How Love Works

posted in: Life 92 comments

“Love works in mysterious ways.”

Does it?

I don’t agree.

Quote about love

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To me, love works …….

… when the husband drags himself out of bed every Sunday after a long week, to make me French toast.

… when the toddler comes over and hugs my head.

… when the husband tells me random news snippets he thinks I’ll find interesting.

… when the toddler looks up from whatever he’s doing and gives me a big smile, just because.

…. when the husband watches Project Runway with me (and made me promise I won’t tell anyone, oops).

… when the toddler says “I you!” (I love you, in Monkey-speak)

… when the husband pats my belly and whispers to the Scrumplet.

… when the toddler gently pats my belly and repeats after me, “Baby!”

… when the husband and I hold hands at the supermarket.

… when the toddler puts his tiny hand in mine, just before he falls asleep.

Love is….

…. hello and goodbye kisses.

…. afternoon phone calls just to talk.

…. evening walks.

…. conversations about our boys.

…. planning our future.

…. toddler kisses.

…. playing trains together.

…. sharing an ice cream.

… bedtime cuddles.

Love is….

…. not that mysterious.

…. the simple things.

…. quiet gestures.

…. a commitment.

…. soul-bindingly deep.

…. comfortable and warm.

…. perfect and effortless with the right people.

Love works in the smallest ways, weaving itself into everyday life, intertwining one experience to the next, yet it takes your breath away like a punch to the gut, when it washes over every fibre of your being.

Love works when one makes room for the other in this world full of distractions and noise.

Yes, love is not that mysterious. Not to me.

What does love mean to you?



Alison Lee is a former PR and marketing professional turned work-at-home mother. After a 10-year career in various PR agencies, and of the world’s biggest sports brands, Alison traded in product launches and world travel, for sippy cups, diapers, and breastfeeding. Alison's writing has been featured on Mamalode, On Parenting at The Washington Post, The Huffington Post, Everyday Family, Scary Mommy, and She is one of 35 essayists in the anthology, My Other Ex: Women’s True Stories of Leaving and Losing Friends. In 2012, she founded Little Love Media, a social media consultancy specializing in blog book tours, and because she doesn’t sleep, is an editor at BonBon Break, an online magazine. Alison lives in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia with her husband and four children (two boys and boy/ girl twins).

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  • February 27, 2012 Missy

    Just beautiful. Thanks for sharing.
    Missy recently wrote…Random Friday Fun and GamesMy Profile

    • February 28, 2012 Alison

      Missy, thank you for reading.

  • February 27, 2012 Jen Has A Pen

    This is so good, Alison. I loved the poetry and how each phrase blended in to the next. I couldn’t agree with you more.
    Jen Has A Pen recently wrote…KaleMy Profile

    • February 28, 2012 Alison

      Thank you Jen. I’m so flattered you called it poetry!

  • February 27, 2012 Jamie

    Smiled the whole time I was reading!
    Jamie recently wrote…easy peasy please β€” link-up!My Profile

    • February 28, 2012 Alison

      So glad you did!

  • February 27, 2012 Olivier

    I agree with you. It is the small things that we do for the special people in life that shows our love for them.
    Olivier recently wrote…layla graceMy Profile

  • February 27, 2012 tracy

    Aw, such good warm feelings. xoxo

  • February 27, 2012 Leah aka FFPMaMMa

    Love is action, not just emotion.
    Love is respecting your husband and husbands pursuing your wives.

    Beautiful Alison. I hope it encourages many who read it.
    Leah aka FFPMaMMa recently wrote…Announcing: "Spreadin’ The Word" featureMy Profile

    • February 28, 2012 Alison

      Thank you Leah, I hope so too πŸ™‚

  • February 27, 2012 Elaine

    You nailed it, girl. Love is ALL those things… and just think, your heart is about to expand even more! πŸ™‚
    Elaine recently wrote…In the Silence / Miss Elaine-ous MondayMy Profile

    • February 28, 2012 Alison

      I know, I’m excited!

  • February 27, 2012 Amanda

    Yep, that pretty much sums it up! Thanks for sharing this, Alison.
    Amanda recently wrote…10 Signs You Might Be a Word NerdMy Profile

  • February 27, 2012 SarahB

    Great post. I love it. To me love is my husband putting up with my crazy and my 4 year old coming in, from another room, just to give me a hug and kiss, for no reason at all. πŸ™‚
    SarahB recently wrote…Thankful Thursday: My Husband RocksMy Profile

  • February 27, 2012 Christine

    This was perfect bedtime reading…going to bed with warm fuzzy feelings. Remember those “Love is” comics? You should totally do a “Love works” theme.
    Christine recently wrote…You Are Not Alone…But You Should Be!My Profile

    • February 28, 2012 Alison

      Thank you Christine! I don’t know if I can do a series, but thank you for your confidence πŸ™‚

  • This put a smile on my face. Thank you for that!
    Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes recently wrote…A day in the life…My Profile

  • February 27, 2012 My Inner Chick

    —when the husband watches Project Runway with me—

    Mama, you are blessed. Mr. Liverpool would NEVER watch PR w/ me!! & I Loooove that show, cuz i’m in love w/ Tim Gunn.

    Happy Monday. x
    My Inner Chick recently wrote…Homage To My HipsMy Profile

    • February 28, 2012 Alison

      He enjoys it as much as I do, haha! (I love Tim Gunn too!)

  • February 27, 2012 Jaime

    What a sweet post. This makes me realize I need to work on my marriage. I need to re-figure out what love means.
    Jaime recently wrote…Mommy’s MadMy Profile

    • February 28, 2012 Alison

      Marriage is constant work. It’s so easy to put that aside when we’re so preoccupied with our kids. The good thing is, it’s easy to start with small simple steps to improve our relationships. Good luck!

  • February 27, 2012 Talking Thirty

    Loved this post. So true and so beautiful! To me, love is the warm feeling I get when I see my husband and our 8-month-old baby boy eagerly greet and nuzzle each other after a long work-day apart.
    Talking Thirty recently wrote…Featured on BlogHer Moms and Expandng.comMy Profile

    • February 28, 2012 Alison

      Love father-son moments!

  • February 27, 2012 Stephanie Stearns Dulli

    So sweet! I love when Boss wants me to snuggle with him and sing songs. It makes my heart full!
    Stephanie Stearns Dulli recently wrote…And then Rick Santorum had a point…and I died a little inside.My Profile

    • February 28, 2012 Alison

      Yes, a full heart. Love that.

  • February 28, 2012 Lady Jennie

    I love to see all the snippets from your lives and to see how happy you are.

    (And my husband watches Downton Abbey with me). πŸ™‚
    Lady Jennie recently wrote…Basic Necessities: WaterMy Profile

    • February 28, 2012 Alison

      My husband and I both LOVE Downton Abbey!

  • February 28, 2012 grace

    I had to laugh at this b/c I recently got my hubs HOOKED on Project Runway Season 9… we had just watched the second-to-last epi the night before I had to leave for a trip and he said, “do you mind if I watch the season finale while your gone?” hahahaha. yes! I got him roped in…ahhhh…now that’s love. =)

    • February 28, 2012 Alison

      Haha yes, that IS love. πŸ™‚

  • February 28, 2012 Katie E

    This is so sweet, Alison. I don’t know that there’s anything I can add to your list, but I agreed with almost everyone. It is the simple things.
    Katie E recently wrote…Questions and AnswersMy Profile

  • February 28, 2012 Ado

    Wow I’m impressed that your husband makes you French Toast on Sunday mornings AND watches Project Runway with you. He’s a keeper! Loved this post.
    Ado recently wrote…Top 10 Hodge PodgeMy Profile

    • February 28, 2012 Alison

      He totally is!

  • February 28, 2012 Jocelyn

    Oh how I love this! Simply beautiful, and I agree with all of it.

  • February 28, 2012 Jaime

    There is so much about love that is easy. My husband and I have been together for almost 17 years (half of my life! Yikes!) and we read each other so well. We know what the other likes and dislikes. And the love that I have for my daughter is the most spiritual thing I have ever felt. Loving her is the easiest thing I have ever done.
    Jaime recently wrote…Kalahari Water ParkMy Profile

    • February 28, 2012 Alison

      So glad you have so much love in your life, Jamie.

  • February 28, 2012 Jessica

    This is such a lovely post! Love is the simple things. Love is kind. It humbles you and gives and gives while expecting nothing of you in return.

    • February 28, 2012 Alison

      That is so true, Jessica!

  • February 28, 2012 Mary Trunk

    Love is when my 10 year old (tween!!!) daughter barely says a word to me all morning and absolutely nothing during the drive to school and just before she gets out of the car she leans forward, rests her head on my shoulder and says, “Can I sit here for a minute longer?” Thanks for the post!

    • February 28, 2012 Alison

      Aw, that’s such a sweet moment!

  • February 28, 2012 Kimberly

    Beautiful post, Alison! It’s the simple things, yet completely overwhelming.
    Kimberly recently wrote…Our Useless TalentMy Profile

    • February 28, 2012 Alison

      Thank you Kimsley! Yes, overwhelming it can be.

  • February 28, 2012 JDaniel4's Mom

    You captured wonderfully how the simple things make a heart flutters and a mom want to tear up.
    JDaniel4’s Mom recently wrote…Muffin Tin Monday-Leap Year SnackMy Profile

    • February 28, 2012 Alison

      Thank you Deirdre!

  • February 28, 2012 Jessica

    Love is the little things and the big things and everything in between.
    Jessica recently wrote…I Have My Monster MomentsMy Profile

    • February 28, 2012 Alison

      You’re a poet, Jess πŸ™‚

  • February 28, 2012 Kimberly

    Exactly this.
    So beautiful Alison.
    Kimberly recently wrote…When You Can’t Write It On Your Blog, You Can Write It Here. Always. Happy Period.My Profile

    • February 28, 2012 Alison

      Thank you sweetface. xo

  • February 28, 2012 Elena

    This is such a pretty post, Alison. Love is a wonderful thing.
    Elena recently wrote…While You Were Getting Your Bliss On…My Profile

    • February 28, 2012 Alison

      SO wonderful!

  • February 28, 2012 Tonya

    This warmed by heart! Love is all of this and so much more. πŸ™‚
    Tonya recently wrote…24 EnvelopesMy Profile

    • February 28, 2012 Alison

      It is so much more. Sometimes, it’s hard to put into words πŸ™‚

  • February 28, 2012 Lola

    I love this post, Alison.
    And I totally agree that love does not work in mysterious ways.
    Love is not mysterious.
    It can be very complicated (like life itself, children, and marriage) but it’s not mysterious.
    Unless you live in a romance novel.
    Then it’s mysterious. And sexy…
    with orgasms ALL. THE. TIME.

    • February 28, 2012 Alison

      Hahahaha!!! Yes, you’re right – are you speaking from experience? Ahem.

  • February 28, 2012 Mirjam

    I did not have the time to read a single blog post today. But right before I turned of the light to go to sleep, I decided to read just one post..
    I’m so glad I did, wonderful post Alison, just wonderful! (Yawn, I’m going to sleep now!)
    Mirjam recently wrote…TraditionsMy Profile

    • February 28, 2012 Alison

      I’m so glad you stayed awake to read my post πŸ™‚

  • February 28, 2012 Runnermom-jen

    Ooh, I LOVE head hugs…they’re the best. And you are so’s the little things, the simple things. Wonderful post, friend πŸ™‚
    Runnermom-jen recently wrote…I’m Still Here…My Profile

    • February 28, 2012 Alison

      Thank you Jen. We’re so lucky to still get head hugs πŸ™‚

  • February 28, 2012 Julia

    Oh how beautiful! Sometimes, I get frustrated that our lives are no longer romantic, but then I remember all of these little things that make up our lives, and that is the true meaning of love after all. Thank you for a beautiful post!
    Julia recently wrote…Starting to Share the SecretMy Profile

    • February 28, 2012 Alison

      Thank you for reading Julia. And yes, love is not always about romance πŸ™‚

  • February 28, 2012 Kiddothings

    That’s so true – love is the simple things. It only becomes a mystery when your spouse does something stupid that makes you question why you love him.
    Kiddothings recently wrote…Jhoosh Zching Phoosh!!!My Profile

    • February 28, 2012 Alison

      Hahahaha so true!

  • February 28, 2012 Sandra

    Awww, this was lovely! I love how you’re so grateful for all the little things. I need to take a page from you book, I’m cranky as hell these days. Love your preggers pick by the way, you sure do know how to rock the bump pretty lady!
    Sandra recently wrote…The bitch is backMy Profile

    • February 28, 2012 Alison

      It’s because you have no sugar in your system!! And thank you!

  • February 28, 2012 elizabeth-flourishinprogress

    To me, love means my husband loving me even when I don’t love myself.

    Always, in all ways.

    P.S. Girl, you are looking GOOD for 30 weeks!!
    elizabeth-flourishinprogress recently wrote…Monday Dare (and giveaway): Mommy, I hope you don’t go to jail.My Profile

    • February 28, 2012 Alison

      That is so true, Liz!!!

      And thank you!

  • February 28, 2012 Leslie

    What a great way to describe love. Far beyond that rush of emotion at the beginning of a relationship; love can be found in the little things.
    Leslie recently wrote…{Mama Monday} Family & Life UpdateMy Profile

    • February 28, 2012 Alison

      Yes, you said that succinctly, Leslie πŸ™‚

  • February 28, 2012 Erica M

    I you, Alison! What a sweet post.
    Erica M recently wrote…a little yeah write Q & A: your avatar on the thumbnail grid needs a faceMy Profile

    • February 28, 2012 Alison

      Aw, thanks Erica, I you too!

  • February 28, 2012 Kristen

    Love to me is when my husband and my girls reach for my hand at the most random times when I least expect it.
    Kristen recently wrote…My Baby Turned Eight…My Profile

    • February 28, 2012 Alison

      I love that!

  • February 28, 2012 Kristin

    For me, love is my increasingly squirmy, rambunctious, independent toddler tugging on my leg while I’m chopping vegetables and saying, “Cuddle, Mommy.” That actually happened tonight. And my heart melted a little. And so I put down the knife, led her to the couch, and we cuddled. Dinner could wait.
    Kristin recently wrote…What I Did While You Were at BlissdomMy Profile

    • February 28, 2012 Alison

      Aw, that’s so sweet. Yes, dinner can wait. Love and the children cannot. Should not.

  • February 28, 2012 Christine

    I love this post. It gave me the warm fuzzies. I think that my favorite is “when the toddler comes over and hugs my head.” A close second for me is when my 2-year old son comes up to me and asks in his itty bitty voice, “Mommy, can you come play with me?” Love.
    Christine recently wrote…Scenes From My Weekend – Lake TahoeMy Profile

    • February 28, 2012 Alison

      I just love when kids show their love in their little kid ways πŸ™‚

  • February 28, 2012 Natalie

    I agree 100%! You described love perfectly πŸ™‚
    Natalie recently wrote…Oh Weekend, Where Did You Go?My Profile

  • February 28, 2012 Brittany {Mommy Words}

    I loved this post and I agree that there are so many little things that make up love. But here’s the catch for me. It can be mysterious. Yes, my husband and kids do wonderful little things and they make up our love but right now, there are mysteries to our love as we struggle with the big decision, as you know.

    Sometimes it is not comfortable or easy to love. It can be hard and confusing and coming out the other end makes it worth it. This is especially true with our partners. We picked them right? Unlike our kids, who we are responsible for, love with a partner can be confusing at times.

    I thought that the post was beautiful. I just wanted to share my view on love that sometimes becomes complicated by life.

    Brittany {Mommy Words} recently wrote…On My Due Date, I GrieveMy Profile

    • February 28, 2012 Alison

      I love your perspective, Brittany, and you’re absolutely right. I do know where you’re coming from and I can see the struggle you speak of. Life does complicate everything, doesn’t it? xo

  • February 28, 2012 Galit Breen

    Le sigh.

    It really is the simple things, isn’t it?

    The happy, the willing to push through the not-so-happy, the I’d rather be right here.

    One more time: Le sigh.

    (Lovely post.)
    Galit Breen recently wrote…EasyMy Profile

    • February 28, 2012 Alison

      Yes, you nailed it as always, Galit. xo

  • February 28, 2012 Charlotte

    Oh, wow. I just love this so much. But this is my absolutely favorite and gave me goosebumps:

    “…when the husband pats my belly and whispers to the Scrumplet.” <This reduces me to a puddle of mush. what a beautiful thing/feeling πŸ™‚
    Charlotte recently wrote…Just as I amMy Profile

    • February 28, 2012 Alison

      It is πŸ™‚ Thank you Charlotte.

  • February 28, 2012 Kir

    this is perfect…just like LOVE is…wow, Alison this truly touched me today. I feel this way about LOVE too, that it’s not mysterious or work behind the scenes, it’s front and center, out in the open for all to see and hear most times. It makes everything better.

    I loved this.
    Kir recently wrote…Just Be Enough: The Return of What I Like About MeMy Profile

    • February 28, 2012 Alison

      You said it so well – front and centre, out in the open. Yes, this. πŸ™‚

  • February 29, 2012 Carol Webb

    Love is certainly those little yet precious moments that bring you together with another. Love your well said thoughts. Thank you.
    Carol Webb recently wrote…Fisher Price Rain Forest Bouncer ReviewMy Profile

    • February 29, 2012 Alison

      Thank you for reading, Carol.

  • March 1, 2012 Bruna

    Love as you describe it is the kind of love real people feel. Moms. Dads. Spouses. Happy people. The simple things bring about love.
    Bruna recently wrote…summer girl by heartMy Profile

    • March 1, 2012 Alison

      Life is complicated enough – Love has to be simple for me or I wouldn’t be able to handle it πŸ™‚

  • March 4, 2012 Twisted Domestic Goddess

    Stupid pregnancy hormones totally made me blubber on this captured LOVE perfectly!
    Twisted Domestic Goddess recently wrote…I’m So Not Cut Out To Be a Public School ParentMy Profile

    • March 4, 2012 Alison

      Aw, sorry! πŸ™‚ And thank you.

  • March 5, 2012 Greta

    Aw! Love means something different to everyone. But it’s magical when you find the person that makes you want to write a list a mile long about the ways you show each other your love.

    • March 5, 2012 Alison

      That is absolutely true!

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