The past week has been somewhat of a haze. It’s a hectic kind of chaos, with ever-shifting priorities and schedules turned upside down.
Our new normal.
Except not quite, as we haven’t found out rhythm just yet. We are going with the day-to-day (maybe even minute-to-minute) flow. We have help from family, which is permanent, but again, we’re not sure what will work long term. Right now, we’re just doing what it takes to keep our heads above water.
The toddler has been spending a lot more time with his grandparents, while I recuperate and regain my strength, and try to nurture a newborn. I miss my firstborn. We try to spend the first two hours of the day together before he heads out for the day to spend time with two people who love him very much. He loves his little brother but is a little exuberant, and I’m not sure if he understands when I tell him not to squeeze his brother’s legs. But I see him sometimes, gently stroking the baby’s arm and kissing his head, and I think, he knows to be gentle, he does. Most of the time. And I remember, he is only 2.
My second son in his first few days, was pronounced as considerably easier than his brother as an infant. I think it’s because I’m a little more experienced now, and probably a lot more patient. However, the past 3 days or so, he’s been increasingly fussy and always at 8 o’clock at night. It’s a frustrating 90 minutes to two hours of checking and rechecking diapers, nursing, burping, puking (him, not me), rocking, singing, talking, questioning (me, not him), and finally sleep, blessed sleep. I suspect he overeats. I have a ‘problem’ of oversupply.
Which means sore, rock hard boobs that find no relief in nursing. My son can’t drink that much, my breasts don’t understand. When he does, he gets tummy trouble and is fussy, and we suffer a frustrating 8 o’clock. And I walk around the whole day with boobs bigger than his head, constantly self-expressing a little here and there, and even resorting to an ice pack to find some relief. Please, I beg my boobs, please adjust to what the baby needs.
It’s not all doom and gloom. And I’m not complaining. We’re all adjusting. For the most part, our days are filled with sweet baby smells, involuntary smiles during sleep, wide-eyed curiosity and good sleeps in the daytime and most of the night. My mornings are filled with toddler-isms, a constant singing of ‘Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star’ and ‘Down By The Station’, Blues Clues, big toddler hugs and kisses on the head and spilled chocolate milk.
And once both children are quiet in bed, it’s my time. I spend it catching up with the husband, who has been so helpful with the kids, and keeping me grounded and sane. I go online to catch up on some blog reading and commenting, because my online friends keep me sane as well. And I write, because I need to. This is my sanctuary. Is that selfish? Yes it is, and it’s okay.
What’s going on with you?
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