hope it gets better asap. And by the way…what adorable boys you have! =)
    Elizabeth recently wrote…Being a Mom Totally RocksMy Profile

    • May 18, 2012 Alison

      It’s already a little better, thanks Elizabeth!

  • May 18, 2012 Laura

    You and me. I get it. 8 o’clock is my frustrating hour(s) too. Often I *just* get the toddler in bed and then I spend the next three hours trying to get the baby to sleep. We nurse, we burp, he falls asleep, I transfer him to his bed and BAM he’s awake. I try to put a soother in his mouth – he cries, I cry.

    And I *get* the adjustment. Oh boy. In fact, I have a post written just like this waiting to be published tomorrow morning. Me? I find I need to adjust more than the toddler does. I thought it would be hardest for him. He is doing awesome. Me? Not so much.

    Thinking about you. I KNOW you’re doing awesome!
    Laura recently wrote…Extremely Mom EnoughMy Profile

    • May 18, 2012 Alison

      I’m so sorry you’re going through the 8 o’clock witching hour. I hope things get better for you both real soon.

      Can’t wait to read your post about adjusting.

  • May 18, 2012 Natalie

    I too have oversupply. And it is an issue. I made it 4 weeks before I started pumping. It didn’t matter–I still pump 5-10 extra ounces a day and have firehouse boobs. Sorry to overshare.

    Hang in there. It took me 4 months. Post coming about that.
    Natalie recently wrote…Essence of Now (May 18, 2012)My Profile

    • May 18, 2012 Alison

      I wrote about my breasts here, so there’s no such thing as oversharing 🙂 Sorry you have the same problem. I’m trying to hold out on pumping as well, at least until he’s a month old. I want my boobs to have a chance to adjust naturally.

      Can’t wait for your post!

  • May 18, 2012 KalleyC

    Those are two very handsome boys. I can relate the over supply when I was breastfeeding my daughter. I sometimes even had to remove it from her mouth when I had a gush of a let down (didn’t want the poor child choking).
    KalleyC recently wrote…Promises I Intend to Keep to SelfMy Profile

    • May 18, 2012 Alison

      Seems like more people had problems with oversupply than no supply (which is a good problem!). And thank you.

  • May 19, 2012 Alexandra

    Isn’t that the truest truth?

    I write because it wouldn’t be my life without it.

    Without blogging, I’d be back to being as lonely as I was before I discovered the internet 4 years ago.

    I can’t even think about how sad I was, so alone, before I found my people: we all want to belong and be understand.

    Writing does that for me: I feel part of something, and I can take on anything when I know there is someone I can tweet or email at 3 a.m., to say, “Hey, can you help me out with a little support?”

    We are so lucky we started our blogs.

    I hear you, mama, I am grateful for everyone I’ve met. Only good things have come my way from my internet life. Such good things.

    Kisses to your babies.
    Alexandra recently wrote…Me, Molly Ringwald, Quail Eggs, and The MothMy Profile

    • May 20, 2012 Alison

      You’re one of the good things that has happened to me because of blogging, and for that I thank you. xo

  • May 19, 2012 Adrienne

    Oh girl! These days seem like they were yesterday for me. Reading this made me miss those sore, over abundant boobs! Haha
    You’ll find your rhythm. Having help in those first weeks is so nice! Love the pics.
    Adrienne recently wrote…I’ve got a cure for the #2012BBC Blues!My Profile

    • May 20, 2012 Alison

      You can have them sore boobs any day! Yes, we’re so lucky to have help. Thank. God.

  • May 20, 2012 Julia

    I think you are doing a great job with your adjustment. I don’t know what it is like to have two, but I so remember the breastfeeding, rock hard boobs, no sleep, newborn stage. It will all fall into place soon.
    Julia recently wrote…Stop and SeeMy Profile

    • May 20, 2012 Alison

      I sure hope so!

  • May 22, 2012 Galit Breen

    One day at a time girlfriend, it’s all we can do right?

    xo
    Galit Breen recently wrote…Sunshine and Cookies and FriendshipMy Profile

    • May 22, 2012 Alison

      Oh yes, one day at a time. xo

  • May 22, 2012 Tonya

    Oh, your poor boobs.

    Hope you find a good rhythm to your days soon. xoxo
    Tonya recently wrote…We Are EnemiesMy Profile

    • May 22, 2012 Alison

      Fortunately my boobs have adjusted. As for the rhythm, we’re not quite there yet 🙂 xo

  • May 27, 2012 Robin

    Not selfish at all. You need it – we all do. (But sometimes it’s hard to get, hence the late comment.)
    Robin recently wrote…Exhibit AMy Profile

    • May 27, 2012 Alison

      Completely understand!

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