I’m An Angry Shopper

posted in: Humor, Rant 164 comments

Yes, yes I am.

I love shopping. I love bringing home new things. I love taking the tags off. I love looking at my new purchases. I love wearing my new purchases right away (if they’re for me). I love putting new clothes on my toddler. I can’t wait for him to see his new toys/ crayons/ paints.

Hi, my name is Alison and I’m a shopaholic.

BUT, I am an angry shopper.

Specifically, other shoppers make me angry. Furious. Want-to-ram-them-with-a-shopping-cart-kind-of-angry.

Angry face

This is my stabby face

These people make me want to rage and throw Cheerios at them.

1. Malaysians LOVE Ikea. LOVE. They head there, family in tow, just to browse the massive aisles, sit on the couches of their dream living room, open drawers in their dream bathrooms and stroke the counters in their dream kitchens. They also walk really slowly, hogging the already narrow walkways with their large strollers, two trolleys and they insist on stopping midway while walking because they spot a pretty towel. Me? I know exactly what I need from Ikea. I have a list, I check it off and I make my way to the necessary aisle to get what I need (and it’s freaking far, of course). And the last thing I need IS SOME MUPPET BLOCKING MY WAY.

2. Malls in Malaysia are stories high. Which means escalators galore. Someone tell me, why do you have to STOP RIGHT AT THE BOTTOM OR THE TOP OF THE ESCALATOR? Move along! Do you not know it’s dangerous? That people have no choice but to bump into you because the escalator IS MOVING at all times? GET OUT OF MY WAY!!

3. Ladies in dressing rooms – WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE? Why are you taking so long? Are you taking photos of yourself in each outfit to upload on Facebook to ask for your friends’ opinions as to which top/ skirt/ dress you should buy? Then wait for responses? GTFO!! (that means get the eff out, ahem)

4. Public toilets in malls – just thinking about it makes me want to gag. They’re smelly, wet, toilet paper everywhere and the queues are long. Also, why don’t people flush? And why do people leave bloody used tampons ON TOP OF THE DISPOSAL BIN? The problem with being pregnant and shopping is, a toilet stop is inevitable. Don’t even suggest that I don’t go out for 9 months.

5. Checkout cashiers, please, please, please, stop talking to your co-workers and serve the 15 people waiting to pay. I don’t care if you have no idea what you want for dinner, or whose husband is cheating on whom. Do you not realize I may just abandon this purchase because it’s taking too freaking long???? DO YOUR JOB!!

You may say, Alison, just shop online like normal people. Save yourself some grief and enjoy the delicious anticipation of the UPS/ FedEx/ delivery service of your choice, to show up at your doorstep with your gorgeous purchase.

If I could, I would. Sadly, most of the things I want online are in the US. Which equals high shipping costs, possible taxes and 4-6 weeks wait for delivery. And some brands don’t even ship here. Which makes me very stabby. And angry.

Shopping in person, in malls, is what I’m left with.

So yes, I’m an angry shopper. BITE ME.

Are you an angry shopper? Or a zen one? Or you don’t shop at all? (shock horror!)

Linking up with a great community of writers at yeah write, you should too!

Link up now for Memories Captured with Galit of These Little Waves and I, and stand to win one of two MyMemories Suite Software for all your digital scrapbooking needs! The link up is open from April 16 – 20 (closes 9PM Eastern).

Alison
Alison Lee is a former PR and marketing professional turned work-at-home mother. After a 10-year career in various PR agencies, and of the world’s biggest sports brands, Alison traded in product launches and world travel, for sippy cups, diapers, and breastfeeding. Alison's writing has been featured on Mamalode, On Parenting at The Washington Post, The Huffington Post, Everyday Family, Scary Mommy, and DrGreene.com. She is one of 35 essayists in the anthology, My Other Ex: Women’s True Stories of Leaving and Losing Friends. In 2012, she founded Little Love Media, a social media consultancy specializing in blog book tours, and because she doesn’t sleep, is an editor at BonBon Break, an online magazine. Alison lives in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia with her husband and four children (two boys and boy/ girl twins).
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  • I love your stabby face πŸ™‚

    People in the U.S. shop at Walmart and Costco in HERDS. They do not shop independently of the herd.

    Makes me stabby, too.
    Kimberly at Rubber Chicken Madness recently wrote…Just Be Enough: FaithMy Profile

    • April 18, 2012 Alison

      What is up with these big chain stores that attract that particular group of people in large numbers????

  • April 18, 2012 Sarah

    I am with you! I mainly though get pissed at people at grocery stores. My main pet peeve is when someone parks their cart on one side of the aisle and stands on the other side of the aisle. They are then taking up TWO paths of a 3 path aisle. OR the ones that park their carts right in the middle! Come on!
    Sarah recently wrote…Top 10: Highlights From Baby Boy’s BaptismMy Profile

    • April 18, 2012 Alison

      Yes!!!! I rage at people like that. Get out of my way already, lady!!

  • April 18, 2012 Ado

    For starters, this is great news that shopping sucks in Malaysia (all those people on escalators – you have crowd rage!) – because we know that you are moving to heaven in Australia where there is tons of room!
    Secondly, if you need to you are welcome to send things to my house or I can order stuff for you here and then we can ship it over to you in one big humungous shipment – just let me know. I do this all the time for Irish relatives. (-:
    Ado recently wrote…Can I Have A Marching Band, Please?My Profile

    • April 18, 2012 Alison

      Yes, Australian shoppers seem to be a little bit more civilized, and they usually just go to their neighborhood mall rather than all crowd at one or two places, so there’s that!

      And it’s so nice of you to offer shipping stuff to me! I’m not sure my husband would be keen on that because it’d just mean I’ll buy more, ahem.

  • April 18, 2012 Jessica

    Just wait until you are potty training and your toddler has to pee in every public toilet they find. You will love shopping then.
    Jessica recently wrote…Taking The Kids HomeMy Profile

    • April 18, 2012 Alison

      I’ll get his dad to do the toilet duties in public – problem solved!!

  • April 18, 2012 Jackie

    Love that “Stabby Face” and for the record, I do believe all IKEA shoppers are like those in Malaysia. I just can’t make those peeps go any quicker!
    (Have you seen 500 days of Summer?)
    Jackie recently wrote…GoneMy Profile

    • April 18, 2012 Alison

      Hee! What is up with people who go to IKEA just to wander about and get in the way?? And no, I haven’t watched 500 Days of Summer – is it full of angry shoppers? πŸ™‚

  • April 18, 2012 Charlotte

    LOL, I love this post. Though I’m sorry that shopping makes you angry and stabby. Me too which is why I do most of my shopping online. Don’t even ASK me to step foot in a mall around the holidays. I just can’t.

    Sounds like shopping in Malaysia is very similar to shopping in New York. Except that I don’t think anyone’s ever done the stop at the end of a moving escalator thing to me yet.
    Charlotte recently wrote…sharing my words elsewhere and new social experimentMy Profile

    • April 18, 2012 Alison

      I shopped in NY and I loved it!! Maybe because I just love New York πŸ™‚

  • April 18, 2012 Bonnie Way

    I’m an angry shopper too. I shop at Ikea the way you do – make list, get in, get out. My husband shops like those other people – browse the entire store, check out the kitchens and the furniture and the plant pots and the picture frames and all that other stuff we CAN’T buy and AREN’T ON THE LIST. πŸ™‚ And I have no clue why it takes some people FOREVER to change. It’s not like most dressing rooms are that comfy… And being Canadian, I can identify with you on the shipping. Or the waiting for it to get here, because somehow that line drawn on the map seems to be impossible to cross for postal vans. Anyway. πŸ™‚
    Bonnie Way recently wrote…Child-Led WeaningMy Profile

    • April 18, 2012 Alison

      Yay I’m not the only angry shopper!!

  • April 18, 2012 Mayor Gia

    Hahahha shopping with other people makes me angry too. Especially lots of grocery carts in food stores. I prefer shopping when the stores are empty.
    Mayor Gia recently wrote…Things that Make Boyfriend Angry: a Dinner AdventureMy Profile

    • April 18, 2012 Alison

      I wish I had that luxury, sigh.

  • April 18, 2012 Jennifer Worrell

    I SO hate it when people get in my way at Hell Mart. Especially when I have two screaming children in my cart, and I need to get OUT of the flipping store. I got nervous just reading your post! Great job!
    Jennifer Worrell recently wrote…Screw Tax Dayβ€”Enjoy Cheese Instead!My Profile

    • April 18, 2012 Alison

      Haha thanks Jennifer!

  • April 18, 2012 Stasha

    I used to hit the “Night market” in Petaling where being angry is perfectly acceptable when carrying cash. No?
    Stasha recently wrote…Wordless WednesdayMy Profile

    • April 18, 2012 Alison

      Hah! Being angry is acceptable in Petaling Street, yes πŸ™‚

  • April 18, 2012 Rach (DonutsMama)

    I get super annoyed with people who are walking along and then all of a sudden just stop right where they are or turn around and run into people. All sorts of traffic jams right there. Lately, I have NOT appreciated the people who give me “the look” when I wheel my stroller in a store–like I’m taking up too much space. Get over it people!
    Rach (DonutsMama) recently wrote…It’s Not Easy Being Green…Or Is It?My Profile

    • April 18, 2012 Alison

      OMG yes! I used to get looks like that when I would wheel stroller into a restaurant. Like, what, people? I can’t go out with my kid??

  • April 18, 2012 Laura

    I am right there with you, Alison! Shopping is an addiction, one that makes me want to drop kick HARD. Good luck navigating those infuriating shopping situations. AND THE WET, DRIPPY BATHROOMS. Gah.
    Laura recently wrote…The Mothers of Boys Club (A Featured Post for Studio 30+)My Profile

    • April 18, 2012 Alison

      Just thinking about those horrible bathrooms is giving me the heebie jeebies!

  • April 18, 2012 Ann

    You are SO funny! I tend to be clueless in malls and stores. I also avoid them if possible – I am NOT a shopper unless it’s a grocery store, book store or kitchen store. If I go to the mall, I’ll be at the movie theater!

    I’d rather poke myself in the eye than clothes shop!

    ….and I think I might stop at the bottom of escalators because I’m SO grateful I made it!
    Ann recently wrote…Refrigerator PicklesMy Profile

    • April 18, 2012 Alison

      Hahaha that last line just made me snort πŸ™‚

  • April 18, 2012 Catheryn

    I would have to bite myself too then. I agree with you, hands and legs!

    People here should really learn to be more considerate. tsk tsk.
    Catheryn recently wrote…Diaper Is Not Your Toilet!My Profile

    • April 18, 2012 Alison

      Yeah, totally.

  • April 18, 2012 Kimberly

    If you and I ever went out together, we’d get our butts kicked. Everyone I come in contact with makes me stabby. And? I can never keep my mouth shut. I’m notorious for making sarcastic side comments.
    Kimberly recently wrote…Cheating Is Not DeservedMy Profile

    • April 18, 2012 Alison

      I roll my eyes loudly. Yes, we’ll totally get our butts kicked! But we’ll have fun πŸ™‚

  • April 18, 2012 XLMIC

    I am a zen shopper when alone…somewhat stabby when accompanied by my kids. They stress me out…or rather other people’s opinion of how many there are and how they behave stresses me out πŸ˜›
    XLMIC recently wrote…Some Things I Don’t Understand…My Profile

    • April 18, 2012 Alison

      Haha! Shopping alone is key then!

  • April 18, 2012 jamie

    Oh, a fellow Malaysian! It’s so great to find out through SITS and yeahwrite! I hear you Alison. Each time we travel, we always compare with Malaysia and how ‘behind’ we are in our services and civic-mindedness no matter how much we propagate our achievements.
    jamie recently wrote…WIN A Specially Imported MUJI PensMy Profile

    • April 18, 2012 Alison

      Well, I didn’t want to make any comparisons but now that you’ve pointed it out…. πŸ™‚

  • April 18, 2012 Mama and the City

    Because I love shopping, I zen out most of the time. But, there is the occasional I-am-on-a-mission purchase, so all of you get with the program now!
    Mama and the City recently wrote…Mother Knows Best?My Profile

    • April 18, 2012 Alison

      I am only zen when the stores are empty πŸ™‚

  • April 18, 2012 Erin

    Rude people annoy me, too! Wow, the dirty bathroom … that’s just GROSS! Why can’t people just pick up after themselves?!
    Erin recently wrote…New TricksMy Profile

    • April 18, 2012 Alison

      Right?? I actually have recurring nightmares about public toilets.

  • April 18, 2012 tracy

    When you say things like ‘trolley’ and ‘queue’ I get like so totally hot for you.

    Also – if you ever need something from the US I am happy to ship it to you. I ship things overseas daily and am happy to do it for you anytime. xo
    tracy recently wrote…Be A Good FriendMy Profile

    • April 18, 2012 Alison

      Hee! It’s my British education shining through.

      And you’re so awesomely sweet, I will keep that in mind (you will probably be getting emails from me soon, hah!).

  • April 18, 2012 Mamamzungu

    Ha! I totally hear you. Living abroad I too am denied the pleasure of online shopping. Oh well, that probably saves us several thousand a year. I think the biggest frustration, like you mentioned, is the waiting. Why the hell is everyone else so leisurely? Whether I have somewhere to be or not, I kind of like to do things as efficiently as possible, but most of the rest of the world, clearly does not share this urgency. : (
    Mamamzungu recently wrote…FourMy Profile

    • April 18, 2012 Alison

      That’s the problem – everyone seems like they have all the time in the world. I just want to get my stuff!!!

  • Malaysia and Belgium have a lot in common. Especially the love for Ikea and the rude checkout workers. Urrrghhhhhh.
    Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes recently wrote…Easter Remash and Lemon-Frangipane tartletsMy Profile

    • April 18, 2012 Alison

      It’s kinda nice to know I’m not alone πŸ™‚

  • April 18, 2012 JDaniel4's Mom

    These things trouble me too. I have found I have to shop when JDaniel is in preschool so, he won’t see his mom’s dark side.
    JDaniel4’s Mom recently wrote…Earth Day Activity- Backyard Nature Center TableMy Profile

    • April 18, 2012 Alison

      Haha!! That’s pretty funny πŸ™‚

  • April 18, 2012 Hatton

    Ha! This made me laugh- and as the marketing manager of a shopping center, love that you still go to actual stores to shop!

    • April 18, 2012 Alison

      I don’t really have a choice πŸ™‚

  • April 18, 2012 Natalie

    Preach on sista! I hate when people stop in the middle of the aisle or walkway…so annoying! And the bathrooms? Why do people insist on not flushing and trashing it? Don’t they have more respect than that?
    Natalie recently wrote…Sneak Peek of Nursery Bedding FabricMy Profile

    • April 18, 2012 Alison

      I really don’t get the public bathroom phenomenon – seriously!

  • April 18, 2012 Asianmommy

    Haha! People are much the same in the US, too.
    Asianmommy recently wrote…Washi TapeMy Profile

    • April 18, 2012 Alison

      So there are many angry shoppers out there! πŸ™‚

  • April 18, 2012 Jessica

    Oh Alison, I *love* this post – and feel such a giant kinship with you. YES I am an angry shopper! I have *things to do* people – I’m in a hurry! Maybe that is the universal cry of most mommies who shop…our time is limited in a serious way. I would absolutely adore going shopping with you (were we not half way around the world from one another). When girlfriends ask me to shop, I make an excuse because I know they are the IKEA dawdlers you speak of and I. Can’t. Handle. It.
    Jessica recently wrote…Tales of eleven…My Profile

    • April 18, 2012 Alison

      If we shop together, we’ll have a plan devised and be out of there in no time!!! πŸ™‚

  • April 18, 2012 Janice

    Oh, I’m an angry shopper. Oh yes.

    The cashier thing is an especial pet peeve of mine. I just love standing there while they are chatting. I know my grocery store clerks by their habits, and I could almost cheer when I see some of my favorites at the check-out, and whoever invented the U-scan should get the Nobel prize.

    My biggest problem is that I’m always in a huge hurry and no one else seems to care about it. Oh well.
    Janice recently wrote…Gotta Go–My Shows Are OnMy Profile

    • April 18, 2012 Alison

      Haha, I know what you mean. I see other people in line who look like they can just stand there all day and I wonder, aren’t you just dying to get checked out already?

  • April 18, 2012 Stacey

    Yes, I’m a stabby shopper too, which is why I rarely leave my house to buy things. (Now aware of that luxury.) I rarely have more than 30 seconds in a store before one of my children is getting into something they shouldn’t, and if I’m by myself it’s even worse because I have to get through a long list of stuff I’ve saved to buy sans children. Maybe we need to get t-shirts to warn people… πŸ™‚
    Stacey recently wrote…Letter to My SonMy Profile

    • April 18, 2012 Alison

      Yes, t-shirts! “I’m An Angry Shopper – Move Out Of My Way!” πŸ™‚

  • April 18, 2012 Kimberly

    You look like you could totally cut a ho in that picture. Go you.
    I could never picture you angry. Nope.
    I’m with you on the angry shopping. I hate people. Well not all people just shoppers.
    And what the hell are girls doing in the dressing room?
    Kimberly recently wrote…She Was My WorldMy Profile

    • April 18, 2012 Alison

      I don’t understand the dressing room thing – people are like, hanging out in there. ARGH.

  • April 18, 2012 Erin Threlfall

    HAHAH!!! LOVE this! You just reminded me of shopping days in Korea. I used to say that I had ‘cart rage.’ People in Korea have NO clue how to properly navigate the lanes of Costco- or any grocery store, for that matter. On so many occasions, I wanted to snatch my purchase out if the hands of the cashier who had to wrap it in 5,000 layers of tissue paper and ribbon before placing it in bag after effing bag. And the store shouters who wore the head set and SHOUTED about the sale on fish…. Good Lord I wanted to strangle them with their microphone wires. Sorry… Didn’t mean to start my own blog post on your wall, you just got me started on something here. πŸ™‚ Thanks for sharing your stabby face.
    Erin Threlfall recently wrote…Five Things: Beckie’s Lessons That Linger (repost)My Profile

    • April 18, 2012 Alison

      OMG the tissue paper wrapping and what not – seriously, is that totally necessary?? And what about the ones who just take FOREVER to give change??

      Hey you can go on and on, I don’t mind πŸ™‚ And you’re welcome.

  • April 18, 2012 Anna

    i pretty much just shop online. though i owe my daughters a trip to the mall, and today is the day we are going. gah. i guess i will try and find solace in the fact they still want to go shopping with me, that ain’t gonna last forever!
    Anna recently wrote…Mother Earth to Oriental Trading: Don’t Try to Friend Me On FacebookMy Profile

    • April 18, 2012 Alison

      That is true! I hope you have a much more pleasant experience than I usually do πŸ™‚

  • April 18, 2012 Krystyn

    I am very thankful for online shopping..I’m an angry shopper, too. I don’t like crowds or people in my space!
    Krystyn recently wrote…Did somebody say…My Profile

    • April 19, 2012 Alison

      Oh, online shopping. My dream!

  • April 18, 2012 Laura

    I too am an angry shopper. I find shopping stressful for many of these reasons, which is why I avoid it like the plague! I am NOT a shopaholic! I hate trying to find something that will look good on me, I hate trying to find the perfect gift for someone, I hate stressing over how much money I should or should not be spending.

    My real shopping anger comes out at the grocery store. Seriously people?! Is that your cart sitting in the middle of the aisle, making it so that NO ONE can pass?! Seriously? Are you walking super slowly, talking on your cell phone, causing a traffic jam behind you? UGH! People at the grocery store seem to be so inconsiderate it drives me nuts!!!!

    Thanks for giving me an opportunity to vent this morning! πŸ˜€
    Laura recently wrote…Pregnancy PlateauMy Profile

    • April 19, 2012 Alison

      Haha, venting is good for the soul! And I agree, grocery store shopping totally stresses me out. Which is why I resent having to go once a week. Gah!

  • April 18, 2012 Abby

    Arrrrgh. The person who stops in the middle of the aisle to talk to the rest of their entourage, making it impossible to pass = the biggest asshats on the planet. Agreed.
    Abby recently wrote…Weekend Warriors (An Illustrated Abby Gabs)My Profile

    • April 19, 2012 Alison

      OMG and there are so many of them out there!

  • Your stabby face is PRICELESS.

    Shopping angers me…but I can’t help doing it because I love it so dang much. Ok, I misspoke. SHOPPERS anger me, and so do sales assistants and mall designs and parking lot designs and really poorly reinforced shopping bags.

    I mean, what’s the deal with that. You want me to buy a boatload of merchandise from you but as soon as I leave the store, the handle breaks off? NO. I don’t like it at all.

    • April 19, 2012 Alison

      Oh geez, I’ve had that happen to me too, like, WTF?

      I now bring my own shopping bags. Because I’m so er, green.

  • April 18, 2012 KalleyC

    Here I thought I was the only angry shopper. I can’t stand shopping, but still I have to do it. The malls are the worse, especially if it’s something for me. If I’m going shopping for someone else, then I’m a bit calmer (until I see the lines), but if its for me…I feel like I’m in hell.

    Public bathrooms are HORRIBLE. I don’t get it, why is it so hard to flush? What’s worse is to have to use a bathroom that’s for both men and women. It’s like the men pee three feet from the toliet and the rest of the floor is wet. Ugh.
    KalleyC recently wrote…Distraction ManiaMy Profile

    • April 19, 2012 Alison

      Eeek, unisex toilets! Just seeing a men’s urinal makes me gag. And the smell…. ewwwww.

  • April 18, 2012 Katie

    I just get angry with the general public. I feel like there are so many people who are not aware of their surroundings and act like dummies when they are out shopping or whatever. It’s maddening!
    Katie recently wrote…The Book of Ruth {book review}My Profile

    • April 19, 2012 Alison

      It is TOTALLY maddening!

  • April 19, 2012 Christine

    hahahaha! This is awesome. I am a bit of an angry shopper myself. It’s a rare occasion when I can be zen with the masses shopping in NYC. I am so with you on the escalators and cashiers. Come on people! Common sense please!
    Christine recently wrote…Memories Captured: Bag of TricksMy Profile

    • April 19, 2012 Alison

      See, common sense isn’t so common after all!! Sigh.

  • April 19, 2012 Mirjam

    Hahahahaha! I believed you as soon as you said: “Muppet blocking my way..”
    I am a totally relaxed shopper, but not a stupid one, I would NEVER block you. πŸ˜‰
    Mirjam recently wrote…For the love of natureMy Profile

    • April 19, 2012 Alison

      Hah you better not or I’ll ram you with my shopping cart!! πŸ™‚

  • April 19, 2012 Louise Ducote

    Alison, this isn’t related to your post but I just have to say that you are the cutest pregnant lady! I love the pics. Re shopping, you couldn’t PAY me to go to the mall. I’d rather wear rags than face the horror; I shop online or at Goodwill, but I’m just not a shopper at heart.
    Louise Ducote recently wrote…Say LessMy Profile

    • April 19, 2012 Alison

      Thank you Louise, you’re very sweet!

      It helps to not be a shopper, then you don’t get angry. But I love shopping. Sigh. I just need to go when there isn’t anyone else there!

  • April 19, 2012 Mel

    I am like you. Perfect word! STABBY! I cannot do it. I just want to get in and out. I hate the escalators, especially when I have both kids stumbling and bumbling to get on. ARGH!!
    Mel recently wrote…I DON’T QUINOAMy Profile

    • April 19, 2012 Alison

      Oh escalators. My 2 year old LOVES escalators. It’s a bloody safety hazard!

  • April 19, 2012 Runnermom-jen

    Haha! Oh, Alison. You are so funny! I love the picture to go along…I would NOT like to cross you at the bottom of an escalator or a crowded mall πŸ˜‰
    Runnermom-jen recently wrote…Easter Picture Mishaps…My Profile

    • April 19, 2012 Alison

      Yeah you better not or I might ram you, haha!

  • April 19, 2012 Mark

    This made me chuckle. And believe me, I need that in my life right now.
    Especially about the folks on escalators. I think even people using escalators should also be walking on them as they move. It’s just so lazy to stand there and wait until you have to get off. Move to the side, people and let others walk!!!!
    m.

    • April 19, 2012 Alison

      I love making you chuckle. And that you used the word ‘chuckle’.

      I totally walk on escalators too! Except there are muppets who are standing on both sides of the darn thing!! Rude AND lazy.

  • April 19, 2012 Cynthia M

    Wow! None of that EVER happens in America. πŸ˜‰
    Cynthia M recently wrote…Camera Crazy CynthiaMy Profile

    • April 19, 2012 Alison

      Hahaha!! I have to say, I’ve shopped in America and I’m less antsy there. πŸ™‚

  • April 19, 2012 Karine

    HA! I hate shopping, especially grocery shopping. People are just too darn annoying. So I just don’t shop… that is, until we have only 1 carrot left in the fridge and all my underwear have either mysteriously gone missing or are just so threadbare that they cant be called clothes anymore. Great post!
    Karine recently wrote…No Creaming… Culinary or OtherwiseMy Profile

    • April 19, 2012 Alison

      I hate grocery shopping too. All these people just meandering in the aisles, while I’m trying to get all the stuff on my list checked off! Stabby.

  • April 19, 2012 Miranda

    I completely agree with everything you said! And the cashier thing. That is one of my biggest pet peeves. I worked at a grocery store in high school and it was part of our training that if we were ever caught having personal conversations while waiting on customers, we could be fired immediately. So I especially can’t stand that. Also, I love your photo of your stabby face. πŸ™‚
    Miranda recently wrote…The Race that Defied the Laws of NatureMy Profile

    • April 19, 2012 Alison

      Yeah what is up with the personal conversations??? And thank you πŸ™‚

  • April 19, 2012 Anna

    Oh my gosh, I love to shop as well but people constantly in the way – yes, I get outraged as well. I think the thing that makes me the most mad are the rude checkout people who ignore you or talk to co-workers and act like you are bothering them at home by wanting to buy something. Brings out a road rage kind of anger in me – haha! Wow, maybe I should shop more online. I love Amazon for that too but some things you just have to go in a store for. Anyway, I feel for you and loved your post πŸ™‚
    Anna recently wrote…Still A PadawanMy Profile

    • April 19, 2012 Alison

      Yes, sometimes you just NEED to go to the store. And I’m always ready to be zen, but there’s always some idiot who’ll piss me off. Road rage type anger, yes!! And thank you πŸ™‚

  • April 19, 2012 My Inner Chick

    I’m not an angry shopper…
    as long as I can stop for a glass of wine on my journey <3

    Love your angry face photo!
    My Inner Chick recently wrote…My Favorite Commercial, Gaga, & 50 Shades of GreyMy Profile

    • April 19, 2012 Alison

      Haha, no wonder I have to make coffee/ cookie stops when I shop. Need the sugar to keep going and level headed πŸ™‚

  • April 19, 2012 stephanie

    Funny post, Alison. And I love that photo. I have to say it is too bad, as you point out, that you can’t get the stuff you need/want online. The reasons you state above are the reasons I am an online shopper. I really dislike the whole shopping experience. I’m with you on that.
    stephanie recently wrote…Books for Babes..My Profile

    • April 19, 2012 Alison

      I need to look into this online thing more carefully, anything to save me stressing out! πŸ™‚

  • April 19, 2012 Jessica

    This post is funny but so very true! IKEA shoppers here in the states are the same way. It’s like 50% of the shoppers go to shop and the other 50% are there to just look around and eat and stand in the way of my stroller. It’s sad. But kind of funny, too. hehehe.
    Jessica recently wrote…Motherhood Never Gets OldMy Profile

    • April 19, 2012 Alison

      I have always wanted to ask people why they bring their families to IKEA to hang out. Why not go to a park or something? πŸ™‚

  • April 19, 2012 Julie

    I don’t mind other shoppers, really. But I do want to snout sock employees who act like they’re doing you a huge favor when you ask for something. Really? It’s your job. Do it. DOOOOO IT.
    Julie recently wrote…Wordless Wednesday: QueueMy Profile

    • April 19, 2012 Alison

      OMG I cannot stand those people!!! They really should train them better.

  • April 19, 2012 Susannah

    Oh, I am in the angry shopper club, too. Have you ever rear ended an obese lady with a shopping cart out of spite? I have. And I’m not proud.

    • April 19, 2012 Alison

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

      Er, I mean, tsk tsk Susannah. πŸ™‚

  • April 19, 2012 Julia

    Hahaha, this is hilarious. I used to love shopping. But that was back when I had a perfect body, everything looked good off the rack, and I had disposable money and time. Now? Get out of my way, I’m not comfortable in my post baby body, I don’t have time to do this because the toddler is pulling on my leg and all my money is spent on toys.
    I so get this.
    Maybe we should stick to online?
    Julia recently wrote…A Whole New WorldMy Profile

    • April 19, 2012 Alison

      I wish I could stick to online!! I need to MOVE TO THE US! πŸ™‚

  • April 19, 2012 Ben

    I shop only under duress (1 single square of toilet paper left), and at the least busy times possible. If I can buy online and avoid people, yay. If not, I am speed-walking,plowing through crowds and resenting every second!
    Ben recently wrote…AddictionMy Profile

    • April 19, 2012 Alison

      Hah! Sounds like me. The 2nd part. I shop because I want to buy something. Shopaholic. Sigh.

  • April 19, 2012 Jamie

    The whole time I was all “shop on-line girl!” and then you reminded me you couldn’t. That’s all I do! I have sprees where I’ll fill my bag galore and then just x out of the store! Ha!

    Myself, I can’t stand line-holders. If the line is long at say, Old Navy, people will just stand in line until the people they are with are ready. Drives me nuts.
    Jamie recently wrote…dear sixtyMy Profile

    • April 19, 2012 Alison

      Gah, line holders DRIVE.ME.INSANE.

      I would be quite happy to shop online. I just need to move to the States first πŸ™‚

  • April 19, 2012 Elaine

    Your stabby face is totally awesome. πŸ™‚

    I get the most upset with the help in stores, so inept these days. When I worked retail I was ON IT!

    I do love to shop but admittedly lack of time has made me do more online shopping. Waiting for my new bathing suits to arrive as we speak…….
    Elaine recently wrote…So I guess I can extend our zoo membership…My Profile

    • April 19, 2012 Alison

      Oooh, bathing suits!!!! Um how do you shop online for bathing suits? πŸ™‚

      The help in stores is ironically, hardly helpful. Makes me stabby!

  • April 19, 2012 Delilah

    Oh I am an ANGRY shopper. Just reading your list had me clenching my fists and rolling my eyes. One of my favorite stores is Ikea, we have one literally 8 minutes away from my house. I spend a lot of time there in the summer, mainly because I choose to use their childwatch program as a free summer day camp. Ha! The people who stop right in the middle of the aisle annoy me but not as much as the ones who choose to fight against the flow of traffic and go the opposite direction of the arrows. REALLY? I aim for them with my cart. Oh yes. I do.
    Delilah recently wrote…I’d Call Her Van Gogh but She Has 2 EarsMy Profile

    • April 19, 2012 Alison

      Haha, the opposite flow traffic people!! OK I admit it, I may have done that once or twice for reasons I don’t remember. I do remember apologizing a lot.

      God, I hate/ love/ hate IKEA.

  • April 19, 2012 Leslie

    So funny! My husband gets the same way. So sad that shopping online is such a hassle.
    Leslie recently wrote…{Inspiration in Action} Chocolate Chip CookiesMy Profile

    • April 19, 2012 Alison

      I’m desperate to shop online!

  • April 19, 2012 Jamie

    It is so funny how some people who are in this huge crowd have no awareness for how they are affecting people. Hope i’m not that clueless. Very humorous post about a flawed human condition.
    Jamie recently wrote…Just say no to the “French Press.” Or my abs are going to flab.My Profile

    • April 19, 2012 Alison

      With this post, I have helped thee with self-awareness πŸ™‚

  • April 19, 2012 Susan

    IKEA makes me angry. IKEA in Scandinavia is the seventh circle of hell. Danes are inefficient enough as it is – give them a venue in which home decor items don’t cost the equivalent of a new car in the us and they will stand. and stare. and stare. and say one thing to their neighbor. and stare some more. GET OUT OF MY WAY ALREADY.

    ahem. that is all.
    Susan recently wrote…Today in the Mommyhood, Day 534 (Part: Shots, Anyone?)My Profile

    • April 19, 2012 Alison

      Angst, anyone? πŸ™‚

  • April 19, 2012 Amanda

    I’m totally an angry shopper. I caught sight of my face the other day in a store mirror and I was completely unaware of how hard I was SCOWLING. Do not get between me and my purchases!
    Amanda recently wrote…The Working MotherMy Profile

    • April 19, 2012 Alison

      Hah! I probably scowl a lot too, while shopping.

  • April 19, 2012 Tonya

    That face is awesome and EXACTLY the way I feel when I shop. I despise it!!

    If it weren’t for all the other people, lines, pushy sales staff, the dressing room wait, etc. I might like it a little more.

    Probably not though.
    Tonya recently wrote…HeavenMy Profile

    • April 19, 2012 Alison

      Heh. Shopping should be pleasurable, not stressful stabby-ish. Sigh.

  • April 19, 2012 nikky44

    You’re so funny Alison!!!
    To answer your question, I think I am the three of them together. When I’m in a hurry, I am an angry shopper!, when I do it just looking for some peaceful and calm moments, I am a zen shopper, but most of the time, i don’t shop at all as I’m a “broke shopper”
    nikky44 recently wrote…The Child that is MeMy Profile

    • April 19, 2012 Alison

      Heh, that’s a good perspective Nikki – we can be all 3. In fact, I am. Depending on where I go and how much or little money I have πŸ™‚

  • I’m always irritated when between every customer in line at the grocery/drugstore/Target/whatever, the clerk feels obligated to check their phone and send a text to someone. There should be some sort of law against it. It slows down the entire flow!
    Jay- The Dude of the House recently wrote…Two-line Tuesday: Smiley PlateMy Profile

    • April 19, 2012 Alison

      OMG what’s up with these people????

  • You have every right to be annoyed. Must always avoid the thundering herds and crappy cashiers. Your shabby picture made me laugh though. I hope your experience is better
    in Australia. Erin
    Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms recently wrote…Step Away From The Confetti CannonMy Profile

    • April 19, 2012 Alison

      Oh Australia won’t be for a few more years. So more stabby faces to come!

  • April 19, 2012 jenn

    Oh man. I get this. This is the reason I avoid big box stores whenever possible!
    jenn recently wrote…Hello Darkness, My Old FriendMy Profile

    • April 20, 2012 Alison

      I try to, but they seem to suck.me. in. Le sigh.

  • April 19, 2012 Michelle Longo

    Love, love, LOVE this. Can we pleeeease shop together. Together, our rage could take over the world! (Or your rage might make me laugh enough that I don’t act on my own stabby impulses.) I’ve always said when I rule the universe, no one will be allowed out without my permission when I want to be out because people make me CRAZY. Fun post!

    • April 19, 2012 Alison

      Oooh, rage against the world, I LOVE that idea!!!

  • April 19, 2012 Kristin

    I’m an angry shopper, too. Especially at the grocery store. Why, WHY do people stop their carts smack dab in the MIDDLE of the aisle and then stand there and gaze at the shelves as if they’re the only person in the store. PEOPLE NEED TO PASS YOU, IDIOT!!!

    Hubs hates it when I go to the grocery store because I always come home in a bad mood.
    Kristin recently wrote…It’s In Our BloodMy Profile

    • April 19, 2012 Alison

      Coming home MAD from a grocery store was what prompted me to write this. And I forgot to mention it in the post, haha!!

  • April 19, 2012 Just Jennifer

    I don’t shop often, but when I do I don’t get very angry. Unless I can’t find anything I want. Then I feel like I’m just wasting time. My husband on the other hand, does get stabby.
    Just Jennifer recently wrote…Self-PortraitMy Profile

    • April 20, 2012 Alison

      Oh you zen one, you!

  • April 20, 2012 Tracy

    Oh I feel this! When I shop I am on a mission to get in and get out. I don’t want to browse and I don’t want other people in my way or in front of my when I want to pay. Blasted other people who need things too! Gah!
    Tracy recently wrote…Wordless Wednesday – Scumbag BrainMy Profile

    • April 20, 2012 Alison

      I know, right?? Why can’t they just stay home??

  • April 20, 2012 Christine

    I love GTFO. I knew what you meant immediately. I am going to start using it in spoken language RTFN (right the eff now.)

    Also, to go with #2, in doorways. Why stop in doorways? I even get incensed when my children do this. Which is often. Keep it movin’ folks!
    Christine recently wrote…The Entirely True Adventures of a SAHM on Spring BreakMy Profile

    • April 20, 2012 Alison

      Haha RTFN!!! OMG doorways, yes, why??? MOVE!

  • April 20, 2012 deborah l quinn

    okay, I love you. So there. The Muppets blocking your way? heeeestairical. Today I was in a super huge Carrefour, trying to do a “fast grocery shop” … at mid-day, when kids should be in school, right? Except for the family shopping together with a screaming toddler in the cart and another kid: RIDING HIS BIKE IN THE STORE. Just tooling around on his bike with training wheels, zigzagging in and out around the carts. GO HOME. go to school. get the hell out of the store. Very, very stabby. Indeed. Mall culture in malaysia sounds very, very similar to mall culture here. not a good thing, in either case.
    deborah l quinn recently wrote…Comment on Eight Months: Daily Life by AbbyMy Profile

    • April 20, 2012 Alison

      Bah, children on bikes should be in the park!!! People, what are you thinking!!!

  • April 20, 2012 Kristin

    I just hate shopping. In fact, I’m desperate for some new clothes. Not desperate enough to go shopping however. Funny post!
    Kristin recently wrote…Glad I Saw It: Big Metal BirdsMy Profile

    • April 20, 2012 Alison

      Heh, thanks Kristin!! You can always shop online!

  • April 20, 2012 Lady Jennie

    Oh I hear you. Do they at least have special preggers checkout like they do here?
    Lady Jennie recently wrote…Awake, Thou Wintry EarthMy Profile

    • April 20, 2012 Alison

      What?? They have checkouts specially for pregnant women?? I need to move to France pronto!

  • April 20, 2012 Lisa Nolan

    Shopping! I have to be in the mood to shop, which is not very often (now I know why!). Also, I used to live near two children’s consignment shops (my homes away from home) and many thrift stores, and so it was different experience! And I don’t shop online that much any more cause shipping is too expensive, even in the USA ($25 to ship Montessori materials to my house!) The good news? I’m saving (or not spending) more money!
    Lisa Nolan recently wrote…Oh Twitter, How Art Thou, Let Me Count the WaysMy Profile

    • April 20, 2012 Alison

      Ok not shopping MIGHT be a solution πŸ™‚

  • April 20, 2012 Youngman Brown

    I HATE shopping. Hate, hate, hate.

    I’m the kind of guy that gets in and out of there as quickly as possible. Sometimes I don’t even try clothes on.
    Youngman Brown recently wrote…Supposibly, I Hate YouMy Profile

    • April 20, 2012 Alison

      So, basically, typical guy? πŸ™‚

  • April 20, 2012 Shiftless Mommie

    I am an angry shopper. But what’s worse, I go from “relaxed” to “saying hurtful things that can never be un-said” in less time than it takes for someone to drop the coupon they are trying to have honored at a competitor’s store. So even if I try to control my rage stroke, it doesn’t work.

    That’s why I shop alone. I don’t want to bring any of my love one’s down with me, especially if I ever need bail money.
    Shiftless Mommie recently wrote…I don’t want to be friends.My Profile

    • April 20, 2012 Alison

      Hah! I prefer shopping alone too. Having someone with me is too much pressure to behave πŸ™‚

  • April 20, 2012 Galit Breen

    Oh angry you, you’re not so scary. xo
    Galit Breen recently wrote…Raising Kick Ass GirlsMy Profile

    • April 20, 2012 Alison

      Hee! So my stabby face did not scare you? πŸ™‚

  • April 20, 2012 Natalie

    I’m an online shopper. Sorry, friend. Who has the time?

    Good luck!

    (And I was definitely an Angry Pregnant Woman.)
    Natalie recently wrote…Sprinklers and LifeMy Profile

    • April 20, 2012 Alison

      I so wish I could just shop online. Too bad all the online shops I like are in the US. πŸ™

  • April 20, 2012 Jadzia

    How did I not know that you were in Malaysia? I recently moved to France and the shopping here is crazy-making too. I’m looking at YOU, grandmas who block the entire grocery aisle with your carts and then look at ME like I’m the one being annoying because my infant is having a meltdown after spending way too long in the grocery store.
    Jadzia recently wrote…Mommy’s Pteromerhanophobia Outweighs Her Desire to Encourage the Kids: A Scene From the Dinner TableMy Profile

    • April 22, 2012 Alison

      Hah!! See, people just don’t think that their actions are the cause of mayhem. That right there, is the problem.

  • April 22, 2012 angela

    Kids kind of made me an angry shopper. Though they also made me one of the people dawdling in the middle of the aisle, so it might balance out πŸ™
    angela recently wrote…Freshening UpMy Profile

    • April 22, 2012 Alison

      Heh. Which is why we don’t take the toddler out shopping. We only go when we can leave him with my in laws. πŸ™‚

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