My second guest this week is one of my favoritest (there is such a word, I say so) people on the Interwebs.
Tracy of Sellabit Mum is funny, smart, beautiful, inspiring, wears gorgeous clothes, has 3 awesome girls (who also wear gorgeous clothes, lucky girls), and visiting her blog almost daily makes me happy (and probably slightly stalker-ish).
I’ve even started
stalking following her on her new social media endeavor with Jessica of Four Plus An Angel, Pin Savvy Social on all things Pinterest (because if you follow me on Pinterest, you’ll know about my epic Sweet Tooth Board).
When I was thinking about writers I love who have multiple children, to hold the fort for me this week, Tracy came to mind immediately. I knew she would write something thought-provoking, searingly honest and funny. And she did not disappoint. I love this post. And I love this woman.
Thank you, Tracy. xoxo
I will never forget the beautiful moment when Eloise met her newborn baby sister for the first time. I was just moved into my hospital room from recovery after my emergency C-section, and I was holding baby Esther in my arms. Sweet and little, but now not looking all that little, two year old Eloise stood about five feet away and looked unsure of what to do. So I told her to come up on the bed for a snuggle and to meet her new baby sister.
So Eloise climbed up on the bed and then knelt on my incision and then I basically slammed my hand into her chest to stop her forward movement and threw her up in the air with my free hand while yelling “MOTHER F*CK$R HOLY HELL” as loudly as possible, all while never letting go of baby Esther.
It was truly a beautiful moment.
So pretty much for the next year Eloise demanded nearly 120% of my attention while baby Esther sat and cooed in her bouncy seat while I played Eloise’s bitch, as to not damage her for life for how I made the introductions to the person who would now be sharing her mother for the rest of her life.
Well played, Eloise. Well played.
So here’s the thing. For me. Going from one child to two children was not difficult. Mainly because you are usually guaranteed of one good child. Now if you end up with two whiners…….I seriously cannot help you. But your odds are good to get a gem. Eloise was high-maintenance……”spirited” if you need that term, and the new baby, Esther just sat there and nursed and slept and pooped and giggled and got are chubby-wubby, cutest OMG I could just nibble on her all day.
And this made me lucky because I could focus all of my attention on Eloise. I’d throw a boob to Esther on occasion and life was good. I also took very few baby pictures of Esther, as gosh I hope she doesn’t ever find out that I wasn’t that perfect doting parent.
I knew that Eloise loved her sister but I also knew that she kind of loved her mom more. So I did what I needed to do.
And then this amazing thing happened. Esther moved. Like crawled and then walked and talked and could play games and build blocks and play baby dolls and then I sat there one day and watched these two little girls playing together and realized…
I NEVER HAVE TO PLAY CANDYLAND EVER AGAIN.
And I think about all of those emotions we have when we bring another baby into the home. “Will little Tommy feel bad?” “Will Anna be jealous?” “Do I give Mary enough of my time?” “Do I play favorites?” “Will this day ever end?”
And now realize that none of it, none of it matters because YES YES to all of those and NO NO to all of those because as parents of multiple children you cannot be all that or be all there or be everything to everyone all of time….
…..and in the end you pretty much gave those kids the best gift you will ever give them….
….and that is a sibling to grow old with.