This Is About Blogging . . . Sort Of

posted in: Blogging 252 comments

There have been a few posts out there lately about the perceived resounding silence in the blogosphere – first, Elizabeth Flora Ross’s guest post at Erin Margolin’s and most recently, Kludgy Mom’s post. Both great thought-provoking posts that needs to be read.

Both posts are about the lack of commenting. The drop in Twitter interactions. The non-response on Facebook status updates.

In the comment sections, a few theories have been bounced around as to this phenomenon.

It’s seasonal – spring break, the lovely weather, children going back to school.

Well, if that’s the case, soon, it’d be gorgeous summer weather and summer vacation.

Then it’d be focusing on getting the kids ready for school again when Fall comes.

And at the end of the year, it’s Christmas, Hanukkah and the New Year.

If it’s seasonal, then we’re all screwed, no?

The other theories involved the proliferation of social media and the huge time suck it can be.

Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, LinkedIn, Google+. How on earth are we to spread ourselves? Which platform do we focus on?

But, if we did not tweet, or go onto Facebook, how are we to get readers? How are we to engage?

How many blogs can we possibly read? How many memes and linkys can we participate in?

If this is true, then we are screwed too, because if we write to get readers, we have to participate in something right?

A few veteran bloggers then offered that this is just the normal cycle of blogging.

People come and go. People’s real lives happen.

Babies grow up and become more than just a cute little thing lying there, happy to gurgle and coo.

Toddlers need attention, entertainment, to be kept an eye on at all times. Then they grow up.

And become preschoolers, who need to be taken to school. To be toilet trained.

Then they go to elementary school, middle school, high school. There’ll be homework, team sports, birthday parties, friendship and relationship dramas.

I haven’t even gone into things like marriage, friendships, extended family.

How are we to find time for our online lives when we have so much going on in our real lives?

I have no answers.

Questions beget more questions.

Personally, I don’t really look at my stats. I don’t really count the number of comments on this post versus another. I don’t really know how many blogs I read. I am unsure how much time I spend commenting or hanging out on Twitter and Facebook. I don’t really have a schedule where I set aside time to write.

I do know I love this thing – this blogging thing. It’s the one thing that is mine. That I am somewhat good at. I love that I’m an active part of some fabulous communities like World Moms Blog and the SITS Girls. I love that I have communities of writers and friends in yeah write. I love that I have people I can exchange some witty diatribe with on Twitter. I love that my blog’s Facebook fans adore my pregnancy updates. I love that I can write the way I want to write, rules be damned. I love that people respond and relate to the varied posts I publish (no niche, that’s me). I love that part of what is written here will be preserved for my children, in a way my childhood could never have been recorded. I love that I have made friends from around the world.

So whether you find yourself getting caught up in the beautiful weather, your gorgeous children, the rigamarole of life, the vigours of social media – don’t sweat it. Just do what is right for you at that time. Leave your blog. Or immerse yourself more into it. Look after your writing. Look after yourself. Do whatever suits you at that time.

And whether you blog for comments, or for validation, or for yourself, or for your children, or to find a voice, or to offer a voice, or to help others with similar situations, or to spread awareness, or to make money – just keep doing it if that’s what you believe in, and what you love.

Radio silence or not.

Why do YOU blog? And was I just rambling here or what?

A few of my bloggy friends are throwing me a virtual baby shower! Want to join in for the fun? I hope you do! Click here for more information!Baby shower

Alison
Alison Lee is a former PR and marketing professional turned work-at-home mother. After a 10-year career in various PR agencies, and of the world’s biggest sports brands, Alison traded in product launches and world travel, for sippy cups, diapers, and breastfeeding. Alison's writing has been featured on Mamalode, On Parenting at The Washington Post, The Huffington Post, Everyday Family, Scary Mommy, and DrGreene.com. She is one of 35 essayists in the anthology, My Other Ex: Women’s True Stories of Leaving and Losing Friends. In 2012, she founded Little Love Media, a social media consultancy specializing in blog book tours, and because she doesn’t sleep, is an editor at BonBon Break, an online magazine. Alison lives in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia with her husband and four children (two boys and boy/ girl twins).
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  • April 26, 2012 Sarah Reinhart

    A to the MEN. I blog first and foremost because it makes me happy. It’s nice if people read. Makes blogging more fun. But I’d do it regardless.
    Sarah Reinhart recently wrote…a virtual bloggy baby shower for AlisonMy Profile

    • April 26, 2012 Alison

      Self-happiness is so important. I’m glad you write regardless, because it’d be a a damn shame if you didn’t.

  • April 26, 2012 Stephanie

    I blog to find a connection to others. To have something that is mine. To exercise my mind in a way that being at home with the kids all day does not. I don’t have a ton of time for all the stuff that goes with blogging, like Twitter and FB and Pinterest and Google+ and on and on and on. So I am learning to be okay with that. To let it go and concentrate on what I want to say to the few that read my words. Hopefully I do not just hear crickets back 🙂
    Stephanie recently wrote…Living a Whole Food LifeMy Profile

    • April 26, 2012 Alison

      It’s great that you know why you do it, and you know what your priorities are. Go, you!

  • April 26, 2012 Clomid and Cabernet

    I blog to provide support and now awareness. I have felt the shift too. On my part, I’m feeling like I don’t want to spend daytime hours on it…which leads to late nights. I try to read and engage as much as I can, but I do feel limited lately. Launching this new site has taken time from the old…I need to strike a balance at some point!
    Clomid and Cabernet recently wrote…Share Your Story: JessicaMy Profile

    • April 26, 2012 Alison

      I think your new site is so important, Katie! Focusing more on it right now is totally normal and probably necessary. I do hope you find a balance soon 🙂

  • April 26, 2012 Delilah

    Yes, I agree. I think it’s just the natural progression. I was very active with my old blog from 2008-2010 and when I came back to blogging this January things were so different. People that I loved to read were gone or rarely blogged anymore. It was like learning a whole other world. I blog because I love it. I love having readers but I would blog without them.
    Delilah recently wrote…A New Community of Funny Moms & a $50 Amazon Gift Card GiveawayMy Profile

    • April 26, 2012 Alison

      As long as there’s love, there’s reason right there to carry on!

  • April 26, 2012 tracy

    Love this.

    I blog so I can stalk you and not make it seem like I’m really stalking you. Like when I say on twitter “our kids should get married” and you think “lol” I’m actually thinking “do you not see me outside your window right now with Astrid in a wedding dress?” And when I say on on Facebook “oh you are so funny!” and you think “lol” I’m actually thinking “no, like I’m really so close to you I could tickle you and make you laugh.” And when I comment on your blog “damn you are so brilliant” and you think “lol” I’m actually thinking “no, really like I’m stalking you so much right now and you are so brilliant that you could do my children’s math homework because they are right outside your door.”

    Short answer. I blog to stalk you. duh.
    tracy recently wrote…I Hold These Truths Only Until They Aren’t True Anymore..My Profile

    • April 26, 2012 Alison

      I really want a button to love comments. Because I love this. And you.

      I blog to stalk you too. Just sayin’.

      *waving from outside your window, and smelling your coffee*

    • April 26, 2012 Robbie

      you are both hilarious…and i mean that in a totaly normal not obsessed, non stalking way. really!
      Robbie recently wrote…Wisdom from StinkBugMy Profile

      • April 26, 2012 Alison

        You did notice my social media icons tab above that says “stalking is encouraged”?

  • April 26, 2012 deborah l quinn

    sometimes I feel like I’ve been blogging since god was a child – or 2008, whichever came first. And I had no readers (okay, yes, mom, you) and then a few more, and then more…and that feels great. But mostly I write so the writing muscle stays limber…and because I love the freedom of having my own personal soapbox from which I can yawp into the universe. Oh good lord, I think you’ve sparked my own post about this subject. I’ll stop now but will say only that A) I agree with you 100% (not that you need my validation, god knows); and B)yay to scrumplet; and C) keep blogging b/c it’s always a lovely surprise to see what you’ve written… : )
    deborah l quinn recently wrote…Monday Listicles: A booklist mashupMy Profile

    • April 26, 2012 Alison

      Go on, write your post. I want to read it!

      I love your soapbox posts, and that’s an honest statement.

      Thank you for your awesomeness.

  • April 26, 2012 angela

    I like that you do what you do, how you want to do it. Because I feel like I could hang out with you, and you’d be just the way you are here. Which is awesome 🙂
    angela recently wrote…Sunshine and SprinklesMy Profile

    • April 26, 2012 julie gardner

      I agree completely, Angela.

      Somehow I know she’d be just this way.
      julie gardner recently wrote…Today call me badMy Profile

      • April 26, 2012 Alison

        Julie, I love you. I don’t believe anyone has told you that as much as I have. Well, except for your husband and children. You know what I mean.

    • April 26, 2012 Alison

      Ack that’s such an awesome thing to say, truly. I try to be me, no one else, because I suck at being someone else. 🙂

  • April 26, 2012 Alexandra

    You never ramble, A.

    I blog first because there is such a sense of satisfaction for me when I turn a post into something I like.

    The icing on this already delicious cake is the connections I’ve made.

    It’s not about fitting in, but about the connections.

    Twitter in the morning has become my standing around the water cooler when you first get to work.

    Bouncing around blogs has become my quick phone call to my closest friends.

    Nighttime twitter and blog reading has become ducking out for a quick glass of wine with friends after work.

    All the things I used to be able to do when I was single and working have now become all the things I’ve figured out to do while married with children.

    It takes time, but I’ll give up hours of sleep for the intimacy and warmth I’ve found on the internet.
    My life before blogging: you wouldn’t even recognize me, I was so sad and so alone.

    And blogging has changed my life.

    I will never give it up: it’s too much of a good thing in my life, I’m a happier mother, wife, and friend because of it.
    Alexandra recently wrote…What To Tell Your Seventeen Year Old SonMy Profile

    • April 26, 2012 Alison

      I love your comment because you’ve articulated it so well – the analogies are exactly how I feel about blogging. It’s saved me in so many ways.

      I’m so glad you’re not giving it up – what would we do without you?

    • April 27, 2012 Mirjam

      Beautiful comment, I could never put it to words limke that, but I feel exactly the same!
      Mirjam recently wrote…ExtravagantMy Profile

  • April 26, 2012 Alexandra

    Oh and yeah: sorry about the novel up there.

    xo
    Alexandra recently wrote…What To Tell Your Seventeen Year Old SonMy Profile

    • April 26, 2012 Alison

      I love your novels. xo

  • April 26, 2012 Bruna

    Well said Alison!
    None of that other stuff matters. Blogging is a personal thing and all that matters is that you’re doing it for the reasons that make you happy.

    I blog because it’s what I like to do on my days off. It keeps me writing, happy and connected to the gal friends I’ve made on-line. For me… everything in moderation is what keeps me happy and coming back.

    Can’t wait for that baby of yours to get here!
    Bruna recently wrote…guilt-free binge day, just becauseMy Profile

    • April 26, 2012 Alison

      Moderation – that’s key. Overdoing anything can’t be good for you right?

      Sounds like you’ve found a good balance between online and offline life – good for you, Bruna!

  • April 26, 2012 Leigh Ann

    I find I leave this agonizingly long story on every post about blogging. Because it was kind of a revelation for me.

    I’ve noticed the decrease too, but I thought it was me. My mac couldn’t handle tweetdeck anymore, and twitter web sucks. So I tweet and interact less. FB is more lively these days, so I interact more on there. I also started writing for 2 other sites, one that I have to work on every night, and the other once a week.

    But also I went through a struggle with my blog at the end of last year, where I wasn’t happy with it. I felt sometimes I was taking the easy route and doing things for traffic. I love my bloggy friends and the support they provide, but I also wanted readers outside blogville. So I decided to stop participating in linkups and memes because I wanted to write about my life more, like I used to before I went all public with this thang. And I definitely enjoy it more. My comments have dropped. But I don’t have time to visit other participants in linkups anyway, so I’d be doing that whole thing a disservice. i almost killed myself trying to read some of the Yeah Write links last week, and I’m sure I only read 1/4 of them. My reading in general has decreased, or if I AM reading, I rarely comment. It’s a vicious cycle.

    The end.
    Leigh Ann recently wrote…Notes on a consignment saleMy Profile

    • April 26, 2012 Alison

      Thank you for sharing, Leigh Ann! It sounds to me like you’re just finding your rhythm and balance with all that blogging involves. It is a lot, and when you become unhappy doing it, it’s a sure sign you need to do less of it (or stop altogether).

      Are you in a good place now with it all?

  • April 26, 2012 Elaine

    That second to last paragraph of yours says it all to me. I used to get really caught up in how many readers I had and comments, etc. but yes, these days we are spread too thin, in many ways. At least I know I am.

    And I’ll keep blogging for the same reasons you will and to me, that’s all that really matters. 🙂
    Elaine recently wrote…Out BackMy Profile

    • April 26, 2012 Alison

      Yes, exactly. Because we love it (and really kinda need it!). 🙂

  • April 26, 2012 Jessica

    I know that I spend less time online lately and I know the reasons why. I love blogging but I did have to find a balance in my life.
    Jessica recently wrote…Getting Smart In His Old AgeMy Profile

    • April 26, 2012 Alison

      That you do, Jess!

  • April 26, 2012 Kimberly

    Well said, my friend. I blog because it’s something for me. It’s mine. I can’t look at the numbers and stress over the stats of my blog. I have made amazing friendships along the way, ones I will cherish for years to come, and I’m grateful for that.

    Life happens. People are busy. And that’s okay. We do what we can, when we can.
    Kimberly recently wrote…What Else Could Go Wrong?My Profile

    • April 26, 2012 Alison

      Yes, exactly. We just do what we can. The friendships built are totally worth the initial time and effort put in. Genuine friendships stay put, even if the blogging doesn’t last. Right? 🙂

  • April 26, 2012 My Inner Chick

    – just keep doing it if that’s what you believe in, and what you love.-

    E X C E L L E N T!

    Great Post, Mama A. As Usual <3
    My Inner Chick recently wrote…How To Become A Rockstar BloggerMy Profile

    • April 26, 2012 Alison

      Thank you Kim!! xo

  • April 26, 2012 Stasha

    I was just thinking about this the other day. I am in a slump and I feel like I am the only one left blogging for the sake of blogging. But then I read this, and Lavernne’s post and your comment on her post and I realize that I am just being silly. Because we do it for us and for the connections we make.
    Thanks my friend. Now I must google what radio silence means.
    Stasha recently wrote…Alison’s baby bashMy Profile

    • April 26, 2012 Alison

      You must never stop blogging because there’s no one like you out there, and I mean it.

      What would we do without Google?

  • I wish I had more hours in the day (duh), because I’d like to read so many more blogs, leave so many more comments, and write even more on my own blog. Why? Not because of stats, or a pat on the back for more comments, but because I’m a truly social person. I love the connections I have made, and all the interesting things I have learned. And, I’ve been blogging for less than a year. I do it because I love it. If, someday, I can make a little $$, all the better!

    Great ramblings, I’m off to read a little about this radio silence myself!
    Sharon {Grumpy, Sleepy, and Bashful} recently wrote…Delaying Kindergarten, Is It Right For US?My Profile

    • April 26, 2012 Alison

      Hope you enjoyed the posts I referenced, Sharon!

      It sounds to me like you’re blogging and continuing to do so for all the right reasons (for you). Good for you!

  • Ramble? You? Nevah!
    Why did I start blogging? To be honest to vent, to blow of steam. To connect with other people. Sadly I cannot spend as much time on it as I would like. Work you know… damn its soul-crushery.
    Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes recently wrote…What happens when somebody who doesn’t know you very well gets your child a presentMy Profile

    • April 26, 2012 Alison

      Damn you, work! 🙂

  • April 26, 2012 2dayswoman

    I’m new to blogging and it’s opened up a completely new world for me. I started writing as a way to put my thoughts on paper and connect with women all over the world. I love it how you can connect with people all over the world through your computer screen. I don’t get a lot of comments as I’ve just started but I love reading everyone’s blogs….As a ‘baby’ blogger it is all very exciting.
    Raquel
    2dayswoman recently wrote…Facebook vs Twitter: Which Is Best For Your Blog?My Profile

    • April 26, 2012 Alison

      Keep at it Raquel, and you’ll soon be building a fantastic community, good luck!

  • April 26, 2012 April

    My main reason for blogging is to create an online journal for my daughters. I write a lot about our family and I want them to remember all the fun we had together…and, yes, even some of the challenges. Love your blog!

    • April 26, 2012 Alison

      Thank you April! Creating a journal for your girls is as good a reason as any to blog and to continue to do so. Happy writing!

  • April 26, 2012 vania

    i blog for the community connection. since moving from my old neighborhood i feel like i have no neighbors. seriously. it’s been 5 years. there are no block parties, no children playing outside. i use to live on a block with 40 six family buildings and if someone new moved in to the block, you knew it, because even if we didn’t know eachother by name we still knew each other by face and some type of interactions, whether it be a hello in passing or our kids playing together during a block party. here? i feel like i’m on a bloody island. there are 8 houses in this block and not one of my neighbors are friendly. blah. anyway, that’s why i blog and tweet. for the feeling of community and it’s a beautiful community to join – mom bloggers are welcoming and helpful. social media is a time suck. and hello? i HATE facebook. and though i really like G+ I have no time for it lately. but i’ll hold on to my twitter and im happy to finally have instagram back now that it’s available for android and i like pinning a lot. and that’s all i can manage. i always tell clients to build a presence everywhere but chose the platform you like the most and work it! i really enjoyed this post and it’s so true, comments are dropping everywhere, people get busy, so i guess it’s just a matter of reaching out to new bloggers, other bloggers, others outside of the “clicks” that so many of us tend to fall into.
    vania recently wrote…Why Darren’s Blogging Method Doesn’t Work For MeMy Profile

    • April 26, 2012 Alison

      That’s right, there are actually many groups outside of who we’re used to, who are getting into the groove of blogging and will welcome those who are like-minded. It’s like a new opportunity to connect with new people, when your old group sort of falls by the wayside because people get busy.

      I still haven’t really gotten into Instagram despite getting excited I could use it with my Droid, haha!

  • April 26, 2012 Kelley

    This was great, Alison. I agree! It can be time-consuming, but, if you enjoy it, that’s okay, right? Loved your perspective.
    Kelley recently wrote…Finding the Funny: Who’s coming with me to Nashville to sing El Virus?My Profile

    • April 26, 2012 Alison

      Yes, exactly. As long as you still get joy out of it, keep doing it.

  • April 26, 2012 sandra

    Awesome post! Very well put and as always brilliantly written!
    sandra recently wrote…I’ve become a creep…My Profile

    • April 26, 2012 Alison

      Aw shucks, thanks Sandra!

  • April 26, 2012 Jen Has A Pen

    I’ve taken a step(s) back without realizing it, really. At first, I felt like I was ignoring my daily responsibilities, then I became creatively uninspired, and then work picked up, and then, and then, and then. 🙂

    I will say, though, even though I took a break and some of my friends have started posting less frequently, I have STILL been blown away by the support I received when I really needed it.

    That being said, nurturing our blog circles and blog friends when we have the time to do so, pays off when you are in need of a cheering squad, sensitive ear, or advice of some sort. I have a newfound love and respect for the resilience of a blog world- even one that has distractions and real lives to tend to.

    We are all just squirrels, right? 🙂
    Jen Has A Pen recently wrote…Forward FocusMy Profile

    • April 26, 2012 Alison

      Heh, yes we are!! The support of the community is truly astounding, isn’t it? I’m glad we can be here for you Jen. xo

  • April 26, 2012 Robbie

    i love this. i am new to blogging…or at least that’s what i keep telling myself so i haven’t really seen the ebbs and flows of it all. I started blogging to vent…to share things i couldn’t say out loud, to survive my crazy life. i LOVE LOVE LOVE the connections. i cannot imagine ever quitting this….
    Robbie recently wrote…Wisdom from StinkBugMy Profile

    • April 26, 2012 Alison

      And you shouldn’t! Keep doing it as long as you love it.

  • April 26, 2012 khaula mazhar

    Sometimes you get more readers and comments sometimes nothing at all, just the same as sometimes you get lots of time to read and comment sometimes you just don’t have time to. But that shouldn’t stop anyone, it is just too much fun! Getting to say and express what you want without any rules (except of course the being nice one, that is really important!)and even rambling on 😉
    khaula mazhar recently wrote…Chapter from WIPMy Profile

    • April 26, 2012 Alison

      Yes, blogging is just an ebb and a flow, isn’t it? And yes, oh so fun!

  • April 26, 2012 liz

    You said this in so much more of a nicer way than I could have. Yes, we all have other things to do! And I think that tied in with the cycle is that many of us kind of “grew up” together and have moved on to new projects. So, naturally, if you add something new to your plate, time is taken away from what you were currently working on.

    We can’t take on new projects without letting old ones go, to a certain extent. So instead of pining away at lost comments & traffic, how about viewing it as a positive for new ventures and experiences?

    🙂
    liz recently wrote…The Past 7 DaysMy Profile

    • April 26, 2012 Alison

      Yes, that exactly. New opportunities, new experiences, new friends. A good outlook to have, rather than wonder what happened to your old friends 🙂

      • April 26, 2012 liz

        Yes! Be happy for everyone and understand this is part of the growth cycle. No one loves any of their bloggy friends any less! But we all have interests and aspirations that have extended beyond our original blog.

        I prefer to look at things in a *good* light instead of perpetuating gloom and negativity. 🙂
        liz recently wrote…The Past 7 DaysMy Profile

  • April 26, 2012 Marta

    I couldn’t agree with you more. In fact I feel like I’ve commented, tweeted, posted all of the same thoughts in the last six months. I like you (niche less) have always written for me. When I tried to get caught up in the stats and popularity of it all it was much too stressful so I re-evaluated and realized I am perfectly happy writing to write. Reading to read.
    Marta recently wrote…SHHH… SecretsMy Profile

    • April 26, 2012 Alison

      Yes, who needs the stress of blogging when life itself already presents so many? This should be fun and remain so. Glad you’re back on track!

  • April 26, 2012 misssrobin

    I primarily blog for me. To get some of the stuff out of my brain in the hopes that it will shut up. As I do, I’ve found that my blog often offers strength to others, so now that’s part of why I blog. I blog so others won’t feel so alone.

    I think you captured it well. When my blog no longer serves my purposes, that’s when I’ll worry. And not before.
    misssrobin recently wrote…Post-it Note TherapyMy Profile

    • April 26, 2012 Alison

      You’ve got that right, Robin!

  • April 26, 2012 KalleyC

    I blog to keep me sane. Seriously, if I kept everything in my mind to myself, I’ll be talking to myself all the time (and getting odd stares from everyone). I love the connection to other moms, and the realization that you get when you find out that you’re not alone in your trials of life.

    I agree, it’s spring time, kids are getting out from school in May and in June, it’s bound to happen. People have lives to live. When it gets colder I notice things pick up again too. No need to sweat it.

    It’s the cycle of blogging (sang to the tune: Circle of Life from the Lion King).
    KalleyC recently wrote…Two Birthdays with One StoneMy Profile

    • April 26, 2012 Alison

      It’s totally a cycle. If we worried about everything including doing this fun thing called blogging, where’s the joy, right?

  • April 26, 2012 Erica M

    Speaking as one of the vets who still sometimes panics during the ghost town moments on the Web, it really is cyclical, as you said. People who start out as best blog buds get bored with each other (mark my words). Kids grow up, and not every recital can be enjoyed while taking photos for an upcoming blog post about it. Eventually, you’ll find the bloggers who can’t live without writing something down somewhere are the ones who keep blogging no matter what. The others for whom it was more of a fad will move on to other things.
    Erica M recently wrote…yeah write #54 is open for votingMy Profile

    • April 26, 2012 Alison

      You know you’re my blogging guru right? All the stuff we talked about before, I thought about while writing this. And I agree with you, the people who really love this, the writing part of it, will always carry on, radio silence or not.

      Nice to see you here, as always.

  • April 26, 2012 thedoseofreality

    This is a FANTASTIC post. I think it is like anything, it is a cycle, and some days are better than others. Can we blame Charlie Sheen? Or politicians? Or global warming? Or the fact that Ben Affleck dated Jennifer Lopez oh so long ago? Personally, I plan to keep writing and to keep reading and to keep commenting when and where I can. And if by doing that, Ryan Gosling happens to come along and save my life, well then, that will be one goal crossed right off the 2012 goal list! 😉
    thedoseofreality recently wrote…The Pressure is ONMy Profile

    • April 26, 2012 Alison

      Hey you never know – Ryan might just be down the road! 🙂

      And I have the same plan – just keep writing, keep reading, keep commenting. Because it’s just so damn good for me.

  • April 26, 2012 molly

    Not that I have really high numbers to begin with but I have seen a significant drop in my stats over the last couple of months.

    I think maybe it’s my fault though. I have been on the computer less. Commenting less. Interacting less. I think that’s why I receive less in return. I have always believed in returning comments. I know once you get to a certain point in blogging you just can’t reciprocate. But I don’t think it’s fair to continue to comment and support someone and never receive a response in return. Just my 2 cents.

    It seems even when I do try harder to interact – it is still a struggle to gain readers and get comments. Either way, it’s frustrating.
    molly recently wrote…coming homeMy Profile

    • April 26, 2012 Alison

      It can get frustrating. And I understand what you mean about giving and not receiving, because I’ve felt the same way. And you know what I did? I moved on. There are so many bloggers out there who understand the reciprocity and the fundamentals of connecting (that it’s a two way street), there’s no need to waste time on those who don’t.

      Don’t give up Molly, unless you’re really not into writing anymore. If you still love it, keep doing it. 🙂

  • I read so many blogs and realize I comment on few. I just do not have the time as used to!! I think as kids get older life gets a little crazier (or more hectic in terms of time available to sit at a computer). No one naps. Activities are abundant. And no one seems to go to bed at 7pm anymore. I know that sounds crazy when you have a newborn. Those are seriously crazy days but the toddler years when you get long naps each day — those are a blogging bananza! And sadly for me, those days are behind me.
    Amy ~ Eat. Live. Laugh. Shop. recently wrote…Dinner this week.My Profile

    • April 27, 2012 Alison

      Amy, you’re absolutely right. Nap times are PRECIOUS and I utilize them to the fullest. Also, early bedtimes for children. I’m a huge advocate of 8pm bedtimes, no matter what age hehe. I guess you just do what you can.

  • April 26, 2012 Amanda

    It really has been crickets out there lately! I know I have been neglectful of my blog in the past few months but I think you have the right mentality. My blog is for me (much like your’s is for you and you don’t worry about stats) and I write when I need to or feel compelled or inspired. I comment and read random blogs that interest me because I can connect. I think this is just the nature of the beast right? There will be ups and downs in traffic just like there is in real life.

    Happy Thursday to you mama 😉

    • April 27, 2012 Alison

      Yes, you’re right Amanda, nature of the beast is a good description! Have a great Friday and weekend!

  • April 27, 2012 heidi

    Alison, you are the first blog I came to this morning and it was just the perfect post to read, the perfect words to bring me perspective this morning.

    I started blogging on a dare almost 4 years ago and eventually it turned into an experiment of writing my story about this devastating car crash I was in 13 years ago. Blogging and writing has definitely turned into more than I thought it could be.

    As much as I love and participate in social media, especially Twitter, there has to be some balance, some quiet time. The same applies to blogging. I love finding other writers out there and commenting, but I can’t find the time to do it all. I try. I think it’s important to comment and encourage our fellow bloggers. I know I am so thrilled by every word given to me. Between my family, revising, and everything else there simply isn’t enough time. And, truthfully, I feel guilty because I wish I could do more. I want to do more. In this blogging community it’s important to give back and support each other.

    So, I support and comment and retweet as much as I can when I can. Blogging has changed my life and I am so grateful for it and for this incredible community.

    As to the people we follow who never reciprocate…that’s a tough one and I’ve already gone on and on here…so, I’m going to back away slowly. 🙂

    Thank you for this post. I really needed this.
    heidi recently wrote…lost and foundMy Profile

    • April 27, 2012 Alison

      Thank you for words, Heidi. Every time I read your posts and your comments, I can almost hear your gentle, soothing tone of voice 🙂

      I love how you describe it – quiet time. Yes, that. Everyone needs that. Some more than others, and that is okay.

      The non-reciprocity? That’s a whole other post, and a whole other can of worms, so let’s not go there 🙂

  • April 27, 2012 Stephanie

    I usually spend about an hour reading my favourite blogs every day. I’ve been really lax at leaving comments this month, though, because I’ve gotten a bit overwhelmed by the A-Z challenge. Honestly, I think that comments – both leaving them and getting them – ebbs and flows. A lot of it also depends on my state of mind…I can’t always deal with baby posts, for example, if I’m feeling sad about my baby-less-ness. So on those days, I’ll click away from Mommy blogs that I normally enjoy reading.
    Stephanie recently wrote…V is for Verbs That Aren’t Really VerbsMy Profile

    • April 27, 2012 Alison

      Stephanie, completely understandable. Sometimes, I read and not comment, because I just can’t add to the conversation, for whatever reason. Blogging is an ebb and flow thing, isn’t it?

  • April 27, 2012 Runnermom-jen

    I was just thinking about this the other day…I would blog if I didn’t get comments or page views anyway, because I started this blogging thing as a way to remember my kids’ childhoods. I have found SO much more though.
    You know me, I have no schedule, I never look at my stats (I did in the beginning), and some days I ‘mark all as read’, and I’m pretty OK with that.
    I think all that matters is what is good and right with your family and yourself and…I’m totally rambling.
    I love you, Alison 🙂
    Runnermom-jen recently wrote…Happy ThingsMy Profile

    • April 27, 2012 Alison

      Aw, thank you, Jen. You know I adore you too!! I agree, what matters is our families, us.

  • April 27, 2012 Kristen

    You know I haven’t been feeling well so I haven’t been able to blog and have only had a short amount of time on any social media before my vertigo comes back & I have to close my eyes again. But I have to tell you…I miss the hell out of all of you! I feel like you are my neighbors at the bus stop, the moms cheering beside me at a game, the moms in the Bookclub that don’t talk about books. I love to share with all of you. I love to connect with all of you through celebrations, tears, laughter and more. I never knew that the computer could hold so many wonderful people inside it. This is why I blog and this is why you are a blog I follow…I know you blog from your heart and a wonderful heart it is!
    Kristen recently wrote…I Want Off Of This Ride…NOW!!My Profile

    • April 27, 2012 Alison

      Thank you for taking time out from resting (darn vertigo) to read and comment, Kristen. We miss you too, sweetie, and I hope you get well really soon. I feel the same way about blogging – all these wonderful people inside my screen, almost within reach. Just almost. 🙂 And thank you for your kind words!

  • April 27, 2012 Amanda Austin

    Too true, Alison. When we start blogging for comments and validation, though, I feel like we lose the whole point of blogging….at that point you’re doing it for yourself more than anything else. So saying that “nobody is reading me!!!” comes across as a little….self-centered? Not in a terrible way, but in a way that we should all check ourselves before we wreck ourselves and this lovely community.
    Amanda Austin recently wrote…Beach BabyMy Profile

    • April 27, 2012 Alison

      I always love your straightforwardness, Amanda!!

  • April 27, 2012 Bonnie Way

    I blog because I love writing and because it’s a way to connect with other moms and writers. And I’ve had ups and downs in my blogging life – times when I just post to my own blog and leave the computer, and times when I can read a dozen other blogs (and comment). It is sometimes hard to keep up with all the social media sites, but I don’t visit all of them every day. I have my favourites. And I like participating. 🙂
    Bonnie Way recently wrote…Book Review: The Lion Cubs by Chrissy M. DennisMy Profile

    • April 27, 2012 Alison

      Participating is a good way of being part of a community. I love it too, but am limited sometimes by how much I can do. We just do what we can, right?

  • April 27, 2012 Jack

    I am one of those “older” bloggers who don’t necessarily see “problems” here that haven’t always existed. Or at least I feel like they have.

    I started in 2004 and if I dig through my blog I find dozens of commenters/bloggers who were always around and then they weren’t.

    It took me a while to realize that it was a lot like college. Friends transferred, dropped out, graduated or drifted away.

    It wasn’t necessarily because of me because sometimes their life made them move on. And sometimes it was because of me.

    Within the blogosphere some people get tired of your writing or offended by your political/religious beliefs and they move on.

    Sometimes it is all or nothing of the above. But the one thing I know for certain is that the people who last love this.
    Jack recently wrote…The Best Bloggers Are Storytellers Part 2My Profile

    • April 27, 2012 Alison

      Jack, I agree with you. It’s much like life where people come and go for whatever reason, and it’s difficult to keep track, really.

      And yes, people who love the writing, the interactions, the communities, the technological changes – they’re the ones who stick around no matter what.

      Thanks for reading and commenting!

  • April 27, 2012 Alex

    I blog because I feel it gives me some semblance of an identity outside of being a mom or wife Which I have no qualms about. I go through cycles of blogging where I’m very “professional” about checking stats, charting, & all kinds of social media connections. But I find that when I focus on that stuff I lose the real part of blogging my content sucks & I’m not reading anything else. For the past 3 weeks my Twitter game has really lacked & but I’ve been reading more blogs lately, writing better {I think} & my stats have climbed. Hm.
    Alex recently wrote…Springtime Pasta with Leeks, Bacon & EggsMy Profile

    • April 27, 2012 Alison

      It is about the content, isn’t it? When you write crap, no one reads. When you don’t, people do. It seems simple enough. But, there are those who don’t write as well as we think, or it’s just not to our taste, yet they have many readers. Might be they’re well into community building. So yes, it’s many things. It’s just a matter of how you balance all the balls in the air.

  • April 27, 2012 tayarra

    Guuurrrllll, you said it! Totally agree and have had This running through my head lately….I’m Just going to blog for me, do What I want to do! Way to go!
    tayarra recently wrote…I’m Thankful!My Profile

    • April 27, 2012 Alison

      You’re on the right track then, Tayarra! Thank you.

  • April 27, 2012 Janice

    I love this post because I’m one of those who sometimes fret about how many people actually come to visit my blog. I check my stats once in a while, but it usually just depresses me so I don’t do it often. I just blog. I figure that if people like it, they will comment. But most times it feels like they just comment because I was in their blog first and I left I comment first. So does that mean that I won’t get any visitors if I didn’t visit them first? *sigh* See how this turns to depression? So, I try to just not think about visitors and be thankful and happy for those who do come – whether or not I was at theirs first.
    Janice recently wrote…FearlessMy Profile

    • April 27, 2012 Alison

      Yes, I completely understand where you’re coming from. And yes, I think sometimes, people only visit when you visit them first. That’s not necessarily a bad thing – at least they care enough to, right?

  • April 27, 2012 Emily

    Really interesting stuff. Couldn’t agree more. I would say the reason is over-saturation. That, and up until this point facebook, twitter, pinterest and everything else have all been the newest and coolest and latest and greatest. It’s like, they are getting old, too popular, suffering from “everybody has it” syndrome. Everyone has it, knows how to use it, and it has been manipulated in every which way to make yours stand out over theirs. It’s old news, people are bored, and trying to be involved with too much in too many ways all at the same time. I love to write but we can all only do that and read so much material. Something’s gotta give, ya know?
    Emily recently wrote…10 Lies Pregnant Women Need to HearMy Profile

    • April 27, 2012 Alison

      You’re right, Emily. Something’s gotta give, and usually life has to come first, so blogging and all that goes with it, has to be compromised. And yes, there are SO many good blogs out there, it’s hard to get to everyone all the time!

  • April 27, 2012 gigi

    Thanks for this thoughtful post, Alison.

    I want to make something clear about my own post (which I thank you for linking to it). I wasn’t really complaining about or bemoaning the drop in my traffic or comments, as another commenter alluded to here.

    In fact, I have very little to complain about. I support my family with a job I wouldn’t have gotten without blogging. I have a thriving blog with great brand relationships and fabulous readers.

    I wasn’t “perpetuating negativity” but rather, asking a simple question – are things changing for everyone, or just me? And if they are, why? It is a discussion.

    I don’t obsess over statistics anymore because I have a full-time job, but I do look at what’s happening anecdotally v. empirically, and I sense a shift. I’m an information seeker, and I try to understand the whys. It’s just who I am.

    I went down the very bumpy road that many of us do – getting completely sucked into all of the social media things I “should be” doing to be better at what I do – and found myself in an abyss with no time, no balance, no life with the people who are most important to me.

    That finally came to a head – and now I’ve set better boundaries. The result is I read fewer blogs, I’m on Twitter less, etc. But I am happier, and my content is better, and my family sees me. I know that the true connections I’ve made through blogging will outlast my blog – whether it has 150 comments or 1 or whether I decide to someday shut it down.

    We all do our best and all need to respect each other’s boundaries, as well as the contributions we each make the community, large or small.

    One funny side note though – if you’re blogging for money, it’s really hard to do with radio silence 🙂
    gigi recently wrote…How To Make Your Facebook Fan Page Into A Mobile AppMy Profile

    • April 27, 2012 Alison

      Thank you for your input, Gigi. I truly enjoyed your post, and I completely saw it as a discussion, which is why I referenced it here as a starting point for my own perspective.

      I think you’re one of the few who have managed to make blogging work very well for you, and that’s great.

      I always enjoy your posts about blogging, you always have a great discussion going on in your comments, and you always have a unique perspective on things!

  • April 27, 2012 Jana A (

    Yes. This. All of it. Thank you for this post.
    Jana A ( recently wrote…Being Alone. What is that?My Profile

    • April 27, 2012 Alison

      Thank you for reading, Jana!

  • April 27, 2012 Jen {at} take2mommy

    This really resonated with me. I felt myself nodding in agreement through the whole post. Very well done!
    Thought you’d have linked it up at yeahwrite but I don’t see it among the candidates for voting…
    Jen {at} take2mommy recently wrote…WordsMy Profile

    • April 27, 2012 Alison

      Thank you Jen, I’m glad you could relate!

      I didn’t have time to submit to yeah write this week 🙂

  • April 27, 2012 Stephanie

    Amen. I can’t tell you how welcome this is because I have been discouraged lately. I think that I needed this reminder that even if I get no comments that the reality is, in the end this is for me. Thanks for the boot in the ass 😉
    Stephanie recently wrote…Baby Bucket List.My Profile

    • April 27, 2012 Alison

      You’re welcome, Stephanie! It’s easy to get off base sometimes. But when you think about why you started, you’ll get back to where you were.

      Do you know who the SITS Girls are? It’s a great community of women bloggers, so it’s a good place to start meeting some friends 🙂 Good luck!

      • April 30, 2012 Stephanie

        I do indeed – I’ve been a member of the SITS for a couple of years now and they are by far the best community out there in my opinion. I’m just stinky at meeting friends even using the forums. :-/
        Stephanie recently wrote…Its A Loving SmileMy Profile

  • April 27, 2012 Mrs. Jen B

    Preach it, sister.

    Life happens, and a blog is something you can come back to when things calm down. For me, I have to blog when I feel like it. I can’t force myself. In the past I’ve forced myself and it was bad. You could tell it was forced. Now I’m making it a point to step away when I just don’t have it in me. And I’m a much happier person as a result.
    Mrs. Jen B recently wrote…Cooking on GAPSMy Profile

    • April 27, 2012 Alison

      Happiness is essential. I’m glad you found what works for you, Jen!

  • April 27, 2012 Alison

    From one Alison to another: thank you so much for this post! Sometimes I feel like the few comments I get are a reflection of what I write. Not! It brings to the fore the issue of motive, as you said. Why do we write? I write because I love writing and blogging. That’s enough motivation for me! Thanks again for sharing your heart on this topic.
    Alison recently wrote…The chronic case next doorMy Profile

    • April 27, 2012 Alison

      Thank you, fellow Alison! (I always love when I meet someone who spells her name the same way I do!)

      As one of my long-time blog friends pointed out above, it’s the bloggers who truly LOVE writing, who can’t NOT write, that stick through the cycles of blogging. I believe you’re one of those 🙂

  • April 27, 2012 Denise

    I thought it was just me that was spending less time in cyberspace lately. I blog because it is mine and I like it
    Denise recently wrote…What I Love About My JobMy Profile

    • April 27, 2012 Alison

      And that’s as good a reason as any!

  • April 27, 2012 Carolyn

    Great article.
    I don’t worry about comments, although I love them, because if readers are like me, I read a ton of blogs and don’t comment on them all. If I did, I wouldn’t be able to read as many.
    Carolyn recently wrote…Spinach and Ricotta DumplingsMy Profile

    • April 27, 2012 Alison

      There are so many reasons people read and not comment – time issue, the fact they’re reading from their phones, nothing to add etc. I don’t think too much about it anymore!

  • April 27, 2012 Natalie

    I love all the great friendships I have formed through blogging especially since I am a SAHM it’s a great outlet. But if I feel like blogging I do…and if I don’t…well I don’t! Life does get busy sometimes so I can see how some people put it on the back burner.
    Natalie recently wrote…The Neighbor Drama Saga Continues…My Profile

    • April 27, 2012 Alison

      Yes, exactly! We just do what we can. Sometimes we write a lot, and read/ comment a lot. Sometimes, we don’t. That’s just the way it is, isn’t it?

  • I started blogging because I Erin and I really wanted to share the Sisterhood we have in real life. (It’s not just a gimmick.)We had stories to share. I, personally, wanted to create something, to have something as my own.

    What I did not expect was the community and friendships that would develop. Life may force me to take breaks at times, but I could never walk away.

    Ellen
    Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms recently wrote…Extraordinarily OrdinaryMy Profile

    • April 27, 2012 Alison

      Ellen, I love what you and Erin have built there. It’s always wonderful to read your posts (and I’m amazed how you both write together with such flow and ease), and interact with you on Twitter.

      Breaks are essential – we all have things to do, lives to lead. But you’re right, when you have something good going, you would not walk away permanently.

      Thank you for taking the time to comment!

  • amen! amen! amen!

    you can take that as my enthusiastic agreement with everything you said because i think you should blog because you love it, because you have something to say. does it really matter how many people are reading and commenting? really? ‘cos then we’re talking high school and that is one place i don’t want to go back to. ever. like, totally 😉
    amanda {the habit of being} recently wrote…starburstMy Profile

    • April 27, 2012 Alison

      Haha! Blogging HAS been compared to high school many times 🙂 Thank you for your enthusiastic agreement, heh.

  • April 27, 2012 Stephanie

    Coming to you via SITS.
    Thanks for this post. It’s really easy to get caught up in stats and why or why not readers are commenting. I blog b/c it’s an outlet for me, b/c I have control over it and recently b/c I have found a voice as a very part time activist. It’s rewarding and I guess when it stops being rewarding then I’ll stop too.
    Stephanie recently wrote…Hidden Veggies Pasta SauceMy Profile

    • April 27, 2012 Alison

      Stephanie, I’m glad blogging has done so much for you. I hope you keep feeling rewarded through it!

  • April 27, 2012 Rach (DonutsMama)

    I jumped into this with both feet and I still love it, but I have pulled back b/c for me, I need more offline time. But that’s what works for me. Things change, your interests change. I realize blogging is about ebb and flow and I’m ok with it. I don’t check my stats anymore either. I’m happy with the way things are right now and if you’re happy with things, then that’s what matters.
    Rach (DonutsMama) recently wrote…MetamorphosisMy Profile

    • April 27, 2012 Alison

      Yes, exactly!!

  • April 27, 2012 Jenny

    I got into blogging for myself. I love to write, and it used to be a passion for me. I am behind a computer all day, and I am a much faster typer than writer now. Blogging is a bit like my therapy. I got out all my thoughts and worries about balancing motherhood and my career and making my way back through PPD.
    Jenny recently wrote…When Pregnancy Isn’t Always BlissfulMy Profile

    • April 27, 2012 Alison

      Jenny, I’m glad you get what you need from blogging. As they say, it’s free therapy 🙂

  • April 27, 2012 Natalie

    I’ve thought about this a lot. My comments have definitely seen a drop off. But my traffic hasn’t dropped that much. I think part of it is that most of my readers aren’t bloggers. But I do miss the comments. And some of it’s my fault–I haven’t had as much time to read blogs and respond to comments. But I’m trying. And there are really only so many hours in the day, right?
    Natalie recently wrote…That’s Not MeMy Profile

    • April 27, 2012 Alison

      And you have a brand new baby, Natalie! It’s all about priorities. You blog for you and your kids, and that’s exactly what you’re doing. And doing beautifully.

  • April 27, 2012 Katie

    high fives, and booty bumps!

    I have no idea what my stats are. And I am having just as much fun on the twitter as I ever did.

    I never understood the “seasons” rationale either. And I never notice when stats or whatever are down. I often wonder if the people who are soooo focused on that stuff are maybe losing sight of why they started blogging to begin with.

    Or maybe they need to ask, “did I just go two weeks and only post ONE personal post amongst a ton of sponsored or blogging or giveaway posts?” Because if that is true, then yeah, you probably lost readers/followers.

    No one wants to have links and products pushed at them from someone they used to feel like they were getting to know via their blog.

    At least I don’t. I guess I can’t speak for everyone.

    I blog because, like you, it will be there, in some form, when I am not.

    It’s for my family.

    Maybe no one cares about Eddie’s current sayings…but I do. And he will too. And someday we will look at it together and chuckle.

    We will not care about how many pageviews I got that day or what I said on twitter.
    Katie recently wrote…using your wordsMy Profile

    • April 27, 2012 Alison

      Yes, exactly! It’s a record of things we so easily forget because damn, there’s just too much going on in life isn’t there? I find that recording all the little things, be it something the kids say/ did or just pictures we took, I’m doing much more conscientiously, in part because I blog. I’ve become a keeper of memories in a very tangible way (hey next blog post title!).

      And I agree with the sponsored posts ratio versus personal posts. I’ve stopped reading some blogs BECAUSE of that.

  • April 27, 2012 Galit Breen

    I love your message here, sweet friend!

    That line? About doing what you what you love, following your spark, being in your bliss?

    I couldn’t possibly love that more!

    xo
    Galit Breen recently wrote…The 17 Day Diet Cycle 3My Profile

    • April 27, 2012 Alison

      I wish I’d written exactly what you so succinctly summarized there, Galit 🙂 xo

  • April 27, 2012 JDaniel4's Mom

    I have seen a drop and it really made me look at what I am concentrating on during my blogging time. My quality is up and I am hoping that new readers will enjoy that.
    JDaniel4’s Mom recently wrote…When God Needs Bubbles, JDaniel Will Send Them!My Profile

    • April 27, 2012 Alison

      I do think readers enjoy quality content. No one wants to waste time on poorly written posts, right? So glad you’ve found what works for you!

  • April 27, 2012 Shell

    I think it goes through cycles. I know for me personally- I’ve been on two field trips with my kids and they had another half day. So, my time online was limited so I wasn’t around much… which tends to lead to a drop in my own comments. But, I figure that when things get busy for me, I have to realize that others are busy too- and we all tend to give back what we get, so if I’m not commenting, I should expect the drop.

    I think it’s just really about what people have time to give these days- and they will get back similar to that.
    Shell recently wrote…Pour Your Heart Out: Why I’ve Been Quiet about Autism Awareness MonthMy Profile

    • April 27, 2012 Alison

      I agree, you get what you give back (or not). I admire how you always make so much time for your readers, Shell!

  • April 27, 2012 Mark

    I just found out today from, (I forget which blog) that Blogging is my hobby. Who knew!
    m.
    Mark recently wrote…I’m cheap!My Profile

    • April 27, 2012 Alison

      I’m glad it is because you write so well, Mark!! (don’t leave us!)

  • April 27, 2012 Ali

    My guess is this has to be a cycle. People cycling in and out. There are literally millions of “mom blogs” (yes I said it) out there. We can’t all last. There’s only one Scary Mommy or Pioneer Woman. I noticed yesterday, one of my favorite bloggers hadn’t posted in a few months. It was sad. I think it all gets back to WHY we start blogging. I started to keep a virtual journal and have stuck with it. I think there are other bloggers out there who might have started that way and now want to be associated with brands, etc. And that’s where the readers, or her “audience” comes in. Honestly, I’ve found that I interact less and less with people when they start promoting more and more. I read blogs because I like the people. I tweet to read about how people are doing. I loved the chit chat. I got to the point with twitter where so many people were promoting things that I couldn’t weed through it all. My interaction has definitely dropped there.
    Ali recently wrote…All Alone on Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work DayMy Profile

    • April 27, 2012 Alison

      I think some bloggers do get to the point where they start to get approached by brands, and they do the brand thing – and that’s okay. However, as you say, when it becomes too many sponsored posts versus personal posts, the readers who came and stuck around for the latter, will definitely leave, and find someone else (450 million blogs out there!).

      I love what I do here. Yes, I’ve done a couple of reviews/ giveaways, but only if I REALLY believe in them, or if they’re for a good cause. And yes, I’ve worked with brands as sponsors for Memories Captured, but only because I really want to give something back to people who’ve stuck with me. My intentions are still true, which is why I’m comfortable doing all those other things sometimes.

      I’m glad you’ve stuck with it, because you’re good at it!

  • April 27, 2012 Laura

    I do believe that these “changes” people see are a natural progression of a blog community. But when one community starts to slow down or evolve, there will ALWAYS be more to take their place. We just need to find them! 🙂

    I blog because I need an excuse to write. I have been blogging in one form or another since I was sixteen. My husband and I recently had quite an emotionally charged conversation when he suggested I leave blogging for a bit to focus on writing something that might one day be published. In my mind I heard him say “why don’t you write something with value?” – even though he wasn’t saying this. Not at all.

    I think this is when I really had to look at WHY I blog. And the reality is, if I stopped now, I wouldn’t fill the gap with more writing. I barely have time to blog, I certainly don’t have the ability to carve out enough time and energy to write something major. If I didn’t blog, the words in my head would simply disappear forever.

    I wish I was better at networking. I wish I had more time to read and comment on other blogs. I even wish (gasp – dare I say this?) that my blog was read by more people. BUT, I don’t blog for those reasons. I blog because blogging is my voice.
    Laura recently wrote…Splash!My Profile

    • April 27, 2012 Alison

      I completely agree with you that the changes is a natural progression – something ‘old’ always gets replaced with something new, one just has to get with the program, so to speak.

      As one of my friends up there wrote, the ones who stick around are the ones who can’t NOT write. I think you’re one of them 🙂

  • April 27, 2012 Carri

    It’s a cycle, at least for me. I went back to work part time after not working for some time. I’ve starting spending my time a little differently… less commenting, less Twittering, etc. Do I miss watching the comments roll in and the stats rise and rise and rise? Kind of. But I feel so much better doing it for ME.
    Carri recently wrote…In My Glass: Cowgirl Razzberry-TiniMy Profile

    • April 27, 2012 Alison

      That’s who matters – you.

  • April 27, 2012 Emmy

    I blog for the creative outlet, the journal of my life and kids and yes I do enjoy the social aspect and connections with other moms.

    • April 27, 2012 Alison

      It’s good to know why you blog in the first place – when I start to feel burned out, I always turn back to why I do it.

  • April 27, 2012 Julie

    I blog because it is my creative outlet. I’ve met some lovely people. I hope to perhaps make a little money, but if not, I’ll do it anyway because I enjoy it. I am with my kids all their waking hours and this is a little slice of grown up world that I get each day. Even though I blog about my kids, it feels like it’s just for me since I’m doing the things I love–writing and taking pictures.
    Julie recently wrote…Weekly Kids Co-OpMy Profile

    • April 27, 2012 Alison

      Julie, I am just like you! Blogging is that slice of adult life that is ALL MINE, and it keeps me sane.

  • April 27, 2012 Ado

    Hi there:
    Okay first MAN you got a lot of comments here on this blog post! WOW. And secondly I got so sucked into reading the comments in this post that I plum forgot what I was going to comment about in the first place! Your comments in themselves are gripping and interesting and that says a lot about the “life” here on your blog – as they say in Dublin – “it’s got a buzz” – and I like it here. (-:
    That said, I forgot what the heck I was going to say.
    Ado recently wrote…The Scary Truth About ParentingMy Profile

    • April 27, 2012 Alison

      Haha!! I love when people read the comments as much as they do the post. In fact, I think the comments are BETTER than the post….

  • April 27, 2012 Adrienne

    I’m sorry I didn’t make it to the shower! What a fabulous idea that was.

    I blog because I love to write. It’s therapeutic for me. Blogging has helped me find my voice, and let go of insecurities. (some anyway) It’s this secret place I never knew was here, and I’m so thrilled I found it!

    Sometimes I get caught up in the numbers, but I always try to remind myself it’s not about that.

    As far as balancing life and blogging? Who knows?! I do know we have to LIVE life in order to WRITE about it. So something’s gotta give sometimes.
    Adrienne recently wrote…Teens, Facebook, and Texting, Oh my.My Profile

    • April 27, 2012 Alison

      The shower linky is open for another 12 days!! Would love to have you join us.

      Yes, you’re right, what is there to write about if we don’t live first?

  • April 27, 2012 Leslie

    I love your perspective on this. Honestly, if I didn’t blog I’d be a much more frustrated and unhappy person. In my first year, I looked at it as another job; but now it’s entirely for me. Anything about it that added stress (linking up to a million and one linky parties, anyone?) is basically gone. I stopped caring so much about the clicks and care more about the dialogue and writing about what’s interesting to me at the time. It started out as a means to an end and ended up being a means to me.
    Leslie recently wrote…Triple Crown TimeMy Profile

    • April 27, 2012 Alison

      I’m glad it all worked out for you Leslie! I think at some point, we all get caught up in the numbers. Fortunately many of us realize it’s pointless and focus on more worthy things – like the actual writing of good content and living life.

  • April 27, 2012 Kate F. (

    I could not have said it better. I know… not much of a comment. But I rarely comment and I just have to say – you took the words in my head and…

    wrote them.

    Thanks.
    Kate F. ( recently wrote…Dissecting IntimidationMy Profile

    • April 27, 2012 Alison

      Best comment ever. 🙂

  • April 27, 2012 Tiffany

    I love how real this is and how it makes me feel better about how I feel about blogging. I love writing and that’s how it started for me, and then somewhere a few blog carnivals later I got sucked into follower numbers. Then it was commenters. It’s always something.
    You’re right, we should continue to do it for the reasons that are right for us. When. Why. If at all.
    Tiffany recently wrote…Hot off the Press!My Profile

    • April 27, 2012 Alison

      I think at some point, we all get caught up in the blog hops, linkys, memes, numbers, etc. It’s almost inevitable that we do, to come to the realization of what really matters for each of us.

  • April 27, 2012 RoryBore

    so perfectly said, nothing more required.
    RoryBore recently wrote…Quotable Bits #16 – Love SticksMy Profile

    • April 27, 2012 Alison

      Thank you 🙂

  • April 27, 2012 Desperate Housemommy

    Wow. I just love how I picked today to jump back in and start blog reading again. Timely topic, old friend. Because I’ve spent three months on sabbatical, figuring out why I blog.

    IF I want to blog at all.

    And for me? It’s definitely a hobby. I have a knack for writing, and I need to exercise my literary muscles. Nothing more, nothing less. I spent a season or two thinking that it was perhaps more than that, but it’s not, in my case.

    So I’ll pop in here and there, when time allows, because there IS a humongous world out there, and I’m up to my eyeballs in commitments to it and to my family.

    The end.

    ps – Missed you so!
    Desperate Housemommy recently wrote…AnticipationMy Profile

    • April 27, 2012 Alison

      Sue! Missed you too!! I did notice you decided to take a break – which is all well and good. Life comes first, yes?

      Love seeing you here, and do check back when you can!! xo

  • April 27, 2012 Ann

    It’s funny you should ask that…TODAY (4/27) is my one-year anniversary for blogging. I started to have a sense of accountability but it’s so much more now. I don’t know if it’s spring or a cycle, but I do love blogging! Hugs to you, always, Alison
    Ann recently wrote…One Year Ago…. and a Giveaway!My Profile

    • April 27, 2012 Alison

      Happy 1st year, Ann!! I’m so glad we found each other, and don’t you stop cooking and blogging!

  • April 27, 2012 Blond Duck

    I totally agree. I was just thinking about this. We had to go out of town for a family funeral and my comments/ stats dropped for two weeks–I was thinking how sad it was that if I didn’t spend an hour or two commenting every day or doing Facebook, no one came. I love writing and spreading my whimsy, but I’m not a health/ food blogger or mom blogger so sometimes I feel like it’s harder for people to get me. I just wish I could do more with my blog without spending my life promoting it.
    Blond Duck recently wrote…Friday Five: Magic EverywhereMy Profile

    • April 27, 2012 Alison

      I get what you mean. I say, just keep writing, if that’s what you love.

  • April 27, 2012 Elizabeth

    Alison, I think this is a great encouragement for us bloggers not to feel pressured to do it all, but to do what we want, when we want, and how we want! Thanks for the reminder! =)
    Elizabeth recently wrote…In the Dog House!My Profile

    • April 27, 2012 Alison

      Elizabeth, thank you for reading! I’m glad I managed to put some perspective into the topic – I was afraid I might have been rambling 🙂

  • April 27, 2012 tracey

    Yep. Totally normal. After 6 years of blogging, I can attest that it’s a cycle. Some people quit during the first low period, but if you forge through, you’ll find that you can return with crazy insight…
    tracey recently wrote…Would you like some Fries with that?My Profile

    • April 27, 2012 Alison

      6 years is epic! Great job sticking to it!

  • April 27, 2012 Kir

    well um, with 175 comments, I have nothing more to say than it’s obviously not happening here. LOL.

    I think people just get choosy or sick of reading the same stuff over and over…or they don’t have time (4 yr olds are different from 2 yr olds…you’re right!)

    but I think you’re doing JUST GREAT here in your little corner of the world my friend. JUST GREAT. xoxox

    • April 27, 2012 Alison

      Hee! Half the comments are my responses 🙂

      And thank you Kir. You’ve always been a supporter and friend and I truly appreciate you. Thank you.

  • April 27, 2012 Mirjam

    I love when you ramble like this. 🙂
    I read a post once about phases of blogging. And it has been like that for me. I’ve been into number and stats, I’ve been into trying to attract readers. But now I’m just loving what I do. I love having my own space on the internet, I love having conversations on twitter. And I love reading the words other bloggers put out there. And that’s enough for me. But I hardly ever read a post without commenting. I want people to know, I took the time to read their words, and let them know if they touched me in some way.
    Mirjam recently wrote…ExtravagantMy Profile

    • April 27, 2012 Alison

      That’s why you’re such a precious gem, Mirjam. You always take time to acknowledge what you’ve read with great comments. Thank you for letting me ramble and still sticking around! 🙂

  • Admittedly, this is a hodge-podge kind of answer. Y’know… I guess I blog for myself most of the time. I don’t get goo-gobs of comments in the first place. I feel like my comments are always “down”. If I were writing to be fed by comments I’d wear a size 0. But I continue to write anyway. And, when I try to do my professional blogger “thing”, trying to look like I know what I’m doing – by going over to Google Analytics to look at my stats – most of the time I end up confused.

    I do know how to SEO my way to the first page of Google Search, so I guess I lied. I guess I blog to make money. Because I have Google Adsense ads (and others) on my blog and when you combine that with the fact that getting onto the first page of Google via SEO is critical to getting the traffic you need to make money on Adsense, I just stopped blogging strictly for myself… kind of. Because in a way, that’s still true. I do blog for myself. But then, I blog to help readers find solutions to their problems, challenges, and frustrations with trying to produce a fabulous party while not paying an arm and a leg for it.

    I started blogging about 3 years ago. Being super competitive with myself, I got caught up in “the game” of the Internet – wanting to win at it (learn how to get on the first page of Google Search) because the Internet never tells you “no”. But when I’ve written a post that doesn’t rank as well the Net tells me, “not right now”.

    I blog because Seth Godin (who I adore) told me to; “If nothing else, it will make you a better person”, he said. I write because I prefer many of the friendships that I’ve made online over the people over some of the friendships that I’ve made in the so-called “real world” (is it really real… not in my eyes).

    I write this post to you today because I keep seeing you around SITS and have been saying to myself, you have GOT to stop by her blog! I guess I’m like a lot of you out there. I blog for a lot of different reasons. I guess it depends on what day it is, that determines my answer in that particular moment. But I do know this, I don’t know what I’d do without it and when I’ve been in a position where I’m not able to sit down and write, it nags on me and I feel miserable.

    Anyway you shake it, dye it, or fry it… I’m glad that I’m getting the chance to eMeet you and all of the other great people that I’m connecting with online. I’m glad to be alive during the advantages of the technological “happening” (dare I be yet ANOTHER person to use the phrase, “paradigm shift”?) that’s taking place. And I’m really glad that the Internet never says “no”… maybe “not right now”, but never does it say, blatantly, “no”.

    It;s nice to eMeet you!
    Carlo/Carlo At Your Service Productions recently wrote…Does Your Party Have Personality?My Profile

    • April 29, 2012 Alison

      Carlo, thank you so much for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. I think for some, their reasons for blogging changes as their life does. If you need money, why not try making some money from blogging? There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

      I do find that those who stick to it are the ones who truly love to write. They can’t live without writing.

      Glad to meet you too!

      • I thought I’d stop back by to see how your baby shower went and I see it was a HUGE hit. That’s awesome! CONGRATULATIONS!

        While I’m here, I thought I’d make mention of and clarify something. I am an online marketer creating information products and an owner of a brick and mortar business that I pretty much get to operate at my leisure because of my online businesses. I don’t know if it’s true but, I’ve heard that some SITS members look down on bloggers with ads on their blogs. And, if that’s true – that’s pretty judgmental and sad.
        Being a “blogger purist” or “blogging purist” isn’t my “thing”. I allow everyone the space to do their “thing” and be who they are, even if they’re a Mommy blogger that I suppose that I could find fault in (I don’t) because to be a mom was not my choice.
        I hope what I heard through blogosphere “grape vine” was misleading and false. In life we all face enough heartache and unfair judgement from time-to-time. And, to have to deal with other peoples judgement online, too – where I come to get away from the daily “real world” grind isn’t cool. No, I’ve got that wrong. People are entitled to think whatever they want to think. It’s just a lot classier when they keep their negative thoughts to themselves, don’t you think? I’m just sayin’… Glad you’re not like that!
        Carlo/Carlo At Your Service Productions recently wrote…Cocktail Party Menu Ideas For Men’s Birthday Cocktail PartyMy Profile

  • April 28, 2012 Leighann

    I couldn’t agree with you more! Life is ever changing and so are our commitments. We have more time some days than others and that means sometimes our commitment to the interwebs has to suffer. It doesn’t mean we don’t want to be here, it just means we will catch up when we can.
    You have a great perspective Alison!
    Leighann recently wrote…Wear Your BadgeMy Profile

    • April 29, 2012 Alison

      Thank you Leighann! Yes, exactly, just because we’re not around as much to comment, does not mean we don’t want to be here. We just have to be elsewhere first 🙂

  • April 28, 2012 Jessica

    This is such a great post Alison. The blogosphere has been different lately. I think part of it is that many people are branching out and doing different things and also we have daily lives to live. I’m am forever feeling behind with keeping up with blogs and bloggers and somehow I need to find a balance that works for me. It is so nice though, just like old friends, that we can all visit each other whenever we can and pick up right where we left off.
    Jessica recently wrote…Two More DaysMy Profile

    • April 29, 2012 Alison

      Yes, that exactly, Jessica. The real friends will always be around, maybe a little late, but around 🙂

  • April 28, 2012 Just Jennifer

    Excellent post, Alison! I think just like anything, blogging ebbs and flows. Why should it be any different than other aspects of life? I happen to love it, in fact NEED it. I can’t imagine ever NOT blogging. But then, I’m pretty zen about it, just letting it take me wherever it leads.
    Just Jennifer recently wrote…TGIF: The Little Things EditionMy Profile

    • April 29, 2012 Alison

      Zen is a good way to approach it 🙂

  • April 28, 2012 TVs Take

    Great post and I’m been noticing a pattern as well. Life got crazy for 2 months = blogging takes a bit of a backseat and my comments are down by about 1/2. I’m also finding other bloggers who frequented my page are going through this and that. Just a cycle I guess.
    TVs Take recently wrote…Do Tough Times Make Your Relationship Stronger?My Profile

    • April 29, 2012 Alison

      Like life, blogging does have cycles! Thanks for stopping by!

  • April 28, 2012 Phase Three of Life

    Great topic. I do definitely notice an ebb and flow as bloggers come and go. I think blogging is like any major relationship – you come to a fork in road at some point where you either decide it’s not the best fit or it’s going to be a serious, long-term thing. I don’t have a set strategy, particularly with things like social media and commenting. I comment when I read a post that moves me or makes me tear up or makes me nod my head. When that happens, I think the writer should know there are readers who are connecting with his/her words. Some days I’m on Twitter all day long. Sometimes I don’t go on for a week. Sometimes life happens, sometimes Twitter happens. 😉

    /end ramble.
    Phase Three of Life recently wrote…The Daycare Daily ReportMy Profile

    • April 29, 2012 Alison

      Heh, yes, life and Twitter happen and we’re stretched thin!

  • April 28, 2012 Asianmommy

    I think comments are down because of captcha–what a pain…but what can you do? 🙂
    Asianmommy recently wrote…Build a Planter Box at Home DepotMy Profile

    • April 29, 2012 Alison

      That could be a factor, but Captcha has been a PITA for ages 🙂

  • April 28, 2012 Nikky44

    I Love ALL the things you love about Blogging, but what I love MOST is this Post. Thank you so much.
    I Blog because I need to escape from my real life, because I have no one to listen to me in real life, no one interested enough to get to know me better. I blog because I need to vent, to be listened to, but mainly to have friends, and know someone cares. much love to you, and thank you.
    Nikky44 recently wrote…I even have to welcome his ladyfriendMy Profile

    • April 29, 2012 Alison

      Thank you Nikky. I’m glad you’ve found a place to go where it’s yours, where you can put your thoughts down, where you can connect.

  • April 28, 2012 Angie Nelson

    Stopping by from SITS! Very thought-provoking post.
    Angie Nelson recently wrote…Interested in Starting a Cleaning Business? Here Is What You Need to KnowMy Profile

    • April 29, 2012 Alison

      Thank you, Angie!

  • April 28, 2012 The Liberal Mormon Mom

    Thanks for this post, I enjoyed it. I am new to blogging so it put some stuff into perspective for me.

    Dropping in from The SITS girls!
    The Liberal Mormon Mom recently wrote…Class Warfare Should Be ExtinctMy Profile

    • April 29, 2012 Alison

      Glad to be of any help 🙂

  • April 28, 2012 BarefootMedStudent

    Excellent post! I think bloggers must just relax and not be too competitive or worried about stats. Blogging should be for you, first and foremost – if it becomes a popularity contest then some serious introspection is required.

    Visiting from SITS Sharefest 🙂
    BarefootMedStudent recently wrote…The Meeting: Ni & MiMy Profile

    • April 29, 2012 Alison

      Yes, absolutely, it’s not a contest, it should be fun 🙂 Thanks for stopping by!

  • April 28, 2012 Melanie

    This is AWESOME! And so encouraging. I’ve been feeling guilty lately because I haven’t been on top of my blogging because of life and the kiddos.

    I blog because I love to write and I love to share my life. I also like keeping a chronicle of this life I’m living…just so I can be able to look back and see what was going on at a certain period of my life.

    I also love the connection I make with other bloggers like you. And though I may not get many comments back from some whose blogs I regularly comment on, I appreciate the ones who do respond back to me even more. It with these bloggers I’m making cool connections.

    Thanks for this! It brought me back to why I love blogging in the first place which in turn has now inspired me to keep at it.
    Melanie recently wrote…Missing That Career…My Profile

  • April 28, 2012 Jadzia

    I love that you don’t check stats. There’s so much love for you out there (see: baby shower) that I don’t think you need to stress about that!

    –signed, a huge fan
    Jadzia recently wrote…I Love A GOOD Tourist TrapMy Profile

    • May 1, 2012 Alison

      Thank you so much for your kind words, Jadzia!

  • April 28, 2012 Meredith

    I have been wondering why my FB comments have dropped dramatically. Kept thinking, maybe I just wasn’t as interesting anymore…but not even my funny things kids say statuses were getting comments! I’ve never gotten much from Twitter, but I still get a few comments on blog posts. Great article though…life happens and sometimes that gets in the way of our social commentary.
    Meredith recently wrote…Boys Spring FashionMy Profile

    • May 1, 2012 Alison

      Yes, life gets in the way sometimes! It’s the ebb and flow of blogging and social media. Thanks for reading and commenting, Meredith!

  • April 28, 2012 Michelle

    I have been blogging off and on since 2008. I enjoy it when I have the time, but I don’t stress out if I’m too busy to blog. I blog because I truly enjoy connecting with others (I don’t tweet or facebook). Which is why I wouldnt find blogging as enjoyable if no one ever commented on my blog.

    I became a SITS girl in the early days and I took to heart the idea of connecting and support through comments. Some of my favorite bloggers are the ones I met via SITs (in those early days).

    I really believe that if you want people to comment on your blog and feel a connection with you then you need comment theirs. I am sometimes surprised when I find new (to me) bloggers and I see that they have a huge following but people rarely ever comment on their posts.

    I’d rather have 100 followers and lots on comments then 1000 followers and no comments. Happy blogging.

    • April 29, 2012 Alison

      I agree, followers are not necessarily readers. I much prefer an active community than just a bunch of followers!

      Thanks for coming by Michelle.

  • April 29, 2012 Kim

    It used to be I just wrote as a hobby, something to pass the time and keep me busy. Here lately, I’m branching out and wanting to take a more professional approach to my blog. To treat it like work but still remember to have fun.

    I’m also fortunate to have a husband willing to go to work while I stay home and pursue my interests and possible career ambitions. It hasn’t been easy but it helps to have that support.
    Kim recently wrote…Strength Center Re-Invent Yourself Challenge: Week 2My Profile

    • April 29, 2012 Kim

      Also as a side note: I try to avoid spreading myself too thin. I do my best to share, engage, comment, and write but if I find myself feeling drained and/or overwhelmed, I step back and limit my commenting, tweeting, and even posting.
      Kim recently wrote…Strength Center Re-Invent Yourself Challenge: Week 2My Profile

      • April 29, 2012 Alison

        I think you’ve got a wonderful sense of balance, and importantly, support at home for doing what you love. Good for your, Kim!!

  • April 29, 2012 Kristin

    I blog to process my thoughts and emotions. Because I feel writing is my best expression of self. Because I like the feeling I get when someone tells me that something I wrote resonated with them, and the knowledge that I can, at times, be a voice for others. And because it’s my way of chronicling my life for my daughter to [hopefully] someday read.

    Everything else is just gravy. 🙂
    Kristin recently wrote…Friday Tapas: The No-Frills EditionMy Profile

    • April 29, 2012 Alison

      You do it for you, and that’s fabulous.

  • April 29, 2012 Ronni

    Hi Alison! 🙂

    Wow, this post generated lots of comments, huh? 🙂 Anyway, I blog to share my life and to make friends, so I LOVE it when people comment. It gives me the chance to meet other bloggers and get to know them. I like to share pictures, share what’s going on in my life. I’ve been blogging for nearly 12 years, so it kind of comes out of me whether I want it to or not!

    I know that I don’t always have time to comment on other’s blogs, and I usually only do so when something really moves me. But I am always reading the blogs. I wish I could “like” blog posts without it being blasted all over facebook LOL. But yeah, I think maybe people are just overwhelmed. Or busier. It happens.
    Ronni recently wrote…Cray CrayMy Profile

    • April 29, 2012 Alison

      Thanks for visiting, Ronni! 12 years is a long time! I do believe those who stick to it are those who love to write, and share. And you’re definitely one of them.

  • April 29, 2012 jackie

    So true that life happens. I stopped blogging a few months ago. Although I truly loved it, there was just so much going on in my life that blogging was the thing I had to give up. I was going to delete the blog completely, but I can’t. I have 2 years worth of posts that I want to look back on. I have it in private now, and one of these days I’m going to go back to it and just write post after post because I love writing.

    • April 29, 2012 Alison

      Jackie, you made a decision you had to, but I’m glad you didn’t delete all those wonderful memories you documented. Keep writing and good luck!

  • April 29, 2012 Jessica

    I agree with all you’ve said here. I haven’t been visiting as many blogs as usual, mainly because I’ve been tired and very into some books I’ve checked out at the library. I still try, however, to make it to some of my favorites, like your blog, just because I can with the little time I have! 🙂
    Jessica recently wrote…Maternal Mortality|When Life After Birth is Not PromisedMy Profile

    • April 29, 2012 Alison

      Thank you for still coming by, Jessica! I think it’s pretty amazing you’re managing to write as often as you do (2 blogs no less), look after 2 young ones, read, manage a household. And thank you for making time for my little blog here 🙂

  • April 29, 2012 Jamie

    I loved the comments as much as I loved the post. Another reminder that I’m never alone in my feelings. I find myself walking further away because I can’t possibly keep up with… what? My own expectations or assumptions of what ‘you’ think or want from me? I simply can’t read and tweet and interact as much as I did 6 months ago. The girls are ACTIVE!!!, the Babe is traveling quite a bit and the boys are BUSY. When I do sit down at the end of the day I want to write but I’m overcome with the pressure to read and interact and I end up not doing either and not feeling good about it. So I ride the roller coaster. Write when the idea/thought/feeling is there. RT when I check in, like FB posts when I can, read and comment when I can.

    Thanks for making me feel better (you and your commentees) about it all.
    Jamie recently wrote…weekend wisdom 40My Profile

    • April 29, 2012 Jamie

      Also, wanted to say… one thing I did do was clean out my reader and unsubscribe from ones I just never read. I also updated my bloglovin’ so I get email summaries of my must-reads. Those two things helped me.
      Jamie recently wrote…weekend wisdom 40My Profile

      • April 29, 2012 Alison

        Jamie, I do go through my Reader and unsubscribe from those I find myself not really going over anymore, or their writing doesn’t resonate with me anymore.

        And I get it – getting busy with life, that happens. And it’s perfectly okay. I’m glad you can see that and not feel guilty. Being a wife and mother has to come first!

  • April 29, 2012 Corinne O'Sullivan

    I haven’t been checking out many blogs lately because my life has been upside down, but it seems incredibly fitting that I came back to yours in time to read this post.

    And dang, girl. Perfect! Pretend I’m raising a glass to you. You’re so right. It’s so easy to get caught up in the stats, the comments, the counts of everything. First and foremost, blogging should make you happy and it should be for you.

    Although, I have to admit, the blogging community is a pretty awesome community to be a part of. 🙂
    Corinne O’Sullivan recently wrote…FootprintsMy Profile

    • April 29, 2012 Alison

      Oh yes, the community is AWESOME. Which is why I’m still part of so many. The interactions, the friendships – I love them.

      Nice to see you again, hope all is well!

  • April 29, 2012 Christine

    I have seen my relationship with my blog go through many stages in just one year of doing it. I think blogging, in general, is here to stay. I’m sure the players will change over time. Personally, I’ll pop in and out of it as I see fit and as my sched permits. And when real life “gets in the way” I consider that a good thing. What I take from your post (not rambling) is that it’s all good. And I agree.
    Christine recently wrote…Late BloomerMy Profile

    • April 29, 2012 Alison

      Thank you for agreeing, Christine 🙂

  • April 30, 2012 Vidya Sury

    Finally got here, Alison 😀 I’ve been seeing you around the social media globe and the blogs I visit regularly. Don’t know why it took me this long.

    I blog because I love it. That’s all. And yes, it is tough to keep up with all the social media platforms especially when we have to do things offline. I went through a short period of frustration but got over it quickly enough.

    You’ve got a great place here – and I look forward to visiting often. Be well! 🙂 Love, Vidya
    Vidya Sury recently wrote…Collecting SmilesMy Profile

    • April 30, 2012 Alison

      Thanks for coming by Vidya! Look forward to your return visits and I appreciate your input on this post.

  • April 30, 2012 Julia

    Yes! You have described blogging exactly. And you? Are SO good at it.
    Happy Baby Shower!!
    Julia recently wrote…Button Up My Buttons BabeMy Profile

    • April 30, 2012 Alison

      Aw, thanks Julia!!

  • April 30, 2012 Tonya

    Oh how I love this!! And you too for getting it! This is exactly how I feel. Thank you for putting into words.
    Tonya recently wrote…If I Could Turn Back TimeMy Profile

    • April 30, 2012 Alison

      Thank you Tonya – for getting it and for supporting it 🙂

  • April 30, 2012 Kristin

    Wonderful love letter to blogging. I understand why some people get so upset about the ebb and flow of blog comments. Also, since other tend to depend on advertising and clicks on their blogs, it can be a really stressful thing when the ebb seems longer than the flow.

    I rarely get comments on my posts unless it’s a part of yeah write, or if it goes minorly viral – but that’s because I don’t think I write about particularly contentious things. And it’s basically a local blog – so fewer readers and just plain old information or “Hmmmm” moments, not “Oh No She Didn’t!” moments. And that’s okay. Because it’s for me, mostly. And while it’s titillating to get feedback and strokes, I know my own habits and time constraints. Just like I don’t get bent out of shape if a friend doesn’t call me for a long time (because I didn’t call her either!), I can’t blame people for finding real life or another post or CNN more interesting right here, right now.

    Thanks for this Alison!

    ps: See above for why I haven’t linked up with your baby shower yet! But I still wish you the best!
    Kristin recently wrote…Glad I Saw It: Springtime BicyclesMy Profile

    • April 30, 2012 Alison

      You’re absolutely right, Kristin! It’s a little narcissistic to assume that our blogs are must-reads for everyone. I know some bloggers have so many people who read theirs, and they’re expected to return visits each and every time, read each and every post. Which is impossible, really. We have lives to live, things to do.

      Thanks for your input and no worries about the baby shower!

  • May 1, 2012 Jenni Chiu

    Um… I would like to say everything that The Empress just said.
    Also, blogging gives our thoughts and feelings due space.
    We can tell you do it because you love it, Alison… and you attract others that love it as well.
    *keyboard bump*
    Jenni Chiu recently wrote…In the middle of some seriously high cardio, I saw her.My Profile

    • May 1, 2012 Alison

      Thank you Jenni! I remember and love your campfire post well. Booty bumps to you!

  • May 1, 2012 Elizabeth Flora Ross

    First of all, thank you for linking to my blog and my guest post! I’m really enjoying the robust dialogue taking place around this issue. Mainly b/c I know I’m not alone in my feelings.

    I stopped paying attention to my blog stats a long time ago. I don’t blog for stats. But, as I said in my post, I do blog for connections. And when I don’t get a response, I don’t feel I’m connecting.

    There are plenty of other ways to connect, however. I have been working hard lately to make sure I am reaching out and making those connections and not just sitting back waiting for them to happen.

    I love your perspective on this!

    • May 1, 2012 Alison

      Thank you Elizabeth for reading and weighing in. Yes, it’s definitely about the connections for me too. It’s fortunate we have more than our blogs to communicate – Facebook, Twitter. It’s just a matter of spreading our time wisely.

  • May 1, 2012 Lady Jennie

    Wow! Loads of comments on this one. I definitely blog for both connections and a platform to write. I think they are in equal balance for me. I will taper off from writing or commenting if life gets in the way, but I do feel slightly uncomfortable until the balance is restored. (Case in point, we go away for a week – no time to write or read blogs and we come back to an enormous amount of work on house and garden so no time to write or read blogs).

    And sometimes I feel lonely when I don’t get a lot of comments, but I so so appreciate the few faithful (you) so that makes me feel less lonely. But life gets in the way for everyone – make sure you take your well-needed break when Scrumplet comes.

    I know my comment is all over the place.
    Lady Jennie recently wrote…Picturesque ProvenceMy Profile

    • May 1, 2012 Alison

      I totally know what you mean, Jennie.

      I know I will have less time when the baby comes. But I also know that I will this too much to stay away too long. It’s all about balance!

  • May 14, 2012 Jamie

    I started blogging because I’m a writer and wanted to begin some online presence. I do notice when I am working on a project and can’t devote time to the blogging world my stats do go down. But I’ve gotten so much personal enjoyment out of meeting people etc. that — like you said. It just goes with the territory. I love it too much to be discouraged for long.
    Jamie recently wrote…Forever One of the Paparazzi. Parenting.My Profile

    • May 15, 2012 Alison

      Love makes the world go round 🙂 Thanks for stopping by Jamie!

  • May 22, 2012 PhotogCynthia

    I blog out of an obsessional need to create. I don’t feel like myself unless some idea or project is flowing through my brain cells. And I need a place to express it.

    I also need community…to hear and see other’s thoughts and ideas. I love hearing about people’s every day lives…all around the world. I even look at breakfast hashtags on Instagram. (They eat what for breakfast?!!!)

    If others like and comment on what I post (which I always get a thrill out of) that’s the bonus part.
    PhotogCynthia recently wrote…Vintage Camera Night LightsMy Profile

    • May 22, 2012 Alison

      I love that – an obsessional need to create. And breakfast hashtags – how fascinating! You’re right, I do love hearing about people’s every day lives too.

      Happy Blogging, and thanks for stopping by!

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Alison Profile PictureI'm Alison. Writer, a mother of four (two boys and boy/ girl twins), social media enthusiast and book lover. A believer in the power of chocolate and hugs. Chugging coffee as I type. Want to know more?

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