I’m Crap

posted in: List of 10, Lists 94 comments

….. at a few things. My personality is stellar, oy.

I’m writing a list post today for Monday Listicles with Stasha of The Good Life because I’m a lazy blogger (according to blogs about blogging – I call BS on that. Lists are AWESOME).

Jessica of Team Rasler, inspired by Jessica of My Time As Mom, suggested we list down what we’re rubbish at.

Easy enough!

  1. I’m really terrible at applying make up. I once went to a wedding wearing a dark blue dress and applied what I thought was a subtle gold/ brown eye shadow that would match the gold details on my dress. I saw a picture of myself later and it looked like a 5 year old used brown crayon and dragged marks across my eye lids. WHY DIDN’T ANYONE TELL ME?
  2. Talking to children. I know, I’m a mother, I should nail this. But I’m just awkward around other people’s kids aged 4 and above. I just don’t know what to say to them. Give me a baby anytime, I’ll cuddle the hell out of them.
  3. Craft of any kind. I believe I may glue gun my fingers together if I tried.
  4. Sewing. I can manage sewing a button back, even patch a torn seam. But, the buttons fall off after a month and the seams tear open after a week. And sewing machines scare me.
  5. Drawing. I’m a stick figure kind of girl. I still draw stuff on this blog though. Bad drawings = good blog fodder.
  6. Playing Wii Tennis. I played once with my husband and hit NOTHING. I like to think his trash talking had something to do with my lack of concentration and ability.
  7. Painting my own nails. Paying someone to pretty up my nails for me is something I’ve indulged in for years. Don’t judge.
  8. Dancing. I have no coordination. It’s laughable really. And no, I’m not demonstrating it. Ever.
  9. Anything to do with cars. I can drive and park one, fill up gas and I do know if there’s something wrong with it (can’t really argue with funny sounds, right?). But I can’t change a tire, nor do I know what spark plugs or carburetors do, and that’s about the extent of my car knowledge.
  10. Home improvement anything. Don’t give me a power tool, I might harm you.

What are you really crap at? Be honest.

Alison Lee is a former PR and marketing professional turned work-at-home mother. After a 10-year career in various PR agencies, and of the world’s biggest sports brands, Alison traded in product launches and world travel, for sippy cups, diapers, and breastfeeding. Alison's writing has been featured on Mamalode, On Parenting at The Washington Post, The Huffington Post, Everyday Family, Scary Mommy, and DrGreene.com. She is one of 35 essayists in the anthology, My Other Ex: Women’s True Stories of Leaving and Losing Friends. In 2012, she founded Little Love Media, a social media consultancy specializing in blog book tours, and because she doesn’t sleep, is an editor at BonBon Break, an online magazine. Alison lives in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia with her husband and four children (two boys and boy/ girl twins).

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  • March 5, 2012 Not a Perfect Mom

    last time I did a craft with Jack I stapled my fingers together #truestory
    Not a Perfect Mom recently wrote…Sweet Sweet SugarMy Profile

    • March 5, 2012 Alison

      OMG NO!!! Ouch.

  • March 5, 2012 -dweej

    Oh, I LOVE this listicle. Might just have to jump on the bandwagon. And I agree, lists are AWESOME. Fun to make and fun to read. What other criteria are there????
    -dweej recently wrote…Wherein the 10 year old tries to Bible meMy Profile

    • March 5, 2012 Alison

      Exactly!!! Lists ROCK. I imagine there can’t be much you suck at.

  • March 5, 2012 Robin

    I’ve never played Wii tennis, but I imagine I’d suck at it. Everything else on this list is me exactly. Rubbish at all of it.
    Robin recently wrote…Writing DangerouslyMy Profile

    • March 5, 2012 Alison

      Soul mates!

  • March 5, 2012 RoryBore

    ditto on the craft and drawing….Imagine a craft where I must also draw? I shudder.
    But I confess, I promote the car suck-much thing so that hubby will always fill it up, check the gas, rotate the tires…whatev.
    that’s just boosting his male “Tarzan must help Jane” confidence though, right? I’m a good wife 🙂
    RoryBore recently wrote…Best of the Blogosphere: Feb 2012My Profile

    • March 5, 2012 Alison

      Hee! Yes, you’re a good wife, totally 🙂

  • March 5, 2012 Life As Wife

    You know what you don’t stink at? Baking, sarcasm and making me laugh!
    Life As Wife recently wrote…Wordless Wed…Err FridayMy Profile

    • March 5, 2012 Alison

      Aw, thank you Samantha!

  • March 5, 2012 Brandee

    Great list! I’m not a makeup girl either, and I am terrible at drawing. Really terrible. I must remember to put that one on my own list, haha.
    Brandee recently wrote…Slowing down the crazy kidMy Profile

    • March 5, 2012 Alison

      Thanks Brandee!! I’m thinking the lack of drawing skill has to do with the lack of make up skills 🙂

  • March 5, 2012 Ado

    I’m with you on all of them but no.’s 8 and 10 YUP/ME TOO! And no. 2 is such a cute observation of yourself. I didn’t know I wasn’t really good at it until Fi became older – like 9. So I’m impressed!
    Ado recently wrote…10 Things I’m Rubbish AtMy Profile

    • March 5, 2012 Alison

      Hah! I realized I was terrible at talking to kids way before I became a mother. I thought I’d be better once I had the baby but I was wrong. Dead wrong.

      • March 5, 2012 Ado

        It’s kind of funny but I am finding that I get better at each age that my children reach, in a way…
        Ado recently wrote…10 Things I’m Rubbish AtMy Profile

  • March 5, 2012 Amanda

    Ha, great minds think alike on the glue gun thing! By the way, you are looking fab and glowy and perfectly pregnant!
    Amanda recently wrote…Minor Quirks and Tragic FlawsMy Profile

    • March 6, 2012 Alison

      Aw, thanks Amanda! Hope your pregnancy is going smoothly!

  • March 5, 2012 Kristi

    Oh crap. I could write a novel on this subject but I say the one most relevant as of now.

    I’m terrible at being patient with my hubby as he cares for my MIL. He drops everything for her and I can’t help but be resentful. I need to learn to be better understanding.
    Kristi recently wrote…Oedipus rears its head in my houseMy Profile

    • March 6, 2012 Alison

      Oh, in laws is a touchy, sensitive, difficult issue. I hope it resolves soon!

  • March 5, 2012 Stasha

    Crafting, sewing, drawing-don’t get me started… And I am rather scared of sewing machines too.
    I did not realize how bad I am at making small talk with kids and teens until I started taking photos. I now must google things to talk to teen girls about.
    Stasha recently wrote…Monday ListiclesMy Profile

    • March 6, 2012 Alison

      Teenage girls should be easy – fashion, makeup, boys? 🙂

  • March 5, 2012 Christine

    Love this list. I’m totally with you on talking to other people’s kids. I don’t know why I feel so awkward about it but I do. And sewing! I make my husband fix things that need to be sewn or else I bring them with me when I visit my Mom and ask her to do it.
    Christine recently wrote…Quiksilver Pro Gold Coast 2012My Profile

    • March 6, 2012 Alison

      Good thing your mom is handy at sewing!

  • March 5, 2012 Cookie's Mom

    How could I possibly judge you for #7? I live for manicures… and pedicures… and massages…
    Cookie’s Mom recently wrote…I have some mad skills. These are not them.My Profile

    • March 6, 2012 Alison

      Soul sistah!

  • March 5, 2012 Jessica

    I suck at Wii tennis but I kicked my husband’s butt at Wii golf.
    Jessica recently wrote…Proving Myself WrongMy Profile

    • March 6, 2012 Alison

      I haven’t tried Golf but I’m pretty sure my lack of hand/ eye coordination will do me in.

  • March 5, 2012 Mark

    Only unattractive girls need make-up. You don’t need to worry about such things. Cross #1 off of your list.
    Mark recently wrote…One hour in StarbucksMy Profile

    • March 6, 2012 Alison

      Aw Mark!! That’s the sweetest thing anyone has said to me in a long while!

  • March 5, 2012 Mirjam

    I suck at Wii Mario, seriously the kids laugh at me!
    On the other hand I’m great at trash talking when I’m on the Wii with my husband. It’s all about intimidation you know.
    Mirjam recently wrote…Picture loveMy Profile

    • March 6, 2012 Alison

      It totally is. That’s why my husband trash talks me all the time. You should see him when we bowl together. Or do anything that requires a winner/ loser!

  • March 5, 2012 jacqui

    I definitely know how to talk to kids. But I am a really bad dancer…and not ashamed of it at all. That’s what drunken dance parties are for. 🙂
    jacqui recently wrote…Based On A True Story…My Profile

    • March 6, 2012 Alison

      Hah! Too bad I never get invited to these parties anymore.

  • March 5, 2012 Twisted Domestic Goddess

    Hey but you can grow humans…that’s enough to make up for all the other crap you suck at!

    • March 6, 2012 Alison

      That is totally true!

  • March 5, 2012 Natalie

    Ha ha I am right with you and the crafting! And sewing…I’ve got a new machine that I’ve yet to open yet. Have a great week!
    Natalie recently wrote…Life’s Lessons: The March EditionMy Profile

    • March 6, 2012 Alison

      But you created some awesome things!!

  • March 5, 2012 Shell

    I suck at crafts, too. And can’t paint my own nails.

    I love lists. Who says that lazy? Lists are awesome. 🙂
    Shell recently wrote…Blissdom in PicsMy Profile

    • March 6, 2012 Alison

      Hee I remember your attempts at craft 🙂

      Lists ARE awesome.

  • March 5, 2012 Christine

    I am proof that sucking at sewing shouldn’t stop you from doing it- just read my latest post! I made peace with my sewing machine and keep the manual out at all times. My kids think I am thee best sewer which is all the motivation I need. They also think I’m the best toilet paper wiper, so, uh, yeah.
    Christine recently wrote…It’s The Process, Not The ProductMy Profile

    • March 6, 2012 Alison

      I read your post and I think you and the kids did awesome!

  • March 6, 2012 Terri Sonoda

    Hi Allison. Good list! Ditto for me on everything except 2 and 8. I AM a big kid so no problem talking to them for me. And this old broad can dance! However, afterwards my body tells me I should not be shaking my bootie or any other part. It’s not pretty, really.
    Have a great Monday!
    Terri Sonoda recently wrote…Sara’s Sleep Part 6My Profile

    • March 6, 2012 Alison

      Oh, to be able to dance. I wish!! Have a good week Terri.

  • March 6, 2012 sara

    I’m not good with other peoples kids either…don’t get me wrong i love my kids, but other peoples….I’m just not too sure what to do with them….AND I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who’s not great a polishing their nails…I end up with more polish on my skin than on my nails lol…Great List 🙂

    • March 6, 2012 Alison

      I feel like an idiot talking to kids! And the nail painting – I just can’t do it properly with my left hand 🙂

  • March 6, 2012 Nicole

    I’m really crappy at all things sports. One of the last soccer practices of my daughter’s season required that parents join in and each time the ball came at me, I screamed out as I kicked it. I kid you not. At least I made contact….but yeah…not embarrassing…at all.
    Nicole recently wrote…The Authentic Blogger Part 2 {Your Favorite Bloggers Share}My Profile

    • March 6, 2012 Alison

      Hahaha!! I’m pretty terrible at sports too, I should have mentioned my lack of hand/ eye coordination extends beyond Wii games 🙂

  • March 6, 2012 Kristen

    My girls have been better at painting their nails since they could practically walk than I am now. I am the worst!!
    You know what you are really good at…writing about things you are crappy at!! 😉 This was a fun list to read.

    • March 6, 2012 Alison

      Haha, thanks Kristen!

  • March 6, 2012 francerants

    Am really crap at sewing too. Really crap. Because 1)I don’t have the patience to measure, 2)I don’t have the talent to measure and 3)I don’t have a third reason, but I like things in 3’s.

    But don’t forget, you can cook and that more than makes up for the lack of sewing!
    francerants recently wrote…Just Give Me My Damn Coffee AlreadyMy Profile

    • March 6, 2012 Alison

      I like things in 3’s too, haha!

      Yes I figure I need to be able to do something well – cooking will have to do 🙂

  • March 6, 2012 Kyla

    I love crap. Thanks for sharing yours.
    Kyla recently wrote…Vulva Free Sports Illustrated Swim Suit Edition…My Profile

    • March 6, 2012 Alison

      Haha, thanks Kyla!

  • March 6, 2012 Missy

    I, too, am terrible at crafting. TERRIBLE.

    Also, laundry and housework. Really terrible. So I don’t do it very much. 😉
    Missy recently wrote…Literal Mom Monday – Know Your Child’s Personality Part 2My Profile

    • March 6, 2012 Alison

      Haha! I don’t mind laundry, as the OCD side of me likes an empty laundry basket and clean clothes. But housework – all the cleaning, tidying etc – gah.

  • Painting nails, crafts, I so hear you. At least you are good at stick figures, that’s very impressive. When I sew (which I try NOT to do very often as I am not so gifted) looks like a very tangled ball of thread resting over a button…great list Alison, a giggle and some awww sigh, me too:)
    Shannon from mynewfavoriteday recently wrote…10 things I am not-so-good at: a #MondayListicle!My Profile

    • March 6, 2012 Alison

      Haha, that’s a funny visual! My limited sewing skills still see me doing a button up neatly, but they never last!

  • March 6, 2012 Jessica

    You are a good drawer! Seriously! Drawing on a computer takes skill! And you’ve got that skill!

    I’m also horrible at applying make-up. Like, really horrible. It’s really sad. I keep telling myself that I will go on youtube and get “trained” in the “art” of makeup application, but I never do. It’s sad. I’m too old for this!

    • March 6, 2012 Alison

      Aw, thanks Jessica. I haven’t drawn in a while because when I last attempted it, I failed miserably and have since given up. For now. 🙂

      I’ve given up on being able to apply make up too. I’ll stick to bare skin!

  • March 6, 2012 christina

    oh yeah, these could all be on my list, too. 🙂
    christina recently wrote…Oh Nick Jr!!!My Profile

    • March 6, 2012 Alison

      It’s good to know I’m not the only non-crafty mom out there who can’t apply makeup or sew 🙂

  • March 6, 2012 Paulette

    I’m not a sewing person at all. I also, am real good at faking crafty w/o actually being crafty.
    Paulette recently wrote…Crocodile Tears and Suck Up GenesMy Profile

    • March 6, 2012 Alison

      You have to tell me how to fake crafty!

      • March 6, 2012 Paulette

        I am only a novice craft faker. Our craft Mom in B’s GS Troop uses a book. Last year nearly everything we made was out of little clay flower pots. (candy corn pots, ice cream cone…)This year, it’s finger print stamp shapes. I made our Law Petals and it took me forever. Basically, google is my friend. That and a daughter who has the whole artistic gene. I’m pretty good at lettering (block/bubble type) and coloring in the letters. It;s a lot like smiling and nodding only with crafts.
        Paulette recently wrote…Crocodile Tears and Suck Up GenesMy Profile

  • I can’t dance or paint my own nails, either! And, I’m actually pretty ok with that.

    Love your list!
    Sharon {Grumpy, Sleepy, and Bashful} recently wrote…10 Things I Simply Cannot DoMy Profile

    • March 6, 2012 Alison

      Thank you Sharon!

  • March 6, 2012 Bridget

    I think being able to do your nails well has something to do with being able to craft. Or vice versa.
    Bridget recently wrote…Monday ListiclesMy Profile

    • March 6, 2012 Alison

      I believe you’re right Bridget.

  • March 6, 2012 Kimberly

    How many cookies do I need to send to get you to dance on camera for us?

    And who said lists are lazy? I live by them!

    • March 6, 2012 Alison

      Not enough, my dear Kimsley!!!

  • March 6, 2012 paul

    Bad dancers unite. there has to be a support group for us some where. LOL
    paul recently wrote…If I Could Only ….My Profile

    • March 6, 2012 Alison

      I believe there are enough of us to start a group, definitely.

  • March 6, 2012 Yoli

    I love #2…. I actually don’t do well with small kids. I never feel like they understand me!
    Yoli recently wrote…10 Things I’m Totally Rubbish At…My Profile

    • March 6, 2012 Alison

      I feel like the kids are looking like me as if I’m an idiot when I try to talk to them 🙂

  • March 6, 2012 Stacey

    I am terrible at drawing too. And painting. And sculpture. Anything artsy. It’s embarrassing, really. 🙂
    Stacey recently wrote…Things I’m Rubbish At As a MotherMy Profile

    • March 6, 2012 Alison

      Don’t be embarrassed!! We rock at other things. Like, er, write 🙂

  • March 6, 2012 Rach (DonutsMama)

    Oh I’m terrible with makeup too! I look like a clown if I apply more than 2 products.
    Rach (DonutsMama) recently wrote…Monday Listicles: *Shocker* I’m Not PerfectMy Profile

    • March 6, 2012 Alison

      You’re beautiful, you don’t need makeup, sweetie.

  • March 6, 2012 Nona

    Wow, you just described myself in you, minus one or two.
    Nona recently wrote…Monday Listicles – Things I’m Rubbish AtMy Profile

    • March 6, 2012 Alison

      Oh it’s good to know we’re not the only ones who are uncrafty and suck at sewing, drawing and all those unimportant things 🙂

  • March 6, 2012 Audrey

    Bahahahaha Your list has me laughing! Stick figures are drawings too 🙂
    Audrey recently wrote…Monday Listicles – 10 things I’m Rubbish atMy Profile

    • March 6, 2012 Alison

      Glad I made you laugh 🙂

  • March 6, 2012 KalleyC

    Sewing. That’s for sure. I can get things to stay closed / on, but it’s not pretty. Far from pretty.
    KalleyC recently wrote…Getting to “That” Stage in LifeMy Profile

    • March 6, 2012 Alison

      Oh I know what you mean!

  • March 7, 2012 Lady Jennie

    I’m bad at fashion. Such a sad thing. On the bright side, my friends have offered to take me out and pick my outfit out for me and actually pay for it! I must really be in bad shape.

    I’m also bad at mothering and listening to my kids. But then again I’m going through a really stressful period so that might be subjective.
    Lady Jennie recently wrote…Endives in BéchamelMy Profile

    • March 7, 2012 Alison

      You’re not bad at mothering, never say that!!

  • March 7, 2012 Kelley

    Love this! I’m definitely crap at painting my own nails! Love yout list. 🙂
    Kelley recently wrote…"The Scrambler" (alternate lyrics to Kenny Roger’s "The Gambler")My Profile

    • March 7, 2012 Alison

      Hehe thanks Kelley!

  • March 7, 2012 Galit Breen

    Oh you, it’s good and humbling to look at what we can;t do, yes?

    Although, girlie? You *are* crafty! I saw Jess’s apron and I think that what you do with your photography so counts. So there. 🙂

    (Loved learning even more about you here!)
    Galit Breen recently wrote…Well Practiced LoveMy Profile

    • March 7, 2012 Alison

      Oh I didn’t make that apron – I ordered it online! Hee!

      And thank you 🙂

  • March 7, 2012 ava

    With the exception of 2, 8 and 9, not to be creepy, but I am you! 😉
    ava recently wrote…Things I’m Rubbish AtMy Profile

    • March 7, 2012 Alison

      No fair, you’re good at dancing AND all things car-related??

  • March 12, 2012 Carri

    I’m not sure anyone can paint their own nails. And other people’s kids? Might as well have antennae. Totally foreign to me!
    Carri recently wrote…How To Use Pinterest as Your Shopping AssistantMy Profile

    • March 12, 2012 Alison

      It’s kinda nice to know I’m not the only mom who doesn’t know how to talk to other people’s kids!

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