A Letter to All Girls

posted in: Beauty, Life 0 comments

Dear Girls,

I’m writing to you as a 35-year old woman who has battled with demons of insecurity for most of my young life.

As a young girl, I have told myself, I’m not smart enough. I’m not beautiful enough. I’m not tall enough. I’m not sweet and gentle and soft-spoken enough.

You would have told yourself some similar things too.

You would have compared yourself to the images you see on television, in magazines, on the Internet.

The images of ‘beauty’ as projected by the media.

The tall, leggy, flawless-complexioned goddesses with perfect hair, teeth, breasts and lives.

And you would have gone to the mirror and not see the perfect skin, hair, teeth, breasts and body.

And you would pluck, powder, bleach, dye, starve yourself to look like those impossibly perfect women.

And you would still be unhappy with how you look.

It could be because some boy laughed at your slightly buck teeth.

It could be because a friend commented on that one pimple on your nose.

It could be because someone said your hair color is ‘kinda mousy’.

And you would sink into that hole of “I am not beautiful.”

Girls, you need to know something.

Beauty cannot be crafted from makeup, hair gel, waxing, tanning and dieting.

Beauty is crafted from kindness, empathy, love and light.

Be kind to yourself and others.

Be gentle.

Be thoughtful.

Be loving.

Be open.

Be accepting.

And you will be beautiful.


From someone who knows now that she is beautiful.

Image Source


Linking this post to Bees With Honey’s new monthly meme, BEE Beautiful You, where Bruna encourages us to celebrate inner and outer beauty.
BEE Beautiful You

And linking to lovelinks #31.

Tell me something beautiful about yourself.




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  • November 15, 2011 Runnermom-jen

    What a wonderful post, Alison. I hope that if you have a girl this time, you will share this letter with her when the time is right for it. πŸ™‚
    Runnermom-jen recently wrote…When You Need a VacationMy Profile

  • November 15, 2011 Yuliya

    This is lovely…I’m not 35 yet maybe this is why I’m not there yet? I want to be there though so thanks for writing this for the women too.
    Yuliya recently wrote…Can we be friends? Part 1My Profile

    • November 16, 2011 Alison

      I think you’re beautiful, Yuliya.

  • November 15, 2011 Tina

    What a beautiful post! πŸ™‚
    Tina recently wrote…7 Tips To Do AFTER A Networking Event {Part 3}My Profile

  • November 15, 2011 tracy

    Very well said. xo
    tracy recently wrote…If You Had to Choose Judy Blume’s Forever over Catechism…My Profile

  • November 15, 2011 Vi Nguyen

    Excellent post. I’m usually a confident person, but do find myself self-conscious from time to time, esp after having two kids that ripped my body apart, haha. Gotta keep your words in mind! πŸ™‚
    Vi Nguyen recently wrote…Project BG2: Week 36 – They Put Me In a Trash BagMy Profile

  • November 15, 2011 Bruna

    I love this! Beauty is so many things. Different things to different people. We often don’t see the beauty that lies within us and are so easily influenced by what the media says we need to look like from the outside. If only we read blogs that told us otherwise when we were young and naive!
    Bruna recently wrote…bee beautiful you: the reclaiming ME editionMy Profile

    • November 16, 2011 Alison

      Yes, if only!

  • November 15, 2011 Elaine

    I SO wish ALL the girls/women in this world could take your words to heart. If only….

    So beautiful Alison!! Thank you for this…
    Elaine recently wrote…My True ColorsMy Profile

    • November 16, 2011 Alison

      One can hope, right? Even if I can make a difference for one girl (or woman), I’ll be happy.

  • November 15, 2011 Kimberly

    I wish every girl and woman could read this and take it to heart. It’s all so very true, but sometimes so very hard to see.
    Kimberly recently wrote…My Bad BoysMy Profile

    • November 16, 2011 Alison

      It is hard to see – the media is pervasive and blinding. I hope to make a difference, even with one girl, one woman.

  • November 15, 2011 Carri

    Very true! Becoming comfortable in your own skin is part of growing up.
    Carri recently wrote…Sadly, This Wasn’t a Halloween CostumeMy Profile

  • November 15, 2011 Natalie

    What a beautiful and inspiring post! We are all so insecure when we were younger.
    Natalie recently wrote…Sometimes You Just Have to Ask Why?My Profile

  • November 15, 2011 Galit Breen

    This? Is stunning and important and all that is good that we can do for our young girls.

    Love this, Alison, truly.
    Galit Breen recently wrote…Our Jewish Family Is Celebrating Christmas This YearMy Profile

    • November 16, 2011 Alison

      Thank you dear friend.

  • November 15, 2011 Ann

    *sigh* That was a BEAUTIFUL post…Much like you. While I lack certain physical beauty – but thanks to a warm husband and family – I KNOW that I’m a smokin’ hot beautiful chick! (who cooks!)
    Ann recently wrote…Quinoa Stuffed SquashMy Profile

    • November 16, 2011 Alison

      Oh yes you are!

  • November 15, 2011 Erica M

    We can apply this to our parenting as well. Being a parent is when I’m at my most confident and insecure at the same time. Touching post. Thanks for sharing it at lovelinks.
    Erica M recently wrote…lovelinks #31 is openMy Profile

  • November 15, 2011 Kiddothings

    Yes, definitely what all girls need to know. And in this day and age – boys too.
    Kiddothings recently wrote…My Beauty RegimenMy Profile

  • November 15, 2011 Jessica

    If only we could get young girls to read these words and to believe that they are true.
    Jessica recently wrote…Two Stools Will Get You Far In LifeMy Profile

  • November 15, 2011 Catheryn

    Thank you for this beautiful letter. it came just at the right time when I am feeling a little lousy about me, well, about being a not-good-enough mother and wife.
    Catheryn recently wrote…Cooking ~ Burger Cubes Stirfried Potatoes & CarrotsMy Profile

    • November 16, 2011 Alison

      If I can help just one person see their beauty, I’ll be happy πŸ™‚

  • November 15, 2011 Katie E

    Beautiful post, Alison. You have such a way with words.
    Katie E recently wrote…A Hard Story to TellMy Profile

    • November 16, 2011 Alison

      Aw, thank you Katie.

  • November 15, 2011 Barbara

    Such a great post! I could have used a letter like this when I was growing up!
    Barbara recently wrote…Holiday PlanningMy Profile

  • November 15, 2011 Sweaty

    I love this post, Alison! It’s so empowering and real. I hope that many women out there–young and old–gets to read this post. How you’ve grown into this confident, wise, beautiful woman from that old, insecure self that you once were! Every girl growing up should read this! Really! AWESOME post!
    Sweaty recently wrote…Pivotal ConversationsMy Profile

    • November 16, 2011 Alison

      It took a while and a lot of fighting within myself, but I’ve come to accept me for me, warts and all πŸ™‚

  • November 15, 2011 JDaniel4's Mom

    I really love the quote you chose! What a wonderful post!
    JDaniel4’s Mom recently wrote…Pause Life for a Moment-Adventures in MommylandMy Profile

  • November 15, 2011 Kir

    this is just gorgeous and that quote *SWOON*, truly, this made me proud to be a woman today. It was a gorgeous love letter from all of us to our bodies, our minds, our flaws and our amazing abilities !
    Kir recently wrote…RemembeRED: Listen To Your MomMy Profile

    • November 16, 2011 Alison

      Thank you Kir. That was a whopper of a cupcake comment!

  • November 15, 2011 Mirjam

    I really love this post.
    I wish there was someone who sat me down and told me these things when I was a teenager!
    Mirjam recently wrote…Almost perfectMy Profile

    • November 16, 2011 Alison

      Thank you Mirjam, I’m glad you like it. I wish I had someone tell me this too. I hope with this post, I can reach out to someone who’s like the old, young, insecure me.

  • November 15, 2011 Melissa

    This post was wonderful! I think that media and peer pressure influences young girls to over examine what covers the outside.
    Melissa recently wrote…Wyoming Travel Nursing: What Have I Done?My Profile

  • November 15, 2011 Lindsey

    All of this is so true. I don’t know a woman who hasn’t been there. And the most unfortunate part is that I’m not sure I know a woman who’d completely believe your words about herself either.
    Lindsey recently wrote…Ways to say β€˜I love you’ to your kids.My Profile

    • November 16, 2011 Alison

      That is unfortunate. But I hope that some women/ girls will come to believe that beauty is from the inside.

  • November 15, 2011 Charlotte

    What a beautiful post this is. And my favorite part: “Beauty is crafted from kindness, empathy, love and light.”

    I also could have used something like this when I was growing up… but even in my 30s, it’s nice to be reminded of the things that truly matter.

    Charlotte recently wrote…smittenMy Profile

    • November 16, 2011 Alison

      Thank you Charlotte. For the record, I do think you’re beautiful.

  • November 15, 2011 RoryBore

    oh, I love that quote. That is wonderful. Thanks for sharing your honest, and beautiful heart.
    RoryBore recently wrote…Tuesday Coffee Chat – Random Thoughts CallingMy Profile

  • November 15, 2011 Ado

    I love me some Khalil.
    I’m secretly hoping you’re having a girl so you can read her this letter. It’s beautiful. (-:
    Ado recently wrote…Wonderful Safety For Your Party-Pretty Hands!My Profile

    • November 16, 2011 Alison

      I love Khalil too.

      If I have a girl, this letter goes into her hope chest. πŸ™‚

  • November 15, 2011 Julie

    I’m really hoping you have a daughter, because you’ll be a great mom who will show her her beauty from the beginning!
    Julie recently wrote…Monday Meals: Talkin’ TurkeyMy Profile

  • November 16, 2011 Trish

    Amen, sister! This was beautifully written, and so very true. If there’s one thing that age gives us, it’s perspective. At least, it should be! I believe that learning the truth about outside vs. inside beauty shines through and enhances outer beauty. The most beautiful women I know are all over 30, some are decades over 30. Bravo, Alison!
    Trish recently wrote…An American HolidayMy Profile

    • November 16, 2011 Alison

      Thank you Trish!

  • November 16, 2011 Kyla

    I really would love to visit with my 12 year old self.
    Kyla recently wrote…I Love My Job, repeat, I Love my Job, repeatMy Profile

  • November 16, 2011 A Morning Grouch

    I LOVE THIS. And as a teacher of high school girls, I am absolutely printing this out and passing your letter along.
    A Morning Grouch recently wrote…Heather, The Sleepwalker: A Brief HistoryMy Profile

    • November 16, 2011 Alison

      Aw, really? I would be flattered and thrilled. Thank you.

      • November 16, 2011 A Morning Grouch

        Passed it along to two so far. One has a little binder that she keeps all of her writings/poems for when she needs a little lift. We put a tab in and I put in things that I find online πŸ˜‰ So we thought yours was binder-worthy.
        A Morning Grouch recently wrote…Heather, The Sleepwalker: A Brief HistoryMy Profile

  • November 16, 2011 Mad Woman behind the Blog

    And this is why I love you. Your words, so honest, so heartfelt. You are truly beautiful.
    I pray I can raise my daughter to believe in herself, to believe in her inner beauty and to be all these things.

    • November 16, 2011 Alison

      *sniff* Thank you. I know you will, because you’re strong, beautiful and awesome all round.

  • November 16, 2011 Amber

    I enjoyed reading this. I’m not 35 (31 so getting there ;)) I wish my daughters were a little older so they could read this and understand.

  • November 16, 2011 Shell

    Oh how I wish I’d realized this early on!
    Shell recently wrote…Someone Else Be the Adult, PleaseMy Profile

  • November 16, 2011 Miss Marina Star

    Still struggling with this after ALL these years.

    Thank you.
    Miss Marina Star recently wrote…The Ugly TruthMy Profile

    • November 16, 2011 Alison

      You WILL get there, trust me.

  • November 16, 2011 Greta

    Yes. If we could teach all of our girls this, the world would be a more beautiful, wonderful, loving, accepting place.
    Greta recently wrote…Dear Blanket,My Profile

  • November 16, 2011 June

    Thank you Alison. God only knows that I need to hear this time and time again. Thanks for being beautiful and for inspiring others to be likewise. Onward, kind, gentle, and fearless heart!
    June recently wrote…Babe at the beachMy Profile

    • November 16, 2011 Alison

      I do hope I can at least inspire one person. That would make me happy.

  • November 16, 2011 Laura

    A-men to that. We are so inundated with society’s definition of beautiful, which is actually damn near impossible for any woman to adhere to. Though it takes so long to become comfortable with ourselves, I think eventually, we can. Thirty seems like the magic age, but I’d love for some of my younger teenage students to see just how wonderful they really are.
    , , , , , , , .
    Laura recently wrote…Community Education: Keeping Women in the Kitchen One Song at a TimeMy Profile

    • November 16, 2011 Alison

      I do believe we can start them young – as a teacher, you’re in a great position to inspire them.

  • November 16, 2011 Mama Track

    Lovely post, Alison! So very true.
    Mama Track recently wrote…Recent Toddler TidbitsMy Profile

  • November 16, 2011 Rach (DonutsMama)

    Love this. All those magazines and pictures are incredibly airbrushed. And perfection is overrated. And unreal. I find beauty in the unique imperfections we all have. I so wish our younger selves would’ve listened to this.
    Rach (DonutsMama) recently wrote…All I Wanted Was A SouvenirMy Profile

    • November 16, 2011 Alison

      Yes! Perfection is overrated and unreal. Totally.

  • November 16, 2011 My Inner Chick

    —Why does it take us so long to realize that the “Internal” beauty is what lasts & is significant?
    ~~~Why does it take us an eternity to understand that We. Are. Beautiful.

    Xxx smooches for you, beautiful Alison.
    My Inner Chick recently wrote…You Never Saw ItalyMy Profile

    • November 16, 2011 Alison

      I don’t know, but I am determined to spread this message of inner beauty where I can!

  • November 16, 2011 Melanie


    This is wonderful. Truly wonderful! It’s so easy for us as women to forget that beauty comes from what’s within the heart and not from our physical appearance.

    Kudos to you because of this amazing post!
    Melanie recently wrote…A Featured Post…My Profile

    • November 16, 2011 Alison

      Thank you Melanie!

  • November 16, 2011 John

    There is nothing more beautiful than a woman who thoroughly knows & loves herself.
    John recently wrote…Where I wordlessly recap the marathon #WordlessWednesdayMy Profile

    • November 16, 2011 Alison

      Yes, that exactly!

  • November 17, 2011 Erika Marie

    I only wish I could be as confident about my physical appearance. It’s probably the biggest thing that holds me back, keeps me in this house, weighs me down… Thank you for your inspiring words!
    Erika Marie recently wrote…My Baby Like WhoaMy Profile

    • November 17, 2011 Alison

      Thank YOU for reading.

  • November 17, 2011 Christi

    This is wonderful. I feel inspired to share it with my 11-year-old when she gets home from school today. πŸ™‚
    Christi recently wrote…Wordless Wednesday: Balancing ActMy Profile

    • November 17, 2011 Alison

      Oh please do!! πŸ™‚

  • November 17, 2011 Kristin

    Good message. All girls would do well to remember it. Unfortunately, some things take time, maturity, and perspective to realize. But that’s no reason not to keep hammering home the message.
    Kristin recently wrote…I’m Only Here to Show OffMy Profile

  • November 17, 2011 FranceRants

    Word. You are dope.

    (yes due to my orange hair today, i have taken up gangsta speak in an effort to ward off any orange hair comments. i may have to let my tween daughter read this post. for reals.)

    • November 17, 2011 Alison

      If you did let your daughter read this, I’d be so flattered. And I’ll even forgive your orange hair.

  • November 17, 2011 julie gardner

    I’ve been watching my twelve-year-old daughter like a hawk for signs that she may feel this way.

    Like a hawk, I tell you.

    I credit her karate classes for making her feel strong and capable and worthwhile beyond her looks. It’s a studio with boys and girls interacting and appreciating each other in uniforms – hair back – no make-up.

    They learn to value commitment and perseverance.

    And yet.

    I know there will be a day she thinks it’s not enough.

    And I can only hope that I can teach her she is wrong.
    julie gardner recently wrote…Today call me shortMy Profile

    • November 17, 2011 Alison

      I know you can. You, of all people, definitely can.

  • November 17, 2011 Mommy2Β’

    This is such a touching post; and so true. Sometimes as a 33 year old woman, I will still find myself struggling with some of the insecurities you listed above and then I’ll snap myself out of it by reminding myself what’s really important in life. Beautiful writing, Alison. Simply beautiful.
    Mommy2Β’ recently wrote…When Buddy’s sick, everyone suffers!My Profile

    • November 17, 2011 Alison

      Aw, thank you.

  • November 17, 2011 Kid Id

    Hear Hear! You go girl!
    Kid Id recently wrote…A Letter to My SonMy Profile

  • November 17, 2011 The Reason You Come

    I love this! It’s awesome that the girl who had demons of insecurity has turned into a woman of confidence! Kudos to you! I envy you. I, on the other hand, seem to be regressing. I was besieged with insecurities when I was in my teens and early twenties, then I gained confidence in my late twenties. Now that I’m in my early 30s, though, I’m beginning to have the insecurity of the senior citizen; that sinking feeling every time I realize I’m never going to be young again.

    Btw, I’m sorry for dropping by months after your visit to my blog. I haven’t had time and haven’t even updated my blog since July. Have to find time, though. I miss blogging!

    Love the new look! πŸ™‚
    The Reason You Come recently wrote…The Freelance QueenMy Profile

    • November 17, 2011 Alison

      You’re as young as you feel inside – I think you’re beautiful by the way!

      And I’ve missed you! Thanks for dropping by.

  • November 17, 2011 Mrs. Weber

    I totally have to share this everywhere when it’s not nighttime here! AMAZING. I need to print this off for my daughter. And I love that quote at the end!
    Mrs. Weber recently wrote…My Mom Purse – Help!My Profile

    • November 19, 2011 Alison

      Thank you Lauren!!

  • November 17, 2011 Asianmommy

    What a lovely message.
    Asianmommy recently wrote…Goodnight iPadMy Profile

  • November 18, 2011 Rebecca Pacrem (

    I’m not sure you’ll read this after the long list of comments. In any case I found you on Literal Mom’s blog and thought I should follow you.
    Rebecca Pacrem ( recently wrote…My World Of Quotes #14My Profile

    • November 18, 2011 Alison

      I read all the comments Rebecca πŸ™‚ Thanks for coming by and following.

  • November 18, 2011 Mel

    What an awesome message for girls – and women – everywhere.
    Mel recently wrote…World Prematurity DayMy Profile

  • November 19, 2011 Leighann

    This is a fantastic post!
    Excellent my friend. xo
    Leighann recently wrote…Look Who’s ComingMy Profile

    • November 19, 2011 Alison

      Aw, thank you Leighann!

  • November 20, 2011 Erica

    I wish I had read this when I was younger….I’m glad I read it now. Thank you.
    Erica recently wrote…#MamaSupport Something To RememberMy Profile

  • November 22, 2011 This Side of 30

    If only every girl took this to heart, how much happier we’d all be. No more mean girls! I wish I could have told my younger self all of this.

    Thank you for this letter, I know many girls will feel better because of it. Myself included.

    • November 22, 2011 Alison

      Thank you for reading, and I’m glad you feel better!

  • November 29, 2011 Nicole

    Beautifully written!
    Nicole recently wrote…My Nanosecond of Fame {Lessons Learned from being on National News}My Profile

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