Flip Offs

posted in: Rant 0 comments

Yesterday, I wrote about the things I like about myself, and I mentioned being honest.

So I’ll be honest here. I want to do a Flip Off post. One where you let it all out, release the angst and enjoy the weekend. Momma Kiss hosts Friday Flip-Offs and asked me on Twitter (where it all happens, people!) if I’d be flipping some sh*t off. So I said, YES! Although by the time this goes live, it won’t be Friday anymore. At least not for me, seeing as I’m a million time zones ahead of you (do you guys still find that freaky? Like I’m from the future?)

I’d like to give a big flip off to the following types of drivers I encounter EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

The Ones With The Cellphones 

Really? You cannot keep your paws off your stupid phone for the duration of your drive?? Do you HAVE to check your text messages/ tweets/ emails EVERY SINGLE SECOND of the day? Would you not rather STAY ALIVE and concentrate on the road? Instead of plodding along slowly because you can’t concentrate on oh, I don’t know, DRIVING??

The Ones Who Drive BELOW Any Kind of Speed Limit

I actually find it amazing you can go so slowly. It’s very difficult to drive at a snail’s pace. You have to take your foot off the pedal, resist that prickly heat that’s rising from your posterior to your neck from sitting in your car so long (since you drive so slow, it must take you ages to get anywhere), and endure angry honking.

The Ones Who Do Not Indicate/ Signal

See that thing sticking out from your steering wheel? Yeah that lever-like thing that moves up or down if you flick it? Yes, that. It’s called an INDICATOR/ SIGNAL THINGYMAJIGGY. DO it. Just do it.

The Ones Who Do Not Drive Within Lanes

Do you have to hog two lanes? And in such a way that someone behind you who does know how to drive, cannot pass? Is this your way of screwing with me us?

The Ones Who Tailgate

Hold your horses, racer boy. I’ll get out of your way as soon as I can find some space on the other lane. There is no need to follow my car so closely I can see your chin pimple from the rear view mirror.

Thanks Momma Kiss for this outlet. Phew, now I can have a good Saturday!

 Do you want to flip off someone on the road? Or is it just me, trying to restrain myself from performing acts of road rage?

Alison

Alison

Alison

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  • July 16, 2011 Crystal

    These are great! Venting feels great sometimes!! I saw a sign once that I loved and goes great with your #1.

    “Honk if you love Jesus. Text if you want to meet him.”

    Great post!!
    Crystal recently wrote…Our Baby LegacyMy Profile

    • July 16, 2011 Alison

      Haha that’s a great quote!

  • July 16, 2011 Not a Perfect Mom

    the tailgaters..seriously! they get me..
    and the people that pass you and zoom up to the red light…congrats, you’re first in line! makes me nuts

    • July 16, 2011 Alison

      You’re right, what’s up with these people???

  • July 16, 2011 Natalie

    Ha ha get it all out girl! I have to watch my road rage as well…and I hate, HATE when people are texting and driving!
    Natalie recently wrote…Life’s Lessons: Random EditionMy Profile

    • July 16, 2011 Alison

      It’s obvious people are terrible at multitasking while driving. And yes it felt good to get it all out! (actually I was going to write more but stopped at 5 before it got out of hand hehe)

  • July 16, 2011 MommaKiss

    For Real, the slow drivers make me nuts.

    Also, um, I don’t always use the blinker. Sorry!

    • July 16, 2011 Alison

      Because it’s your linky, I’ll forgive you. xo

  • July 16, 2011 Nicole

    I am guilty of Number #1….I’m working on it. 😉 Don’t flip me off…

    • July 16, 2011 Alison

      Hahahaha! You should work on it – my SIL got into an accident while fiddling with her iPhone! (no one got hurt but the car was a different story)

  • July 16, 2011 liz

    What about the ones who decide, at the last minute, that they want to get 3 lanes over to exit? Those are real winners, too. 🙂

    • July 16, 2011 Alison

      Oh dear god, yes, THOSE people. Argghhhh. Also? People who hit and run, then go shopping. 🙂

  • July 16, 2011 Julie

    Dang girl, some serious road rage today!
    Julie recently wrote…I was a grade-school floozyMy Profile

    • July 16, 2011 Alison

      Hahaha! It’s because I have to drive everyday and my stress levels are always super high while driving!

  • July 16, 2011 mom2kiddos

    I can’t stand those who do not indicate and would like to give the middle finger(s) to those who tailgate. Like your list. You, sweet Alison, road rage? No, don’t see that happening. Middle finger, yes.
    mom2kiddos recently wrote…5 Question Friday #3My Profile

    • July 16, 2011 Alison

      I contain my rage in the car by swearing (a lot), flipping the bird and banging on the steering wheel and horn.

  • July 16, 2011 Ann

    That’s too funny! Are flip-off Fridays limited to driving annoyances only?
    Ann recently wrote…Linguine with Two Cheese Sauce – and a few other things!My Profile

    • July 16, 2011 Alison

      Oh goodness no, you can flip off ANYTHING or ANYONE!!

  • July 16, 2011 kim sisto robinson

    I deeeeeeeespise idiots who do not signal….I mean,how the hell tough is that?? Cooome On!
    kim sisto robinson recently wrote…Accidental InsightsMy Profile

    • July 16, 2011 Alison

      Exactly!!!

  • July 16, 2011 Asianmommy

    One time, the car in front of me threw trash out of their window, which then hit my car. I got out of my car at the next light and asked them not to do that. Probably a stupid move on my part, but I was so mad!

    • July 16, 2011 Alison

      Wow you were brave!!!! But throwing trash is not just stupid and annoying, it’s dangerous!

  • July 16, 2011 Mrs. Tuna

    Sadly, I am married to a mega tailgater, I’ll give him your regards.
    Mrs. Tuna recently wrote…Ding, 5th Floor Ladies ShoesMy Profile

    • July 16, 2011 Alison

      Hahahaha, yes please tell him to flip off 🙂

  • July 16, 2011 Kim

    YES! To all of these. They are the exact same ones that bother me, with one more: keep your child buckled in her carseat! I don’t know what it is about the city I live in, but I see a child (age 5 and less) roaming around in a car while it is in motion (not just 1 mph in a parking lot, but 30 mph). I don’t get it. Grrrr… Thanks! I feel better already 🙂
    Kim recently wrote…The Halves of HeartsMy Profile

    • July 16, 2011 Alison

      It’s shocking really, when I see people with so little regard for their children’s safety. It’s quite common in Malaysia to see children running around in the back seat, sticking hands and even legs out the windows and once I saw a woman with a NEWBORN BABY in her arms in the passenger seat with no seat belt!!

      • July 16, 2011 Kim

        My hubby was just in Malaysia and we got a care package from him yesterday with Batik items!! He loved it there, but I’ll have to ask him about the car situation with children to see if he ran across any “I can’t believe this” 🙂 It just doesn’t make sense to me why kids are allowed to do this…
        Kim recently wrote…The Halves of HeartsMy Profile

  • July 16, 2011 Kimberly

    So let me make sure I have this straight… you’re a completely calm, totally relaxed, go-with-the-flow type driver, right? What?!? YOU have road rage?!?!

    Of course you do. You know why? I do too. #twinthing
    Kimberly recently wrote…I Am EnoughMy Profile

    • July 16, 2011 Alison

      Hahahahahahaha!! I am constantly angry when driving 🙂 #twinthing

  • July 16, 2011 Christi

    I confess – I’m a tailgater. I’m better these days though – I really make a point of not doing it at all when my kids are in the car with me. Since that’s most of the time now, I suppose my driving habits are improving.

    • July 16, 2011 Alison

      Hah! Tailgater!! At least you know you’re doing it and you’re not a racer boy 🙂

  • July 16, 2011 The Drama Mama

    Well…I’m only a tailgater when #2 is in action. But the chin pimple? Hahaha. That cracked me up!!
    The Drama Mama recently wrote…Queen of the RackMy Profile

    • July 16, 2011 Alison

      Yes, that is acceptable (because I do it too hehe). I cracked myself up too with the zit reference 🙂

  • July 16, 2011 WorldsWorstMoms

    I’m with you on all of these. Plus I really hate the cops who blatantly break all the traffic laws, just because they’re in cop cars! No lights! No sirens! Just IN a cop car. Sorry, but in that case, you’re just a regular car like the rest of us!

    Okay, that was a lot of exclamation points. And I so rarely use those. Must be the road rage.

    • July 16, 2011 Alison

      Hee hee!! Darn cops!!! (too many exclamation points?)

  • July 16, 2011 Karen

    Yes! Down with tailgaters! Down with the lane hoggers! As someone who was taken out by a big rig when I was 21, it’s nice for people to remember they’re driving a leathal weapon!!

    And I imagine we’re up at the same time…it’s 1:30 in the morning here. Are you up? :> But, I’m about to go to bed. I’m going to need some energy as we’re taking the kidlets to the beach tomorrow!
    Karen recently wrote…Kick Ass ShoesMy Profile

    • July 16, 2011 Alison

      Ohmygoodness, you were hit by a rig??? How awful!

      I’m 15 hours ahead of you so at the time of your writing, it was 4.30pm for me all the way in Malaysia 🙂 Have fun at the beach!

  • July 16, 2011 Anastasia

    I hate when they don’t signal! UGh!
    Anastasia recently wrote…So Fucking Excited About This!My Profile

    • July 16, 2011 Alison

      I know! It’s like, what, can I read your mind, douchebag??

  • July 16, 2011 RoryBore

    How about those ones you can tell are having a Really Intense convo with their passenger? A truck recently passed me..actually almost crossed the centre line….and I could clearly see the driver (a man, but not the point) was yelling at the woman beside him. His hands were going a mile a minute – off the wheel often – he was looking at her. I swear a saw some spit land on her face! Another time I saw a car go right through a red light and almost T-boned me, with my 3 children in the van, and a similar discussion was happening.
    It’s not enough these people probably act like this in thier own homes, they have to subject other drivers to it as well?
    RoryBore recently wrote…Post Fail, or Why I Called my computer a bad nameMy Profile

    • July 16, 2011 Alison

      You know, I was thinking about adding that but I had to cut myself off at 5, because I was getting more and more outraged as I wrote this lol. But yes, people should just DRIVE, what a novel idea, eh?

  • July 16, 2011 Debi

    Got to add one:
    The people that hear a siren and GUN IT. Seriously? Are you so entitled that you think where you are going and what you are doing is more important than the patient in that ambulance? Do you think firefighters and police and paramedics grow on trees and if you waste a couple with your evasive maneuvers there will be more just waiting to take the high-risk-lousy-pay-worse-hours jobs to save your sorry ass later?

    WOW. That does feel good! Thanks.
    Debi recently wrote…Weight Conscious BoyMy Profile

    • July 16, 2011 Alison

      Hahaha, glad you vented! Yes, there are those too, gosh so many idiots on the road!

  • July 16, 2011 Jessica

    I can see the pimple on your chin – hahahahaha!
    Jessica recently wrote…A moment in timeMy Profile

    • July 16, 2011 Alison

      🙂 Glad to have made you laugh! Have a great weekend, Jessica.

  • July 16, 2011 Ado

    I love this idea of writing down the flip offs that are on a constant march thru my mind at all times while I am driving. I am not texting while driving or anything but usually angsty about the Sunday driver I am stuck behind, while applying Burt’s Bees to my lips in my rear-view mirror, changing the DVD, passing a child a juice box and trying to program my nav system. Does this count as distracted? (-:
    Ado recently wrote…Two Cute Things My Kids Said This WeekMy Profile

    • July 16, 2011 Alison

      Hahahahaha! I would so kick your ass if you were in the car with me!

  • July 16, 2011 imperfectmomma

    Ugh…I hate tailgaters and people who dont signal! Its like hello?! Is your brain working?? And yes…I do end up screaming that to them. Though my window is closed and my child is looking at me like I am nuts
    imperfectmomma recently wrote…The Facts Of Life…no one warned me aboutMy Profile

    • July 17, 2011 Alison

      Haha! I regularly scream in my car too.

  • July 16, 2011 Rachel Joy

    Hmmmm I think you just adequately described Manila Traffic =)
    Rachel Joy recently wrote…Confrontations: Painful But NecessaryMy Profile

    • July 17, 2011 Alison

      I agree, Manila traffic is actually slightly worse than Kuala Lumpur traffic 🙂

  • July 16, 2011 Stasha

    I hear you. That is why I like to walk around. Because it is even more fun to exposed to one of these drivers on foot. Living on the edge you see…

    • July 17, 2011 Alison

      Haha, you’re so funny. On a more serious note, pedestrians here have to face the danger of reckless motorcycles too. I know of people who have been mowed down by them. Stay safe!

  • July 17, 2011 Ashley

    Oh, man, I’m not even sure which is the worst! It’s hard to say, truly. It can be traumatizing driving down the road!
    Ashley recently wrote…Time flies by- Rockin’ the BabyMy Profile

    • July 17, 2011 Alison

      It is a stressful time!

  • July 17, 2011 Rach (DonutsMama)

    How about those stupid drivers that speed through school zones? They make me the maddest of all!
    Rach (DonutsMama) recently wrote…Life’s Lessons: The Whiny-Butt EditionMy Profile

    • July 17, 2011 Alison

      Oh yeah, those! Gah. Reckless stupid people.

  • July 17, 2011 francerants

    don’t forget the jerk offs who have to get in front of you RIGHT NOT only to make a turn and….NOT USE THEIR SIGNALS….i hate those guys…
    francerants recently wrote…Fashion and Beauty Mistakes RantMy Profile

    • July 17, 2011 Alison

      Gosh there are so many I left out!!! Yes, those too. A-holes.

  • July 17, 2011 Lola

    LOVE your angry side! You should get bitchy more often 😉
    Lola recently wrote…The Click EarMy Profile

  • July 17, 2011 Charlotte

    Bwuahahhahaha!!! Awesome list! I’d like to add to your flip about the drivers who don’t signal: the drivers who signal AFTER they’ve already made the turn. what’s the point? thanks for telling me where you just came from!
    Charlotte recently wrote…Insomnia Club: TakenMy Profile

    • July 17, 2011 Alison

      Hahaha, that is true. Thanks for stopping by Charlotte.

  • July 18, 2011 Runnermom-jen

    I do kind of find it freaky that you are from the “future”. And all of the above drive me nuts too! Glad you got that off your chest. 🙂
    Runnermom-jen recently wrote…Dream VacationMy Profile

    • July 18, 2011 Alison

      Yes, I’m glad I got it off my chest too!

      #FromTheFuture

  • I call them “Drifters”. And they. Make. Me.
    INSANE.
    The 1st kind of drifter is just someone who doesn’t think they belong in one lane. They prefer 2.
    The 2nd kind I assume are texting/drunk/stoned/falling asleep/getting some sort of sexual gratification while driving.
    I prefer both of these types stay off the frickin’ road while I’m on it. Because I am not an annoying driver, so people like having me around. As for you, stupid drifters? I hate you.
    *whew* I feel better.
    Thanks.
    Kim at Let Me Start By Saying recently wrote…Muffin Tops Have Nuthin’ on my Bagel BellyMy Profile

    • July 18, 2011 Alison

      Haha you’re welcome! And those drifters are the types of drivers that make me want to commit random acts of road rage 🙂

  • July 18, 2011 Staying Afloat!

    I can’t stand people who tailgate either. They drive me BONKERS!! It’s like really? Do you think I’m going out of my way to make you late? I’m doing the speed limit if not a little over, I simply WILL NOT go faster for you and endanger my young childrens lives…thank you very much!

    The people I can’t stand are the ones who feel they have to pass you in a dangerous manor simply because you drive a minivan. You know, the ones that get right up your bumper, then quickly move to the other lane, zoom past you, then cut you off in the front. All this even though there is plenty of room to go around me (if you wish you crazy freaks. I understand all the stigmas that go along with driving a minivan, but GESH why do people have such short fuses when it comes to them on the roads?
    Staying Afloat! recently wrote…Noooo-kay!!!!!My Profile

    • July 18, 2011 Alison

      Minivan haters!! What asshats.

      I tell myself that these people just have miserable lives so they just take it out on the road!

  • July 18, 2011 MamaRobinJ

    I love that sweet little you flipped people off 😉

    I’m going to have to do this one day – it would be really cathartic.

    And yes, I do consider you from the future. Which I find strangely reassuring. You’re out there and it’s tomorrow and everything is okay.
    MamaRobinJ recently wrote…Hello, Inspiration – The Matter of MotherhoodMy Profile

    • July 18, 2011 Alison

      I am not always sweet hee hee!

      It did feel good writing it all down!

      I like that you said that, about me being from the future 🙂

  • July 18, 2011 Tina

    I love it!! That’s a great idea!
    Tina recently wrote…Silly SundayMy Profile

    • July 18, 2011 Alison

      Thanks Tina!

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