Letter From a One Year Old

posted in: Birthday, Monkey My Son 0 comments

Last year, I had an ingenious idea to start writing letters on behalf of my son to various members of the family who were living far away, as a way to keep them updated.

Let’s just say there weren’t many letters. 

This is one written to my sister’s then-fiance/ now husband. He is a seaman, and was somewhere on the vast ocean, when Monkey turned one. He wrote an email addressed to Monkey, so a reply was sent accordingly. It’s only polite after all. 

December 30, 2010

Dear Uncle G (Mama insists I refer to you as ‘Uncle’ – she says it’s a sign of ‘res-peck’?),

Thank you for your birthday wishes. I am now ONE! Mama tells me that’s supposed to be exciting. But I hear TWO is better because then, I am allowed to be ‘terrible’. I’m not sure what that means, but it sure sounds fun! Especially when Mama says it with a look on her face that means it’s probably not fun for her. I discovered early that what’s fun for me (when I was small, I used to try pee on Mama all the time, it was fun), is usually the opposite for her. Being a child, and a boy child at that, I think I’m supposed to do the opposite of what Mama tells me.

Your ‘thermos flask’ pressie (Mama tells me old people keep their coffee in it, so I don’t know what it is) sounds um, exciting (Mama told me to say that, it’s ‘puh-lite’). [Note: Uncle G said in his email he was planning to give Monkey a thermos flask as a present] Mama and Papa didn’t give me any pressies yesterday. Apparently it’s because I get pressies all the time anyway. Papa says making birthdays a big deal gives children a misguided sense of entitlement. It’s a lot of big words, I don’t really understand it. Mama did try to give me something called a cupcake. I nearly threw up when I saw it. It was brown and smelt funny. She then tried to make me touch it. I gagged again. And worse, she actually tried to make me eat it! It looked like poo so I refused. I attached a picture of me giving the ‘cupcake’ the evil eye.


So I don’t know if I will like chocolates. [Note: Uncle G said he was going to get me chocolates] When I asked Mama what it was, she looked very happy. Mama is addicted to chocolates. She told me she ate loads when I was still a fetus. But if it looks anything like that ‘cupcake’, I’m not sure I will like it. Mama said to tell you that dark chocolate is best. And that I’m supposed to tell you I like it, so you don’t think shes trying to wrangle something for herself. Greedy Mama!

I have EIGHT teeth! I like to use them to bite Mama. I like making marks with them and Mama’s skin is perfect for it. She doesn’t seem to like it much though. Which proves that my earlier theory is correct. I don’t know why she makes such a fuss. It’s just little nips here and there. She likes to show people the ‘brooses’ on her arms and legs, supposedly caused by my biting. But Auntie S [Note: Monkey’s aunt, my sister, Uncle G’s fiancee] pointed out that they are ‘love bites’. And I love my Mama. And Auntie S. I’m not sure I’ll love you Uncle G, as I’ve not met you. So I hope you will be nice and entertaining! And please don’t laugh loudly, it scares me and if you do, I will NEVER like you. I don’t know what ‘bald’ looks like as I have lots of hair, even when I was brand new. ]Note: Uncle G is bald]

I asked Mama about cricket and she told me it’s an insect. So I don’t know why people wear pants while playing with insects. I prefer not to wear pants sometimes. It’s so hot here! But Mama tells me it’s ‘civilized’. [Note: Uncle G loves watching cricket]

Today, I am 1 year, 1 day. It doesn’t feel different though. But by the time you come visit me, Mama tells me I’ll be a big boy then as I’ll be able to walk and run! Yay! (I can actually walk secretly, I just like Mama to carry me around).

Say hello to the fishes Mama says. And Mama says hello too.

Bye bye!


And that’s it folks! My last post for the year. Have yourself a fabulous New Year, and see you back here on January 2!! (or 3rd, or 4th, you know, whenever you choose to come back to real life)




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  • December 30, 2011 Robin

    What a totally awesome letter. That cupcake picture is hilarious. Classic kids – not knowing what’s good.

    Happy New Year to all of you!

    PS Nice crown. 🙂
    Robin recently wrote…Farewell to 2011 in Photos: Link-upMy Profile

    • December 31, 2011 Alison

      Is my kid the only child in the world who hates dessert?????

      Happy New Year Robin!!

      (I wear my crown with pride, hee!)

  • December 30, 2011 My Inner Chick

    ~~~Happy Birthday, Monkey.

    Can I have a bite of your birthday/Christmas cupcake?

    My Inner Chick recently wrote…I Want To Tell YouMy Profile

    • December 31, 2011 Alison

      Monkey says help yourself, he hates cakes! (I know, what? Is he mine??)

  • December 30, 2011 Sandra

    That little baby has one hell of a vocab! And that cupcake does NOT look like poo!
    Sandra recently wrote…An ode to my ex-husbandMy Profile

    • December 31, 2011 Alison

      That’s okay, more cake for me!

  • December 30, 2011 Ann

    That was SO sweet – sweet of you to write the letter and sweet of uncle G to send the letter!

    It’s amazing how much fun guys have when they’re doing something we don’t want them to do! Honey Bunny is the same way – so it’s the same the world over!
    Ann recently wrote…Steak and Onion PaniniMy Profile

    • December 31, 2011 Alison

      Hee, thanks Ann!

  • December 30, 2011 Alexandra

    You will love having this as they grow up.

    Yes, you will.

    Happy Holidays, dear lady.

    Alexandra recently wrote…Resolved: Ways For My Children To Get To Know Me BetterMy Profile

    • December 31, 2011 Alison

      I think I need to write more letters from a child’s perspective :

      Happy New Year to you, dear friend. xo

  • December 30, 2011 Maureen

    Awww what a cutie patootie! That’s such a precious letter than I’m sure he would love to enjoy reading when he’s all grown up. 😀
    Maureen recently wrote…2011 In A FlashbackMy Profile

    • December 31, 2011 Alison

      Hopefully he doesn’t think his mother is a nut case 🙂

  • December 30, 2011 tracy

    So cute -love! Happy New Year sweet friend! xo
    tracy recently wrote…Time…My Profile

    • December 31, 2011 Alison

      Thank you, happy new year to you too!

  • December 30, 2011 Galit Breen

    Such a cute idea and I love this idea! Happy New Year, you! xo
    Galit Breen recently wrote…Kissing WonderMy Profile

    • December 31, 2011 Alison

      Hee! If only I could have kept it up 🙂 Happy New Year!

  • December 30, 2011 Kimberly

    “I use them to bite Mama”…hee hee stinker.
    This is a great idea.
    I usually post pictures up on Facebook for family and friends and use the captions as “chunky” talk.
    Kimberly recently wrote…Look For The Girl With The Cracked Smile.My Profile

    • December 31, 2011 Alison

      Ooh I do that still!! Some people think that’s weird, but whatever 😉

  • December 31, 2011 Mirjam

    It’s a really great idea, but I don’t think anyone could pull it off to write such a great letter as you did. You are creative!
    Mirjam recently wrote…Moving forwardMy Profile

    • December 31, 2011 Alison

      Aw, thanks Mirjam, that’s too kind of you to say 🙂

  • December 31, 2011 Kimberly

    What a cute idea! I usually write letters to the kids, but I love this idea instead.
    Kimberly recently wrote…It Still HurtsMy Profile

    • December 31, 2011 Alison

      You should totally try it, it’s so much fun!

  • December 31, 2011 Tomekha

    Awwww, so cute 🙂
    Tomekha recently wrote…In the Mirror Behind – Adieu 2011My Profile

  • January 1, 2012 Kelley

    That is sweet and a cute way to keep family updated. I like how Monkey says his words!
    Kelley recently wrote…My Unofficial Compton Vacation Guide for 2012My Profile

    • January 1, 2012 Alison

      He’s improving daily 😉

  • January 1, 2012 Cindy

    Such an adorable letter:) it really made my day. I wish you a very happy and beautiful new year!
    Cindy recently wrote…Oral Hygiene – Why is it so important?My Profile

    • January 1, 2012 Alison

      Thank you Cindy, happy new year!

  • January 1, 2012 Sweaty

    Happy One Year Old, Monkey boy! It might be too early to decide not to like chocolates because I definitely agree with your mama that they are delicious ;))

    Happy New Year to you and your family, Alison! What a year it’s been. Wishing you joy and happiness all year long. Here’s to new, exciting adventures and many more successes in 2012!
    Sweaty recently wrote…A Farewell to 2011My Profile

    • January 1, 2012 Alison

      And to you, Sweaty! Happy new year!

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