I am co-hosting a fun link up, Memories Captured, with Galit Breen of These Little Waves this week, from December 5-9. Link up and you have a chance to win a 16 x 20 Canvas Press photo print! Link up here now!
I may have deluded you into thinking I can actually bake. I wrote a guest post at Kiddothings about how to avoid baking disasters. I have a page dedicated to baking and cooking. I deluded myself into thinking I could bake.
Last week, I thudded down into reality and landed on my backside. I was raring to go, really wanting to bake cookies, spurred on by the ongoing #cookieswap organized by Katie of Practical Parenting. I can’t play because of the pesky fact that I’m in Malaysia, but I wanted to show everyone what they were missing out on. My wonderful cookies.
I should have stuck to my ever reliable oatmeal raisin cookies. Except I didn’t have any oatmeal or raisins.
Or I could have made chocolate chip cookies, easy. Except I didn’t have any chocolate chips.
So I decided to to make coffee cookies, which I’ve made before, once. I remember they were delicious. How hard could it be? The recipe which I glanced briefly at in the morning looked straightforward.
That was my first mistake, and I broke my first rule. That of reading the recipe properly.
The other was that I didn’t really follow the directions. Or have all the ingredients.
Meh, I’ll substitute.
It was like a comedy of errors.
Instead of golden syrup (which is like treacle) which I didn’t have, I decided to use organic molasses. Google said that I could substitute it with golden molasses. Mine didn’t look golden, but it was molasses. Ahem.
Instead of brown sugar, I used cane sugar. Because, guess what, I didn’t have brown sugar. At this point, you’d think I’d stop and look for another recipe, right? No. I plowed on.
The recipe said, mix a tablespoon of baking powder with a a few spoonfuls of room temperature coffee. What did I do? I poured the whole tablespoon into an entire hot cup of coffee. What? I was distracted by the smell of freshly brewed coffee.
The method described mixing the flour, sugar and salt, with the butter and it should resemble bread crumbs. Mine did not. It looked like cake batter. Oh, and I forgot to add the sugar, until I’d mixed the flour and salt with the butter. Did this deter me? No.
Then I got to the part where it said after mixing everything, put the mixture aside and leave overnight.
Overnight?? But I want cookies NOW. And, I already have the oven on and preheated!
So I persisted.
Although I had a pretty bad feeling when the dough looked remarkably like poop. I did not take pictures as I was a little mortified (at this point, I was going to insert a picture I was going to get from Google images. Please, take my advice – do not Google ‘poop’).
Anyway, I dropped big tablespoons of dough onto two greased cookie trays and popped them into the oven.
8 minutes into the 12 minutes of baking time, I looked into the oven.
My ‘cookies’ had merged into one big tray of baked poop.
I turned off the oven, scraped the half-baked shit into the bin, poured the rest of the dough out and took the whole disaster out into the refuse area of my apartment building, so I wouldn’t have my failure staring right back at me.
I then washed up quickly before my husband came home, so he couldn’t witness my complete humiliation.
Next time, I’ll just stick to baking these.
Tell me I’m not the only one with baking disasters. How did you screw up in the kitchen?