Yesterday, I wrote about the things I like about myself, and I mentioned being honest.
So I’ll be honest here. I want to do a Flip Off post. One where you let it all out, release the angst and enjoy the weekend. Momma Kiss hosts Friday Flip-Offs and asked me on Twitter (where it all happens, people!) if I’d be flipping some sh*t off. So I said, YES! Although by the time this goes live, it won’t be Friday anymore. At least not for me, seeing as I’m a million time zones ahead of you (do you guys still find that freaky? Like I’m from the future?)
I’d like to give a big flip off to the following types of drivers I encounter EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
The Ones With The Cellphones
Really? You cannot keep your paws off your stupid phone for the duration of your drive?? Do you HAVE to check your text messages/ tweets/ emails EVERY SINGLE SECOND of the day? Would you not rather STAY ALIVE and concentrate on the road? Instead of plodding along slowly because you can’t concentrate on oh, I don’t know, DRIVING??
The Ones Who Drive BELOW Any Kind of Speed Limit
I actually find it amazing you can go so slowly. It’s very difficult to drive at a snail’s pace. You have to take your foot off the pedal, resist that prickly heat that’s rising from your posterior to your neck from sitting in your car so long (since you drive so slow, it must take you ages to get anywhere), and endure angry honking.
The Ones Who Do Not Indicate/ Signal
See that thing sticking out from your steering wheel? Yeah that lever-like thing that moves up or down if you flick it? Yes, that. It’s called an INDICATOR/ SIGNAL THINGYMAJIGGY. DO it. Just do it.
The Ones Who Do Not Drive Within Lanes
Do you have to hog two lanes? And in such a way that someone behind you who does know how to drive, cannot pass? Is this your way of screwing with
The Ones Who Tailgate
Hold your horses, racer boy. I’ll get out of your way as soon as I can find some space on the other lane. There is no need to follow my car so closely I can see your chin pimple from the rear view mirror.
Thanks Momma Kiss for this outlet. Phew, now I can have a good Saturday!