Dear Fear of Mine,
You were not always part of my life.
When I was a little girl, I didn’t know you.
I climbed trees, not worried about whether I was better at it than others or not.
I slept well at night, you were not there skulking in my head.
I loved school, grades did not matter to me.
You started creeping into my life when I was in my teens.
I started to watch what I ate, wondering why the ‘baby fat’ wasn’t disappearing.
I tried to make friends with the cool people at school, thinking I’d be less lonely and unhappy.
I slogged over school work, worried that it was never good enough.
You truly waltzed in when I became an adult.
My first job in sales, I dreaded the cold calls. I didn’t want to talk to strangers selling something I didn’t believe in.
Friends around me were buying houses, settling down into marriages; I wasn’t.
You were responsible for my lack of achievement. Or so I thought.
I realized one day, that you could be my friend, not a dreaded presence.
You motivated me to work hard.
You made me think about all my decisions in a measured way.
You let me see my true self.
You made me determined to be the best mother possible to my son.
Failure, thanks to you, I fear nothing now.
From a prompt from red writing hood, a letter to your fear