Yes, yes I am.
I love shopping. I love bringing home new things. I love taking the tags off. I love looking at my new purchases. I love wearing my new purchases right away (if they’re for me). I love putting new clothes on my toddler. I can’t wait for him to see his new toys/ crayons/ paints.
Hi, my name is Alison and I’m a shopaholic.
BUT, I am an angry shopper.
Specifically, other shoppers make me angry. Furious. Want-to-ram-them-with-a-shopping-cart-kind-of-angry.
These people make me want to rage and throw Cheerios at them.
1. Malaysians LOVE Ikea. LOVE. They head there, family in tow, just to browse the massive aisles, sit on the couches of their dream living room, open drawers in their dream bathrooms and stroke the counters in their dream kitchens. They also walk really slowly, hogging the already narrow walkways with their large strollers, two trolleys and they insist on stopping midway while walking because they spot a pretty towel. Me? I know exactly what I need from Ikea. I have a list, I check it off and I make my way to the necessary aisle to get what I need (and it’s freaking far, of course). And the last thing I need IS SOME MUPPET BLOCKING MY WAY.
2. Malls in Malaysia are stories high. Which means escalators galore. Someone tell me, why do you have to STOP RIGHT AT THE BOTTOM OR THE TOP OF THE ESCALATOR? Move along! Do you not know it’s dangerous? That people have no choice but to bump into you because the escalator IS MOVING at all times? GET OUT OF MY WAY!!
3. Ladies in dressing rooms – WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE? Why are you taking so long? Are you taking photos of yourself in each outfit to upload on Facebook to ask for your friends’ opinions as to which top/ skirt/ dress you should buy? Then wait for responses? GTFO!! (that means get the eff out, ahem)
4. Public toilets in malls – just thinking about it makes me want to gag. They’re smelly, wet, toilet paper everywhere and the queues are long. Also, why don’t people flush? And why do people leave bloody used tampons ON TOP OF THE DISPOSAL BIN? The problem with being pregnant and shopping is, a toilet stop is inevitable. Don’t even suggest that I don’t go out for 9 months.
5. Checkout cashiers, please, please, please, stop talking to your co-workers and serve the 15 people waiting to pay. I don’t care if you have no idea what you want for dinner, or whose husband is cheating on whom. Do you not realize I may just abandon this purchase because it’s taking too freaking long???? DO YOUR JOB!!
You may say, Alison, just shop online like normal people. Save yourself some grief and enjoy the delicious anticipation of the UPS/ FedEx/ delivery service of your choice, to show up at your doorstep with your gorgeous purchase.
If I could, I would. Sadly, most of the things I want online are in the US. Which equals high shipping costs, possible taxes and 4-6 weeks wait for delivery. And some brands don’t even ship here. Which makes me very stabby. And angry.
Shopping in person, in malls, is what I’m left with.
So yes, I’m an angry shopper. BITE ME.
Are you an angry shopper? Or a zen one? Or you don’t shop at all? (shock horror!)
Linking up with a great community of writers at yeah write, you should too!